Blind Faith
by maia smith
Summary: Jasper relocates to Seattle for a new job.   He joins a "gentlemen's club" and a bizarre relationship results.  He befriends Edward Cullen the son of the Firms founder. He's hot and bothered but Edward is straight.  Will Jasper get his happy ending?
1. Chapter 1

**Blind Faith**

**Jasper**

**Chapter 1**

I'd been in Seattle for a month, had moved in to my new place, made the requisite connections in relation to the job at the law firm for which I'd relocated from Austin, Texas, impressed a hell of a lot of people there, dodged the advances of some seriously aggressive women and against my better judgment agreed to allow my sister Rosalie's best friend Alice to decorate my condo.

At my new job with the law firm of Cullen and Cullen, I'd be joining as a senior associate attorney specializing in tort law. I was looking forward to the change for a multitude of reasons, primarily to get away from my past in Austin and the stuffy firm I'd worked for. I needed a fresh start.

The Cullen firm was new and young, and it appeared there was plenty of room for advancement. I wanted to make partner within a few years and I didn't want my sexual preference interfering with my ambitions. I had specifically mentioned being gay in my interview and there had been no issue which was refreshing and helped me make the decision to accept their offer.

In Austin it had become clear at the firm I worked for that there was no room for a gay partner who was out of the closet. Trust me when I say there were plenty of closeted gays there but I couldn't be dishonest with myself after the struggle and pain I'd gone through coming out to my family. Suffice it to say I am no longer in touch with most of my family, the memories of our prior closeness too painful to dwell on.

I had chosen Seattle primarily to be close to the only relative who still acknowledged me my sister Rosalie. I was thankful for her cantankerous take no prisoners spirit. She stood by me and supported me through the worst. I was now getting settled into my place and had just the weekend before me before I started work.

I was feeling restless; with the move and whirlwind of activity behind me it looked like I would have to face myself and my issues. I decided a little clubbing would do no harm and keep me from rehashing my regrets over and over like a broken record; I resorted to asking Rosalie for recommendations. She of course knew all the hot places to go including the upscale gay clubs.

I dressed all in black and decided on a dove gray silk jacket as a contrast to my blond hair and deep blue eyes. I paired that with a black leather belt featuring a silver lone star buckle and black snakeskin cowboy boots that accentuated my 6 foot 2 height. I had a silver hoop in my ear that matched my nipple ring. Hopefully I'd get a few tugs on that tonight.

I smirked at myself in the mirror making one last check before I left. I knew I looked hot and the odds were pretty damn good I'd be hooking up before the end of the evening. Yeah, I was confident. To that end, I made sure that I was fully prepared with all the "necessities".

I arrived at "Seth's Place" around 10 o'clock and there was a crowd waiting to get in. I stood around for about 15 minutes but saw very little movement in the line as I observed a number of patrons who must have special access filter past the gold velvet rope under the scrutiny of the bouncer.

Standing next to the bouncer was a tall elegant man dressed all in black, his white blonde hair and pale complexion standing in stark contrast to his dark outfit. He caught my eye and grinned. I grinned back then blushed, lowering my eyes and glancing away shyly…some guys like that; he was kind of cute.

Standing in line was not my scene and it looked like I would be waiting at least an hour or so. Disappointed I decided to head out and try my luck another night. I turned and walked away hearing the pulse of the music start up, hands in pockets. I stepped off the corner at the light and felt a hand tuck through my arm and swing me back in the direction of the club.

"Wherever do you think you're going beautiful?" The man, gorgeous, but a complete stranger, said in a lilting voice. He gave me a broadly exaggerated wink and escorted me past the queue of grumbling patrons into the club.

I was immediately assaulted by the loud music and pulsing lights. The place was very crowded and exuded excitement and decadence. Just my cup of tea for the frame of mind I was in, keyed up and randy as a teenager.

"Your presence has been requested; looks like you've caught the big guy's eye" Mr. Gorgeous said. I was a little uncomfortable by the unwanted attention and now that I was in sought to sink back into anonymity. Curiosity got the better of me.

"Who would that be?"

"Well that would be Seth himself. By the way, the name's Jacob, Jacob Black." Ah…a name at last.

"I'm Jasper Whitlock, nice to meet you Jacob. I'm pretty new to Seattle."

"That's obvious," Jacob laughed. "Judging by the reactions of the twinks you're the shiny new toy. I'm sure you'll have your pick tonight"

It was my turn to chuckle. "Twinks are not my thing. I like a real manly man if you know what I mean." speaking with a deep rumble in my voice.

"Oooh, I think we have just what the doctor ordered," he rolled his eyes dramatically obviously teasing me as we walked. I liked the guy; I hoped maybe we could become friends at some point. I'd need to make the odd acquaintance given that I would be making Seattle my home for the foreseeable future and Jacob really seemed like a pleasant guy.

It was hot in the club, the heat primarily generated by the dancing couples and solo free spirits crowded together on the dance floor, moving together as if they were one live organism. I was aware of the stray hand here and there touching me trailing across various parts of my body as we moved through the throng and the touches or grabs in some cases were not always gentle.

A few murmured admiring comments as they pressed up against me as I passed, stroking my body erotically. I smiled to myself. My looks were clearly drawing attention and I was not averse to the sexiness of being lightly fondled and titillated by the curious more adventurous fingertips.

The décor of the club was done in elegant combinations of black and gold; it was clear that this was a higher end establishment.

A long bar, backlit by blue lighting that highlighted the display of expensive liquor on the glass shelves, ran dramatically down one side of the club ending near a low stage currently occupied by a DJ spinning tracks and hyping the dance crowd. Near the other end of the bar was a small stair leading up to a roped off area somewhat secluded from the rest of the club. This must be the VIP area, I mused as I continued to be pulled along by Mr. Gorgeous…er Jacob, who kept smiling back at me as he kept his hand firmly at my elbow.

I was becoming curious as to where we were heading, I was ready to get my game on but that didn't appear to be on Jacob's agenda. I hadn't even had a drink yet.

Jacob's russet complexion glowed; he was clean shaven, his flawless skin was offset by the darkest eyes; his shiny black hair was pulled back in a ponytail.

He was wearing a white oxford shirt, sleeves rolled up to the elbows, tie hanging loose like he'd just gotten off work. His black slacks clung to his body in all the right places. Too bad this gorgeous hunk of man was not my type but whatever; it got me entrance to Seth's.

"Seth wants to meet you, are you okay with that?"

"How could I say no? I mean it is his place right?" My discomfort grew but I was calmed by Jacob's easygoing presence as he guided me towards what I assumed was the VIP area.

We stopped at the end of the bar as Jacob engaged one of the cocktail waitresses in a brief conversation. I gathered her name was Heidi and she was a looker. If I were straight I would have definitely taken her on. I saw her briefly look at me then smirk at Jacob knowingly. My uneasiness increased. I began to feel like everyone but me knew the score.

"Hey Whitlock, what do you want to drink?" Jacob asked turning to me as Heidi walked back to the bar.

"Remy Martin, if you have it" I responded.

"Oooh, expensive tastes!" He turned to Heidi who promptly gave our orders to the bartender.

Little did Jacob know that I was used to having the best of everything. For me, money was not a subject of discussion, it was just there in massive quantities. In fact, I had paid cash for my condo which was located in one of the more exclusive communities in Seattle. Despite the falling out with my family, I was still beneficiary of the family trust. Fortunately for me my parents had no control over its disposition. The fact that I chose to work when I didn't need to was a source of personal pride.

My eyes wandered to the VIP area close by as I waited for my drink. I saw fleeting movements; a figure standing still, obscured by shadow then moving quickly as he exited through a door; he was briefly backlit by the subdued lighting from somewhere within giving me only the briefest glimpse of a halo of coppery hair gracing a tall lithe body.

Jacob handed me a drink and we both took a long sip.

"Good stuff, Whitlock. C'mon, let's go meet the man" Jacob unclipped the velvet rope which guarded access to the VIP area and closed it once we both passed through. We went up the short stair case to an open area where comfortable leather sofas were casually arranged around low tables. I wondered how I had rated entrée to this status.

I observed the men congregated there, some clearly couples as evidenced by their intertwined bodies and quiet moans, some larger groups engaging in casual conversation, drink and laughter. I was able to identify a few famous faces, primarily sports figures from the local teams. I was suitably impressed and wondered if Seth guarded their identities presuming that exposure as being gay might endanger their livelihood.

It was something I considered before going out tonight; although I had stated my sexual preference in my interview with the Cullen firm, there was a certain professional decorum that needed to be maintained by all attorneys when mingling with the public. This was meant primarily to maintain credibility with prospective clients. The same was expected of straight employees so I didn't feel singled out. Regardless, I was cautious about venturing out.

I glanced back towards the dance floor from this vantage point which provided an impressive view of the writhing mass of men, some shirtless and sweaty clearly enjoying themselves. I wanted to be out there and hoped my obligatory introduction to Seth would be short and sweet.

Jacob motioned me towards a door at the back of the lounge where I had most recently spied a fleeting figure. He swiped a card and we gained entrance. We stood in a sumptuous hallway, the lighting dim, the mood sultry. I could hear soft strains of jazz music as the door shut with a thump sealing us off from the club. It was well insulated and the loud pulsating rhythms of the DJ did not penetrate the serene atmosphere. The carpeting was thick and plush adding to the subdued ambience.

Jacob walked down the hall as I followed behind. I noticed we passed a number of identical doors and idly wondered what lay beyond. He glanced back at me and winked.

"Nervous?" He teased.

"Should I be?" Things were getting a little weird. He didn't respond.

I still had a drink in my hand so I polished off what remained feeling the expensive liquor warm my insides in its descent through my body calming my increasingly jangled nerves.

Jacob stopped at a door set down a small alcove and swiped his card again but before entering pressed an intercom button located to the right of the door.

"Jacob" was all he said followed by an electronic click whereupon the door opened on its own.

"You're on your own now buddy, see you around" With that, Jacob smiled slapped me lightly on the shoulder turned on his heel and returned to the club; I caught the brief explosion of music before the door thumped shut once again.

I stood awkwardly at the open door nervously rolling the empty glass between my hands as I looked around darting my eyes at the men congregated within pondering what to do next. They were casually engaged in conversation obviously enjoying each other's company. I'd venture to guess the group numbered no more than a dozen.

Music played softly in the background as they talked and laughed, sipping at cocktails moving gracefully about the room engaging each other, almost appearing to glide in a sexual dance.

I noticed a few couples, but most of the men appeared to be unaccompanied. All were impeccably groomed and expensively dressed. Some looked vaguely familiar, I chose not to focus or speculate as to who they were and where I might have seen them. Clearly, discretion was desired.

The only woman in the room was Heidi who I had briefly encountered earlier, there clearly as bartender only. She looked up and winked at me.

No one else appeared to have taken notice of me yet, how could they not? Jacob had announced our arrival before he departed and left me, essentially abandoned me, with no clue as to what I was supposed to do next.

Why was I here? Where was this Seth this mystery man who wanted to meet me. I was growing impatient as I felt the evening sliding out of my control. Why all the cloak and dagger mystery?

Were they purposely ignoring me, I wondered. Should I turn and follow Jacob and retreat back to the club?

I finally caught the eye of the man I recalled seeing outside Seth's Place when I first arrived; his white blond hair and cadaverous build made him a striking sight. He smiled, stopping his conversation midstream and approached me.

I was not used to feeling insecure or awkward so my annoyance was growing as I watched him stride elegantly towards me with a wide smile and twinkling gray eyes. He held out his hand which I took in mine and gave his a firm shake releasing it immediately.

"Jasper Whitlock, I presume?" His eyes were full of mir. Was he laughing at my annoyed state? It must have shown on my face. I nodded in response momentarily lost for words.

"I'm James, come join us." He took the empty glass from my hand and casually draped his other arm across my shoulders guiding me towards the men congregated near the bar.

"Heidi, a refill for the young man. What are you having?" He sat the empty glass on the bar.

"He's having Remy Martin" Heidi responded with a smile directed at me as she swept up my used glass and replaced it with a heavy cut crystal tumbler half-full of the delicious cognac. The tumbler was similar to a set I had at my condo so I knew it was a very expensive way to serve drinks. I appreciated the gesture.

I sipped slowly as James introduced me to the assembled group. All were amazingly handsome and well built. I could easily see myself leaving with any one of them.

Conversation grew easier and I slowly let my guard down as I got to know them. I was beginning to enjoy myself for the first time this evening.

"Jasper, I'd like you to meet Emmett McCarty, but I'm sure he needs no introduction." Of course not, Emmett was wide receiver for the Seattle Seahawks, one of the more popular players on the team. Who knew? I was impressed.

"Great to meet you bro'" he slapped me on the back. Of course, he immediately launched into a detailed football discussion. He was animated and funny, boisterous and joyful. I liked him immediately. He had me doubled over from laughter. I completely let go of my earlier inhibitions.

"I hear you hail from Austin, Texas. Please tell me you're not a Dallas fan!" he growled but I knew he was just teasing.

"Actually, I went to law school at University of Texas and started at Royce King after graduation but my family is based primarily in New York." I answered, the pit of my stomach dropping as I thought of the estrangement from my parents.

I decided not to dwell on the negative and gave a few sports related anecdotes about my dad and I and our devotion to the Jets. Sparks flew as I teased Emmett back regaling him with stories of our luxury box near the fifty-yard line. He demanded that I make sure his stepbrother was invited to our box the next time the Seahawks played the Jets and his stepbrother was in New York.

"I want Eddie to watch us bury your beloved Jets" he got in my face and slapped a beefy hand on my shoulder. We were both getting a little drunk.

"Sure, I'll let my dad know." Could I? I let it slide not expecting to actually have to extend the invitation.

James approached us. It seems Emmett had monopolized me for the better part of an hour. He touched Emmett lightly on the arm and silently pointed to his watch. Emmett's eyes widened.

"I totally lost track of time. I've got curfew and need to get back it's nearly midnight." He looked at me and grabbed my hand.

"Jazz, it was great to meet you and I hope to continue the friendship." He said warmly, pulling me into a tight embrace. I wasn't attracted to him sexually but I definitely wanted him as a buddy.

"Give James your information and I'll get you tickets to our next home game."

"That's great, Emmett, I'm looking forward to it. I'll give James my cell number as well so we can stay in touch."

He departed with a big wave and I turned back to James whose role clearly appeared to be host but who did so with a bit of a mystery, as if he was simply engineering events.

"Are you enjoying yourself Jasper?" He smiled and handed me a fresh drink.

"Surprisingly given how the evening started, I'm genuinely enjoying myself James, although I still haven't met the elusive Seth. I thought that's why I ended up here in the first place."

"Oh, it is" James intoned obscurely. "Maybe next time he'll make an appearance. He's a little shy"

I sipped my drink feeling a little tipsy thankful I took a cab rather than drive. The evening was winding down as I observed that some of the men had paired up and were departing. A few lingered deep in conversation.

It seemed after all that I wouldn't be hooking up with anyone tonight. I was a little disappointed given my earlier anticipation. Regardless, it had been a very interesting evening.

I placed my glass down on the bar and waved goodbye to Heidi. I spied a large snifter full of money, I drew out my money clip and added a hundred dollar bill to the pile. I nodded to James and signaled that I was leaving.

His hand wound around my bicep and he held be back lightly as the last of the men and Heidi departed leaving just the two of us. Some of my earlier nervousness returned.

"Jasper, I'm sure you're wondering a bit about the gathering back here and the machinations you went through to join us. I do apologize for any discomfort you might have suffered." He paused considering his words.

"We desire discretion above all else, as you've probably become keenly aware this evening. I do need to share with you as well that you're not here by accident. I admit that I thought we wouldn't see you quite so soon. It seems your father," I was astounded. I removed myself from his grip and stood back.

"What in the hell does my father have to do with anything?" I said rather loudly, disturbed at this turn of events. The last thing I expected was to hear my father referred to in this context.

"Very little, in the final analysis, it's just that he mentioned to a close associate of his that you were relocating to Seattle and might be in need of friends and contacts. I don't think he expected it to include membership in a gentlemen's club, well let me clarify, an exclusively gay gentlemen's club." He chuckled.

"It turns out that one of our members is employed at Cullen and Cullen and was aware of your father's request to his associate who is also employed there, hence, we are extending an invitation to you to join us."

"You may not be aware but my father is not exactly ecstatic that I've come out as a gay man. We are estranged and haven't spoken in over a year."

"I am sorry to hear that, nevertheless, it does appear he has some residual filial concern for you."

I puzzled over my dad's apparent interference in my life but I was too tired and a little too drunk to think long and hard about it right now.

"James, thank you for the enjoyable evening and I'll accept your offer of membership. I have a feeling more than a few friendships will result." I scrubbed my hands over my face feeling the effects of alcohol and the long day before I shook his hand and turned to leave.

"Jasper, a few more things; here is a packet of information I'd like you to complete and return. We require it of all members. There is also a key fob included with which you can come and go from the club as you please via a separate entrance. I'll show you as we depart. We look forward to a long association."

He handed me the envelope as we walked out of the private bar down the hall. James' cell phone rang and he answered as we proceeded to the back exit. He came to a sudden stop, listening intently before he looked up at me.

"Jasper, do you mind letting yourself out? There's something I need to attend to."

He pointed to the exit door and darted back towards the club. I stood there until I heard the solid thump of the door as it shut behind James before I reached for the exit door.

A sudden movement behind me that I felt rather than heard startled me and stalled my movements; I dropped the package in anticipation of the need to defend myself; a thrill of fear curled down my spine but before I could react something black covered my head and all was darkness as I was dragged off by strong arms.

I tried to yell but my cries were muffled. The cloth covering my face was stifling my breath with hot air. I struggled against my attacker, kicking my legs back and making contact certainly.

"Oww, that's my shin, now shush will ya!" my attacker whispered harshly as he held me in his grip pulling at me relentlessly until I heard another door open and shut; I was plunged into inky darkness. I was hyper aware of my captors every breath, he held me tightly wrapped in his arms, breathing heavily with the exertion.

"Stop struggling, I'm not going to hurt you and sorry for the dramatic entrance" he huffed trying to catch his breath. I was released from his strangling embrace ripping the blind from my eyes but the room was so dark I had no idea how I was going to find my way out. I was dizzy and momentarily lost my direction.

I backed into a wall but was still so disoriented that I focused only on his rapid breathing as a focal point to at least retain my sense of balance and direction. I was nauseous from the lack of orientation. Despite the desperateness of the situation, I found myself aroused for the first time tonight…Curious.

I splayed my hands against the fabric-covered wall, my only point of constancy, trying to place myself in reference to my captor.

I felt his heat as he moved towards me, his hot breath caressing my neck as he pressed himself against my torso caging me within his arms. He licked down my neck nipping at my collarbone then nuzzling into me. I stood frozen in a state of utter confusion laced with the sense that I was prey. My senses were on overload.

"I'm Seth, pleased to meet you."


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for the reviews, they are much appreciated! Anyway, here's Chapter 2.

In my excitement to post my first ever fanfic, I neglected to supply the vital disclaimer; All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. Only the story concept is mine.

**Blind Faith**

**Jasper**

**Chapter 2**

_I felt his heat as he moved towards me, his hot breath caressing my neck as he pressed himself against my torso caging me within his arms. He licked down my neck nipping at my collarbone then nuzzling into me. I stood frozen in a state of utter confusion laced with the sense that I was prey. My senses were on overload._

"_I'm Seth, pleased to meet you."_

_This is Seth?_ I had expected someone close to James' age but this guy seemed to be very young, about my age.

His scent wafted over me, an intoxicating blend of spice, mint and man as his fingers stroked me lightly; just barely there touches across my face down my chest to my abdomen where they lingered.

"Mmmm…you taste heavenly" he hummed softly into my neck licking and nipping while I stood paralyzed by the strangeness of the situation.

My arms still remained pressed against the wall but I felt myself harden as he began to thrust his hips into me gently but persistently. _This is weird_, I thought.

"I've been watching you all evening, you're so sexy" His hypnotic whispering voice was intoxicating; I pushed back into him blindly, my senses on high alert to his slightest touch, my body struggling against all rational judgment to recoil from his presence.

Which one of the men at the bar was he? I thought back and recalled a number of gorgeous specimens who made eye contact with me flirting harmlessly and honestly, while I would be happy to discover which he was, any one of them was a prize; I was willing but this game he was playing was too much and to what end?

I should be fighting to escape, but how? My conflicting thoughts raged as he pushed my jacket off my shoulders and his hands moved to unbuckle my belt. _Oh, hell no_.

I pushed back suddenly and sharply against his chest surprising him catching him off balance; I heard a sharp rap; he fell hard with an "ooof" as if he'd lost his breath.

"Are you crazy? Certifiable?" I shouted into the blackness, hearing no response.

I followed the wall, frantically looking for an opening, a door handle, some way out but the walls were smooth other than low fabric covered benches or built-in sofas, that ran along opposite sides of the room.

The room itself was disturbing to me; no light penetrated and reminded me of a game I used to play with my sister that we called "Dark, Dark Find Me Now". We'd turn off the lights, pull the shade and stuff a towel under the door to block any ambient light then hunt each other down. The winner was the first to make contact.

From what I could tell, other than the sofa benches, there was no other furniture, in fact as I'd discovered, it was hard to determine where the door was. What was the purpose of a room like this? Is it set up for sex? It seemed unlikely. The set up seemed more suited for a small chapel or meditation room.

I puzzled over Seth's actions; this was no game to me, I am an adult and this struck me as childish.

On the other hand, does he have some sort of facial disfigurement that he's concealing? Is he really as shy as James seemed to indicate? Is the truth a mixture of both?

I listened to the quiet and became increasingly aggravated.

"Listen _asshole, _I don't know what kind of game you're playing but this is not my idea of fun." I said as I continued to creep along the edge of the room.

"Seth, I suggest you let me get the hell out of here right now." I growled at him as I sought a way out while trying to stay away from his position.

I must have made a full circuit of the room as I found myself tripping over my jacket and I fell to my knees briefly. This was good because it was near where I had entered and meant a door was somewhere nearby; eventually I might be able to figure out how to get out of here.

A low moan escaped from my captor; I froze and considered the possibility I might have hurt him. Why should I care? This guy was a predator!

He remained silent; my concern overcame my anger and fear and I stilled my movements, my senses heightened to an excruciating level in the darkness…another soft moan. What if he _was_ injured?

"Seth, are you okay?" Beads of sweat rolled down my temples cooling my overheated body. The room was now humid and stuffy from our exertions; I couldn't get enough air in my lungs despite taking deep gasping breaths. All I could hear was my own labored breathing.

"Seth?"…Nothing. _Shit! I've really hurt him!_

A groan emanated from somewhere in front of me; I focused on the direction from which it came and inched forward through the darkness.

I sensed his presence now just a few feet in front of me, his sweaty heady scent rising from where he lay…unconscious?

I came into contact with his body and felt slight movement. I knelt down next to his legs and reached out blindly looking for a pulse, a sign of life.

I considered pulling my cell phone out and calling 911 but realized I had no way to guide them to my location. Did I have GPS on my I-Phone? I put this thought aside until I determined how injured he was. If only I could find a light!

My hands roamed over him in his stillness praying I hadn't caused major damage. I trailed my hand up his bicep feeling the strong muscle under his thin shirt and moved over his broad shoulder.

I continued up his neck, slick with sweat, emitting a delicious aroma feeding my starving senses. My hands moved to his face, over a strong jaw; I paused at his full lips that seemed to part slightly. Was it my imagination? He was still as a stone.

I grazed over his face, which held no sign of scars or other obvious disfigurement; it was smooth and soft other than fine stubble that ran along his jaw and neck.

I ran my fingers up his face to his sweaty forehead and into his hair looking for signs of injury. His hair was soft, silky and abundant. I felt along the back of his head and down to the nape of his neck. I felt for lumps or blood but found none.

His arm twitched as I ran my hand down seeking a pulse point.

I heard a loud sigh as his hand curled around my forearm, gripping tightly, my instinct was to pull away, my heart began beating frantically at his sudden movement but his body lifted towards me not allowing me to release my arm.

"Gotcha"

His other hand grasped my neck and pulled me towards him pressing his mouth to mine, his tongue teasing my lips.

His smiled widened against my mouth and he chuckled as he pushed me down and crawled over me pinning me to the floor. His strong body glided against me arousing every cell that touched his skin. I conceded defeat; lay back relaxed on the floor and allowed him to consume me.

I was relieved he was uninjured; I should have been angry at his trickery but I was too far-gone to care any more.

He adeptly released the buttons of my shirt; I reached around him and pulled the back of his shirt out of his pants feeling the soft skin of his solid back as his muscles flexed each time he ground himself against me.

He parted my shirt and kissed his way from my collarbone to my belly, licking and tasting as he hummed and moaned against my skin. His hips had a mind of their own and continued to thrust and grind seeking constant contact with my body.

I pushed him away for a brief second as I pulled his shirt up his chest. He took it off in one smooth move crashing his chest down against mine and writhing against me, the sweat of our bodies comingling.

He pushed my arms above my head leaving me feeling vulnerable as he nuzzled into my armpit breathing deeply.

"You smell amazing." He rubbed his face along my arms moaning lightly as he tasted me.

I was overcome by lust and feeling aggressive turned him over and nipped at his glorious nipples as they hardened under my lingering licks. He tasted delicious. I wanted more. I wanted to nip at every square inch of his skin. I actually growled.

He laughed and bucked up against me

I whimpered as he squeezed my cock through the thin material of my slacks. He fumbled against the buckle of my belt and this time I did not protest. He undid my zipper and pushed my pants past my hips taking me in his hand. Oh…My…God… I needed to feel him.

I pulled at the button of his trousers and had them down to his knees in record time. I pushed his hand away and lay down against him feeling his silky hardness glide against me pushing and thrusting as I sought his mouth.

His hands squeezed my ass pulling me in tightly as he kissed down my chest.

His tongue circled my nipples driving me crazy as he sucked on my nipple ring tugging at it.

I moved against him reveling in the feeling of our two cocks gliding and rubbing erotically moving us towards climax. His noises ran the gamut from soft whimpering sighs to loud groans as he sought his release. I never in my life felt more animalistic than I did at this moment, my entire being concentrated entirely on sensation without editorial comment from my frontal lobe.

He pushed his pants down to his ankles and did the same for me, spreading his legs wider pulling me in then alternately pressing his thighs tightly against my hips as we moved and moaned and licked and nipped and…came.

I lay on top of him completely drained, boneless and totally satisfied. I couldn't help the smile that crept across my face. This was like nothing else I have ever experienced. I wanted more. I wanted Seth.

I moved off him and lay down with one hand remaining on his body, toying with the curls around his now flaccid cock.

"Tell me something about yourself, Seth, for example, how did you come to own this place?"

"Oh, that's a story for another night my dear." He murmured quietly, sounding sleepy.

Mind you, I was enjoying his attentions, but could not free my mind entirely from the strangeness of the situation.

"Your actions put me in mind of a game I used to play as a child." I said idly, stroking his soft curls moving to cradle his balls.

"Dark, Dark?" He said surprising me greatly.

"How would you know about that?" I responded somewhat indignant and feeling at a loss, at a disadvantage, something I wasn't used to.

"I know a lot about you…Jasper," he whispered into my ear. He said my name for the first time tonight. His cock swelled once again. I tingled in anticipation.

"How…?" My brain was protesting and demanding answers.

"Mutual acquaintance…" He hummed as he nuzzled into my neck placing wet kisses down its length, pressing his body into me, moving once more against my obvious arousal ready to go for the second time tonight. I could no longer deny that I was hot for Seth, my delicious mystery man.

"Why…"

"Shush now, you talk too much" He pressed his lips to mine, his tongue darting out requesting that I open my mouth so he could explore me deeply, aggressively.

"Are you toying with me? I whined when I was able to catch a breath.

"Definitely" He whispered lowly. I was lost…

…We remained entwined together on the floor as I regained control of my senses after another powerful orgasm, softly caressing each other everywhere. _His mouth should be enshrined at the Smithsonian_, I mused, laughing at myself. It was surely a national treasure.

He lifted up turning to lie next to me with a loud sigh.

"We should tuck ourselves in it's late." He sat up and pulled his pants back on zipping them up, I did the same searching around the floor for my shirt. I found both and handed his over starting to button up when there was a loud rap on what must be the door.

I flinched at the sudden sound after having only recently been cocooned in quiet whispers.

"Seth?" Came a voice I immediately recognized as James.

"Shit!" He whispered harshly. He stood quickly and moved away from me.

"Come back tomorrow night Jasper, I have to go."

I heard a whoosh and a click; I found myself standing alone in the darkness. _What the hell, secret panels?_ That explains my difficulty finding a way out. I was disappointed we hadn't had the chance to have a conversation, I needed to know what his motivation for tonight was; he left me wondering.

He asked me to return but would I?

I checked my buttons praying they were properly aligned hoping to avoid the embarrassment of explaining why I had removed my shirt. In the inky darkness, it was impossible to tell how I looked.

It occurred to me much too late that I could have used the light from my cell phone to discover my captor's identity or at the very least, get some idea of what he looked like.

Another loud rap interrupted my reverie.

"Seth?"

"No, it's Jasper. I…I can't find my way out." I was beyond humiliated.

"Stand back, Jasper." I heard a click and the door opened. I was engulfed by light. Although it was relatively dim, my deprived senses found it momentarily blinding.

As my vision cleared I noticed a slight indentation at about eye-level to the left of the open panel. That must be the release. I made note in case I needed it for future reference.

James looked at me with a strange expression; somewhere between alarm and amusement. I looked down spying my crumpled jacket and retrieved it sliding it back on.

"I take it you met Seth?"

I ran my hands through my hair feeling slightly sheepish still attempting to straighten my clothing. How do I explain being dragged off caveman style shortly after he last saw me?

"Yes, well we ran into each other here in the hall. He kind of "enticed" me into the room."

"What does he look like?" James asked me skeptically.

"You don't believe me?" I questioned him, unreasonably affronted realizing I couldn't answer his inquiry. I had no idea what Seth looked like. I knew how he felt, his scent but not what he looked like other than recalling what my fingertips told me.

I decided to be honest.

"I didn't actually see his face before me pulled me into the room so I can't tell you what he looks like."

"Good answer. Let's get you out of here and on your way." James genially wrapped an arm around my defeated self and guided me out through the exit I should have left through hours earlier.

It clearly had rained while I was otherwise occupied; the asphalt was wet reflecting the odd phosphorescent lighting in the empty parking lot. I wondered what time it was as a cab approached.

James, still having hold of my arm gave the cabbie my address as he sat me in the back seat.

"Cheers, my dear. Be careful with your heart." He gave me a piercing look before he turned and walked away.

I lolled my head back in the cab reflecting on the night. In one evening my entire life had been shaken to its very foundation. Lights flickered as I was delivered to my destination.

I dragged myself out of the cab, dropping random bills enough to pay the fare. I took the elevator up to my floor unlocked the door and just stood there for a moment.

I fell to my knees my emotions overcoming me…this was for me way more than casual sex. My chest heaved, afraid I would never have another chance at him. Him. Jesus, all I wanted was a minor distraction tonight, instead my entire life had been fractured.

I ached to the point I lost all sense.

Sorry it's a bit short but the transition to the next chapter is just too different to continue here.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for the reviews, they're encouraging! A few are anxious to have Jasper meet Edward which will happen soon, just not in this chapter other than a brief encounter. Here we go!**

**Blind Faith**

**Jasper**

**Chapter 3**

_I fell to my knees my emotions overcoming me…this was for me way more than casual sex. My chest heaved; afraid I would never have another chance at him. …Him... Jesus, all I wanted was a minor distraction tonight; instead my entire life had been fractured._

_I ached to the point I lost all sense._

After a while I picked myself up off the floor and trudged to my bedroom spent physically and emotionally. The encounter with Seth had shaken the world as I knew it until just a few hours ago. What a puzzle he was but oh, what a sensual creature! My inability to gaze upon him only heightened his mystery. I had so many questions for him, that is, if I ever got another chance to be with him. I laughed humorlessly…I had no idea what Seth looked like, but put me in a darkened room and I would surely sniff him out.

He and I discussed nothing of consequence during our short interlude and he gave little up with his vague replies to the few questions I did manage to ask. I wondered; would I feel differently about him if I saw his face? Would I feel this insane draw to seek him out or is it the mystery?

I could tell from what I felt as I roamed his body that he was lean but muscular; he must work out regularly. I imagined what his face might look like; he had a strong jaw and full kissable lips; silky hair a little on the long side and a nice muscular ass. My instincts suggested he was a fine specimen, so why all the hiding? Had we encountered each other without my knowing? I haven't been in Seattle long enough to make an impression on anyone, at least that I was aware of.

I puzzled over his words, why did he say he'd come to know a lot about me, did he mean it literally or just that he knew my "type". How did he know my name, it was almost as though he was expecting me but the only person who knew I was considering going out tonight was Rosalie. Odd, I'll have to ask her about it.

I fully realized I was becoming obsessed with an enigma. Was Seth a puzzle worth solving? I scrubbed my hands over my face drawing them through the mass of tangles otherwise known as hair. It looked like a fright wig.

Grimy and sweaty I decided to shower before hitting the sheets.

I stripped off my clothes unbuttoning my wrinkled shirt slowly as I thought about the evening; God, I could still feel his mouth on me, I could smell him on my hands. I cupped them to my nose and breathed in his scent.

I slipped my shirt off discarding it in the hamper and turned the shower on catching my reflection in the mirror as I did so, looking back at me was a truly sorry sight. I noticed a dark mark near my collar bone; a_ hickey_? When had he done that? He had spent significant time nuzzling and sucking at my neck; the pit of my stomach warmed as I found the thought of him marking me arousing. I liked the idea but hoped the mark wouldn't be too noticeable by Monday, my first day at Cullen and Cullen; my shirt collar should cover it up.

Steam issued from the shower and I hopped in luxuriating at the feeling of the hot water against my tired skin. I braced my hands against the tiles leaning my head forward and allowing the water to beat against my back; I considered the state I was in. A random meeting…although I was beginning to wonder about the randomness of it…James had mentioned my father, I'll need to explore this further; Seth had known facts about me he shouldn't have been privy to.

Seth did ask me to return tomorrow…well technically tonight. I considered whether it was a wise idea, he clearly had issues, that much was certain and I'd only been with him a few hours; is he someone I wanted to invest time and energy in? It had not been enough time to get to know him. I usually read people pretty well, but under the circumstances, that was not possible with Seth.

Just thinking about him had my emotions roiling again but as fascinated as I was with Seth I had no desire to end up in a relationship with a ghost. As I thought about it, I realized the whole situation was bad for me; I was starting a new job in two days and my focus needed to there; I wasn't looking for a relationship but despite that I was battling my strong desire to return to the club right now and search each room for him. Did he live there?

Seth had taken control of my senses; in fact, I was missing and craving his touch, his sounds. I just wanted to grab him and pull him into me…Jesus! I was hard and all I wanted to do was sleep. I need him bad…I can't have him.

I felt a slight change in water temperature so I lathered up and finished the rest of my bath quickly, taking care of my little problem. I'd shave in the morning. I toweled off and scrubbed my hair roughly seeking to remove as much moisture as possible.

I slipped on the pajama pants my housekeeper left on my bed and crawled under the covers hoping against hope I would drift off immediately; it was, after all, four in the morning. My head still buzzed with thoughts of the evening, it took me a good long while to finally get to sleep.

_I dreamed I was in a Hollywood movie and that I was the star of the movie. This really blew my mind…_

I was rudely awakened much too soon for my liking by the sudden removal of my warm comforter. Disoriented and half asleep, I sat up quickly seeking the warmth and sleep I so craved but was met by the lovely, slightly annoying face of my sister, Rosalie.

"Oh, please no…go away" I groaned. It was much too early to talk or be anywhere near human. I blindly sought out my comforter, which she kept just out of my grasp.

"Get your lazy ass up, brother, I'm not going to let you sleep the day away, " she said, with a devious smirk.

"What are you doing here at the crack of dawn and how did you get in? I want my key back," I grumbled.

"It's noon, Jasper, Alice will be here soon and I don't want you lying around half-naked. Get dressed while I make you something to eat…" she paused, looking at me oddly.

"What's that on your neck?"

_Oh shit_. "Nothing, I ran into a door" I smirked telling a bad lie badly, rubbing the back of my neck and crawling off my bed. Clearly I wasn't going to be going back to sleep with Rosalie here. I headed for the bathroom but she intercepted me grabbing me by the shoulders and inspected the mark on my neck.

"It's a hickey! You got some last night," she cried excitedly. "Tell me all about it"

_Right…I don't think so_.

"Maybe later, Rose, I need to shave and get dressed before Alice gets here."

I loved my sister dearly but she had a tendency to be bossy and controlling, I found her occasionally annoying. I put up with it for the most part because she had helped me out in so many ways and supported my decision when I came out to my parents and helped me deal with the emotional consequences of my decision.

She accepted me completely; in some respects it drew us closer; I think she enjoyed having a gay brother to toy with. It seems she had some strange idea about gay men being all about fashion and decorating. I disappointed her greatly. She watches too much TV.

My sister Rose is a well-known television personality; she hosts a popular morning show, "Breaking Dawn in Seattle" primarily a chat fest and promotion vehicle for local merchants and events. Rose has interviewed many of the local political figures and sports stars. She's a striking beauty, drawing the attention of every sentient male within the viewing reach of her show, but she's yet to meet her match. In the interim, she lives to annoy me.

I heard the doorbell ring just as I was pulling my shirt on. Freshly shaved, hair somewhat under control I could now pass for human. I pulled on a loose fitting pair of faded jeans and white button down. I was at least going to be comfortable while Rosalie and Alice made me shop with them. I slipped on loafers, no socks, and headed downstairs to greet Alice and see what Rose had cooked up. It wasn't Alice that I encountered.

I descended to the landing and came across about the last person I expected to see standing just inside the front door. Rose was eyeing me quizzically.

"Jacob!" I exclaimed a little awkwardly. I was at a loss to explain his presence until I noticed he was holding my gray silk jacket. I must have forgotten it when I left the club last night; I hadn't missed it. I wasn't quite sure what to say next, how much did he know about my little encounter with Seth?

He looked down shyly passing the jacket over to me. This was a different Jacob than the one I'd met last night.

"Stay for breakfast!" Rose excitedly exclaimed. Oh no…I think she believes Jacob is hickey man.

"I'd love to!" Jacob responded, winking at me and trailing off after Rose with a toss of his head.

When did I become superfluous to my own life?

I thought about it and decided playing along was safer than telling Rosalie the truth about last night. I doubted Jacob would have any interest in contradicting me. I think…he appears to have become instant best friends with Rose. This could become hazardous to my life. I hang the jacket up in the hall closet pausing for a second.

I'm sure Rose is quizzing him about our non-existent love life and I'm curious as to how he's responding so I delay entering and listen in on their conversation…

"Jasper was standing in line when I just couldn't stand it anymore and asked James, that's my boss, if we could break protocol and let him in the club. He is so gorgeous!" All I knew is Jacob was the one who had pulled me back to the club. Was he really the one who wanted me? I doubted it; I still think it was James at Seth's request. I couldn't deny though that Jacob had flirted with me; I wondered if he wanted more.

"Jasper has been alone for too long…he needs someone like you to make him smile again." I could almost see my sister's incisive gaze as she took the measure of Jacob. Clearly she liked him. Too bad I only saw him as a friend.

"I like him Rosie, I want to make him happy." Okay…maybe the charade has gone too far...I have to act cautiously to avoid hurt feelings.

The front door flew open at the worst possible moment and there stood Alice.

"Jasper!" Her hands were full of shopping bags and she looked at me longingly. I was frozen.

She dropped her bags and ran full on into me squeezing me so tightly I gave a little "ooof". Who knew a pixie could be so strong.

"Are you ready to make magic? I'm so excited you're letting me redo your place…wait until you see the colors; I've got swatches and paint samples and oh! Let's get going we've got so much to do and so little time…"

"Whoa…easy there Alice" I say with a smile as I pry myself loose from her grasp. "Come on and have breakfast with us, I'm starved and I think I'm going to need all my strength to keep up with _you,_ Little One." I take her by the hand as she complains about time being of the essence etc., etc. and lead her into the kitchen.

She comes to a complete stop.

"Is this the guy?" She says looking at my sister.

Rosalie nods her head rapidly…yes! Her eyes are all crinkly with happiness.

"So you really are gay…" Alice sighs and plops herself down at the kitchen table. Alice is truly a gorgeous woman, if a bit hyperactive. I could see myself being into her if I were straight; in any case, I adore her and her incredible zest for life. It amazes me that I've only known Alice the few weeks since I moved to Seattle. She is already such an important part of my life.

"Well nice to meet you too!" Jacob responds with an exaggerated eye roll flicking his long ponytail off his shoulder. Jacob definitely has quite the flair for drama.

Rosalie intervenes before things get out of hand. _Wait…Aren't they already_?

"Alice, this is Jasper's "_friend_" Jacob." Jacob has his arm around my sister's waist. It sure didn't take them long to become "best buds".

Alice glances up at him and let's go with one of her patented sunshiny grins. She holds her tiny hand out for Jacob who takes it into his large hand.

"Well! Are we going to eat or not?" I chime in sitting down next to Alice. Jacob sits across from me as Rosalie sets scrambled eggs, sausage, bacon and hash brown filled platters between us. I get up and bring the carafe of coffee and pitcher of orange juice over to the table.

"So Jacob how did you and Edward meet?" Alice asks as she fills her plate. She grabs mine next and piles eggs and the fixings on it handing it back to me. I'm surprised she didn't unfurl my napkin and place it in my lap in a maternal gesture. Possessive much?

"We met at Seth's Place last night. As I was telling Rosie, he stood out like a beacon calling to me…" Man, he was laying it on thick, going on and on about our fake romance. I'm going to have to take him aside as soon as I can to end this charade. For now I let it slide as he drones on and on. I stop paying attention…

"So is that when you gave him the hickey? Rosalie is such a pervert. She is way too interested in my sex life.

Jacob freezes, staring into his plate. He looks up at me as Rosalie waits expectantly for his answer. I mouth to him, "_Seth_". No one else saw.

"Uh, yeah, somewhere around then…" his mood is subdued. I wonder why, after all, he's was the guy that left me alone with James at the VIP lounge. He knew Seth wanted to meet me; he took me back there. His attitude confuses me. Does he really like me?

"Alright folks we need to get moving if we're going to make it to the shops." Alice takes her plate and mine to the sink and rinses them. Rosalie does the same for Jacob.

Jacob stands and awkwardly rubs his hands down his thighs. I can hear the girls chattering in the kitchen.

"Hey Jacob, do you want to come with us?" He looked so lost I felt bad.

"Sure!" He brightens.

I slap him on the back and pull him aside, moving to the living room leaving Rosalie and Alice to clean up.

"So you and Seth…" he starts.

"Jacob, honestly last night was so weird for me. You of all people should understand." He looks at me with a puzzled expression.

"I know absolutely nothing about Seth, sorry to disappoint you. James collared me and pointed you out. He said Seth wanted you. I've only worked there two weeks so whatever he wanted I did as he asked."

"I don't even know what Seth looks like. I get the impression he's some old fart looking for a quick fuck."

"That is so not the case. The guy is our age, Jacob. I really like him…there is something about him that calls to me."

"What does he look like?' Jacob asked.

"I don't know, it was so dark I never got a good look at him."

"Why do you think he's so wrapped up in cloak and dagger shit?" Jacob asked. I wondered myself.

"I guess he has a big secret."

"Something that could bring him down." Jacob mused. He changes subjects.

"Hey, your sis really likes me…wants me to be the guy for you."

"That's because you're the first gay guy besides me that she's met." I laughed as I heard the dishwasher start up. It's time for us to go.

"We'll talk again later; we have a lot of shit to sort out. Let's get the girls moving."

"Be my friend?" Jacob asks. His sincerity touches me.

"Absolutely, I need a lot of those!" I chuckle as I grab him into a quick hug just as Rosalie and Alice round the corner.

"Oh, they are so cute!" Rosalie sighs. Alice gives me an acid look.

"Are you two ready to go?" Alice says, flouncing out the front door heading to her hideously large SUV.

We leave behind Alice; Rosalie has my key in hand and secures the lock following us down the stairs.

"I want my key back." I hold my hand out.

"Dream on, dear brother, today has been enlightening. I'm thinking of interviewing Jacob on my show."

"Surely you jest…" I say as Jacob claps his hands in excitement…

We spend the better part of the day meandering through antique shops and fabric stores. Jacob is entranced by the choices we are making for my place. I ask him if he approves. He smiles at me and looks back at my sister and Alice.

"They know what they're doing" he sighs. He looks tired. I am as well.

"Hey, can we eat?" I say as I notice the sun has set and the crazy people continue to look at lamps and paintings and fabric and swatches…what the hell is a swatch anyway…? I'm hungry.

Jacob looks up at me from the huddle he's in with the girls.

"Just a few more minutes; make reservations at Damien's" he says, diving back into the fabric mosh pit.

I make the call as I walk outside. The sun is setting in vibrant hues of red and orange and blue. Wispy clouds drift across the colored sky. My heart clenches. I'm happy.

I am as happy as I've been in many months. Rose and Alice are treasures and Jacob I think will be a long- term friend. At least that's what I feel as I reflect on the day. It has been good and people I care about are helping me feather my nest.

Alice's van is packed to the gills with dangerous things I'm certain will end up in my condo. I'm glad we decided to take separate cars.

We head to Damien's one of the best restaurants Seattle has to offer. It's on the water and since the sun has set, we only have ambient light flickering off the waves. The water licks against the pier as we approach the entrance.

I'm holding Jakes hand, which doesn't seem weird to me, I feel close to him. I hope he doesn't expect anything more from me, I think he's figured out we're platonic. He grins as we are directed to our table swinging an arm over my shoulder. We push on each other like idiots behind the girls as we move to our table and settle next to each other laughing.

The restaurant is crowded and noisy, full of life really a pleasant atmosphere befitting my upbeat mood. Rosalie and Alice are chattering non-stop and Jacob is doing his best to get a word in edgewise.

I check my shirt, it's still clean but I have the need to wash my hands, they are grimy from handling objects all day.

"Jake, order for me, I want a Jack, neat, be right back." He nods as I amble off.

The bathroom door swings open as I enter whistling the tune playing over the speakers. I face the single sink and glance up catching my reflection. I feel silly but smile as I think about the day, soaping my hands thoroughly.

I hear the toilet flush and move to finish up, reaching for the paper towels just as an amazing looking specimen exits the stall. He stops abruptly behind me but doesn't say a word, his eyes wide as if in surprise. I catch his eye and he looks away. He is tall as me, lean and muscular. Vivid green eyes I saw only briefly, lush red lips, a riot of bronze hair oh my, time to get back to the folks, I can't monopolize the small sink. I smile and move out of the way accidentally brushing against him.

"Sorry, it's a tight squeeze in here" I chuckle. He gives a little grunt in return but otherwise ignores me so I leave quickly and return to our table just as the waiter appears with our drinks. I scoot in next to Jacob who is in full flirt mode with the waiter. I take a long sip from my drink and watch as that delectable piece of eye candy from the restroom walks by.

"Hey there goes Edward Cullen" hisses Jacob directly into my ear.

"Really…" I follow him with my eyes as he sits at a table across the room next to a gorgeous woman and across from an older couple. He glances towards our table but looks away when he sees me looking in their direction.

"The older couple is Carlisle and Esme Cullen and next to Edward is Tanya, his girlfriend." Oh well, I sigh.

"You'll probably meet Carlisle and Edward on Monday and Edward Senior as well. Edward and Tanya are kind of on again off again, it's a weird relationship." I'm a little taken aback by his extensive knowledge of the Cullen's.

"How do you know so much about them?" I asked.

"I intern there, I guess I didn't mention that, I'm only there a couple of days a week. It's a non-paying internship through the law school so that's why I got the job at Seth's place to help cover my expenses. Edward himself actually suggested I apply there."

"So you're friendly with Edward Cullen?" My curiosity was piqued but I didn't want to appear too interested; Jacob would give me a hard time for crushing on a straight guy.

He snorts, "No one is close to Cullen except maybe Carlisle and Esme, his mom and step-dad slash uncle. I'll explain that one to you sometime; he's a pretty private person. He just happened to overhear me one day and gave me the info. Nice of him though"

"Maybe he's just shy…" Jacob looked at me strangely.

Jacob snorted "Cullen isn't shy; he's a hell of a litigator but kind of a prickly guy."

We watched silently as Edward and his family rose from their table, walked past us and left the restaurant.

He flicked his eyes towards me then away; expressionless, dismissive as he followed his family out of the restaurant. That was the first time I encountered Edward Cullen.

Alice snapped her fingers in my face. "Hey! Where did you go? We've got your place all but designed. We're coming over tomorrow to start measuring…"

"Oh no Alice, I need a day off from all of this Sunday; it is a day of rest after all. I need some alone time."

"No way buddy; we'll see you at 9:00 tomorrow my sister chimed in" I sigh. At least I'll get breakfast out of it. Jacob wants to come over as well to help. So much for alone time.

I pay the bill and we make our way out of the restaurant. Alice and Rosalie take off in the van as Jacob and I make our way to my car. I see Edward Cullen and his girlfriend Tanya up ahead; he pecks her cheek and opens the driver's side door to help her in. She drives off as Edward crosses to another car, holy cow, an Aston Martin Vanquish! The lights blink as he unlocks his car and drives off as well. We're far enough back as to have been unobserved.

I drop Jacob off at his place and head home tired but pretty happy about the day.

I unlock my front door and enter just as my phone buzzes. I lock up and go straight to my bedroom intending to shower and sleep. My phone buzzes again I check figuring it's probably Alice but I don't recognize the number.

"_Are you coming tonight?_

_Seth_


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks for the lovely reviews. More is revealed in this chapter, including the worst kept secret. As always, Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight; I own the story content, don't copy or translate

* * *

**Blind Faith**

**Jasper**

**Chapter 4**

"_Are you coming tonight?_

_Seth"_

_

* * *

_

I stood stock-still and wondered what my next steps should be. I was exhausted and ready to head for bed after a shower but Seth beckoned to me. I wanted to be with him but it was so late. Could it be a satisfying encounter? What was he expecting?

I stared at my phone as it buzzed again.

"_I've sent a car for you, please come see me..._

_Seth"_

I'm at a loss. I respond.

"_**Seth, it's pretty late, I'm sure you're tired as well. Let's make plans for tomorrow…**_

_**Jasper"**_

I trudge up the stairs to my bedroom slowly peeling off my clothes once I reach the threshold. My phone buzzed. I was tempted to ignore it but not if it was Seth.

"_The car is downstairs waiting for you. It will wait as long as you need. Come to me tonight, it will be a while before we can touch each other again…_

_Seth"_

His words made me ache for him.

"_**Seth, I need to bathe it's been a long day, send your car away, we'll talk tomorrow…**_

_**Jasper."**_

I didn't know where my mind was just then. I wanted him but it just seemed so…impractical…he had a car waiting for me?

"_Bathe, but come to me tonight. I miss you…_

_Seth"_

He made me afraid. Could I lose him?

"_**Seth, I'm coming to you…**_

_**Jasper."**_

I showered in record time; dressing quickly in comfortable jeans, t-shirt and a soft flannel. I paused; should I be in slacks and a dress shirt…screw it; he's not going to see me in any case!

I tripped down the stairs stopping at the front door to slip on my loafers and put on my leather jacket checking to see if the key fob for the club entrance was in the pocket; it was.

I spotted the car waiting for me out front of my place, its lights blinking, as I locked up.

I had no idea how long the chauffeur had waited for me so I hurried over and knocked on the passenger side window. The lock clicked open and I sat down in back sinking into the plush cushions.

The car was comfortably warm and inviting moving smoothly as it slid down the street; outside sound muffled, soft unidentifiable music quietly playing.

The chauffeur made no comment and I did not speak; I was lost in thought anticipating being with Seth again.

There was a certain aspect of this that was like being drawn inexorably into a deep current against one's better judgment aware that only something bad could result.

I seem to not be in my right mind as here I am returning to the lion's den.

I was as titillated by the mystery of Seth as I was by the sexual aspect of our previous night's tryst. He was sensual and his touch was exciting; I hungered to feel it again.

Why he hid his identity he had not divulged although I had my suspicions; he was secretive and a puzzle to be solved.

I was looking for clues tonight to discover what made my secret lover tick.

Eventually he would have to reveal himself; I was not going to continue a clandestine, closeted relationship under any circumstances.

If he chose not to be honest with me then we would be over…I think.

I carefully considered that I had only been with Seth one time and yet my entire concept of relationships had been shaken.

I was like an addict, waiting for my next fix of sex and thrills and mystery albeit, somewhat reluctantly.

I needed to take stock: rationally this was unhealthy but here I was going to him. Could I end it when the time came?

It was near eleven o'clock on a Saturday night when I arrived at Seth's Place. The chauffeur turned sharply and drove down the alley to the back entrance stopping directly in front of the dimly lit door.

He opened the window between us for the first time and handed me a card.

"Call this number when you're ready for me" he said quietly. I glanced at it before pocketing the card noting that all it contained was a telephone number. I did not bring my cell phone I realize now so I would need to figure out how to reach him when the time came.

I stepped out into the artificial light, the buzz from the overhead streetlights the only sound as I watched the car pull away. I fished the key fob out of my pocket and placed on the keypad. There was a click, I pulled the door open and went inside.

…

The hallway was empty of people; I heard light music and conversation emanating from the private bar. I walked towards the bar passing the room that Seth had pulled me into last night.

I slowed and wondered whether I should open the door and walk in. Something told me that would be a very bad idea.

I continued to the bar, deciding to wait there for Seth.

I had no idea how he was going to retrieve, sneak up or otherwise tackle me so a drink to ease my nervous anticipatory tension and exhaustion sounded like just the thing.

Victoria was at the bar smiling at me as I strode in, much more at ease than I had been last night. The crowd was thin; I recognized no one. James was absent as well.

"Slow night?" I said as I stepped up to the bar. "How about a scotch, no ice"

"Hi cutie, yes, it has been slow remarkably so; there's normally a lively crowd here on Saturdays. I'm surprised that I haven't seen James either." She finished pouring my drink and pushed it towards me.

"Thanks, Vic"

I smiled back at her and took my drink to one of the far tables plopping down and thinking coming here might have been a mistake, uncertain as I was about Seth's intentions and my ambivalence about the whole situation.

The scotch was smooth and warmed my insides; I slowly relaxed and stretched my legs out deciding maybe I would just catch 40 winks and leave, I was that tired.

Tonight seemed to have no point.

The oversized chair was soft and deep with a back high enough for me to rest my head back comfortably. I was having a hard time keeping my eyes open so I set my drink down on the side table to avoid any accidental spillage if I happened to drift off.

I put my hands behind my head lulled by the quiet music and scotch and thought about how remarkable the last 24 hours had been. I closed my eyes, smiling at the crazy yet lovely people I had met.

When I decided to move to Seattle, I knew I was leaving behind the security of a network of friends that I had built over the years I'd been in Texas.

I was very concerned I'd be the lonely odd man out, gay but with no social outlet other than the club scene. I figured it would be months before I could build a new network of friends. I expected that connections from my new job at Cullen might be the catalyst for new friendships.

I didn't want to depend on Rosalie for all of my social connections.

Yet, in the last 24 hours, less than two weeks since I had arrived there was Alice, a force of nature, designer extraordinaire who incidentally had a crush on me and best friend to my sister; the lovely Jacob who I'm sure would eventually be a close confidant if he wasn't already; Emmett, a surprise but definitely a friend I hoped would be around for the long term.

A circle of friends was blooming sooner than I had expected.

And then there was Seth, I could love him; of that I was certain. I had no idea what he looked like…but I knew…he would be spectacular.

I downed the rest of my drink and idly mused on how happy I was. This move with all the complications was good for me.

I was lifted into a reverie by the soft music and pleasant thoughts. I started to curl into myself and settle into sleep…

"Hey screw-up you forget where you live?"

A familiar figure entered the bar laden with trays of clean glasses. He winked at me as he passed behind the bar stopping to deposit the trays on the shelving behind the bar.

The place was empty, save Jacob and me. I must have dozed off for a while.

Jacob came back around, wiping down each vacated table as he approached me.

He slapped the towel over his shoulder and sat in the empty chair next to me.

"I can't stay long, I'm on the clock but why are you here? Is it Seth?" he whispered, making motions as he cleaned around me.

"I'm waiting on him, I'm afraid he's not going to make it so I'm leaving if he doesn't show up in the next few…"

"He never doesn't show unless he wants to blow you off; don't let him use you Jasper…" Jacob sighed harshly, eyeing me regretfully.

"You'd be better off heading out now and forgetting his ass…"

"Jake, how do you know so much about Seth? What does he…"

"Jasper!" James appears at this most inopportune moment.

Jacob moves away from me wiping down tables, gathering and depositing trash.

"Seth has been unavoidably detained, he sends his regrets and will see you soon." Abruptly he moves away leaving me at a loss. James was angry.

Jacob loops back towards me, planting a soft kiss on my cheek;

"Querido, go home; this man is no good for you, he will eat you alive."

"Jake, can you give me a ride to my place?" I sigh. I don't want to take the damn limo home.

"When do you want to leave?" he whispers, afraid to be overheard

"Meet me at the back entrance in fifteen; I gotta find a bathroom and piss. If I don't show, call me tomorrow. If I don't answer call out the troops! I laugh, as I hug him to me and kiss his brow.

"I'll see you at your place tomorrow in any case" he growls lowly. I walk away as I feel him watch me disappear from view.

I finish my business and move back to my comfy chair in the bar giving Jake a few minutes to clock out before I go to meet him…I am so cozy I don't want to move…I drift off...

….

I am jostled awake, my eyes can't penetrate the velvet black.

"Uhhh, it's not time to get up yet. Jake, let me be…"

"I'm not Jake!" a sultry voice whispers sharply, breathing heavily as if he'd run a marathon.

I am blanketed by a welcome presence; he climbs over my body kissing me caressing every inch of me. He presses himself against me urgently gripping my hips as if I've forgotten him…not very damn likely…as if he wants to bury himself in me… He's a little sweaty.

I grasp him to my chest nuzzling into his neck, breathing him in as he straddles my lap, quiet whimpers escaping his lips as he kisses my face.

He starts moving slowly, slowly; I harden in response to his gentle thrusts but in a sleepy non-sexual way; it reminds me of when I was a kid, holding my dick for comfort, not release...

I enfold him in my arms and rock against him humming lightly as he sighs into my shoulder. He kisses up my neck to my face, gentle pecks ending against my lips.

His tongue probes my mouth as I open and he presses in languorously against me and I push back, wet sweeps against his lips and tongue; hot breath mingling with his, half asleep I feel myself smiling at the pleasure.

He rocks gently against me as I move my hands on his back, up and down in long slow caresses as we kiss; long, slow, deep kisses.

He rests his head against my chest finally, his hair tickling my nose. I stroke his head gently, my fingers threading through his long silky locks.

I thrust up meeting his movements, drowsy with sleep, wanting nothing more than to curl up with him and descend back into blessed unconsciousness.

He is in a dress shirt and tie; his sleeves are rolled up above his elbows. I pass my hand over his ass, slacks and belt…he must have come straight from work…late night I muse as I rock my mystery man.

It's Saturday, I wonder sleepily. He must have one hell of a job. I stroke his back and shoulders pressing my fingers into the muscles there; feeling him relax deeply from my touch, releasing pent up tension.

We hold each other, no words exchanged but I feel like I'm home. I sigh deeply as I feel him still and grow heavy against me.

I lean forward and kiss his cheek then rest my head back against the cozy chair.

_I am in heaven_…It's my last conscious thought.

…

**Seth**

_I lay my head against Jasper's chest nuzzling into the soft fabric of his flannel clutching him to me afraid he'll disappear if I let go._

_This is where I want to be; with him pressed close; his hot breath washes across my face, I breathe him in…delicious._

_He is rubbing my back, humming to me; I am so comforted by his touch, his softly hums as he rocks me gently soothing my fractured soul._

_If only…_

_I was so fucking upset, concerned that he would leave after I called and spoke, no, yelled at James. _

_My fucking job is going to kill me; I couldn't leave, on a Saturday, no less, I get called in late in the evening after I had returned from dinner and just after I'd finally convinced Jasper to meet me._

_I had to plead with James to make sure Jasper stayed; I needed him tonight. _

_James was pissed, said I had no right to play with Jasper and toy with his emotions. I didn't care what he said right now. I fucking screamed at him._

"_No Seth, I'm telling him you aren't going to make it." James said sharply. _

_I should fire his ass for insubordination…I can't fire his ass; I need him…damn!_

_After the day I'd had seeing him but not being able to touch him, I begged Jasper to come to me and like an asshole I leave him waiting without an explanation._

_He didn't answer my texts and I grew worried about my boy._

_My boy…_

_I called James again, I "calmly" inquired as to Jasper's whereabouts gripping at my hair to maintain civility._

"_He's still here, Seth. He knows you aren't going to make it. Looks like Jacob's going to take him home; he doesn't want to use the car."_

"_Leave him be, Seth; Jacob would be better for him."_

_Oh hell, no way that's fucking happening! I slam the phone back in its cradle and sprint out of my office down the hall before anyone can stop me. _

_I stop at the elevator pressing the button repeatedly urging it to speed up. Unable to endure the wait I take the stairs; it's only two flights._

_The car that Jasper doesn't want is waiting at the curb and I urge Carl to break all speed limits to get me back to the club. _

_I fling the door open before the car comes to a complete stop stumbling slightly in my haste to get to Jasper. _

_No way is Jacob touching him again. He's way too "handsy" for my liking._

_I notice another car turning into the alley; I do not want to be seen so I dig hurriedly in my pocket for the key fob._

_I press the fob against the keypad and push against the door sprinting down the hall…I stop, look around, confused…where is he? Did he leave already?_

_I'm huffing from exertion and anxiety…it's so quiet and I remember suddenly that I need to be careful._

_I switch off the hall light and am plunged into darkness save for the dim light issuing from the bar._

_I walk stealthily towards the open door and pause outside. Has he gone?_

_I hear a soft sigh and hazard a peek around the entrance…_

_There he is, my angel, head turned away from me, arms thrown back behind his head, legs splayed out before him. His golden curls lay in disarray a halo framing his face._

_His soft blue plaid flannel lies open over a white t-shirt, which is slightly pushed up revealing a sliver of abdomen and a little golden fuzz at the juncture of his faded jeans._

_He is so beautiful in repose, his lips parted, his eyes closed, cheeks slightly flushed probably due to the contents of the empty glass resting on the side table._

_His light snores make me smile. My chest aches as I take one last look memorizing his face before I shut off the light._

_If only…_

_He looked so gorgeous tonight at Damien's, laughing and joking with his friends._

_I seethed as I watched fucking Jacob grope him while I sat across the room next to my soon-to-be fiancée, Tanya. How fucked up is my life? You have no idea…_

_I had to endure the sight of them holding hands…how I longed to be able to touch him casually like that…it should be me, not Jacob._

_I avoided his curious glances at our table but it was hard to keep my eyes off him. _

_I couldn't stand it as I left, feeling insanely jealous and angry, as if Jasper should have known…right, how stupid is that? I looked at him, his eyes meeting mine, blue orbs dancing, a smile on his face that faded when it encountered my grim countenance._

_I knew I had to see him tonight._

_If only…_

_The first time I saw Jasper my world spun off it's axis._

_Jasper was here from Texas, I learned, interviewing with the firm; there were three or four candidates for the one opening all equally qualified._

_I was coming around the corner laden with files and headed for my office when we nearly collided. He gripped my arm to keep me from falling, apologizing for not watching where he was going. He walked away with Bella towards "Personnel" but paused and turned slightly smiling and gave a small salute._

_I was done for._

_He was stunning in his charcoal grey pinstripe suit filling every bit of it perfectly. Tall and lean, his hair shorter than it is now, combed into submission. I instantly wanted him; needed to get to know him._

_I lobbied hard. I argued that his youth and the fact that he was an openly gay man made him the perfect candidate consistent with our diversity initiative._

_The firm could have cared less about his orientation; his resume spoke volumes and he came highly recommended. I probably worked harder than I needed to ensure he was hired but I wanted to leave nothing to chance..._

_What a hypocrite I am! I am so deeply closeted I forget my own name! I could do to learn a few lessons from one Jasper Whitlock._

_He returned for a second interview whereupon he was offered the position. He tentatively accepted saying he was going to take some time and think it over. Those few days were agonizing as was the six-week wait before he arrived in Seattle._

_Now he's here about to start on Monday…how will I handle seeing Jasper every day but not be able to touch him? Probably very badly I suspect._

_I won't be able to see him as Seth either, I'm not confident in my ability to keep my stories straight. Seeing him in the office will have to be enough for now._

_If only…_

_I wanted desperately to see Jasper before he started at the firm so I concocted a scheme with James' assistance to lure him to Seth's Place._

_I believe I lost my mind when I saw him through the 2-way mirror laughing it up with Emmett, my stepbrother, putting back a few drinks. I needed to touch him if only for a moment._

_I was jealous and angry; I have no one to blame but me for the predicament I find myself in; too much of a coward to come out to my family afraid at what my father, Ed Senior's reaction would be._

_I resented the bastard but he held so much sway it made me weak._

_As I relive last night, I'm equally as embarrassed at the lengths that I went through to "capture" Jasper as grateful that I'm such an idiot. He wildly exceeded my expectations, his body a magical treasure that I wanted to indulge in again and again._

_God, I'm in so much pain, I'm tired and I need a little bit of his strength._

_Finally I enter the bar closing and locking the door behind me, cringing at the click._

_My entire body aches to touch Jasper; I'm overcome with emotion at his nearness. I'm slightly out of breath; sweaty from the lengths I went through to get to him._

_I give in and rush to Jasper, crawling up his body and breathing him in. He twitches, his arms dropping down on my shoulders as I nuzzle into his neck._

"_Uhhh… it's not time to get up yet. Jake, let me be…" he groans._

"_I'm not Jake!" I hiss I his ear, angry that his name rolls off Jasper's lips._

_He starts and his head lifts._

"_Seth" he breathes as he wraps his arms tightly around me moving his hips against me rocking me gently._

_I can't get close enough to Jasper; I press against his groin trying to weld myself to him straddling his hips._

_He begins to hum a lullaby crooning to me as he rocks me back and forth stroking my back. I can tell he's tired, he told me so and still I selfishly dragged him out of his home._

_I kiss his neck, moving upwards seeking those luscious lips of his. When our lips brush, I enter an alternate universe where only we exist._

_I caress his tongue with mine, we languorously move against each other in our exhaustion._

_My eyes droop and I can barely move, but I'm here with my boy. I press my head into his chest nestling into his soft flannel, breathing in his scent._

_I must have slept for an hour or so when I awake and find that Jasper is deeply asleep, still cradling me._

_I love this man, the realization overwhelms me and tears begin to quietly flow. I hold on to him for a few more minutes but our time is short. I need to leave before he wakes up. _

_The next time I see him will be under completely different circumstances._

…

* * *

**Hope you liked it!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks for your feedback. Our boys are in pain. Can they make it all right?**

**Blind Faith**

**Edward**

**Chapter 5**

_I love this man, the realization overwhelms me and tears begin to quietly flow. I hold on to him for a few more minutes but our time is short. I need to leave before he wakes up._

_The next time I see him will be under completely different circumstances._

_

* * *

_

Time stood still for those few brief hours that we lay cuddled together…in a bar of all places. Jasper's neck was soft and inviting; I brushed my lips on his skin gently back and forth tasting him seeking comfort and acceptance. So much of the rest of my life was hard and cold.

The time for me to leave him arrived, I realize drowsily. Sighing, I unwind myself from his warm limbs. As much as I would like to sink into him forever, it's just not in the cards. My heart is ripped to shreds, ruing the day he walked into my life. Since that electric moment my whole conception of attraction, of the potential to really love someone has been blown wide open.

What a sad case I am!

Denying my true nature was such an ingrained part of me that I stuffed the attraction that I felt for men so deep no one could doubt that I was a straight man. I did not want to be gay, I couldn't accept myself. I just wanted to be a normal guy; work, get married, have kids. A pretty conventional fellow, I took the path that would make my parents proud; going to law school and joining the firm upon graduation. I knew I had the stuff to make it big; I had the cutthroat instinct in the courtroom and the guts to take down large companies those that cut corners and broke rules causing damage to my clients, in some cases, irreparably.

For my efforts, I was rewarded handsomely living lavishly and enjoying all of the creature comforts available from the wealth I had accumulated. While I had the good fortune to be born into an extremely well off family, I needed the satisfaction of paying my own way not needing to depend on the family fortune.

I went so far as to have a girlfriend, Tanya who is a truly wonderful person and I love her with deep affection. We've known each other since childhood and are privy to all of each other's secrets save for one. Tanya has always loved me so falling into a relationship with her was easy and comfortable if passionless. I wondered at times what she got from our relationship but she seemed to be happy. Sex was infrequent and from my perspective unsatisfying. Tanya did not seem to care whether we had sex or not.

Over the years Tanya had become close to my parents; my father adored her and clearly approved of our relationship but it was with my mother, Esme that she had bonded, especially after the affair was exposed and my parent's were divorced. They were as close as mother and daughter; it seemed to natural to take the next step and ask her to be my wife. She readily accepted.

I realize in retrospect that I had painted myself into a corner and began doubting the wisdom of marrying Tanya even before I knew Jasper existed. The problem was that I had been deeply affected by my parent's divorce, the fact that my father, Edward Senior had cheated on my mother causing her so much pain. I did not want to marry Tanya only to engage in similar behavior and have our union follow the same course especially if we had children. There was no way I could live with myself if I were to cause Tanya any pain; she was just too special to me.

There is little doubt that if I had told my parents I was gay before we announced our engagement they would have accepted it and we would have moved on. The fact that I was a coward unable to accept myself put me in the position I am in.

Tanya deserved better than a closeted gay man. I suppose I could be moderately happy with her, our life would be full and she knows me better than most, my quirks, my foibles. I would do my best to do right by her if we do marry. I take the wedding commitment seriously regardless and she deserves a faithful partner. My only hope is that somehow we don't marry but that would have to be her decision; I was resigned to my existence.

All of this began to lose meaning for me when I could no longer resist the allure of a man, of Jasper.

I had to have him.

I had lost my mind.

He was so beautiful and he was here, so close and so irresistible.

He was out and so comfortable in his own skin.

I wanted to be him.

Regardless of the consequences, I gave in to my desire for once. The plan I hatched was ludicrous on its face; I contacted James of Seth's Place. The dirty little secret is that there are a lot of "Seths"; closeted men like me who want anonymous hook ups to satisfy a pent up need. I was a different kind of "member" one with enough influence and pull to be able to actualize my desires.

I knew about Seth's place from Emmett, my stepbrother; Carlisle's adopted son. Emmett was a member and said it was kind of a gentlemen's club with a gay slant but that many straight men joined to avoid the hordes of horny women at the straight bars, especially the sports players with wives and families. Emmett played for the Seattle Seahawks and didn't want the distraction during the season but enjoyed the camaraderie of a night out. The men at Seth's Place were much more discreet than average. Emmett had no idea I would act on this knowledge for my own benefit.

Unlike most hook ups, Jasper could not know who I was given that he was a soon to be new associate of the firm. The HR rules I violated if I was ever found out could ruin the firm not to mention the lives that would be destroyed by my being "outed".

I was treading dangerous territory.

I don't think James anticipated my desire for this man and the urgency I felt to touch him. Truthfully, I was a bit of a pervert where Jasper was concerned. James sensed immediately that my desire for Jasper was strong and dangerous. He warned me off but I was not to be dissuaded.

The lengths I went through to get to Jasper I regret, I'm really not like that; I think most people would consider me a rather humorless prick, all business. I guess that's what happens when you try to live a lie. Despite it all it was worth it to touch him once he calmed down.

His silky skin against mine was so perfect, his thighs sliding against me, his cock hardening seeking release against me urgently.

One last kiss, before I leave him unsure when or if I'll ever be with Jasper again, elicits a soft sigh from my angel as he pulls me in close.

I wrest myself from his embrace wanting nothing more than to sink back in to his warmth. His t-shirt is slightly damp from my tears.

Anger seeps through my pores that my fucked up life circumstances are keeping me separated from the object of my desire. It's all on me, though, my unhappiness is my own doing.

Lingering, I caress his cheek and trace his lips one last time then I leave quickly before I change my mind.

**Jasper**

The soft click of the door closing brought me out of my slumber along with the chill I felt from the absence of Seth. My shirt was damp; did he drool on me? He'd just left…I'd give him time to depart before I followed.

I yawned loudly into the darkness stretching my cramped muscles; wondering what time it was. It had to be four or five in the morning and while I must have slept a few hours, getting back home to my place gained urgency realizing that the horde would be descending again this morning. Rosalie aided and abetted by Alice and Jacob had taken control of my life. I needed to grab a few more hours of sleep before I faced them and their decorating frenzy.

How was I going to get home? Was there anyone here from whom I could borrow a phone? I stumbled around in the darkness in the general direction of the door feeling around for the handle. Luck was on my side and I let myself out into the dimly lit hall.

All I needed was to call a cab so I headed towards the main bar hoping there was a public phone I could use. As I approached, the door opened and there stood James looking grim and unhappy.

"Jasper, the car will be back here in a few minutes to take you home. You can relax in the bar."

"That's okay James, I'll wait outside. I'm anxious to get back."

I gave him a small wave and turned to the rear exit.

"I'll walk with you." I waited for him and we walked slowly down the hall side by side. James intrigued me…he seemed to care an awful lot about my well being but not Seth. In fact, he seemed highly annoyed with him. We reached the exit whereupon he placed his hand on my shoulder.

"Be careful, Jasper, Seth is not available and I don't want to see you hurt."

His concern was evident; I was afraid as well sensing my feelings for Seth grow especially after spending time curled up together tonight. It was so domestic. Regardless, James was right, I did need to be careful especially if our liaison could not end well and this thing between us did not feel casual. It made sense to meet with Seth one more time and see whether he could be honest with me. If not, we would not continue as painful as that might be.

The door swung open and there was a small red car, a VW Rabbit, the driver reclined and slumbering. I looked over a James who came to stand by me, concerned.

"Oh, that's Jacob; why is he here?" James said, slightly confused at his presence. I remembered asking Jacob for a ride but assumed he would have left after I didn't appear within a reasonable amount of time.

"I asked him for a ride. Call off your car, I'll leave with Jake if I can wake him." I smiled back at James who appeared happy at my response.

"Excellent choice, Jasper, Jacob is a fine man." He smiled, crossing his arms across his chest, pleased with himself. I was puzzled by his smug response but it reinforced in my mind that he was not a fan of Seth.

"Goodbye James, I need to get sleepyhead up." I gave him a wave as I walked to the driver's side door; James retreated back into the club. I opened the door and Jacob startled ready to pounce at me.

"Hey, it's me; I can't believe you waited all this time!" Jacob relaxed back into his seat yawned and stretched his arms out turning to look at me. He smiled slightly and rolled his eyes.

"I really didn't intend to wait this long, I was tired and must have drifted off, good thing for you, my man! Get in the car, let's get you home." Jacob started up his car; it rumbled to life gasping and chugging as he threw it into reverse. We turned right out of the alley headed back to my place. I hazarded a quick glance at Jake. His beautiful face was gleaming a slight smile on his countenance. He was really a good friend, I thought as I drifted off to sleep.

**James**

I retreated back into the club; this had been a long and exhausting night, Seth on a tear, demanding that I let him have access to Jasper; innocent that he was in my mind, at least he needed to be protected from a dishonest man.

My cell phone rang just after I left him in the capable hands of Jacob.

"James speaking"

"James, has Jasper left yet? I want to make sure he gets home safely."

"Yes, Seth, he left with Jacob. Leave him be Seth, I'm warning you." I was tired of this controlling man using his wealth and position to compromise a wonderful young fellow. Jasper deserved better, in my mind.

"Fuck! Why Jacob? Why didn't you insist he take the car?"

"I think you have a misunderstanding of my role here, Seth. I am not here to do your bidding and with that, goodnight" I was furious hoping it would be a while before I encountered him again.

**Jasper**

I awoke as the car shuddered to a stop in front of my place. I looked over at Jacob; he was exhausted.

"Jake, stay here tonight, I have the extra room. I don't want to chance you driving any more. Besides, you'll be coming over in any case…the decorating madness and all…" I appealed to him and he looked back at me in a way that made me a little uncomfortable. I ignored the feeling and opened the car door, motioning for him to follow me in which he did.

I let Jacob in and showed him to the guest room giving him a pair of sleep pants and t-shirt, probably too small, but oh, well.

I was beyond exhausted and tossed myself onto my bed not bothering to get undressed descending into the deepest sleepless slumber I could recall.

In what seemed like an incredibly short interval, I was assaulted by a wall of girlie noise; women jumping on my bed and pulling my warm covers off. Yes, I have lost all control over my life. I was pulled up and out and shoved towards my shower.

"Hurry up! Alice is making breakfast so you'll get something in your skinny self…I see Jacob spent the night eh...We need to talk…shower first!" Rose pushed me in throwing a towel in after me. I need to learn to set limits.

I toweled off and dressed quickly putting on my most comfortable jeans and a loose t-shirt. I was in for a long day, I sensed. I combed through my riot of curls making myself as presentable as possible descending the stairs to the kitchen in record time.

Awaiting me looking more alive than I felt were Rosalie, Alice and Jacob. I briefly met Jacob's eye and he gave a brief smile looking down at his plate. Huh? Had he said something to Rose about where I was last night? I'd kill him if he did. I plopped down beside him and gave him the eye. He looked back at me; eyebrows raised and signaled that his lips were sealed. Good.

"So what were you two up to last night?" Rosalie questioned.

"We went to Seth's Place, I'm sure you've heard of it" Jacob answered. "I work there which is how we met. Remember Rosie; I think I told you. Jasper needed a ride home and it was late so I just hung in knowing you two devils would get here early" Jacob winked at Rose and dug into his eggs avoiding any further questions. I gulped my coffee not particularly hungry; thoughts of Seth drifting through my consciousness.

"Oh yes, Emmett McCarty mentioned it to me which is how I came to tell Jasper to check it out." Rose said, not realizing the impact her tossed off comment had on me.

"You know Emmett?" I said, amazed, I shouldn't have been.

"Of course!" I interviewed him for the show last week…her eyes grew dreamy…Uh Oh…"He's so…" she sighed. Good God! She has no idea he's gay! Should I say something?

"Anyway, we got to talking on a break about brothers, sisters, gay, straight and he mentioned the club at Seth's place as the perfect place for a new guy to make friends." She tossed her hair, momentarily lost in thought, a slight smile on het lips. I need to talk to Emmett.

"Hey people!" Alice piped up startling us out of our reverie, "Let's get cracking! We're starting with the bedrooms, you boys clean up the dishes and catch up with us. On second thought, Jacob, get the paint ready; we'll do that first, Jasper, you can do kitchen clean up.

I was glad for the time alone to gather my thoughts. Furniture was being moved and repositioned judging by the noise and laughter I heard emanating from upstairs. I slowly filled the sink watching the suds bubble up thinking of Seth and the futility of our relationship such as it was. I scrubbed the plates and glasses, rinsed and stacked everything in the drainer.

My phone buzzed in my back pocket. I hurriedly wiped my wet hands and retrieved it. The text was from Seth:

"_**I'll miss you…**_

_**Seth"**_

Oh no you don't get off that easy…

"_I need to see you one more time, a goodbye if this is the end…you owe me…and not at the club._

_Jasper"_

It took a few minutes for him to respond; I found I was pacing my kitchen when the phone I was staring at buzzed once again.

"_**Okay, Seattle Museum of Modern Art, one hour before closing time at eight tomorrow night. Buy a ticket and head back to the Pollock exhibit. I'll find you…**_

_**Seth"**_

I was conflicted but happy that I would encounter him one last time; we would have closure of sorts.

I heard my name being bellowed from above so I quickly finished my kitchen cleanup and headed upstairs to aid the wild ones.

We spent the rest of the day painting and wallpapering arranging my few furnishings to make room for what Alice had ordered delivered in the next week. I was beyond tired; my first day at Cullen & Cullen tomorrow shouldn't be to trying followed by my last rendezvous with Seth at the museum.

I fell into my bed after saying goodbye to all and setting the alarm for an early wakeup.


	6. Chapter 6

**Blind Faith**

**Jasper**

**Chapter 6**

_We spent the rest of the day painting and wallpapering arranging my few furnishings to make room for what Alice had ordered delivered in the next week. I was beyond tired; my first day at Cullen & Cullen tomorrow shouldn't be too trying followed by my last rendezvous with Seth at the museum._

_I fell into my bed after saying goodbye to all and setting the alarm for an early wakeup._

_

* * *

_

I found myself suddenly awake in my dark bedroom, the moonlight, filtering through the blinds, leaving horizontal patterns across my bed. I sat up on my elbows listening for a noise, some reason I was awake in the middle of the night. I looked over at my alarm noting it was after one o'clock in the morning. My stomach was in knots, waves of anxiety crawled over me; I tossed my covers aside and sat up on the edge of my bed head in hands. I sighed deeply; searching vainly for my source of comfort…it was gone.

Actually, he was gone, my first night in three not spent enfolded in Seth's arms. There was no one to hold me or for me to embrace…I missed his warmth regardless of how bizarre our situation was.

I stood and approached the window looking through the slats of the blinds at the yard outside, my arms braced on the frame, waiting for God knows what to soothe my soul. The yard was empty, lit only by moonlight; a collection of colorless shades of grey, an almost unreal replication of grass, lawn furniture and scattered plants that I know I would recognize by day but that seemed possessed by some life-force by night. What was I expecting to or, better, who was I looking for in the depth of the night? My hunger was intense seeking satiation, completion; fulfillment.

Where was my man? I was hollow. This was ridiculous; I'd known him all of two days.

Seth…

I would "see" him tomorrow at least. I planned to challenge him to be open and honest with me…what did I want from him? The reality is that I don't know anything about Seth other than that I want more than a faceless anonymous encounter. His hunger for me was strong, his emotions deep; it was obvious in the way he clung to me last night. There was something more between us than a casual albeit strange hook up; I wanted to explore every aspect of Seth, to know the man in every way possible. My fear was that Seth would not reveal himself to me and that he would remain an elusive mystery and I realized if that was the case, we should end our association tonight otherwise, I was in danger of falling in love with him…

…The last thing I wanted when I moved from Texas was to fall quickly into a relationship. Left behind along with a string of memories were the broken remnants of a failed love affair that began in law school and ended just months before I arrived in Seattle. I was still raw from the way Peter and I ended up. Although I knew we had been rocky for at least a year, I could not foresee the ramifications of our breakup. I thought engrossing myself in my law career would allow us to drift apart amicably able to remain friends; permit us to move on with our lives as separate people but Peter had different ideas.

I first met Peter my last year of law school. I was not out yet to my family but was with my friends. I'd had a few random hook ups but no relationship to speak of and I was tired of the club scene, looking for something more stable. We met at a seminar on campus and a friendship quickly bloomed as were both teamed together on a project; I don't think I was immediately drawn to Peter but as we spent more and more time together I began to find his warm personality engaging. He was easy to be with and not hard to look at either. I discovered he was gay one night when a group of us decided to go for beer after a particularly boring session.

Peter wasn't effeminate in any way, neither was I; that night, both of us had a bit too much to drink and ended up sharing a cab back to my apartment. I suggested he stay over rather than incur the additional cab fare. I fell into a drunken slumber almost immediately and Peter who had started out on the couch somehow made his way to my bed. Suffice it to say I awoke to him pleasuring me and thus began our relationship.

We were together for almost three years although we never lived together, the last year of which could barely be described as a relationship. I had fallen out of love with him by then unhappy with his quirks which had become highly annoying. I endured our get togethers for the relief it provided but even that was becoming harder to sustain. It was difficult to be around Peter when he criticized everything and everyone and never seemed to be happy. We worked for different law firms and while I was fairly happy and extremely busy he constantly complained about being passed over and being assigned the least attractive cases. In my mind, it was no wonder given his less than stellar personality.

At some point that last year I noticed that Peter rarely entered my thoughts; I would become irritated when he called. I began avoiding his calls. At the same time, now that I was out at work and with my family in the midst of dealing with my father's unsupportive response and going through a very difficult time emotionally I found Peter to be completely uninterested in my issues. He would show up drunk at my house, pawing at me desperate for a physical connection. I didn't feel it. It became apparent that continuing a charade of a relationship was pointless and I felt the need for a change given all the effort I had put forth to move myself in a different direction. I had concluded as well that I needed to end things with Peter.

I lit a Roman candle of reaction unintentionally, resulting in his giving me an ultimatum…

I turned him down, assuming that we were done, ending us in a civilized manner; over…

He blew his brains out in the lobby of Royce King's law offices. Way to go, Pete.

Truth be told, the miserable fuck wanted to pull me down into his fetid swamp of despair. Fortunately I declined the invitation. Regardless, his sickness infected me with guilt.

This is not meant to minimize my reaction to his suicide, which was intense and thanks to my family filled with professional therapy. My father, despite our estrangement, ensured I had only the best-trained doctors to help me heal. Thinking about him in retrospect, my father really had been there for me in a roundabout way despite his inability to accept that I was gay.

I spent the weeks after Peter's dramatic exit alternately crying, drunk or vomiting when I was out of the office. It was only through the strength of friends and family that I was able to escape his intentional infliction of damage to my psyche. Rosalie flew in from Seattle and spent two weeks tending to me. For that I would be forever grateful.

The result of the aftermath of my breakup with Peter was that I vowed never to allow another human being to get so near to me, to allow myself to be vulnerable to emotional manipulation. My friends and family served as my personal armor. They were as fearful as I was, given the effect it had on our collective lives.

Needless to say, Pete's spectacular demise did not go over well at work…it became clear I was not going to be making partner, in fact being at the office was increasingly uncomfortable both for my colleagues and myself, serving as a constant reminder of what Peter had done. It was only a matter of time before I would be leaving, that much was clear, but to what? I had devoted much of my life to the practice of law; I was a successful and talented litigator deciding then and there to continue my profession but with a new firm in a new town. I needed a fresh start.

Rosalie got the lead for the position at Cullen & Cullen from my father…there he was again, I mused, smiling slightly, maybe things with him were not so irreparable after all…I missed him…Rosalie suggested I send in my resume. I heard back from the Cullen firm in record time; a couple of days after I'd e-mailed my resume to the firm I received a response indicating they were interested in meeting with me.

I made arrangements to stay with Rosalie while in Seattle and interviewed the following week. The interview went very well; there was a lot to recommend Cullen & Cullen the foremost being that it was not in Texas. I made my sexual orientation known; it was a non-issue. Everything moved rapidly after that and I found myself accepting an offer soon thereafter after a few days of reflection.

Royce King accepted my resignation with alacrity giving me about six weeks to pack up my belongings, sell my home and purchase the new condo in Seattle. The weeks had passed quickly and I now stood staring out my window unable to sleep on the eve before the start of my new career.

I thought about Seth again, feeling slightly aroused; it did not escape my notice that he was a master manipulator not so dissimilar from Peter. Guarding my heart would lead me to be cautious with Seth, I was wildly attracted to him but I wasn't ready for the drama he created, the passion I felt coming off him in waves, it was almost too much too soon. I hadn't asked for this.

My hands drifted over my abdomen caressing the skin as I hardened, pinching my nipples, remembering how Seth's lips felt trailing over my skin nipping and licking at me, urgently pushing his cock against me.

Fully aroused and rock hard, I returned to my bed, lying down and pushing my sleep pants all the way off as I imagined what Seth might look like in the light of day. I stroked my cock languidly, enjoying the building tension relaxing into my bed. Seth is handsome, I'm certain of that; his eyes would twinkle as he kisses down my body his hand not mine pumping me as his mouth closes over my sensitive cock, sucking and swirling his tongue as he urges me to climax. His gleaming body would press into me as he thrusts deeply over and over, harder and faster until we explode all over each other…fuck…that…felt…good.

I reached towards the nightstand for a small hand towel and cleaned myself up suddenly heavy with exhaustion. Not bothering to put my pants back on, I pulled my comforter over my bare self and finally fell back into a deep sleep.

oooooooooooooo

The blaring alarm rudely woke me signaling it was time to rise. I got out of bed and padded to the bath noting the time. I wanted to arrive at Cullen & Cullen around 8:30 so it looked like I had a couple of hours to get ready and breakfast.

I showered, taking my time letting the hot water flow over me. Despite my disturbed sleep last night I was relatively refreshed. I toweled off and wrapped the towel around me tucking it in at the waist just as I heard insistent rapping at my front door.

No…I pray it's not the evildoers here to dress me…they wouldn't dare…would they? _Dare_ I ignore them? I think I do so at my own peril!

Sighing heavily, I held onto my towel for added security as I headed downstairs to let them in wondering why Rosalie didn't just use her key. I stopped and cautiously looked out the peephole now that it occurred to me that it wasn't my sister and Alice.

A man in a baseball cap stood at my front door.

"Who is it?" This felt odd.

"Ace Courier Service with a delivery for Jasper Whitlock."

"At seven in the morning? I didn't think delivery services operated this early."

"We operate 24/7 sir. I can't leave the package without a signature." I conceded and opened the door wide enough to accept the package and sign the delivery receipt closing and locking the door once again. I held the small package, turning it in my hands wondering what it contained and whom it was from; the package itself gave no indication. I walked back upstairs carrying the package gingerly glancing at the clock as I did so realizing that the cushion of time I thought I had all but disappeared.

I placed the package on my bed and headed back to shave and brush my teeth. I'd picked out my suit the night before or, rather Rosalie and Alice had selected a dark blue one paired with a white shirt and blood red tie. The effect was all business but not too overdone. I dressed quickly and regarded the lonely package once again, shaking it then I gave in and opened it up. There was a card along with a small black jewel box.

_Son,_

_A small token on your first day._

_Good luck,_

_Dad_

Tears sprung unbidden from my eyes, I was overcome with emotion and had to force myself not to call him immediately. I would do so tonight to properly thank him. The gift was unimportant; that he was so thoughtful was everything to me. I needed for things to be right with us and soon! I brushed the tears away and opened the box. The most beautiful tie tack sat in a cushion of white satin; it was 18 carat gold with a ruby that matched my tie. Hmmm, looks like someone got a little color coordinating advice from my sister, I chuckled to myself pinning the tie tack on.

Ready to head out finally, I just needed to collect my briefcase and put my laptop inside. I was now officially running behind and had to forgo breakfast. I would get coffee once I got to the office.

Just before 8:30, I exited the elevator and made it to the front desk still without coffee or sustenance. The receptionist greeted me brightly and directed me to Human Resources to complete my new hire paperwork obtain a badge and office keys.

Soon enough, I was escorted to my new office by a B. Swan, or so her badge indicated. She chattered non-stop filling me in on the basics, restrooms, kitchen and coffee machine on and on. I clutched my packet of forms "_to be completed and returned by the end of the day…_" in one hand, my briefcase in the other; B. Swan continued her non-stop monologue pausing briefly to breathe in a huge gasp off air and off she went again. There was no way I was going to remember anything more than the location of the kitchen and coffee machine. I was starving by now as well.

"We're almost there, Jasper…oh…" she stopped and I almost ran into her.

There was Edward Cullen exiting his office clearly in a hurry head buried in the files he was carrying. He crossed in front of B. Swan causing her to sigh loudly. He looked up distracted, our eyes met but he gave no hint of recognition. He was wearing a pale blue shirt, sleeves rolled up, gray suit vest flapping open, tie pulled loose. Gray slacks hugged his ass; I couldn't help but notice as he walked past me.

"Bella" he said curtly, not stopping to acknowledge my presence.

"That was Edward Cullen," she breathed, stating the obvious. Hmm…somebody has a thing for the boss's son apparently; I chuckled quietly.

"Here we are, Jasper, right next door to…_Edward_." She whispered reverently. Ooookay…

"Why thank you B. Swan, I appreciate the escort." I was ready for Chatty Kathy to leave so I could take stock of my surroundings.

"It's Bella. Try your key just in case, I don't want to leave you stranded." I fumbled with the small buff envelope extracting a key and tried the lock. It clicked open. I opened the door and looked around. _Welcome to your new home…_

"Thanks, B. Swan, I think I can take it from here."

"Wait, Jasper! I need to show you how to use your phone and make sure you can sign onto the computer network." B. Swan smiled at me but her eyes darted to my door just as one Edward Cullen passed by without a glance.

"Go for it, B. Swan." I smiled realizing now why she wanted to linger in my office; it brought her in close proximity to Edward. It was cute in a way, but Edward was taken and B. Swan didn't have a chance in hell with the man; even I had figured that out seeing him the other night with the beautiful Tanya. Not that B. Swan was a slouch; she was king of cute in an awkward geeky way. I found her endearing but highly annoying at the same time.

"Pay attention Jasper" B. Swan jabbed me with a sharp finger as she typed frantically on the keyboard of my newly issued laptop.

"Here's your user ID and password. Once you memorize them destroy the paper." _Oh please_.

Sign on for me so I know you can do it." I was becoming exasperated. I knew how to sign on to a network; I'd been doing it for years.

"B. Swan, I'm good. Go say hi to Edward." She blushed three shades of crimson finally letting me be. I heard her shy voice say hi to the man next door but there was no response. Buried in files I'm sure.

I figured out the phone mail in no time flat pulling my packet of forms out examining them. I had yet to get coffee and hoped there was a vending machine in the kitchen as I was about to fall over from hunger. Before I did anything else I decided to go on a hunt for caffeine and food.

I walked out of my office down the hall to the one place I could find my way to. The kitchen was well stocked, muffins and pastries displayed on a tray as well as bagels and a bowl of fruit. The bagel, lox and cream cheese tempted me and I got it toasting as I poured myself a cup of coffee in the company issued mug. I didn't really like the mug so I determined to bring one from home. It would do for today. I returned to my office placing everything on my desk as I started up my computer.

My laptop booted up and I logged into the company network just as B. Swan had shown me. I checked my calendar for today's appointments and noted two meetings and a lunch appointment. Looks like I was having lunch with the Cullen brothers, Carlisle and Edward Senior. My first meeting was at ten o'clock giving me about thirty minutes, probably a meet and greet where they would introduce me to the other associates. The latter meeting with Edward was likely when I would receive my first assignments. I was anxious to get started. I noted the stack of files on the back credenza and decided to take an advance look.

I munched on my bagel as I thumbed through the files getting the gist of the cases. It appeared to be three different cases, variations on a theme concerning pool drowning of small children. My stomach clenched. These cases, I knew were the most emotional and time consuming. It looked like I was diving right into the big time.

I was absorbed in the files and was startled by a light rap on my doorframe. I glanced up into the deepest blue eyes I'd seen in recent memory, sapphires against her pale white skin. Those eyes penetrated through me appraising, almost masculine in her aggressiveness.

"Hello Jasper, I'm Maria, your designated greeter and fellow associate, she laughed throatily and if I were a straight guy I'd have a boner right about now. She was dressed in a brown herringbone suit, which should have been modest attire on most women, but on Maria the suit looked like bedroom wear. She was tall and slim; the suit hugged her curves and ample bosom. She had dramatic black hair that curled down and over her shoulders.

"So what does a designated greeter do, Maria?" I decided to flirt with her a bit.

"Oh, well I get the decided honor of introducing you to our fellow associates and, uh, help acquaint you with the firms procedures." She walked languidly into my office and perched on my desk. "Among other things" she whispered seductively her blood red talons grazing the edge of her skirt suggestively.

"Hmmm, what are those other things Mar…" Edward appeared at my door his stormy countenance staring directly at Maria.

"Maria, we have a meeting in ten. You can show the new associate around later." Abruptly he withdrew and I checked my watch. It was, in fact, ten to ten.

"I'll catch you later" she winked at me, but I was perturbed by Edward Cullen's interruption. It was as if he had been listening in. He's an odd duck, I thought.

I glanced at my watch and saw I had five minutes to get to the conference room. I printed out the meeting agenda and found my way there just as Carlisle and Edward Senior arrived. The both shook my hand and welcomed me. Edward junior, my next-door neighbor had yet to speak a word to me and was nowhere to be seen.

I walked in and sat at the first empty seat, two in from the head of the table. I noticed that the Cullen brothers sat at each end of the table, their assistants fussing and organizing handouts. I presume then this was a weekly staff meeting in which outstanding cases and progress therewith was discussed. I sat closest to Edward Senior. Maria entered and took the seat next to me just to his immediate left.

There was one empty seat left next to Carlisle's right, I watched as Edward, the last to arrive took the empty seat and the meeting commenced.

Edward senior started off the meeting by introducing me and asking the associates to introduces themselves. We went around the table after I had given my bio and the last to speak was Edward, who gave the barest information, name and title without looking up from his notepad. I heard a heavy sigh from Ed Senior but no other comment.

The meeting proceeded briskly and as I expected the associates provided a description of their cases and a status. Edward was last again describing the pool drowning cases and I realized those were the ones that had been shifted to me. Were we going to work together or was he off the cases? It was hard to tell from his demeanor.

We broke close to noon and by now I could think of nothing but food. Edward Senior caught my arm.

"Jasper, we'll be lunching in the private dining room. We'll see you in ten minutes." He smiled and walked away. In appearance he resembled Edward but he was built sturdily unlike Edward who was lanky and athletic, more like Carlisle.

I went directly to the men's room and relieved myself. As I washed up Mike Newton, another associate to whom I had been introduced to this morning, entered.

"Welcome Jasper." He said acerbically. I'm impressed. "Here one day and you've been assigned to work with Cullen on the pool drowning cases."

"Thanks Mike, I'm anxious to get started."

"I'll bet you are." He said snidely then exited without using the facilities. What was that all about? I puzzled over his attitude but didn't let it get to me. As a litigator it was not unusual for opposing counsel to attempt to ruffle the competition. That little snipe was nothing; I was used to hearing much worse.

The hall was empty as I returned to my office, quiet and deserted. I suppose everyone had gone to lunch. It occurred to me I didn't know how to get to the private dining room and I didn't want to be late. I decided to hop next door to Edward's and see if he could give me directions. I knocked on his door but got no response so I wandered down the hall looking for a friendly face. As it happened B. Swan was still at her desk so she kindly led the way.

I hadn't really had much of a conversation with Edward Senior other than a brief introduction when I interviewed now close to two months previously. Carlisle had spent the most time with me and I was more comfortable with him; suddenly shy, I cautiously entered the private dining room and was immediately impressed by the décor. Having come from old money myself, I appreciated the dark wood paneling and subdued lighting; the table where they sat was the same dark wood, the seating what appeared to be exceptionally comfortable club chairs. I approached the table and Edward Senior rose slightly and motioned to the chair next to him. I sunk into the chair confirming my initial impression but slightly ill at ease at the piercing look Edward Senior had pinned on me.

I dined with the Cullen brothers and Maria. I wondered whether Edward would be joining us but that did not happen. The meal was excellent and I was relieved to finally have eaten. The lunch was filled with idle chatter about the firm and what I should expect. I was invited to a legal society reception but declined knowing I would be meeting up with Seth later tonight. I gave a vague excuse about a prior commitment.

Lunch broke up and I returned to my office anxious to prepare for the afternoon meeting with Edward and Maria. As two o'clock approached, I gathered up my notes and walked towards Edwards office. I knocked lightly on his open door and he looked up and motioned me to the small table across from his desk. Maria followed me in and the three of us discussed the cases in a terse but professional manner. Edward was particularly serious, describing how the faulty pool equipment had directly caused at least three drowning deaths of young children, the impact to their families and the evidence that had been accumulated to document the case.

I was impressed by his thoroughness and vowed to read every single page in the files so that I could be as up on the cases as he was. Maria commented frequently as fervent in her desire to see right done as was Edward. We could have gone on for hours but Edward abruptly ended the meeting at four o'clock pleading another commitment. I got up to leave pulling my papers together and glanced up to bid Edward goodnight. He was leaning against his desk, palms down next his sides staring at me intensely. I got the feeling Edward wasn't happy to be sharing the caseload with me; that was the only thing that explained the look.

"Goodnight Edward, I'll read through the files and get back to you with comments tomorrow. Have a good evening." I turned without waiting for a reply, I was not about to be discouraged by his demeanor and was planning on working as hard as he did to ensure we did right by our clients. I was no slouch and he would learn that soon enough.

"_See you later, Jasper…"_ came his whispered reply the sound following me down the hall after I had already exited. For some reason the hair on my neck stood up, his eerie voice cutting right through me. He's a little weird, I mused heading back to my office.

I worked until six making some progress with the files. All in all it had been a satisfying first day, I was definitely going to like working here. I powered down my new laptop and debated taking it home with me deciding against it as I was unlikely to get much work done tonight seeing as I would be meeting up with Seth in a couple of hours. Hopefully he showed. Packing up by briefcase I looked around my new office making a mental note to bring in a few pictures and other mementos to fill the blank spaces.

It occurred to me that until just now Seth had barely entered my mind over the course of the day but given how hectic it had been that was not too surprising. I figured this was a good thing and possibly an indicator that I wouldn't be too upset if tonight went as I expected it to go, calling an end to things, bringing closure to our brief fling and allowing the both of us to move on with our lives. Our brief few days together had a profound impact; made me more certain of what I wanted in my life. A manipulative one-sided relationship was definitely not in the cards. I felt stronger than I had in months. That, coupled with the feeling that I might be able to get things right with my Dad left me sure of my path.

Dad…I had to get a message to him before I left the office. I turned my laptop back on and sat back down at my desk. I fidgeted trying to decide what to say. I decided to go with honesty leaving my sexual orientation for another day, he couldn't handle it yet but my gut told me it would be all right.

"_Dad,_

_Hopefully this e-mail finds you well. I wanted to get you my contact information here at Cullen & Cullen. Day one was great, I'm certain I'm going to like it here._

_I received your small token and greatly appreciate the thought; I wore it today to many compliments. My place is coming along but I'm sure Rosalie has filled you in on that._

_I'd like to keep in touch with you more regularly than I have over the past year, let me know if you're okay with this._

_Your son,_

_Jasper_

I hit send before I could change my mind but found I was sitting at my desk, full of emotion, trying not to cry. I powered my computer down once again, gathered my belongings and locked up departing just before seven. I had barely an hour to get to the museum and my meeting with Seth.

It didn't seem to make sense to go home and change, I would be late if I did. The Market at Pike's Place was nearby both the office and the Seattle Museum of Modern Art so I thought I'd wander down and search for a place to get something quick to eat then walk over to the museum. I made a trip to my car in the parking garage leaving my papers and briefcase in the trunk before heading out in search of food.

There was a tapas place that looked promising; I didn't need anything heavy after the lunch I'd had. I ordered a few plates and a beer choosing to sit outside and people watch. The food was tasty and satisfying, just enough to curb my hunger. I polished off my beer and checked my watch noting it was seven forty-five. I called for the bill and pulled out my wallet. The waiter returned quickly and I signed the tab leaving a generous tip.

I heard a velvety voice and glanced over in time to see Edward and Tanya walking by. I was mystified for a moment before I realized in shock that the legal society reception was at Seattle MOMA. It was less than a five-minute walk but I didn't want to encounter the couple. I trailed behind unseen and waited to enter the museum until after they had disappeared. I bought my ticket just a few minutes before eight, one of the last to enter.

The museum was beautifully lit for the evening and it looked like many of the patrons were dressed to attend the function. I would have fit in had I chosen to go but right now I needed to pay attention and deal with my pseudo love life.

The docent handed me a map of the museum exhibits for which I was grateful noting that closing time was nine sharp. I located the Pollock exhibit and headed that way, passing slowly through the brightly painted canvasses of various artists placed strategically and lit perfectly. Dawdling a bit I stopped at a small presentation of Picasso paintings from his blue period. Although I was no art expert, I could appreciate the deep emotion they conveyed.

My skin prickled and I knew Seth was near. I could smell him. Oddly, his scent had lingered with me most of the day and I had just made conscious note of it. I had spent so much time with him the past few days that it seemed to permeate every aspect of my life without my recognizing anything unusual.

I glanced at my watch: quarter after eight, I should head back to the Pollock exhibit. I walked quickly now wondering whether Seth was waiting on me to arrive. The vivid paintings dwarfed me as I rounded the corner; larger than life canvases conveyed the riotous state of the painters mind. Was this meant to have meaning to me? Was this a signal?

I looked around looking at the few patrons who remained trying to match any of them to Seth. None seemed right.

I tapped the guide against my hand impatiently trying to figure out how we were going to meet; a hand clasped my shoulder.

"Don't turn around. Walk to the back of the exhibit and down the hall." His sultry whisper made me instantly hard. I saw where he meant and walked purposefully down the darkened hall without looking back. He came up behind me, I felt his warmth as he ushered us into a small, unlit room. We were pressed close together, his warm scotch soaked breath washing over me.

His lips brushed over my neck, his tongue flicking out running down my jaw to my collarbone as he pulled at my hips grinding into me breathing heavily.

"Don't mark me again." I warned as I felt him bite my collarbone and sucked deeply. He moved back from me suddenly releasing his hold.

"Jasper, I want you so bad…" he moved back towards me and palmed my erection squeezing my shaft through the fabric of my slacks causing me to moan deeply. My head fell back as he grasped me around the waist with one arm pulling me close again trying to get my slacks undone as he pulled my shirt out of the waist band dragging his fingers against my sensitive skin. I shuddered against his touch but grabbed his hand and stopped him, coming to my senses.

"No Seth, I don't want this clandestine relationship anymore. If you want me show yourself or we're done." I heard him sigh but he did not let go of me trying to push my pants down grinding himself against me.

"Let me make you feel good, Jasper, I want to suck your glorious cock, I want to fuck you senseless…" He sank to his knees attempting to release my hardened cock because despite everything I had just said I was incredibly aroused by his touch.

"Seth, who are you? What do you look like; it's driving me crazy. I want to be with you but not like this. You make me feel like a whore."

"But you're my whore" he whispered wrapping his lips around my cock. Oh hell no!

My anger knew no bounds. "Go! Leave me alone" I seethed "go and find what the fuck you're seeking because it isn't going to be me!" His hands continued to travel over my body, seeking purchase; seeking forgiveness.

"Baby…"

"I'm not your baby, I'm your nothing! I'm not going to be your dirty little secret so fuck off!" I pushed him away turned and walked out of the shadows quickly pulling myself together, waves of anger flowing off me.

Seth had gotten inside my head, made me emotionally weak, made me want him. Not going to happen. I stalked off glad to be away from him. The restroom near the exit would give me a place to quickly check myself over and get it together. Pushing the door open roughly I caught my reflection. I was a mess. My hair was wild and tangled; damn him; there was a hickey on my collarbone!

I turned on the cold-water tap cupping my hands in the cool water, splashing a quantity on my face to cool down my flushed complexion. I combed my wet fingers through my hair taming it slightly. Satisfied that I was somewhat presentable I tucked in my shirt buttoning it up, checking to make sure the hickey didn't show. I straightened my jacket and headed out of the bathroom just as the door swung open.

"Jasper! What a surprise. Are you here to attend the legal society reception as well?

There stood Edward Cullen resplendent in a dove gray silk suit still holding the restroom door open. The color of his suit contrasted nicely against the riot of coppery hair and flushed complexion; his locks were as messy as mine had been; he was wide eyed and slightly out of breath. I was momentarily speechless; he was an amazing specimen; too bad he was straight…

"Actually no…I came to meet a friend and view the Pollock exhibit"…I grimaced briefly reminded of Seth but caught myself…"I was just on my way out." I ducked my head and started to pass but he placed a hand on my chest so I paused, catching his eye. I was mesmerized; an electrical thrill ran through my body radiating from where his palm rested lightly on me.

"Stay. I'm here with Tanya and I would love for her to meet our newest associate."

He was different, looser not as formal as he had been today in the office. He patted my shoulder and urged me out the door.

"You don't need to use the…?" I stammered suddenly shy. _What?_

"No, I don't. Join us"

I could not move. He pushed on my shoulder and smiled crookedly.

"Come on"

We walked back to the reception towards a smiling Tanya, who was holding a nearly empty wine glass. Edward wound his arm around her waist pulling her close. She truly was a beautiful woman.

"Edward! Where did you disappear to?" She leaned into him and kissed his cheek. His hand trailed up her arm to her bare shoulder caressing it with his fingertips drawing slow circles on her skin. He smiled back at her. She tugged at his jacket unbuttoning it.

"Silly, your buttons are askew. I knew I should have dressed you!" She laughed lightly. Edward blushed, glancing back at me oddly before quickly averting his eyes.

"Oh yes. Tanya, I'd like to introduce Jasper Whitlock, our newest associate. In fact, his first day was today." She turned to me with a bright smile and extended her hand, which I clasped briefly. She was irresistible, a delight. I could see why Edward was with her.

"Nice to meet you Jasper"

"The pleasure's all mine darlin'." I drawled, exaggerating the minimal Texas accent I had. She giggled. Adorable.

"Jasper, this is my fiancée, Tanya, she's also my best friend." I nodded at her taking a glass of wine from the tray that was just passing. The waiter paused by Tanya.

"Would you like another," the waiter asked. She put her empty down and grabbed two one for her and one for Edward. We talked for a while, about work and local sports. Tanya was an engaging conversationalist and Edward surprised me with his lively funny commentary. After a bit the conversation stalled, as Edward and Tanya appeared to slip into their own bubble. They stared at each other as If no one else was present. I felt suddenly awkward and turned away sipping at my wine and walked away from the loving couple. I recognized a number of the associates from work and lo and behold there was Jacob!

I grinned widely and quickened my pace towards him as I caught his eye.

"Dude, you made it!" Of course he had to hug me and kiss my cheek making me blush.

"Jake, you've got to cut that out man." I said peeking around to see if anyone had noticed. Yup; basically everyone I worked with. No one seemed the least bit interested in Jake's display, though. I guess they just expected it of him.

"Hey, I missed you! It's been a whole four hours since I saw you last. Are you going to Seth's Place tonight? I'm working." He wiggled his eyebrows and nudged me in the side then plopped a big hand on my shoulder and pushed me into the chair next to him keeping his arm draped casually around me.

"No; I don't know when I'll get back there with work and all; no more Seth for me though, I told him tonight we were done, he's so deep in the closet he'll never find a way out and I can't live that way. I still care about him, don't get me wrong but after how my last relationship ended, I just can't handle the drama. I needed to get out of the Seth thing before it developed into something more."

"That's good to hear Ed, I was worried about you; Rosalie told me the basics. No good could have come from the Seth scene so I'm glad that's done." He leaned back in his chair thoughtfully.

"Soooo…does that mean there's a chance for me?" He winked at me and I shoved him playfully.

"Cut it out Jake, you're my buddy" I laughed at his persistence.

I relaxed back into my chair drinking my wine but paused looking back to where I'd left Edward and Tanya, concerned as I hadn't said a word, just wandered away. I didn't want to seem rude.

I was taken aback by Edward's wild-eyed appearance. His hair seemed to be on fire, the subdued lighting enhancing the effect.

His eyes were a roiling black storm, full of thunder. Flashing them back towards Tanya, Edward turned away placing his hand lightly on her back his other hand fisted at his side as they left the reception without a backward glance.

Huh…I wonder what that was all about…

**Seth/Edward**

How fucked up am I? It's hard to say. I sat on the edge of my bed having just returned from the reception. Jasper was beautiful, beyond exceptional. It was so hard working close to him all day, he was so eager and friendly; he made friends effortlessly; people were drawn to his warm persona. I watched my father get sucked in by the strength of his personality. I hungered for him, I ached to touch his soft skin.

Fuck Jacob! He wanted Jasper, I could tell. Watching him paw at Jasper was just too much and I needed to leave. Something deep within me wanted to rip Jacob's head off and drag Jasper way from him.

My heart clenched at what had happened earlier; he didn't want Seth anymore, Seth was a coward to him. Oh, he was so right! I let him go, I had no right to cling to him the way I had. James had been right to warn Jasper away.

I scrubbed my eyes ready for oblivion when I felt Tanya's naked chest against my bare back. She was clad only in lace panties and slightly drunk, pressed herself against me thinking she was arousing some deep lust. I was an ass; here was this exceptional woman whom I felt nothing for sexually opening herself up to me. I sighed and turned to her drawing her panties down her legs spreading them as I stroked her sex making her writhe in pleasure and suckling at her breasts. The least I could do was pleasure her tonight. Tomorrow I needed to figure my shit out.

* * *

**Hope you like it!**


	7. Chapter 7

Hope you're enjoying my little story, it's really meant to be about how someone comes to find a way to be true to themselves and be happy after a fasion. That's all i want for my characters but they're making it difficult.

S. Meyer owns all Twilight characters. I just mess with them.

**Blind Faith**

**Chapter 7**

**Edward**

_Tomorrow I needed to figure my shit out._

_

* * *

_

My life is such a fucking mess. I'm lying in bed next to Tanya but all I can think about is Jasper and the last time I really touched him. I locked my arms behind my head looking over at her sleeping form; things had to change for both our sakes. Embarrassed at the lengths I had gone to be near Jasper but remain anonymous finally has me facing the fact that I need help to free myself from this prison, advice to deal with my feelings for men. I am living no kind of life and eventually I would explode and do permanent damage to those I love.

I need to break things off with Tanya, oh that would be so hard. I love her in so many ways but not how she deserves to be loved, adored cherished with an intimacy I can't give her. She can have whatever she wants, my condo the furniture cars, well not the Vanquish, anything to make her happy. I need to tell my parents, but not before she and I come to grips with the situation. She needs to know that I want her to always be a part of my life and that the closeness she has with my parents should be unaffected. Can we do that? For the duration, I need to be faithful to her regardless of my hunger for Jasper; I need to be a man for once in my life.

I'm feeling all sorts of brave here in the dead of night but can I sustain this feeling in the harsh light of day? How brave will I be then? I turned away from Tanya and drifted off to a troubled sleep.

I arrived at the office late having dragged myself from bed feeling sluggish and out of sorts. Laden with a laptop bag and briefcase, my keys slipped out of my hands and dropped to the floor as I tried to unlock my office door.

"Here, let me help." A gravelly voice said sweeping down to grab my keys. _Jasper_… He quickly got the door open walked to my desk and deposited the keys in the little dish where I always placed them. He stood there smiling expectantly hands in pockets. Conflicted as I was, it made it difficult for me to have even a casual conversation with Jasper. I croaked a terse thanks while my heart beat furiously and proceeded to unload my bag without acknowledging his presence. By the time I turned around he'd left. _He must think I'm a dick_, I sighed. Well, it's for the best, I guess. I am in a position to destroy two wonderful people, I had to tread carefully, leave them be while I got my act together; we were going to be working closely so I had no choice.

Today at lunch rather than going out I planned on doing some research, find someone to talk with; a counselor with whom I could stay anonymous but focus on my issues, get information. There was no way given my track record I could do this on my own. Emmett…he hangs out at Seth's Place, he's cool with the gay scene; maybe I could sound him out a bit. Maybe I could come out to him first. It felt safe.

**.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.**

Emmett and I have a complicated relationship. Technically we're step-brothers but we are as bonded as if we were blood brothers. Carlisle and his first wife, Carmen adopted Emmett as a baby; he had been part of my life first as a cousin then as a step-brother my entire life. After Carmen's sudden death, a grief stricken Carlisle took on the role of single dad with Esme, my mom's assistance. At the time she was still married to Edward Senior, my dad. We spent most of our formative years together; he was my big brother a couple of years older looking out for me, my best friend. We were both enveloped in Esme's love; our lives couldn't have been more content.

I was in the fourth grade and Emmett the sixth when our lives briefly fell apart. Edward Senior had never been a particularly attentive father being so preoccupied with his career, building the law firm to its current status. He had grown increasingly remote to the point he rarely took meals with us as a family. It seemed that Esme and Carlisle were always there for us but not Edward Senior. I didn't really miss his presence as Carlisle was so involved in Emmett and my activities and sports. I often wondered how Carlisle was able to find time to spend with us but my own father couldn't. They both were partners in the firm they founded together but my father made it his whole world unlike his brother. At least, that what us innocents thought was the reason for his devotion to his work…Unfortunately, I was the one who discovered the truth.

We were on a school field trip, two buses full of elementary school kids headed off to the Seattle Museum of Natural History. Dinosaurs! I was beside myself with excitement. Carlisle and I had pored over the school packet with him circling important exhibits and tidbits of information to maximize my experience. I had my packet in hand as I got off the bus, following along as we hit each exhibit. There was a small pool where we could feel the sea cucumbers cool to the touch, they moved when we touched them. We passed through the ice age exhibit to the much-anticipated Paleolithic exhibit, my heartbeat accelerated as we walked down the darkened hall approaching the large beasts. I hung back waiting for the kids to clear the hall so I could get the full effect of the huge bones on exhibit. Carlisle had given me his camera to capture pictures for my school report.

I was alone in the hall; it was quiet except for some labored breathing off to my right. I focused my camera on the light emanating from Dinosaur Hall and snapped a few pictures. A moan to my right distracted me and I turned just as my flash went off, revealing Edward Senior wrapped around someone, not my mom. I saw him through the viewfinder and lost all ability to move. Once I recovered my senses I ran out to meet up with the rest of my class, but my life would never be the same. I had lost my innocence. He never knew it was me in the hall. I never looked at a dinosaur bone in the same light again. Something was stolen from me.

My dad had time for a "field trip" but he didn't have time for his only son. I was nine and he took dinosaurs away from me. I would never trust him again.

When I got home mom noticed my glum face. She started to take my backpack off and asked if I'd enjoyed the field trip. I looked into her eyes, _oh mom…_

"It was okay" I sighed.

"Tired though." I slipped my backpack off in the hall and continued to my room.

"Hungry sweetie? I have stew on the stove." My darling innocent mom called.

"No Ma, I ate a lot today, save it for me?" My feet felt encased in the lie, trudged towards my room.

"Sleep well, darling" She called.

"You too mom" I responded. Could I ever tell her what I saw?

I hated my father at this moment but realized the man was a stranger. I could kill him right now for what he was about to do to my family. I would be the match but he was the fuel. I was not going to let the fucker get away with it, but I needed to bide my time. He came home that night and I watched as mom greeted him like a conquering hero, fussing over his meal and chattering about her day. I watched him noticing how completely uninterested he was in what she said abruptly leaving the table once he finished eating without a kind word for her. He ignored me completely to my immense relief. I can't remember the last time I had engaged in casual conversation with the guy who called himself my dad, who shared my name.

I wanted to catch him en flagrante and shame his ass, if that was possible. My nine-year old sensibility was in outrage mode. In some respects, I wish I had been older when I discovered who my father was, I might have been even more devious and damaging. As it was, the asshole made me look like a liar and denied everything. My formerly happy mom now spent her days crying; wanting to believe him, not me. I was consumed with guilt that I was the cause for her unhappiness…_if only I had kept his secret_…She was angry at me not him, that is, until Carlisle printed the pictures off the camera.

Despite everything, Carlisle insisted we finish up the school project so I could get my grade. I had put a lot into the assignment, he rationalized I should not let my personal hurt injure my life, a philosophy I would carry into adulthood. Carlisle walked into Emmett's bedroom with a stack of pictures in one hand and a lone photo in the other. He tucked the lone photo in his pocket, distracting me and ensuring I would ask to see it before he left.

He slapped the balance of the photos on the desk and we spent the rest of the afternoon arranging them for best effect. Sometime while we were engaged, Emmett wandered in with his guitar and lay back on his bed idly picking out tunes. All in all it was a very therapeutic afternoon, all due to Carlisle and Emmett. My project was complete and the only thing remaining for me to do was to discover what was the subject of the lone photo he retained in his pocket.

"It's of your father, Edward. Your flash went off accidentally. I need for your mother to see, I'm sick that she's so deep in denial and what it's doing to you."

"I want to see it."

"No, you already saw enough." With that, he gave me a brief hug and I left for home going straight to my room. I tidied up my desk and put my project away for school the next day. I was wrung out, exhausted and ready for sleep. Just as was about to drop off, my door creaked open slightly. I opened my eyes enough to see it was my dad standing in the doorway watching me. I was afraid to move a muscle wondering what he was doing and if he was angry. He closed the door without a word…it was hours before I could settle myself enough to drift off.

Esme filed for divorce the following week, Edward Senior had already moved out. He never said a word to me; I figured he hated me as much as I hated him at that point. I missed being part of a family unit but it wasn't long before mom, Carlisle, Emmett and I were hanging out at each other's homes. It was comfortable; Carlisle always felt like more of a father to me than my own and I would confide in him. Emmett and I grew ever closer. I considered him a brother even before Carlisle and mom decided to get married a couple of years after the divorce; it seemed like the natural next step.

Edward Senior was beside himself with fury when he found out about the impending marriage of his brother to his ex-wife, this despite the fact that he was remarried to the despicable Victoria, the woman who broke up my parent's marriage. In retrospect, I think we got the better end of the deal and I was part of a happy family. Unfortunately a huge rift developed between the brothers that nearly resulted in the end of the law firm. In the end, Edward Senior saw reason and the brothers were able to work together again although they were never as close as they had been previously.

**.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.**

I texted Emmett and made arrangements for the two of us to have dinner Wednesday evening. I was looking forward to hanging out with my big brother again; it had been a while what with his busy football schedule.

After the scuffle with my office door I finally settled in my office thanks to Jasper's help; hot coffee and a bagel to get me going. I knew I should eat better but there was never time. I pulled out my files and settled in to review the new information on the pool drowning cases we'd received in the last few days. I would be meeting with Jasper and Maria later this morning to begin preparing our case for trial which was scheduled to begin in six weeks and we still had witnesses to interview and nail down for testimony. Between the three of us we were going to be run ragged. The benefit was that I would be able to spend time with Jasper getting to know him better, _as a colleague_, I rationalized. The reality, as much as I tried to deny it was that my attraction and desire for him hadn't waned one bit. I was a professional though and I was not about to let my feelings for Jasper affect our working relationship on the case. These kids were too important.

I heard a hesitant knock on my door and called for whomever it was to come in. The door opened slowly and there stood a beet red Bella.

"Um, Edward, Your dad wants you in conference room three, uh sorry to bug you…"

I know some people find this shy blushing shit attractive but I find it highly annoying. "Bella, what's the meeting for? Couldn't you send an e-mail?"

"Um…uh…um…"

"Thanks Bella" I said abruptly, standing and brushing past her as I exited. I heard her gasp…oh shit…please don't have a crush on me!

I hurried down the hall to the conference room catching Edward Senior and Jasper in deep conversation at the far end of the room. Jasper was leaning against the wall his chin cradled thoughtfully in one hand as my father gesticulated animatedly. I presumed they were talking about the case. We were about to commandeer the room for the next six weeks as we plotted our case approach. Seeing my father talking with Jasper so comfortably added to my discomfort. It was as if he had become instantly won over by Jasper's personality, of course, that made two of us but I couldn't act on my desires.

My relationship with my father was formal and distant; collegial and professional while at work, virtually non-existent outside of the office, save for those annoying once-monthly family dinners where I was forced to endure the presence of Victoria. I was a little jealous of Jasper's ease, but that was how he was with everyone, smooth talker that he was…I smiled slightly at the thought of him curled around me then quickly brushed the thought away as I entered the conference room.

"Oh, there you are Edward. I was just telling Jasper about a call I received from opposing counsel." He glanced up at me making only the briefest eye contact. "I wanted to warn you that they are going to play dirty. I know you've been up against Craig Matthews before so you know what he's capable of. He's asking for bios on all plaintiff witnesses so I'm sure they'll be digging for dirt. Watch out at the depositions, it could get ugly."

"Thanks for that...I'm confident Jasper and I will make them beg for mercy if they try to pull any shit. We'll be paying close attention to the questions they ask." I chuckled mirthlessly glancing over at Jasper. He had the same look of steely determination.

"Felix will be in later today; I heard from Maria that he's dug up some intriguing internal documents that shed some light on Jason Electronics reaction to the kids drowning deaths. Looks like they had the wagons circled early on."

"Good. I'll let Bella know so she can direct him to our war room." I strode into the conference room making no further effort to engage my father. I walked towards Jasper, who was eyeing me speculatively.

"You ready for this dude?" I asked a little cocky. He looked back at me through squinted eyes.

"Did you check my resume dick? I was born ready for this shit." Was he pissed? He walked toward the wall-board and started pinning up pictures and blank paper. "Let's get started. I want to be ready for Felix."

We spent the next four hours charting the timeline from the first drowning and complaint to the most recent. Jasper spent time linking public comments from Jason Electronics to each traumatic event. It painted a vivid picture of concealment.

We ordered lunch in and Bella delivered it sometime early afternoon. I was engrossed in what Jasper was plotting but she kept harrumphing behind me so that I became distracted.

"Bella, thanks." I dismissed her but she remained stoic, flushed and mumbling something incoherent about a family or holiday dinner.

"What!" I snapped, tired of being distracted. Jasper looked up as I lashed out at Bella. I didn't think I'd been overly harsh but what the hell, I was working and she was going on and on about some family function…Oh shit…that's right we were going to jointly work on the food for the Firm holiday picnic, but why did she insist on discussing it right now? I watched as she ran out obviously crying but this did not assuage the fact that she was discussing this on company time in the heat of trial preparation. I sighed and asked Jasper for five minutes as I followed Bella down the hall. It was easy; I just followed the sniffles and snorts.

I found her hunched into a ball at the end of the hall near my office.

"Bella, sorry if I've somehow upset you, what did you need to discuss so urgently?"

"Um, well, I wanted to make a time for us to plan the food for the dinner." She sniffled and I cringed.

"Why didn't you just put something on my calendar? It's up to date…"

"Uh, I didn't think of that, sorry…" She descended into fits of sobs and I could not handle this.

"Bella, I'll put something on your calendar but for now, I need to get back to work." I turned feeling very uncomfortable, like I was missing something and returned to the conference room where Jasper had continued marking in the timeline.

"She's in love with you, Edward" He said without turning.

"I'm sorry she feels that way, I've never given her even the slightest indication of interest. Am I supposed to feel bad about that?"

"Just be kind to her, I know she's annoying as hell but don't be so rough." Jasper turned and faced me for the first time today, it was late afternoon and we were still waiting on Felix.

"It's getting old Jasper, Bella crushing on me, I'm not into women and it…I mean, there's Tanya so why can't Bella see I'm not available…why am I the bad guy?" God I hope he didn't catch that! He stared at me as if trying to decipher the meaning behind my exclamation.

Felix walked in just then thank God, or as soon as I saw Jasper's face I may have wished death upon him. Felix was an amazingly handsome gay man, tall, black hair and startling ice-blue eyes, great personality. Clearly, Jasper was intrigued. He smiled at Felix and walked towards him hand outstretched. They shook hands but continued to grasp onto each other. I saw Jasper's grin widen as he held on dimples deepened, eyes twinkled. Felix was swept away by Jasper's charm. I may as well have been a rock.

I suppose I got a glimmer into how Bella felt when I brushed her off because it's how I was feeling right about now.

I realize I blew through lunch and never did finish my coming out research. I therefore wasn't in a position to launch myself at Jasper claiming what I considered rightfully mine; yeah, that was all kinds of screwed up.

"Soooo, Felix, are you going to brief us on what you've uncovered?" Jasper startled and released Felix's hand sitting down at the long table. Felix, the professional that he was opened his briefcase and extracted a file stuffed full of papers. He proceeded to fill us in on how Jason Electronics knew early on that its pool cleaning technology was flawed and dangerous but viewed it as an acceptable risk. That's what we wanted; the fact that they viewed human lives lost as an acceptable risk. They did not know we had insight into their thinking; we needed to carefully guard that secret.

Jasper asked Felix about his dinner plans. He hadn't asked me so I assumed I wasn't included. To say I was a thundercloud of aggravated disappointment was to understate the case. I needed to get away from them before I did or said anything stupid.

I bade them a quick goodbye and slunk back to my office half-expecting Bella to still be hunched over in a ball by the door. Gratefully, that was not the case, but I decided to cut her a break in the future. You couldn't help whom you loved sometimes; I'd try and be nicer…_Loved?_ Sheesh!

I collected my briefcase and headed out to grab the elevator down to the garage. As I approached I sensed Jasper and Felix behind me, then I heard their light murmured conversation. Please God, let them take a separate elevator.

God must hate me because he made me hold the elevator door for them as they approached, deep in conversation, enthralled with each other. It was enough to make me vomit on the spot. I decided to be a man about things.

"Great job with the investigation Felix, that puts us miles ahead."

"Well thanks, Edward. I'd ask you to join us for dinner but I know that's not something you generally do with the associates." He laughed lightly nudging Jasper who did not appear to get the joke.

"Are you coming Edward?" Jasper gave me a piercing look which I failed to comprehend. "No, you two go on, I'll slog home and review the files. See you tomorrow."

I turned away but felt Jasper tug at my arm.

"Why aren't you joining us Edward," he queried.

"Jasper, just go and enjoy yourself. I don't want to be a third wheel."

"I'd rather go with you and not him but I understand." He sighed and walked over to Felix's car. They drove away. I am feeling like I just missed something big.

* * *

Sorry it's short, wanted to get something out before the holiday.


	8. Chapter 8

**Blind Faith**

**Chapter 8**

**Edward**

"_I'd rather go with you and not him but I understand." He sighed and walked over to Felix's car. They drove away. I am feeling like I just missed something big._

_

* * *

_

I called it a day and headed home to my place, tons on my mind foremost of which is why I didn't go out with Jasper and Felix as Jasper had asked. I thought it over as I poured myself a scotch and pulled together a solitary dinner. Rather than enjoying the company of friends, which was fully within my grasp, I chose solitude peeved by Felix's jibe. It was a petulant and self-defeating move; I recognized jealousy stirring envying the ease between the two men, something I craved for myself. My insecurity where my attraction to men was concerned surfaced, well, specifically Jasper at this point; I suppose I thought my presence would be unwelcome given the way the two of them were eye-fucking each other. Jasper's last words haunted me though, had I made a mistake in thinking he didn't want me along? It seemed as though he was trying to silently communicate to me and I missed it I now realized in retrospect…Damn! When will I ever get it right? I may have handed the man I love to another due to my never- ending stupidity. I downed my drink and polished off the grill cheese sandwich, filling my glass again.

I wandered through my living room towards the lovely Steinway that sat alone in an anteroom that featured French doors and a view of the river. I opened the doors to let the night air in walking idly to the balcony cradling my drink. I was lonely.

I could call Tanya but that would be a bad move, encouraging her at a time I was moving towards ending our engagement. She would comfort me, but at what price to her? Could I be that selfish? No, even I had scruples. I ached to hold Jasper again, tempted to text him as Seth. Again, how much of an ass was I willing to be to seek solace against his skin? I couldn't do it anymore.

I strolled back inside and sat at the piano bench fingering the keys distractedly as I thought about the day. We worked together well; Jasper was a relentless advocate and a consummate professional. In this way we were very much alike; failure was not an option. I noodled a tune, inspired by my thoughts of Jasper…maybe I could compose again I mused. I jotted a few notes down on sheet paper and downed the balance of my drink noticing the time.

Jasper should be home by now…I hope! It was near midnight. Should I text him to see if he arrived home safely? No, I didn't want to take the chance he was still with Felix; I just didn't want to know.

I showered and got myself ready for bed and the next day, arranging my clothes and accessories.

I was just about to turn off the light and crawl into bed when I heard a sharp knock at my front door. Startled I froze for a second before I descended the stairs and stood for a moment before my front door...another sharp rap. I checked my alarm system panel on the left; it was activated. I peeked through the spyhole and encountered sparkling blue slightly bloodshot eyes…

…Jasper…

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

**Jasper**

Edward and I sat in the war room laying out strategy for the depositions and upcoming pre-trial hearings. He was afire with his desire to bring opposing parties down, tapping rapidly on his laptop as each new angle occurred to him. In my way of thinking he was way too emotionally invested in the case, I observed, in my brief involvement with the case, but why? Nothing in the record I saw explained it. It seems he had a ton of previous history with our colleagues on the other side that didn't necessarily bode well for our case. Old grudges would only distract us from doing our best.

They played dirty according to Ed Senior as he informed me that afternoon in the conference room. I liked the guy and wondered about the estrangement between the two men, father and son. I obviously didn't know the whole story, being that I was the new guy; they seemed to be two peas in a pod, alike in so many ways and however professional they were on the job, the lingering tension between them laced their every conversation.

As I stood talking to Ed Senior, Edward walked in and engaged us in a stilted and very arrogant conversation that pissed me off. He had the nerve to ask me if I was "ready for this" I was going to have to have a talk with the boy…that was no way to operate in a law practice. Avoidance gives the opposition the upper hand, I should know, I learned from the best; Peter, the dirtiest player ever.

I reminded myself that I was viewing Edward through the lens of a colleague observing all his flaws, and not as an immensely competent well respected attorney possessed of a fearsome record of wins who had brought huge fees to the firm. He was widely admired as a relentless advocate and I needed to understand and respect his strengths; learn to separate his personal issues from the professional.

"Jasper," he called. "Has Bella finished the deposition schedule yet? I want it set by Friday." He stood and walked out of the office oblivious to Maria as she walked past him into the conference room.

"Edward, I've got it right here" Maria sighed, holding up the folder. "Bella e-mailed it to you earlier today before she went home sick."

_Shit!_ I thought to myself, there's no way she went home sick, Edwards callousness to her feelings sent her home of that I'm sure. This boy needs remedial lessons in sensitivity to the female species. As a gay man, I could relate to her pain. We definitely needed to talk.

Regardless of what I perceived to be slightly unprofessional behavior in his dealings with his father, I was drawn to his underlying vulnerability, it seeped from his every pore, not to mention he was the hottest thing on two legs I'd seen in my long memory. Why is this boy straight?

Permit me to paint a picture…Imagine Michelangelo's David clothed, tall and lithe, pale skin offset by a ruddy complexion, cheeks often flushed pink as he concentrated on the task at hand. He had a nervous habit of combing his long fingers through his unruly hair, a russet or bronze confection of silk that changed hues depending on how light struck it, worn a bit too long as if he could have cared less about his appearance. That thicket of hair contrasted against his lovely alabaster complexion, long strong neck, Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed unconscious to my observations looking almost good enough to taste. His long slender fingers beat a tattoo on the conference room table as he concentrated; pink tongue flicking out keeping his pouty red lips moist. Large mossy green eyes framed by dark lashes full of something unspoken, expressive almost feminine in their beauty …A dusting of hair at the dip in his collarbone observable once he had unbuttoned the top two buttons of his shirt and loosened his tie causing me to briefly wonder about his "happy trail" before I pulled myself back abruptly from my day dreaming idyll and came to my senses.

_The boy has a fiancée, a sweet and lovely one at that…_

I was reminded for some strange reason of Seth and his clinginess. Edward was very different certainly standoffish, almost unapproachable in contrast the Seth's neediness but my gut told me the boy was a raw nerve ending…He was beginning to fascinate me; we had only had two days of interaction as we worked together although we'd been acquainted much longer, compared to the week long flirtation I'd had with Seth. I was kinda missing my Sethie right now…wanting to nestle into his cool muscular chest as he gripped me to him, but that was not to be, it was in the past, no more.

We continued working diligently, Maria coming and going as we requested files, trial transcripts or boxes of records. We worked collegially albeit without a lot of banter. Edward seemed contained and quiet only occasionally making comments if something struck him as important. Once or twice I looked up and caught his eye…he looked away quickly turning his head away.

I was therefore mystified by Edward's behavior once again seemingly out of character that occurred later that evening after we had spent hours putting together our deposition schedule and timeline with Felix's help.

Mmm, Felix…yeah there was some seriously tasty eye candy. He whirled into the war room late in the afternoon just as dusk approached, binders of investigative materials in hand and we made immediate eye contact. I recognized a kindred spirit (read gay) as he grasped my hand in a firm handshake that just kept going on and on. We sat down, he a little too close to me, Edward separated from us by the length of the conference table as Felix opened his files briefing us on the latest dirt he had dug up on the opposition. I found him funny and flirtatious and he agreed immediately when I asked about his dinner plans implying the three of us would all go to dinner. I had all but forgotten Edward's presence until I looked up and met his eyes.

His hands were behind his head; he was illuminated by a single spotlight shining like a star above him looking like a most beautiful angel, an avenging one it would seem given the fire in his glittering eyes. To all other outward appearances he was the picture of calm, but the air crackled with tension as he arose from his chair, slowly gathered up his files and laptop and left us alone in the war room without further word.

Felix's eyebrows rose slightly but he did not look surprised at Edward's behavior. I assumed wrongly as it turned out that Edward would meet us at the elevator and that we'd head out to dinner together.

The elevator door was open as we arrived Edward holding it for us, his trench coat slung over one arm, briefcase in the other puzzling me as I figured we'd return later for our things.

"Great job with the investigation Felix, that puts us miles ahead." Edward said stiffly but kindly.

"Well thanks, Edward. I'd ask you to join us for dinner but I know that's not something you generally do with the associates." He laughed lightly nudging me; I didn't get the joke.

"Are you coming Edward?" I gave him a meaningful look seeking assurance as I had intended for the two of us to spend dinner getting more familiar as we would be working together for the foreseeable future, with Felix tagging along; he did not acknowledge me, looking away and standing apart from us. "No, you two go on, I'll slog home and review the files. See you tomorrow."

I grasped his arm pulling at him so he would look at me. His eyes flicked at me then away again tugging his arm free and walking ahead of us out of the elevator.

"Why aren't you joining us Edward?" I was suddenly anxious wondering if I'd offended him somehow.

Felix stood apart observing us quietly.

"Jasper, just go and enjoy yourself. I don't want to be a third wheel."

_A "third wheel? _It's not like this is a date or anything, I considered it primarily a working dinner; I was now thoroughly confused. I regarded his strong back as he walked away and gave one last try in convincing this frustrating, mercurial man whom I'm spending way too much time thinking about to join us.

"I'd rather go with you and not him but I understand." I sighed and walked over to Felix's car. We drove away. I watched him standing there watching us…he looked so alone.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Felix was truly pleasant company going on and on as we drove to the restaurant making me laugh. He was engaging and clever not to mention handsome. In another time and place I might have been attracted to him. It turned out in any case that Felix was in a committed relationship with one of the rising Deputy DAs, Caius Volturi, whom I had yet to meet being so new to the Seattle area. Caius, Felix informed me could soon be Seattle's first gay (and out) DA depending on how the fall elections went. Seattle was tolerant and liberal. Felix was proud of his man that much was evident.

We decided on a Moroccan restaurant, Rick's (how very Casablanca). We were seated in short order, removing our shoes and sinking in to the cushions that surrounded the low table. Filmy curtains gave a certain sense of privacy and intimacy while not shutting out our view of other tables completely, Middle Eastern music added to the exotic atmosphere. I loosened my tie removing it and stuffing it in my pants pocket as we ordered our first round of drinks, talking about the firm learning about each other and just generally having a great time. Felix couldn't resist and texted Caius to join us. We decided to wait to order our food until he arrived probably no more than thirty minutes or so.

We had polished off our second round of drinks when Caius arrived. I liked him immediately, he was different than Felix quieter, less flamboyant; his bushy blond hair was combed back neatly, his dark blue suit cutting an elegant line. We shook hands and he proceeded to get comfortable settling in next to Felix giving him a warm kiss as he wrapped an arm around his neck. Felix helped him remove his jacket and tie, rewarding him with another kiss. It was easy to see how much they cared for each other.

Our food finally came, various rice, chicken and beef dishes wonderfully spiced with nuts and fruits. Everything was delicious including the bread, which served as the only utensil at the table other than our fingers. I looked across at…my newest good friends. I could honestly say that we were going to be hanging out again; these two were a riot. A sudden thought occurred to me, why hadn't I thought to call Jacob? He was a friend as well and I'm sure he would have had them in stitches with some of his stories; I regretted not thinking about it earlier, but I was so wrapped up in trying to figure Edward out…

We ate and talked, gossiped and laughed. I got quite a bit of insight into the Cullen clan from these two, it left me feeling somewhat like a voyeur.

"Can you imagine having to work with your old man after he cheated on your mother? Have you met Victoria yet? I think she was the model for Cruella de Ville" Felix laughed out loud.

"I know Edward can't stand his step-mother and I think the feeling is mutual, I mean, she's barely ten years older than him!" While I was greedily taking in all the gossip, I did feel a little dirty relishing in all the trash talk. This was, after all, Edward's life they were so casually mocking.

"Jasper, don't get me wrong, I actually have a great fondness for Edward, he's an incredible intellect and I truly admire him. I just wish he'd loosen up, like tonight, I know he wanted to join us but he wouldn't let himself, the stick up his ass held him in place… it's unbecoming".

We quieted eating our meals enjoying each other's company.

"So Tanya and Edward, I ventured tentatively" Both of their eyes shot up and met mine suddenly quiet. "She's a lovely woman, very sweet from what everyone says…" They nodded in unison offering no further comment. This, from the two magpies who had been crowing the Cullen dirty laundry just moments before.

"So when are they getting married? " They looked at each other, Felix turned back to me and raised his shoulders and hands in the universal "who knows" sign. I furrowed my brow looking at them suspiciously.

"Okay, what gives? I mean you two are willing to give chapter and verse on all things Cullen until I mention Tanya? What's the big secret?"

"Oh, no secret," Felix sighed, "I think the word on the street is don't hold your breath for a wedding anytime soon, I mean, they've already been engaged for five years and they don't even live together…"

"You can't be serious!" I say, releasing my slightly inebriated inner magpie to join the chorus. "Five years, and she's sitting still for that?" I crowed.

"I guess he's waiting for the right time or right someone, Jasper…think about it; you don't stay engaged for five years if you're truly in love" Caius stated, staring meaningfully at Felix.

"What you're saying is that you two are more than likely to marry before Edward and Tanya tie the knot?" They both nod in unison, which makes me laugh but then, I think of the woman who by all appearances is standing by her man. "That's so unfair to Tanya, he should set her free if he doesn't want her."

"Oh, don't feel too sorry for her, she'll get what she truly wants eventually."

"Children?" They laugh out loud as if I've told the funniest joke ever.

"I should give him a piece of my mind," I joke, draining my drink. I've lost count but I think I'll be paying for it in the morning.

"Here's Edward's address" says Felix handing me a card. "I'd go right now if I were you" He rolls his eyes barely able to contain himself.

"I just might do that…" I wiggle my eyebrows at the two of them, which sends them into another paroxysm of excited giggles. They cling to each other lovingly. I want that.

We order desert and more drinks and espresso traditionally prepared, Moroccan style.

I sighed, thinking briefly of Edward, puzzling over the man as I swirl my coffee heavily laced with whiskey. He was penetrating my brain at ever increasing intervals; his piercing eyes haunt me. This was all sorts of wrong. His lonely figure as we left him behind…I put back my fourth or fifth drink and ordered another, encouraged by my partners in crime…er, justice. Thoughts of Seth swirled through my increasingly pickled brain as well, intertwining with my ruminations over Edward. I was starting to get seriously horny and just might march myself over to Seth's Place if I could just remember how to get there…I think I'm really drunk…

"Come on dear Jasper, let's get you on your way." Felix grabs me up waiting as I struggle to find my shoes. "Oh, who needs shoes..."

"You do, it's thirty degrees outside!" He struggles to help me on with my shoes as Caius slips my coat over my arms. They both escort me to a waiting cab giving the driver instructions on where to take me as we exchange numbers and promise to get together again very soon…I love these guys…I fall back into the cab barely able to keep my eyes open.

The cabbie has opened the car door, it squeaks annoyingly…I must have drifted off…in a slight panic I check to ensure I still have my wallet and phone; I locate them feeling better. The cabbie is poking at me directing me to a doorman standing outside a luxurious development, not mine…whose? The doorman takes my elbow and walks with me to the elevator, I'm dimly able to focus on the fact I have no idea where I'm going but he's holding onto a white card, apparently my ticket to paradise? I giggle…the doorman looks at me strangely as he props me up in front of "Unit A, Tenth Floor." He raps on the door and departs. I weave and rap on the door again myself.

I peer into the spyhole wondering where I am. Everything is spinning, I'm a little dizzy.

The door swings open and I come face to face with a bare-chested sleepy faced Edward. He does have a very lovely "happy trail" after all; I want to follow it wherever it leads. Have I died and gone to Heaven?

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

**Edward**

… I stood in the doorway confused and caught off guard by Jasper's sudden late night appearance at my door, slowly dragging one hand through my unruly mane. I was shirtless, barefoot obviously minutes from sleep, my low-slung sleep pants leaving nothing to the imagination. I felt very exposed and vulnerable given where my thoughts had been most of the night. That is, obsessing on the creature that was staring at me drunkenly weaving a bit as he held on to the doorframe for support.

"Jasper" I said roughly clearing my throat, "come in." I stood aside enough for him to enter. He walked past me brushing up against my bare chest with his coat covered shoulder lightly but just enough to light my skin afire; I felt my skin break out in goose flesh, my chest was slightly flushed with obvious desire as he drew back and regarded me, holding my eyes prisoner with his intense gaze. It took every thing I had not to grab him into my arms and ravish his scrumptious albeit inebriated mouth. I curled my hands into fists to keep myself in check.

"What are you doing here?" Jasper looked at me a little confused as if he were wondering the same thing, then stuttered a bashful response,

"I just…I mean…you were…why didn't you come with us tonight, we had a great time…"

Of course they had a great time, I thought, I wasn't there. Why did he care?

"We went to Rick's, had Moroccan. I met Caius, Felix's partner, the two of them were hysterical…" He drifted off looking at me distracted, obviously in his cups. Jasper looking lost, longing for me? If only that were true, must be dreaming. I want him so badly, but I fear hurting him even more. He has no idea of my attraction to him, how close I am to coming out; he's definitely toasted, but still very, very cute.

So my stupid jealously was ill founded and I missed out on a grand evening. Typical idiot move on my part.

"Jasper, you need a place to stay tonight? It's too late for you to find your way home…you can stay here, I have a spare bedroom." I was startled by his quick yes; he looked suddenly exhausted. Why had he drunk so much?

He staggered a little and braced himself against me to keep from falling, the rough fabric of his coat contacted my nipples making me feel a little unhinged. I sat him in the side chair off the foyer and collected myself.

"Here, let me take your coat. I'll get you something more comfortable to sleep in." He allowed me to remove his coat and at the same time slipped out of his shoes. I noticed immediately that they were unlaced, tongues hanging out. Strange…

I left him there in the side chair as I first hung his coat in the closet than rummaged through my drawers for some sleep clothes. Settling on soft flannel pants and a plain white t-shirt I returned and saw that Jasper was out for the count. I smiled at his silly face, all hunched over, mouth open, snoring softly. Right now, as I gaze at him, my heart hurts and I remember why I love him.

I reach over and turn off the foyer light and lock up again. I lean in close to him puzzling as to how I'm going to get this man into bed…his bed, of course, the guest bed the word bed making me weak. I put my arm under his and wrap it around his back as he drapes his arm over my shoulder and I whisper lightly, "Jasper, help me get you to bed" I tug him up onto his feet and his head lolls onto my neck. He sighs and kisses my jaw, brushing his lips along my neck as I move him down the hall towards the spare room. He sucks at my earlobe driving me to distraction.

I could cut diamonds right now, I'm so painfully aware of his everything…

The hand draped over my shoulder pulls back and curls into the hair at the nape of my neck pulling my face towards his. _Oh my fucking God he's going to kiss me_. I want this so bad. His soft whiskey tinged mouth meets my desperately hungry lips and softly brushes against them at first then deepens the kiss, hungrily, breathing harshly searching for my tongue, pushing his tongue against it seeking entrance, our mouths are open, wet, dripping desperate to get as much of each other without causing actual damage.

He pulls my head back sharply gripping my hair almost painfully as he devours my mouth. I give in and pull him against my bare chest momentarily giving in to my lust and push him up against the wall pressing my aching cock against his equally hard member. He is still fully dressed. I still carry his pajamas in one hand although they are now crumpled and balled up between us. I am panting with need. He rocks his hips forward thrusting and driving me temporarily insane as he moans and feverishly kisses and nips at my collarbone, scraping at my nipples. He leans down and suckles me before lightly biting down; I might come from this alone.

I stop and move away from him gaining control of my senses if only briefly. I pull an aroused Jasper into the guest bedroom, finally and he's tugging desperately at his shirt whispering to me…"Sethie, baby I fucking missed you bad". He's so drunk, it's dark and all he can think of is my alter ego. I want to cry, it hurts so badly; but I caused this. His shirt is off followed quickly by his pants until he stands naked, gloriously naked, if unsteadily before me. I look into his lust-filled eyes and he shocks me.

"I want you Edward…Fuck me", he is staring relentlessly at me panting and moaning my name again…me, _my_ name…he flops down on the bed, parting his legs exposing his immense erection to me intentionally vulnerable, his wavy blond locks wild around his face, licking his lips in anticipation. He can't possibly know how I feel about him; I'm rocked by his words and would love nothing better than to grant his every wish.

I can't do it, take full advantage and make love to him in his current state; I want him to be fully with me the next time we touch. He strokes himself, his eyes never leaving my face, I lose control, concede defeat as I drop to my knees before him and run my tongue up his throbbing shaft taking the tip of his cock in my mouth sucking him in. He can't contain himself and thrusts up into my mouth nearly gagging me as he moves in and out rolling his hips like a porn star watching himself in pained pleasure, his chest flushed rosy in his aroused state. I spread his legs further and hum against him drawing pathetic whimpers and moans as he explodes in my mouth collapsing back on the bed. He sighs; throws his arms over his head and is instantly asleep. I lay my head against his thighs as I watch his cock soften. I kiss it once more and draw his sleep pants up his unresponsive body.

It takes a few minutes before I'm able to maneuver his prone form straight on the bed and pull the blankets over him. He's snoring softly, torturously in his inebriated state. I seriously doubt he'll remember much in the morning, which may be for the best; I don't want him to be embarrassed by his actions, I certainly enjoyed every frigging minute without regret. The only negative is that I am left still semi-hard thinking about him and his glorious cock.

I return to my bedroom and finally, more than an hour after I first intended to, crawl into bed but not before I shed my pants. I run my hands over my body stroking my skin lightly thinking about his touch, how his naked body felt. Touching my nipples pulling at them a bit getting myself worked up recalling how he attacked my mouth so relentlessly. I take my cock firmly in hand and stroke myself to release. I am too tired to clean myself properly using the edge of the sheet; I'll strip the bed in the morning. I can't recall a moment I felt more satisfied and at peace. As I drift off to sleep, I realize the only thing better would be if we were wrapped up in each other legs tangled, kissing one other softly as we descend into slumber. I smile and dream of my love sleeping tantalizingly nearby.


	9. Chapter 9

**Blind Faith**

**Chapter 9**

**Jasper**

_As I drift off to sleep, I realize the only thing better would be if we were wrapped up in each other legs tangled, kissing one other softly as we descend into slumber. I smile and dream of my love sleeping tantalizingly nearby._

_

* * *

_

I am awake, lying in an unfamiliar bed, uneasy, confused. It is still night, I would guess three or four in the morning. I passed out, that much is clear, my memories of the previous evening hazy but I wasn't so drunk as to not recognize that Edward had kissed me…no not only just kissed me but gave me the best fucking blow job of my life…

What happens now?

I pulled the covers over me turning on my side wondering whether I should just leave before he wakes up, I'm not sure what I should say…I mean he's straight, right? Was he drunk as well? It seems doubtful.

I want to have a serious talk with Felix and Caius…where the hell do they get off having me dropped off in front of Edwards place in my drunken condition and putting us both in this awkward situation? I mean, what's with the frat boy antics?

Payback is going to be a bitch…

I'm concerned about my job; I've only been at Cullen & Cullen two days and Edward and I need to work together closely, I can't forget that.

I throw the covers off and sit up; my stomach is churning. There's Tylenol and water on the nightstand…how considerate…I chug the water and down the tablets.

I need to leave.

Is Edward gay?

What about Tanya?

I scrub my face with my hands hoping to clear the last of the fuzziness.

Where are my clothes…

I look around and see a neatly folded pile on the dresser; my shoes are on the floor nearby.

Where are the laces? Strange.

I'm definitely going to have a word with Felix…

I flush with embarrassment as I recall my actions last night. Did I actually ask him to _fuck me_? God I hope not! I think I definitely wanted him at the time. I…stop…this is Edward A. Cullen I'm thinking about, the freaking boss's son…what have I done? I sigh and get up in search of a bathroom.

I quickly find the bathroom cross the hall from the room I occupy and quietly…hopefully…relieve myself flushing the toilet…damn, that was loud! I clean up, dousing my face with cold water wishing for a toothbrush…oh, there's a new one placed on the counter obviously meant for me…could this guy be any more perfect?

Must…stop…thinking…about…Edward. I shake myself but make use of the toothbrush.

I'm fully awake.

I need to leave, but Edward's sweetness has me conflicted.

He's so different than the uptight prick I thought I knew...

I really enjoyed his touch last night…

What I can remember…

I mean really, really enjoyed it a lot.

It reminded me of Sethie…

Sethie…

Seth…

Seth.

Edward.

Seth.

Fuck my life…no way…

I'm standing in a bathroom in Edward's home and all I can smell is Seth.

It permeates every aspect of the place.

I turn off the light and am plunged into darkness.

Yup, I might not know him in the light of day, but in the depths of the night…

Sethie is somewhere nearby, possibly lying in Edward's bed…it can't be…

I think I'm going to cry…is it possible for two people to smell exactly the same?

_Brain to Jasper_; _think about it…_

Edward is straight…

Isn't he?

_Brain to Jasper_: _nope, he's gay, dude. You need to get your gaydar re-calibrated. It looks like Felix and Caius had a clue but you dude, sheesh! You embarrass me._

I'm standing in Edward's hallway, just outside his room.

His bedroom door is open and he's tossing in his bed, restless.

He sighs loudly.

All I can hear is Seth…

_Oh my God_…

I lean against the door jamb just outside his room…there he is…

My Sethie…

I actually cry…quietly…I stop myself before I can sniffle…I brush my tears away…

My sweet Seth is lying in Edward's bed…unclothed…barely covered by a sheet…

He startles, his arms fling out before they settle back on his chest.

I knew my Seth would be amazing…

I catch his scent as it wafts towards me from his movements.

What is he dreaming about, I muse...

"Jasper?" A hoarse voice croaks taking me by surprise.

_Hi Seth_…

I'm feeling a little braver…he doesn't know that I know…

"Edward…I…" he props himself up on his elbows, the sheet falls away revealing his flawless body from the hips up…he is glorious.

"Are you crying? Is everything okay?" He is concerned about me.

"Come here, I can't hear you" he reaches an arm out to me…

I walk towards him and squat down next to his bed…

I can't speak, my throat is so full of emotion I'm afraid I'll sob and embarrass myself…

"Jasper, what's wrong?" I reach out and stroke his face, I close my eyes and draw my fingers along his strong jaw…my thumb traces his lips as I curl my hand around the nape of his neck and move up to tangle my fingers in his silky hair. I now know for sure. How could I not have known last night? Maybe subconsciously I did…

"Come lie with me" he whispers seductively "we'll figure this all out tomorrow."

I crawl up onto his bed and stretch out next to him…

"Take those off" he tugs at my (his) sleep pants.

_Your wish is my command_…

I stand and remove my pants revealing my obvious arousal to him.

He touches me lightly drawing his fingers slowly; softly down my length…_Oh my God_…he tugs on my hand pulling me down next to him.

I grasp his face in my hands…I revel in his warm Sethie breath as I feel him press his naked body to mine…we are molded against each other, knees to shoulders…he begins to move his hardness against my aching cock…his breathing accelerates his arms surround me…his hands move up and down my back feeling me…the sensation of his soft touches is almost too much…I pull his face to mine and trace his lips with my tongue; slowly, seductively his mouth opens and his tongue comes out to play…our mouths are open, deep kisses become harder, more urgent as I push him back on the bed and move his legs apart with my knee…he moans my name as we thrust against each other, licking and nipping at every available inch of skin.

"Last night you asked me to fuck you, Jasper," he whispers urgently, needy. "I've never fucked a man…or been fucked by one…I'm basically a virgin in that sense."

I purr against his skin…

"No worries, baby, Rome wasn't built in a day." He giggles…I lick his skin, gently biting his nipples. His back arches as he reacts to my touch and throws his arms back over his head in surrender. His vulnerability urges me on and I reach down caressing his lovely cock, as he spreads himself open for me. My mouth is on him now as I revel in his writhing body…I feel powerful as the one who is giving him this intense sensation. He can't hold himself still…I grab his hips to slow his movements as I suck him hard moaning and driving him mad with pleasure…I feel him still then spasm as he climaxes magnificently falling back into the bed bonelessly.

I crawl up his body and give him a searing kiss. He's clutching me to him as I sense his mood changing…he's crying lightly but won't let me go.

"Edward," I whisper. "I know"

He freezes…

"You're my Sethie"

* * *

**Sorry this is so short but I was compelled to get this out. **


	10. Chapter 10

**Blind Faith**

**Chapter 10**

**Edward**

_I crawl up his body and give him a searing kiss. He's clutching me to him as I sense his mood changing…he's crying lightly but won't let me go._

"_Edward," I whisper. "I know"_

_He freezes…_

"_You're my Sethie"_

_

* * *

_

My eyes are wide…I remain still…trying not to react to his words.

So you know the old adage, be careful what you wish for…?

So I'm so over the top for Jasper, right?

I have done things to get to this man that verge on the illegal. He now calls me out on my worst crime: a gay man who wants to live as a straight man; in denial that he's gay. _He knows I'm his Sethie_.

Sethie?

Yeah, I have issues.

I bury my face in his neck delaying the time I need to face him.

All I want, all I care about is wound around my limbs and my heart at this very moment. I pull his lean torso closer.

I'm feeling hopeful from his reaction…maybe he won't hate me after all.

What gives me pause is the case we are working on together…I honestly believe we can work together regardless of what happens between us.

This case is my life right now…

I need to keep my focus…

Obviously I'm hoping all ends well and I get my man, my Jasper…when all is _**said and done**__…(hurry up with the epilogue!)_

I'm determined to bring those corporate bloodsuckers down, however; the assholes that consider the idle death acceptable risk; collateral damage as it were…I won't rest until we win so no more children will die from their faulty product…After the video I saw, I have not been the same. Can't think about that right now…Jasper will need to see then he might understand what's driving me.

Can Jasper wait for me under these circumstances assuming, that is that he's interested in me, Edward, rather than Seth? I can't be his boyfriend, his lover, I can't come out to everyone until the case is over and I will not give those assholes one ounce of ammunition. I won't compromise and lose this case even if it means risking any possible relationship with Jasper.

Last night at the Museum Jasper had told Seth (me) he could never be with anyone in a closeted relationship. He was angry and pushed me away. What does he really feel now that he realizes I'm his Seth? Will he walk away when I tell him I can't come out as a gay man yet? Should I just do the right thing and let him go?

I laugh quietly into Jasper's neck musing, I don't even know if he cares for me…last night might have been a random hookup aided and abetted by Felix and his boyfriend. I'm even angrier at Felix now that it occurs to me how vulnerable Jasper was in his drunken state.

I run my hands up his back, smooth velvet overlaying strong sinewy muscle. His hips move towards me once again teasing me with soft brushes of skin on skin, his strong arms embrace me as he hums my name…It's been so long since I've had the comfort of a warm body in my bed albeit never a man before Jasper… but Jasper is so much more…I fear he's the love of my life…Yes, I fear that…

It's me; I created this awful situation due to my extreme desire for Jasper and my obsessive need not to be found out…

As I think back over the last week; yes! Only a week, all I can see is his face. Now here he is in my arms…is this real?

I allowed my emotions to run rampant in a moment of weakness and I shed tears. Jasper responded to my outpouring of emotion, cradling me gently stroking my face, whispering words of comfort, but that cannot be allowed.

I stiffen and move away from him…I feel his confusion as I rise without a word and leave him alone in our bed…he reclines, eyeing my every move; is he resigned to the fact I could let him go? Why does he look so sad?

He sits up and tugs at my hand unable to let me go…he kisses me deeply as I lay back down against his naked form, reveling in how we fit together…words seem unnecessary in fact, superfluous.

He clears his throat as he continues to hold me close:

"Edward, you're pulling away from me…where did you just go?" He is kissing down my throat across my collar bone licking and nipping at my shoulder…this is so intimate…so loving. I'm suddenly frightened and overwhelmed by what I've done.

I roll off the bed and move away again. My naked self is turned away from him, staring out the window, silhouetted by the first signs of diffuse light signaling dawn.

"I love you Jasper, I have since the moment I first spied you in our offices. I know that to you this is all new and recent, but for me, I've been waiting months to get a chance to be close, to touch you. I've never acted on my feelings for men before"

"I felt like a stalker…how could I know you, guarantee you would be mine, I saw how everyone in the office looked at you, how the women (and men) lusted after you. Jasper, I was a desperate man and acted irrationally…"

"I never wanted anyone as much as I wanted you."

"It was stupid, but I was so sick of hiding who I was…I used you in the worst way possible"

Jasper is suddenly standing next to me… he grabs me by the waist and uses all of his strength to pull me into him, flesh on flesh, desire, overriding reason. I struggle uselessly, flailing my arms until they descend around his neck and we kiss each other deeply, lovingly, swaying against each other. We stand together embracing as the room slowly brightens.

"Oh, baby…" he sighs as he tightens his hold on me. " I knew I was a goner the first time you touched me in the darkness…"

I ache for this man, it's hard to imagine being away from him but reality intrudes.

"I want you so badly…but hear me Jasper, and please don't cut me out but understand…I'm willing to be everything to you, just not out as a couple…at least not until this case is over"

Its likely Jasper is as invested in this case as I am but for different reasons: he wants to prove himself worthy of Cullen & Cullen. He will do that without breaking a sweat, he's that talented. I have no doubt that the two of us with Maria and Felix's help are an imposing, intimidating legal team. There's risk in that, we will be targeted by opposing counsel trying to bring us down hence, the need to lay low.

"Edward, I can't do that." I look at Jasper, his sad eyes tell a moving story of grief and loss. "I promised myself after Peter, my ex and yes, I know it's too soon to get into our pasts just that our relationship grew toxic and manipulative. I swore that I would never be dishonest about who I was, I don't want that in my life. I do want you, Edward, I want to see what could be with us; I just think we might be moving too fast. I have to tell you though, last night at the museum I really felt manipulated. It's why I needed to get away from you. I was more afraid than angry that I might succumb to the hunger I had for you. And then…" He laughs, "There you were "Edward Anthony Masen Cullen" a work of art, a thing of beauty to be admired by all asking me to join you…wow…I should have known, but I'm thankful you were Seth since I'm attracted to both of you, uh…I mean you're both you…Ugh! This is so confusing…" I laugh lightly and blush at his compliment ducking my head even though I'm very sad.

Jasper traces a path down my chest with his fingertips, lower to my abdomen sending a warm surge of desire through me…around my back, both hands are moving now, up and around my shoulders gripping me forcefully kissing me hard. He moves against my growing arousal, panting my name rubbing against me until I can't stand it anymore. He stills and moves away from me.

"I'm just memorizing the feel of you in case…just in case…this is the last time…" We gaze at each other like starving beasts…immense pain fills my heart. My eyes close of their own accord; I reach out and grasp his hand, entwining our fingers unable to be apart from him. A single sob escapes me but I pull it together and take a deep breath.

"Jasper, I know you're right; neither one of us is in a decent place to make decisions about a possible future, a relationship…as much as I'd like to be we're both works in progress I suppose…you with your past relationship issues and me…well, and I'm just a flaming coward." I sigh; he can't help but giggle at my choice of words. "Well that's only part of it… Honestly, I really need to fix things with Tanya…_now_. I love her but not the way she deserves. I'm having dinner with Emmett, my brother tonight. I'm going to come out to him. I'm planning on talking to Tanya Friday night."  
"Wait! Emmett is your brother?" Jasper says startled. "Wow I guess if anyone would understand it would be Emmett. I met him at Seth's Place last Friday, the night we first met. He was in the bar holding court. I immediately liked him, that he was gay and so comfortable in his own skin…"

"Jasper, Emmett's not gay…Oh my God that's so hysterical but I could see how it happened" I can't contain my laughter as I plop back down on the bed. Jasper is eyeing me quizzically.

"Emmett is more like my step-brother…ish. We're not blood relations. It's hard to explain, it would take a while…"

"He doesn't know I am aware of Seth's place. I had to badger James to keep his mouth shut. I think James believes I'm an insolent prick but desperate times call for desperate measures"…I wink at him.

"Emmett loves to hang out but can't get privacy in regular clubs; the women won't let him be. At Seth's he can relax and talk trash without worrying about being hit on. At least by the ladies"…I wiggle my eyebrows

"In any case, Emmett will understand I'm sure of it; in fact, he'll probably be pissed I waited so long to tell him but I'm certain he can keep my secret. I don't think I can tell Tanya until my parents know and that may be a while, definitely not before the end of the trial."

Jasper sits down next to me again and glances towards the window. It's light out now. He takes my hand.

"That's the best I can do Jasper, I can't jeopardize the outcome of the trial. I'm very concerned about Edward Senior's reaction…truthfully, I'm scared shitless…we're not exactly close and I recognize he's probably not a homophobe but I am his only son and I'm sure he's always assumed that Tanya and I would give him grandchildren. I can't stand the thought of him pulling me off the trial, it would kill me…" I hang my head as Jasper puts an arm around my shoulder. I lean into him and rest my head against his.

"Jasper, I want to be with you…" I whisper, eyes closed, knowing what I'm going to hear…my voice is tremulous, needy. That's never been me except for now, with this man.

He lifts my hand to his lips kissing my knuckles.

"Thank you for telling me, it helps to understand where you're coming from." Jasper becomes quiet, it scares me; I feel him slipping away.

"I really care about you Edward, a lot, more than I wanted to care about anyone at this stage of my life and I know that I, at least, am not ready to be involved." Here it comes…

"I…I…need some time…I've barely been here two weeks and on the job only a few days; it's all happened so fast…"

He releases my hand, but pauses to brush the hair away from my eyes, lingering at my temple.

"I should get home, we've got to be at work by 9 o'clock."

I nod my head slowly, unable to look at him.

He rises from our bed…Oh God…

I am in love with him, that much I have known since the second I saw him, oh, yes, I would die for my sweet man…

…He's dressed in his clothes from last night looking a little ragged. His wheat colored hair is a tangled mess. What is up with his shoes? They're unlaced and the tongues are hanging out…strange…

I can't seem to formulate a coherent sentence; all I can think to do is try and hold on to my memory of Jasper, afraid he's going to disappear and leave me. Rationally I know we need to get to work in the next few hours and Jasper needs to go home and change. I'll see him in a couple of hours but the dynamic will have tilted on its axis. If I ever needed my strength, my professionalism it is now. I will not allow my weakness to affect the court case.

My emotions are overwhelming me, I'm embarrassed to have lost control but he does this to me…since the moment I first saw him, I've stopped at nothing to be close to him…

He is standing, a lonely figure in my foyer looking as forlorn as I feel; hands in pockets looking at his shoes. I wonder if he's puzzling over the lack of laces as well…

"Do you want something to eat or drink?" ...I'm delaying the inevitable, the tightness in my chest unbearable.

He shakes his head no without looking up.

"Edward…if I could I…"

"Stop" I say…"It's okay, I understand, please don't say anymore"

He looks up; his eyes are bloodshot and tear-filled. He turns from me and walks to the front door.

"Just promise me something Jasper…If…if you do hook up with someone, please make sure I don't find out; I don't think I can stand the thought of anyone touching you."

I turn and walk into the bathroom closing the door. I hear the front door close. I turn on the water and plunge myself in finally allowing my emotions to flood to the surface as I let my agony out.


	11. Chapter 11

Thanks you all for the lovely reviews, it encourages me to keep writing!

**Blind Faith**

**Chapter 11**

**Jasper**

"_Just promise me something Jasper…If…if you do hook up with someone, please make sure I don't find out; I don't think I can stand the thought of anyone touching you." _

_I turn and walk into the bathroom closing the door. I hear the front door close. I turn on the water and plunge myself in finally allowing my emotions to flood to the surface as I let my agony out._

I stood on the other side of Edward's front door forcing myself to refrain from walking back inside and taking him in my arms, telling my sweet boy I wasn't serious that I would, in fact, be his dirty little secret.

_My Sethie…I miss you already…_

Tears threatened to fall from my tired eyes, I'm sure I looked a fright.

I could feel an addiction to him building; my God, he was the most glorious, magnificent specimen…he had no idea how I hungered for him and now that he was revealed to me…Edward…my hands twitched in their desire to course over his flesh again…to bite and lick his skin…to pull him tight against my body…I just wanted to hold him.

My feet, encased in the stupidest looking shoes I've ever seen pushed me forward and away from Edward…

…I flagged down a passing cab as I reached the street getting in and provided my address before I could run back to him.

This was the right thing to do, however painful, I mused; I just hope we get a chance to be together some day the way I think we both want.

I fear Edward will never truly be able to live openly as a gay man and the thought dashes what little hope I have.

With that gloomy thought in mind, I refreshed my body and my clothing leaving for work and able to make it in by 9:00. A hot cup of coffee cures all ills and in my case, will help keep me alert. The lack of sleep last night will catch up with me this afternoon…I'll go straight home and sleep like the dead, I'm certain.

I fiddled with my laptop getting it started as I looked at today's agenda. More meetings with Edward and the team…I sigh and gather up my files arriving at the war room before the rest of the team.

So far, there is no sign of Edward.

This concerns me; Edward is the consummate professional and his habit is to be conspicuously punctual. His absence is being noted…knowing how I left last night or rather, early this morning I worry…

The schedule for today is continued strategy meetings, which will include Edward Senior and Carlisle later in the morning. As I scan my e-mail Felix strolls in plops himself down in a chair and tosses his files on the table.

I feel my anger at his manipulation simmering but this was not the place or the time to engage…

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Felix snickered at me; I wanted to slap that smug smile off his grinning face…

"Sooo… Jasper, how'd it go with Edward last night?" He spun in his chair like the juvenile he was…What Caius saw in him…sigh…I looked up in time to see Edward pass by just then, briefcase in hand heading for his office. He did not look our way.

…_A wave of relief washed over me, we seemed okay_…

"Hmmm? Oh, he was nice enough to let me crash on his couch until I sobered up." I wanted to distract him; there was no desire on my part to continue the discussion.

I rose from the chair deciding to return to the conference room later…the atmosphere in the room was cloying.

"You look like hell Jasper…" his investigator's eyes pierced into me looking for answers. Damn, he was good…

"Thanks for your help with that" I responded acidly. "I want you to know I barely remember dinner although I'm sure it was good…by the way, what happened to my shoes? They're ruined…"

Felix rolled his eyes and pulled out his files suddenly serious.

Edward stood in the doorway, coffee in hand, Bella right behind him carrying his laptop and files.

Edward was dressed conservatively in a black pinstripe suit, white shirt and blood red tie. He looked like a model straight out of GQ. He appeared fresh, as if nothing out of the ordinary happened the previous evening. Okay…I get it. He had his big boy shoes on…

Edward's face was as impassive as ever as he barely glanced at me giving me only the slightest nod in acknowledgement. He walked briskly to his place across from us at the conference room table.

Bella placed his files on the table and hooked up his laptop fussing over Edward looking at him with those large doe eyes of hers…

_Yuck!_

"Thanks Bella." Edward smiled at her kindly…she practically ignited right there in the conference room…poor girl…

"Can you have lunch brought in? It's going to be a long day…I also want the AV set up so I can hook my laptop up to the video feed."

Maria walked in just then passing by me and slapping my ass..._the nerve of some women_…

"Are you showing it today, Edward?" she asked as she took her place at the table.

"Yes, it's time." He responded grimly. "Edward Senior and Carlisle will be joining us so make sure to order enough food for a large group." Edward pulled open his files as he stood over them sipping his coffee. He looked up glancing at me then at Bella. "Oh, and make sure the blinds are closed" Bella departed closing the blinds to the hallway and effectively isolating the four of us in the room.

I felt a bit awkward because I realized this was Edward's big reveal…not in an ostentatious sense, the guy just had built his entire identity around taking these fuckers down. I was on board but I sensed that I was just about to be let into the tent.

Edward brushed very close to me but the fucker was all business…his every nerve ending said don't fuck with me today…_well okay sir_…

I watched him closely as he connected his laptop to the projection equipment engrossed in what he was doing.

To call Edward gorgeous was to understate the case…he was miraculous in his stunning beauty, I recognized in him now his understated kindness and lack of artifice. His shyness causes him all sorts of grief I can see now knowing him better, making him appear to be aloof. I sigh as I realize I must have hurt him deeply last night in rejecting a relationship with him at this point in our lives; I wonder momentarily whether I've blown the opportunity of a lifetime. I close my eyes and picture Edward as he was last night in my arms; vulnerable…loving…naked…

"Jasper, can you plug in the cord, I can't quite reach…" I'm jolted out of my reverie to find Edward holding out a cord towards me from across the table. His eyes meet mine and for a brief moment _my Sethie_ appears but quickly he is blinked away…

"Oh, sure…" I leap out of my seat and reach out to take the cord from his hands. He catches my pinkie with his fingers and squeezes briefly looking down; then pulls his hand away. Was that accidental or some sort of signal…I can't read him as his back is to me now arranging his display materials. I plug the cord into the control panel in the center of the table and resume my seat dragging my mind back to the job at hand.

Maria is watching me closely as is Felix.

"_What?_" I mime. Edward's back is still towards us…I sip at my coffee watching the two of them over the rim of my cup. They both snicker quietly, which I find highly annoying…Has Felix shared last night's events? It would appear to be the case. I need a moment alone with my investigative colleague so that I can strangle his highly amused neck; he is messing with my mojo and quite enjoying my discomfort. He makes a kissy face at me, which I choose to ignore burying myself in the paperwork before me…

The conference room door opens and the elder brothers Cullen enter moving regally to take their seats murmuring between themselves and their hovering assistants. Once they are adequately plied with coffee and rolls, fluffed and pampered, their aides depart.

…On with the show…

When everyone had arranged themselves to be able to view the video, Edward sat at his laptop appearing to gather himself…He clicked a few buttons and started to speak…

"What we are going to watch is a video made by one of the plaintiffs. It is very important to become intimately familiar with the details of the events depicted as this is one of the critical pieces of evidence for our case. This video was not available during the criminal trial which is a shame because I'm fairly certain the outcome would have been different. I warn you, some of the scenes are hard to watch…" Edward paused and looked directly at me"…however, if you chose to be a part of this case you must watch it in its entirety…likely many times so steel yourself."

With that Edward clicked his mouse and the screen lit up. I looked at him but he was staring straight ahead, the light from the screen flickering off of his face; devoid of all emotion…

I looked back at the screen; what I saw was pretty innocuous. Someone, likely the mother was videotaping a lovely little girl; it appeared they were decorating for her birthday party.

"_Hi Bree, look over here, look at Mommy, there's my big girl!"_

The little girl, Bree could not have been more than three but she was a lovely little thing. What stood out were her crystal blue eyes fringed by long lashes and sweet dimpled smile. She had a cloud of curly blonde hair tied up in a pink ribbon which matched the ribbon on her white eyelet dress. She looked like a perfect princess awaiting her subjects. She was dancing and skipping around the brightly decorated room festooned with balloons and colorful garlands. Soft children's music was playing in the background as she joined in attempting to sing along. Her mother laughed, a bell like sound full of happiness, attracting the attention of the man who appeared to be cleaning the backyard pool.

The man, most likely the father smiles at the woman drops the leaf skimmer and enters inside passing his little daughter ruffling her locks.

"No, Daddy, no touch my haiw, I'm a pwincess!" She flounces off as the man approaches the woman with a big smile on his face. He gets close to her and mugs for the camera…obviously hugging her and coming in for a kiss.

"_How's my big princess doing? Are we ready for the madness of twenty kids…?"_

"_Mmmm, I hope so…"_

The video camera continues to run capturing the shaky action behind them as they kiss…what it captures is a horror…little Bree has wandered outside and has picked up the leaf skimmer eyeing it and glancing back at her parents. She determinedly plops it into the water leaning forward as she certainly has seen her father do many times…

**No no**, I think…**stop and turn around before it's too late**, my heart starts pounding and I want to shout at the video **STOP HER!**

All rational thought has left me, I become desperate to change the past…I find myself standing, crouching slightly ready to act.

…she is such a little thing and as she leans forward she falls in…

**Fuck!** The light splash catches her parent's attention and they move quickly.

"_Bree! Bree! David she's fallen in!"_

Dad moves rapidly sprinting back outside diving into the pool. Bree has not been under the water more than ten seconds a period of time unlikely to cause permanent damage.

Mother is screaming but continues holding the video, probably peering at the happenings through the viewfinder unconscious of her actions.

Dad surfaces panicking.

"_Call 911"_ He gasps, "_she's stuck on the bottom! I can't get her up" _he moans in agony as he dives back down.

Mom sets the camera down and runs screaming inside to call. Dad surfaces again panting and crying as he is desperately trying to save his little girl.

**Go Dad, save her…Fuck! This is agonizing!** I realize I'm pulling at my hair and gasping as if I'm out of breath.

He dives back down surfacing a short time later tossing a pink ribbon to the deck and dives once again. Mom is back moaning; she jumps in to the pool to help diving deep.

Far in the background a doorbell rings…even further in the distance, the faint wine of sirens approaching…will they get here in time?

Dad and mom surface both crying, yelling she slaps his face. "_Fix her! She's bleeding_!" Mom screams as they dive again.

"_Turn off the fucking skimmer"_ He yells at her. Mom swims to the side pulling herself out and switches off the skimmer...

…Silence…

**No no no…**

This time when he surfaces, he is holding a bloody bundle barely recognizable as a child. Dad is crying, Mom has collapsed on the deck in grief and two horrified young party guests stand with their mother frozen as the paramedics run around the side of the house…

Five minutes and forty-two seconds after the video started, the paramedics arrive but it is already too late.

Bree Richards has been effectively disemboweled by the underwater leaf-skimmer…

Edward clicks his mouse to end the video.

I'm breathing heavily and realize I'm about to cry. I hunch over as Carlisle rounds the table offering comfort.

Edward regards me…his hands clench and I know he wishes it were he with his arms around me offering comfort.

"That little girl and two others like her, maybe more are what this case is all about; the lies those bloodsuckers told to keep that product on the market, well, I want to drain them of every dollar just as efficiently as their machine drained those little children and their poor parents of their lives."

Edward sits down as the lights come back up. He puts his head in his hands…I understand his passion better. I can only hope to be as dedicated as he is in order to bring them to justice.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

**Edward**

The look of horror on Jasper's face was wrenching. Although the rest of us had seen it before, this was Jasper's first time. His eyes met mine and I knew he understood now why I was so driven to bring those bloodsuckers to justice. The assholes at Jason Electronics and their counsel Craig Matthews of Volturi Partners, especially had prevailed at the criminal trial but I was determined they would lose in civil court and pay dearly.

It was late after we finished our discussions, Edward Senior and Carlisle weighing in as we discussed the upcoming depositions. We worked through lunch; I noticed Jasper seemed distracted and barely touched any of the food Bella had brought in. Watching the video had deeply affected him. Good.

"Matthews is putting out not so subtle signals that he's going to question the parents' attentiveness. He's looked into their driving records and found that mom had a DUI in college. Dad's not around anymore…the guilt got to him and he committed suicide. Mom's an alcoholic mess so of course they'll try and shift blame to the parents, primarily her. It worked somewhat in the criminal trial but then it's nearly impossible to get a guilty verdict in a product liability case."

I chewed on an apple not really hungry knowing I still had dinner with Emmett to get through.

I watched as visibly shaken Jasper rose from his chair and gathered his things. I wanted to comfort him but could think of nothing suitable that I could say to soothe him.

He opened the conference room door and practically walked into Jacob. A jolt of jealousy flashed through me as I watched his usually smiling face turn serious as he observed Jasper's demeanor. Jacob placed his hand on Jasper's shoulder and they walked off together towards Jasper's office.

_I need to get out of here…_

Bella walked in smiling shyly ready to help me get the files gathered up. Why did my skin crawl when she did that…? She stood way too close to me leaning over and pressing her body against my side as she reached past to grab my files. I stepped back to give her room and her face dropped. Damn!

"Edward…Um…uh…um…the…"

Fuck! She makes me want to hyperventilate!

"Um…uh…the Company Picnic…food…planning…" she was wringing her hands; I was feeling twitchy with unexpressed irritation.

"Oh yes…why don't put some time on my calendar… " I gathered up my things.

"Bella, I'm going to head out to dinner…"

"D-dinner?" She said hopefully…

"With my brother." That was cold but necessary. Bella needed to get the hint and I was tired of feeling like the bad guy because she couldn't get over her crush on me. I wanted so badly to scream, _"I'm gay, you idiot"_ but that would be rude.

"Thanks for your help today Bella, I'm sure you can get the rest of the room picked up without my help. I'll take my files and laptop back to my office." I was not about to encourage her in any way. Her lip quivered and I cringed knowing her eyes would start leaking soon. I couldn't get out of there fast enough, practically sprinting back to my office.

As I approached, I heard murmurs of conversation coming from Jasper's office. I was curious but couldn't bring myself to intrude. I texted Emmett letting him know I'd meet him at Monty's at 7 o'clock; as I did, I noticed that my phone displayed three missed calls; two from Tanya, one from my father. My pulse quickened but I chose not to check the messages at this point.

I rolled down my shirtsleeves and put my jacket back on. I decided not to bring my files home tonight; it was unlikely I'd get anything done as I expected to be out late.

I turned to lock up my office and as I did, out of the corner of my eye saw Jacob leave from Jasper's office. He turned and paused as I saw Jasper standing at the door talking with him. Jacob patted his shoulder and looked up at me with a look of disdain or was that jealousy…a challenging look in any case as he turned and walked away. _What the hell was that all about?_ I worried momentarily that Jasper had been indiscreet about us with Jacob but I put that thought aside…for now.

I waved at Jasper smiling slightly attempting to maintain professional demeanor…I walked towards him…well I had to pass his office to get to the elevator. I stopped in front of Jasper, his sad eyes reflecting a multitude of emotions.

"I didn't get a chance to ask before but are you okay?" I said quietly, glancing around. We were alone. "That video is hard to watch and I really didn't warn you strongly enough beforehand…" I couldn't chance touching him as badly as I wanted to…

"I'm good Edward, I get why you needed for me to see the video, it's better that you didn't warn me; it would have diminished the impact. I know why you're working so hard on this now." He looked away, down the hall towards where Jacob had gone.

"Good luck tonight, Edward…give my regards to Emmett" he smiled wryly at his only allusion to what had passed between us. I couldn't resist and lightly brushed my fingers against his. His breathing hitched.

"Thanks, Jasper, I'll make sure to say hi from you" I rolled my eyes smiling at him feeling suddenly better about life.

"Oh and Edward," he whispered, leaning towards me conspiratorially "I think my sister has a crush on Emmett. I don't know if I mentioned that my sister is Rosalie Hale…it was weird when I thought he was gay but now…"

"No way!" I exclaimed catching Jacob's attention as he walked towards us. "Rosalie Hale the television personality and my goofy brother?"

"Yes, way" he responded raising his eyebrows and effectively ending our conversation when he turned towards Jacob.

"Ready?" Jacob asked Jasper as he looked towards me, his eyes hard; a glittering obsidian.

"We're meeting Rosalie and her friend Alice for dinner" Jasper said as if he needed to explain which he didn't but it did save my mood knowing it wasn't just Jacob alone he'd be spending the evening with.

"Have fun, I'm off to meet up with Emmett" I smiled as the two of them walked in front of me towards the elevator. We all rode down to the first floor together and separated as we walked through the garage to our cars. I reached mine first and waved goodbye. I turned for one last look and again it was Jacob looking back at me as he put his arm around Jasper's shoulder and they walked off. _Was he trying to make me jealous_? If yes, it worked!

I slammed my door shut and resisted the urge to squeal out of the lot. It was close to 7 o'clock so I headed out immediately to the restaurant.


	12. Chapter 12

**Blind Faith**

**Chapter 12**

**Edward**

_I slammed my door shut and resisted the urge to squeal out of the lot. It was close to 7 o'clock so I headed out immediately to the restaurant._

**.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.**

I drove away frustrated and angry wondering what was up with Jacob. It bothered me greatly that he was so comfortable touching, basically pawing Jasper. Was it possible that given my closeted status that Jasper would move on? Did he feel anything for me at all? I dragged my fingers through my hair in frustration. Today was a difficult day in so many ways, I was distracted and not up to par, deeply hurt that Jasper had so easily rejected me, despite the moment we shared this morning. I worried he was slipping from my grasp.

I calmed myself as I drove to meet Emmett, trying to find the courage and confidence to be honest about who I am. If nothing else, my experience with Jasper clarified my sexuality and that I could no longer live a closeted life. Whatever the consequences, I needed to be honest with those close to me. Truthfully, I was concerned about the repercussions and was focused on how to time my admissions without affecting the case. Could I do both or did I need to wait. Emmett's common sense and insight would be invaluable.

I drove in and parked my car, taking a moment to breathe before I entered the restaurant…

Emmett arrived before me and had stationed himself at the bar drink in hand. He was an imposing man instantly drawing attention, steely blue eyes twinkled and dimpled cheeks gave him an engaging demeanor that made women flock to him. It didn't hurt that he was tall and athletic a pro football player which only added panache.

I stood back and observed by stepbrother; how confident he was, if only I could be a fraction of who he was. His personality sparkled; he was genuinely interested in what people had to say. Emmett wasn't afraid to be himself heck; he was unafraid to be seen at a gay bar regardless of the assumptions others might make. If only I could garner a bit of his courage I might be able to be free from my self-imposed prison.

How would he react to the news I was going to share? I mean, Emmett's no homophobe, we've never discussed gay issues but would that change how he viewed me as his brother? I walked towards him, he looked up catching my eye, smiling broadly.

"Hey bro'!" He slapped me on the back and signaled to the waitress that we were ready for our table.

We followed her swaying hips back to a quiet table that offered a modicum of privacy. The waitress whose name was Claire couldn't resist leaning into Emmett as she handed us our menus and Emmett being Emmett couldn't resist copping a feel. She let out a little squeal…_disgusting_…

Emmett plied me with a couple of scotches as we waited for our appetizers to arrive. I loosened up and we engaged in meaningless conversation catching up with each other pausing to place our orders.

My nerves were on edge anticipating my disclosure, worried about our relationship. What would he say to my revelation?

"So as happy as I am to see you, it's not like you normally ask me to dinner so what gives?"

"Hey maybe I just wanted to hang with my brother, is that such a shock?" I took a long gulp from my drink, realizing my response was lame. He saw through me, squinting his eyes taking on a serious expression.

"I love you too baby but you are all sorts of nervous, this isn't the you I'm used to so again, what gives?"

"Like I said, it's been a while…just…wanted to get together…Oh, here's our food," He glared at me. I gulped, sweating bullets.

We started in on our appetizers as I tried to search for words to explain myself. It's not like I can just blurt it out right? Shouldn't I have some appropriate build up, explain how I came to this realization, how long and tortured my exploration had been, why the hell I was still with Tanya? I chose to blurt.

"I'm gay" There, I'd said it. That was easy…_kind of anticlimactic actually_.

"So when did you finally figure it out?" he talked though a mouth full of potato skins so it came out kind of garbled…

"I'm sorry, did you say finally?"

"Dude, you scream gay." I had no idea…

"You know, I'm really proud of you but I'm curious, why now?"

I was still on the "you scream gay" comment puzzling over the implications.

"Uh, well the truth is I've been fighting with myself for years because I just didn't want to be gay. I really wanted kids, house, and a traditional life. I pretty much had suppressed that part of me that found men attractive, reconciled myself to marrying Tanya and settling into family life."

"I don't mean to interrupt but you do know how unfair to Tanya that is? I mean she's practically our sister; I could mess you up over that, I almost did when you announced your engagement but thankfully you've come to your senses...You are going to tell her right?" He said in warning.

"Yes, we're having dinner Friday. She's called me a couple of times and I haven't called her back. I feel like an ass."

"Don't expect me to disagree with you Ed. Anyway, you were telling me about why you're coming out now"

Our dinner arrived and we took some time to eat in silence as I pondered my next response. How do I explain Jasper; Seth's Place…will he kill me when he knows what I did?

I took a sip of my drink and continued to stall…I decided to go with the truth.

"I met a guy I can't get over…it's making me rethink everything I thought I ever wanted for my life…"

"Wow Edward, that's big…so who's the lucky guy?" Emmett had stopped eating, a minor miracle, and was peering at me intently.

"You've actually met him, he started at C&C Monday but I've had a thing for him since he interviewed a couple of months ago. The first time I saw his face I knew I had to have him." I sighed recalling the long almost two-month wait for Jasper's arrival.

"So are you going to tell this guy how you feel?"

"Oh he already knows in a big way how I feel" I gulped, knowing it was for the best just to get everything out.

"I hooked up with him at Seth's Place, I had James set it up. He had no idea it was me at first, but he figured it out last night."

"How the hell did you manage that?" He said sharply, clearly irritated with me in my deceit. He put his fork down, I had his full attention and not in a good way, I could tell by the way his voice started to raise…I had to shush him.

"Well I went incognito. Hell, James is very pissed at me, basically told me to leave him alone but I can't…the only way he would ever be with me is in an open and out relationship; I'm trying to get there, you're my first stop.

Jasper knows I'm telling you tonight." His eyes grew wide.

"Jasper? I met that guy he's…he's…perfect for you…" A big smile broke out on his face but any happiness he felt for me was quickly dampened by his distaste for what I had done.

"Dude, don't hurt him with your stupidity, stay away until you have your shit together." He warned me that he'd be watching and that he wanted to meet Jasper.

"Well we probably should have eaten at Damien's because that's where he went with his sister her friend and _some guy from work_." I couldn't bring myself to acknowledge _what's-his-face_.

Any way, his sister is Rosalie Hale, you know, _**the**_ Rosalie Hale. Apparently your goofy self impressed her when she interviewed you. Turns out, Jasper says she's got a little thing for you" I winked at him.

He sat across from me open-mouthed momentarily struck dumb. Then something occurred to him; I could see the wheels turning.

"I think she's hot, I almost asked her out that day but lost my nerve. Say…" he was plotting something nefarious, I could tell.

"So you like Jasper…right?

"Yes…"

"…and I like Rosalie, right?

"Yes…"

"a-n-n-n-d…they're at Damien's right…?"

"Ye-e-e-e-s…"

"…so what are we doing here at Monty's?

Text Rose we're on our way!"

I did as requested. The group was no longer at Damien's but were going over to Kelly's a popular sports bar. I was uncomfortable with the thought of seeing Jasper tonight again with Jacob but Emmett was so eager to talk to Rosalie I gave in as long as I had a chance to go home and quickly change out of my suit. Emmett was already dressed casually.

I opted for a pair of black jeans and a moss green button up shirt. I swapped shoes and headed downstairs locking up as I headed for my car. I wasn't sure where Kelly's was so I decided to follow Emmett there. I couldn't stay late in any case due to early morning work commitments.

We parked and walked over to the place. It was hopping with activity, very crowded, as it was still a novelty. I wondered how we were going to find the group when I spied Jasper walking towards me with a big smile on his gorgeous face. He forgot himself momentarily and gave me a hug. Actually, he plastered himself against my side and kissed my neck…I could have tackled him right then and there but discretion got the better of me.

Wow, what a greeting…if he didn't want me what would have happened if we'd been out and together?

"Jasper Whitlock, this is my brother Emmett Cullen, Emmett this is Jasper." I gasped out. They exchanged pleasantries reminding me that they had already met at Seth's Place.

"So remember you still owe us tickets to the Jets game when they're in town or we're in New York.' Emmett looked at me excitedly, "Jasper's dad has tickets near the 50-yard line. Eddie, that's the only way to really watch football."

It occurred to me as Emmett continued talking with Jasper he might actually know more about him than I did. It was a disturbing thought.

Jasper led us back to the table where our group sat and introduced us to Alice and Rosalie. I already knew the other guy who was scowling darkly at me.

Jasper plopped himself down next to me, very close; I felt the warmth from his body caressing me. Emmett sat down next to Jasper and engaged him in some sports conversation. I saw Jasper animatedly respond, I was happy…he clearly liked my crazy stepbrother leaning in as he spoke to him. He kept some part of him on me physically, a hand, a knee; a brush against my skin saying…I'm here…I was overwhelmed and confused. What was he telling me?

Jacob on the other hand, was a seething mass of resentment directed entirely at me…Alice was chattering at him, who knows about what but he never took his eyes off of me; it was unnerving.

Emmett turned to Rosalie and the two started talking and I could see the attraction between the two of them was mutual. Soon they were completely wrapped up in their conversation lost to the rest of us.

"Edward," Jasper turned back towards me, his face was very close to mine I only needed to lean forward slightly to kiss him. It was so hard to keep my hands to myself.

"I'm glad you and Emmett were able to join us, it was a nice surprise." His fingers brushed the back of my neck as he casually stretched then draped his hand across the back of my chair.

"You okay after today?" I asked him, still concerned about how he took the video. He nodded and continued whispering his fingers along my neck. For a guy that didn't want a relationship he sure was getting handsy…he smiled slightly and I found myself getting lost in him. His blue eyes glowed with affection; I had a hard time not reaching over and pushing his curls off his sweet face…I had to tell him.

"I told Emmett…you know…about me being gay," I said in a low voice close to his ear. He smiled broadly at that.

"That's great, Edward, it seems like he took it well judging from his behavior tonight." He continued stroking my neck, relaxing me.

I chuckled. "It was weird, it was like he's been waiting for me to talk to him, let him know. He wasn't surprised at all, like he's known all along. He even said 'I screamed gay', whatever that means," I said using air quotes for emphasis and rolling my eyes. Jasper laughed out loud at Emmett's comments.

"Well he's going to have explain _that_ to us…" his eyes crinkled in amusement.

"I told him about you," I continued noting his surprised look. I lowered my eyes and could feel myself blush, "he said you were…perfect…for me…" I looked back up into his now serious countenance. His fingers ceased their movements. I was afraid; had I gone too far?

"I'm so proud of you, I know how hard this is, to be honest about who you are. But…I hope you're doing this for you…not for any other reason…" I was stunned. Was he implying it was too late for us? My wonderful mood disintegrated.

"Let's go play pool!" Emmett calls out momentarily freed from his Rosalie trance. He grabs her hand and Alice and Jasper follow. Jasper grabs my hand but I pull back gently. I need a moment to clear my head.

"I'm going to finish this beer then I'll join you." He releases my hand with a smile and joins the others at the pool table.

Jacob and I are left alone at the table; he is staring at me relentlessly when he suddenly leans forward slamming his glass down. A little of the beer splashed out and I had the overwhelming impulse to clean it up with a napkin. He stilled my hand with his and glared at me.

"What's up with you Cullen? I've been interning for six-months and you don't say boo to anyone. Jasper shows up and kaboom! you become a social butterfly, you are all over his shit…what do you want from him…_**Seth**_?" He sneers the last word.

I meet his eyes in shock that quickly morphs into resentful anger. I look around to see the rest of the group playing pool. Jasper is laughing at some antic of Emmett's…he glances over at Jacob and me…we appear engaged in casual conversation. Jasper smiles and motions to me to come over…I nod and signal "one minute" with my index finger.

"You're a fucking coward…I had no clue it was you until Jasper slipped up today after your meeting…he was calling you Seth, he didn't even realize he was doing it."

I was not about to respond to his completely accurate accusation.

"Jacob, Jasper is a new associate, we are working on a case together. That's all. Anything else is none of your business." I assumed a professional business tone. I started to pull my hand away but he held on practically snarling.

"What about your lovely fiancée Tanya, huh? Do you play for both teams or are you just experimenting with the gay boy…" I snatched my hand away not wanting to hear any more feeling incredibly hostile towards Jacob.

"Listen asshole, I really care about Jasper, he's become a really good friend and maybe there could be more if it wasn't for…" he hisses at me as I walk away.

"I'm going to fight for him…he told me was done with _**Seth**_…" I shake off his words as I walk towards Jasper. I needed to get away from Jacob before I beat the crap out of him.

My head was spinning with the implications of Jaspers comments; it felt as if he was pushing me away, then Jacobs attack, it was hard to endure. My heart hurt.

"Hey guys, I'm heading out, long day tomorrow." Jasper looks at me in disappointment and places his hand on my shoulder. His touch feels so good but it's painful right now…Jacob approaches and puts his arm around Jasper kissing his cheek while holding my eye.

"Quit it Jacob!" Jasper whines half way between amused and annoyed pushing him back a bit. Jacob saunters off with one last backward glance at me tossing his head in defiance. He's actually going to make me have to fight for Jasper. Did I have the strength, the guts? Maybe we could still talk tonight.

"Jasper, how'd you get here?" I asked tentatively.

"With Jacob" _Oh, no way he's going to leave with Jacob now, not after that little display_.

"I can give you a lift, it's on my way…" I was ready to drag him out at this point but Jasper disappointed me.

"No that's okay, Jacob is staying at my place tonight; he's going to help with some furniture I'm having delivered tomorrow. Alice and Rosalie are redecorating and Jacob's been nice enough to pitch in."

I'd heard enough; I realized I was about to explode in frustration at not being able to get what I wanted. It seems that Jasper doesn't want me, I felt hollow. I was seething with jealousy and it was beginning to dawn on me that I could actually lose Jasper forever because of my unwillingness to come out. I grab my coat and approach Emmett who is all over one Rosalie Hale.

"S-o-o-o-, I'm heading out now Emmett…"

"Um-m-m" Came a garbled reply as his face was buried in her neck. He waved good-bye with one hand without looking up.

I turned to leave and realized I now had the indignity of needing to walk past Jacob standing with arms crossed at the end of the bar, a smug grin on his face.

"Later loser"

_God, how I wanted to punch that grin off his face…!_

**Jasper**

I was disappointed to see Edward leave. How could I respond to his lovely words? He left me speechless. He was working so hard, struggling with his choices and I wasn't helping. I could feel his desire, his loneliness, but I was not going to make it easy for him, I cared about Edward that much. In such a short time, I've been won over by his dedication to his work, his innate kindness and warmth. Not to mention he was one hot piece of ass…

Despite it all I found it hard to resist touching him, he was so beautiful and vulnerable. It was probably wrong of me and likely encouraged him to be more open with his feelings than I was ready for.

He said that Tanya was next on his list; as much as I liked her and did not want her hurt, I think it best in the long run that she suffer a little pain now rather than everlasting regret. Edward would be miserable if they did marry and no one would be happy.

Emmett nudged me as I stood staring off holding my pool stick like a sentinel.

"Hey, it's your turn buddy…you okay?" His face was etched with concern.

"Yeah, just thinking about stuff…"

"Is that stuff named Edward?" he said softly so only I heard.

"Something like that," I sighed.

"He's a good guy trying to find himself; give him time" Emmett was a good brother, I'm glad Edward has someone like him. It made me feel a little lonely and think of my father for some reason.

"I know and I am," I said in response as I moved to take my turn at the pool table.

I cleared the table in my next turn and replaced my pool stick in the rack. I was tired and ready to head out. I looked around for Jacob and found him regaling Alice and Rosalie with some sort of story that had them laughing. I approached and indicated my desire to leave. Jacob stood and wrapped his arm around me kissing me soundly drawing an odd look from Emmett. Jacob's overly affectionate nature was starting to grate on me. I pushed him off of me once again glaring at him starting to regret having asked him stay at my place for the night.

We walked out together to his car; Jacob was going on about tomorrow and the furniture and some lunch that he and Alice were having with Rosalie; I was paying scant attention.

My thoughts drifted back to Edward and the look on his face when I declined a ride home. He was suffering and I ended up making him feel rejected. Poor sweet confused man.

I was having a hard time as well resisting the urge to run over to his place and throw myself into his arms regardless of the consequences.

We got into Jacobs car and drove to my place in uncomfortable silence. I could feel Jacob's glances at me, which were unnerving.

"So, Cullen huh…" he said suddenly, filling the void.

"What about Cullen?" I said sullenly; I should have said nothing, getting the sense finally that he was not one of Jake's favorite people.

"He's fucking around with you, baby, he's going to marry Tanya and you will be nothing but a memory." I finally got pissed off.

"What the fuck Jake? Why do you give a shit you don't even know the guy really…he…" Jacob brought his car to a sudden stop pulling over to the curb.

"I know this much Jasper," he hissed. "He's the type of guy who will never take a risk, a chance outside his safety net. You are a big risk and he'll never ever admit to you…" Jacob was shouting at this point…"and I care about you too much to see you hurt."

I said nothing in return; it was clear to me now that Jacob had deeper feelings for me although honestly I knew this before, thinking I could control them by pushing him away. He was messing with my potential relationship with Edward; maybe at this point it was too late.

"I told the fucker to stay away from you…"

"Is that why he left?" I yelled, now realizing how much effort Jacob had put to pulling us apart.

"Jake, drop me home, I think it's best that you not spend the night." I was silent as he pulled up outside my place.

"I'll be here tomorrow Jasper, for the furniture like I promised" Jacob said softly maybe finally realizing how far he'd overstepped.

"Okay, talk to Rosalie" I needed to distance myself from him for a while. I walked away from him without looking back as his car pulled away.

I pressed the button for my floor finding that I was drained emotionally from what I had seen in the video at work and Jacob's manipulations. I wanted nothing more than to sleep.

The elevator door opened and I exited trudging towards my door, pondering what tomorrow held. I thought about Edward and how I knew I had hurt him as he tried to sort himself out. My sweet boy, I thought, have I failed you? I wanted to give him strength but had I inadvertently turned him back into himself and away from me?

With that thought, I let myself in and prepared for the coming day and what that would hold. My soul was tired.


	13. Chapter 13

**Blind Faith**

**Chapter 13**

**Jasper**

_The elevator door opened and I exited trudging towards my door, pondering what tomorrow held. I thought about Edward and how I knew I had hurt him as he tried to sort himself out. My sweet boy, I thought, have I failed you? I wanted to give him strength but had I inadvertently turned him back into himself and away from me?_

_With that thought, I let myself in and prepared for the coming day and what that would hold. My soul was tired._

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Thursday morning I awoke to my alarm buzzing shrilly. I swatted at it wanting nothing more than to sink back under the covers. I stretched out, yawned and begrudgingly threw my comforter aside sitting at the edge of my bed scrubbing the sleep from my eyes.

Edward. God, the thought of him made my gut clench with despair. Everything that could go wrong to doom any possibility of a relationship between us seemed to be happening.

Regretfully, I recalled the events of last night and his abrupt departure. I was at a loss as to how to communicate with him rationally. It seemed our every interaction while laced with our obvious lust and desire for one another was colored by jealousy and miscommunication. We kept getting it wrong and hurting each other. I know I had wounded him last night unintentionally and I was very pissed at Jacob for making things worse.

He was so tender and vulnerable last night only to get his emotions slapped back in his face. I was no help to him at all leaving him with the incorrect assumption that there was something between Jacob and me.

I get that Jacob knows Edward is Seth; that much was clear from my fumbling misuse of Seth's name in place of Edward's. Jacob didn't react to my use of Seth but I was aware that he knew.

Jacob is the one who led me to Edward. For that one thing I would be eternally grateful. Jacob said nothing as he tried to comfort me in my office following the viewing of the horrific video of Bree Richard's tragic death. It was how he reacted after the fact that was problematic.

I saw how he and Edward interacted at Kelly's. The animosity coming from them both was palpable. It seemed it was only a matter of time before they came to blows. Jacob was a barely contained nuclear explosion waiting to happen looking for any excuse. He seemed to think I was his to protect.

I needed to clear the air with Jacob. I am not nor will I ever be his in any way other than friendship. He needs to back the fuck away from Edward and give him room to breathe. I'm sure he knows how angry I was at his blatant and unwanted interference.

Edward was a confused mess. My concern grew about the effect his current state might have on his effectiveness as a litigator. He was always relentless but never had to deal with his feelings for men on the job before. I blamed myself for pushing him before he was ready.

I should have just let him be. Rather than force the issue of his coming out if he wanted me I could have simply feigned disinterest. It would have been a lie, but maybe it would have eased his pain. In retrospect I realize I was completely insensitive to his situation likely due to the brief time we'd known each other.

I honestly was not open to a relationship so why force the issue with him? I had been so unfair. But now, I wanted him like I hadn't before. I saw the rare jewel that was Edward Cullen. He was worth waiting for but I was tired of seeing him suffer, conflicted over what was the right thing to do. This was a man of honor trying to do the best with what life had thrown him unwanted as it was. I would take myself out of the equation and allow events to proceed, whether they ended with us together or Edward with Tanya. All I wanted was that Edward was happy and satisfied with his choice.

I had to accept that; he had been the aggressor initially, seeking me out clandestinely but I had the power to crush him and I would not use it.

Maybe I should ask for a change in assignment but what would that say about my professionalism? That was not a workable solution.

My role is to be a team member for Edward, I reminded myself. Dependable, a strong asset is what was needed and expected, not a lover for now, as hard as that might be in practice. It was difficult at times to resist the desire to just stare at him for hours; he was so easy on the eyes. I laughed as I recalled him concentrating deeply on his work furiously typing away and when I least expected, a small shy smirk would cross his features and his eyes would twinkle with restrained mirth. I knew he felt me watching him.

My alarm went off again startling me into action. If I moved my ass right now, I had time for a quick run and a shower.

I stumbled naked to my closet pulling on the running shorts and t-shirt that lay crumpled on the floor anxious to be out the door. My shoes were by the front door and I collected them on my way out sitting on the front step to put them on. The air was still chilled everything I viewed was green and dewy as I pounded down the block on my run, shoes slapping against the wet cement, my IPod blasting away all thoughts of Edward.

After I returned breathing heavily and reminding myself of the importance of maintaining a daily running schedule, I plunged into the shower scrubbing up quickly as the clock ticked minutes away. I did not want to be late today of all days.

I finally made it to the office a few minutes past nine breezing by Bella and begging her to grab me a coffee and bagel as I unlocked my office. I looked towards Edward's office but couldn't tell if he was in yet as his door was closed.

Bella entered my office as I booted up my computer with my requested bagel and coffee. I thanked her and turned to my computer feeling rushed due to the impending depositions.

"Thanks, sweetie." I said unconsciously, focused on what I was doing. She coughed lightly gaining my attention.

"Um, can you remind Edward we need to plan the menu for the Firm dinner? We're running out of time…uh I put time on his calendar for Friday…" Bella blushed. Poor, poor girl; she was over the moon for our boy. I guess that makes two of us.

"Will do, Bella." I smiled at her dismissively and she took the cue exiting immediately.

Today would be difficult.

We were starting the deposition process and the first to be questioned would be Claire Richards, mother of little Bree and widow of David. I was relieved that we would have a few hours before the deposition to prepare her for Craig Matthews and the force that was Jason Electronics.

I e-mailed Bella alerting her that Claire would be asking for her when she arrived. I asked that she be directed to my office. Edward would join us here.

I was deeply focused on the case materials barely hearing my phone ring. I reached automatically not taking my eyes off the text on my monitor as I barked, "Whitlock here."

"It's Bella, I have Mrs. Claire Richards with me. Um, are you ready for her, she's a bit, um early…"

"Yes, please Bella, show her in." I pinged Edward letting him know Claire had arrived although honestly I was unsure that he was in the office having yet to see him today. He responded immediately saying he'd join us shortly. I sighed unconsciously, happy to have received a response from him. I snapped back to the case materials, however, knowing we had a very short amount of time to prepare Claire for the deposition.

Very shortly thereafter came a small knock at my door.

"Come in." I announced whereupon the door slowly opened revealing Bella listing to the left under the weight of a clearly inebriated Claire. I leapt up to assist her in to my office suddenly at a loss as to what to make of her state. It was still fairly early in the day not quite ten in the morning.

I guided Claire to the chair opposite my desk and watched as she melted into the leather bonelessly, barely coherent. I chanced a glance at Bella whose worried expression matched my own.

Claire was disheveled and overly made up. She was skin and bones, clearly a shadow of the beauty she was when she had her husband and child. Her clothing hung on her bones and she reeked of alcohol. Her eyes rolled slightly as she caught me staring.

"Like what you see?" She leered at me. I was stunned silent trying to think of my next step as the door opened and Edward appeared. He went straight to Claire and knelt in front of her taking her hand, gazing at her earnestly.

"Hello darling, how are you doing?" He said to her tenderly. She gazed at him as her lip trembled and large tears began to trail down her face. She began to shake and Edward reacted instantly cradling her and whispering words of comfort. He looked up suddenly.

"Bella, can you get coffee and lots of water please?" He asked her beseechingly. She moved without a word at his request.

"I can't Edward, I can't do it." She cried wet tears into his shoulder as he held her. "My baby, my baby." She sobbed as she gripped him tightly. I looked at his face and saw her grief reflected deeply in his features. He was feeling everything along with her. "Oh Richard, help me." She called out to her dead husband as Edward rocked her murmuring to her trying to calm the distraught woman.

Bella returned with the requested coffee and bottles of water one of which she handed off to Edward. He proffered the water to Claire who managed to take a few sips as she calmed in Edward's embrace. She gave a deep sigh and looked around at us.

"Claire, we planned on spending the morning prepping you for opposing counsel but if you think it's too soon we can make an excuse. Are you still seeing Felix?" Felix was her therapist and I'm certain Edward would be on the phone with him very shortly.

"Yes." She whispered. "It's too soon. Will they try and hurt me?" She asked fearfully.

"I doubt it honey, they may be jerks but even they have standards." He joked mildly; I'm certain not believing it at all.

"I can't do it today Edward, I'm so sorry, I drank too much. I took a cab. Can we do it another day?" She asked weakly.

"Of course. I'll make excuses and we'll reschedule when you feel up to it. Please call Felix, I'll be checking in with him so you'd better!" He winked at her getting a small smile. He looked up at me then.

"Jasper, can you get her home? I'm going to call her father. Give me your cell." He programmed her father's number into my cell and handed it back as he moved to get Claire up and out of the office. He placed a call to her father regarding what had transpired. I actually was shocked thinking about it that she had shown up alone, unprotected. I hope this was an aberration and that she really wasn't dealing with this trauma by herself.

He took my arm and pulled me aside whispering close to my ear. "We need to get her the hell out of here before Matthews shows up. If he sees her like this all hell will break loose. I'd rather deal with putting him off which will be rough enough. I hate to ask you but there's no one else I trust to get her safely out of here." Our eyes met briefly then he pulled away, all business.

We got her downstairs to my car as she continued to cling to Edward. He placed her gently into the passenger seat belting her in murmuring to her quietly soothing her grief.

I stood back in awe at his consideration of her pain and his willingness to bend the rules of the deposition to fit her needs.

He came around to my window bending in and meeting my eye. "Call her father and arrange to hand her to him. I just called and he'll be ready for her." I wanted to lean forward and kiss him I was so impressed with his concern for her. I held back, of course.

I drove off with my delicate cargo, dialing the number Edward had provided.

I was able to make contact with her father and we agreed to meet at Edward's place where I handed the fragile woman over. I sped back to the office wondering how we were going to explain the turn of events to Matthews.

I walked into the war room to discover a frazzled Edward. I allayed his concern about Claire but he seemed inconsolable. His lips were so rosy, red, luscious pure sex but I doubted he ever regarded himself this way. His eyes were wild, flicking to me then away, trying to occupy his mind as we waited for opposing counsel to join us.

I heard Edward sigh and I looked up at him as he dragged the fingers of both hands through his hair, frustration and anxiety oozing from every pore. What was I doing to this man? I stood suddenly and walked determinedly towards him taking his face in my hands as his eyes never wavered from mine but I could see the fear. I pulled him close and whispered, "It will be all right" as I gripped him tightly.

"Jasper, Jasper" he moaned as he laid his head on my shoulder wrapping his arms around me as I continued to cradle his head. He pulled away abruptly as we heard voices in the distance.

"Don't do that again at work," Edward warned, taking me by surprise leaving me slightly hurt and bemused. He held my eyes in his as he turned and walked out of the conference room to greet the newcomers.

We chose to move to a different conference room on another floor so I followed him out as Craig Matthews escorted by Maria came into sight.

We settled in our chairs in the new conference room as Edward stood and cleared his throat. He explained that the depositions would be delayed due to the ill health of the main party, Claire. The rescheduled date was yet to be determined.

Craig Matthews exploded in indignation at having been dragged out to our offices without fair warning.

Matthews continued his tirade, irritated beyond reason at not being able to depose Claire Richards. I'm certain it was so he could destroy the last shred of dignity she retained all in the name of winning the case.

He stopped his rant, gazing towards the open conference room door. Tanya wafted by, obviously here to meet Edward. He had mentioned they were having dinner Friday so this must be a surprise visit. Matthews was transfixed. He stumbled over his words blushing crimson caught in the act of admiring another man's woman. Hah, the irony was not lost on me.

Edward eyed him carefully, appraising Matthew's strong reaction to his fiancée. I'm sure he wondered why Tanya was on this floor and not two floors above where his office was located. Regardless, he stepped to the door and peeked out.

"Tanya, we're in here." He glanced back at Matthews. Edward's eyes twinkled, delighted at his opponent's discomfiture, anything to get under the man's skin.

Tanya walked in; a vision of loveliness outfitted in a flattering pale beige suit that showcased her luminous skin and wearing dangerously high stilettos showing off her long legs in their perfection. Her blue eyes were glittering but not with happiness. She was staring daggers at Edward, clutching her purse tightly at her waist.

"Edward!" She huffed and pouted her lips as she walked stiffly towards him grasping the lapels of his suit jacket. She pulled him forward until they were touching. She pecked at his lips as he gently placed his arms around her, sighing. He tried to catch her eye and warn her but she was a ball of fury not to be denied her outrage.

"It's been three days, three days! Are you that busy that you can't return my calls?" She took in finally that they were not alone, surprised by my presence and that of Craig Matthews.

"Uh, let's continue the conversation in my office." Edward stammered uncomfortably as he blushed at being called out in front of colleagues.

They stood in an embrace of familiar lovers. He continued rubbing the small of her back as she calmed. By the look on Matthews face, I believe both he and I were equally uncomfortable at the display of affection but for different reasons.

"Hello Jasper, nice to see you again, and Craig Matthews! What are you doing in your old stomping grounds?"

She laughed lightly batting her eyes at him but continued to cling to Edward whose face was a veritable slideshow of emotions. He was flushed with his eyes were squeezed shut, resigned.

Tanya looked at me as she leaned her head against Edward's chest. I began to wonder for whom this show of affection was meant.

"Craig and I used to date when he worked for C&C." She looked at me coyly before switching her gaze to Matthews who looked about ready to make a run for it.

"That is, until Edward stole me away from him." She giggled annoyingly. It occurred to me that Matthews was being deliberately taunted.

I had wondered about the deep animosity between Edward and Matthews that seemed to serve no useful purpose other than for them to obsessively drive to compete to win at any cost. I suppose the source of that animosity was one Tanya Denali.

Matthews left then but not before reminding me to get the deposition files to him as early as possible in the morning. I nodded actually feeling a little sorry for the bastard.

Edward pulled away from Tanya, completely discomfited, and walked away towards the conference room table to fuss with his files.

"Edward, we are still on for dinner tomorrow, right? Then to your place?" Tanya preened at her reflection in the large window. Now that approaching twilight darkened the skyline, she was reflected back with a mirror's clarity as were Edward and I. We made quite a depressing tableau; two gay men one hunched over his files turned away from Tanya and me, hands in pockets tie loose, top button on my dress shirt undone. I looked sloppy and exhausted.

"Yes, Tanya, we're still on." He spoke quietly his voice cracking.

It came to me then; I realized the double standard now. I can't touch him but Tanya can rub herself all over Edward, a woman he doesn't even want, just to get at his nemesis, Tanya's former lover. How cold and calculating. This was not the Edward I thought I knew.

He didn't want her as a lover, at least that's what he led me to believe. Was Edward really taking her back to his place tomorrow night? Would they talk or would he continue the charade? Would they make love? The thought made me grit my teeth as anger slowly built deep within me, or perhaps it was jealousy. I shook that thought from my mind.

Tanya was a convenient shield for him. One I doubt he'd ever give up.

As I pondered that thought, it occurred to me I didn't know Edward at all. I was suddenly glad I'd held back from telling him my growing feelings for him. This is exactly what I didn't want; to be used, manipulated for someone else's gratification.

I sighed deeply, from my perspective, that's all I had ever been to him.

I had to get out of the room and now.

"Tanya, sorry to run but I've got to be somewhere." I started to brush by Edward but he grasped my bicep and none too gently. His eyes blazed at me.

"Where are you off to?" he hissed at me quietly as I took in Tanya watching him quizzically.

"I have dinner plans with a friend." I lied. I was not going to let him see my hurt. That hug, just hours before was meant to soothe a gentle soul. This Edward reminded of Seth that very first night we met. He was once again the animal that trapped me and practically raped me in the club. I'm glad I came to my senses before anyone else could be hurt, namely me.

"Hey! Keep your hands off me buddy." I huffed as I unwound his hand from my arm.

He gripped my hand making me have to pull away.

"Don't worry," I added bitterly. "I'll get the deposition files pulled together and copies to Matthews first thing in the morning."

I looked over at Tanya and her utterly confused expression, I'm sure she was trying to make some sense of Edward's actions and my response to him. To all appearances we were having a lover's quarrel.

"It was nice to see you again Tanya. Good luck."

With that final remark, I was finally able to leave the stunned Tanya and Edward behind. My heart was beating frantically in my chest as I escaped back to my office.

Why were tears burning my eyes?

Why did Edward have to look so beautifully heartbroken?

I quickly grabbed my briefcase stuffing it full of files and my laptop. It was going to be a long night but I was determined to finish up the files as I'd promised I would.

I threw my black trench coat over my shoulder as I had noted the change in the Seattle weather back to its predictable rainy pattern. It was a short walk to the garage but I didn't feel like getting wet.

The elevator doors opened as I got to the lobby and Edward, accompanied by Tanya quietly exited. I averted my eyes so that I could hide the red rims from their view. Tanya had her arms wrapped protectively around Edward's strong arm. He looked straight ahead and gave me a slight stilted nod as we crossed paths and I entered the elevator.

No words were exchanged.

The elevator doors closed and I was immediately engulfed in a crushing grief. Edward's scent surrounded me making everything more vivid and painful.

He wasn't mine and he never would be.

It was as if we never were.

I gave up without a fight and so did Edward.

Jacob wanted to fight for me and he'd worked his hardest to mess up any chance Edward and I might have had.

Edward and I both were willing to go slow but events had pushed and pulled at us and now we were most likely done.

I trudged slowly back to the garage and located my car by beeping randomly. After I tossed by briefcase and what all else I was carrying into the front passenger seat, I leaned back in my seat and groaned sadly.

All I wanted was Edward.

What I had was a difficult case that was only going to increase in viciousness as we approached the trial date.

I want to paint, maybe take up guitar as long as Edward is by my side I thought idly.

What was happening to me?

I turned the engine over and screeched out of the garage probably a bit too fast, slightly out of control but then my life was starting to feel that way as well.

I drove and thought of Edward, my admiration for him had grown immensely watching him work with Claire in such a caring manner. I admit I was jealous watching him retreat with Tanya clinging to his arm but I promised myself I would not interfere.

I pulled up in front of my place and groaned. Of all the nights that I did not want company it looked like the three musketeers had invaded. I remembered now that tonight was when my new furniture was to be delivered.

Jacob's car was parked diagonally across my parking spot as if he had come to a screeching halt at top speed. I cringed that, judging from the tire marks it might have been true. Alice's yellow Porsche was parked in front leaving me to park and lock my car around the corner from my own place.

I wound myself up to my front door finding it slightly ajar. I cursed the lax security that allowed them easy access to my home. I needed to get my key back from Rosalie but for all I knew she might have had copies made for each of them. I cursed at the thought and cautiously entered my own place.

I was assaulted by the smells of garlic bread and pasta sauce emanating from the kitchen where Rosalie must be doing all the cooking because clearly the entertainment was being provided by a gyrating Jacob and Alice dancing to the music blasting from my entertainment system.

"Ah, the prodigal son returns!" greeted Jacob as he continued swaying to the music, oblivious to my grim countenance.

Alice shrieked and ran towards me almost knocking me off-balance as I was still weighted down by my heavy files.

"Come and see what we've done with your place. It's fabulous, amazing, I've outdone myself!" The little elf was dizzy with excitement.

I took a look around and did indeed like what they had done. I smiled broadly and they responded in kind.

Didn't they have homes?

Wasn't there someone else they could annoy?

I shook my coat off hanging it on the hook on the back of the front door and slipped my shoes off as Alice continued to pull at my hand.

"Let me put my files down, Alice, you're going to pull my back out with all that yanking." I have to admit their boundless cheer was starting to thaw my chilly mood but just barely.

I loped off to my room and changed quickly into jeans and a t-shirt foregoing shoes. I paused for a second gathering myself. Today had been tough but I was not going to inflict it on my friends and family. I took a deep breath and descended the stairs.

I was assaulted by the aroma of Rosalie's cooking and joined her in the kitchen. She smiled broadly at me turning and handing me a large glass of wine. Generally I preferred scotch but I was not up for arguing. I tipped the glass to my lips and took a long pull as I watched Rosalie and Alice pile the food on the table.

We sat ourselves at the table passing dishes until our plates were full eating the scrumptious food. Jacob and Alice chattered non-stop as I ate slowly noting that Rosalie was watching me and not eating at all.

"So what's up with Edward?" She ventured cautiously catching me with my mouth full. I looked around suspiciously as all eyes were on me suddenly. I chewed slowly looking down at my pasta.

"There's nothing going on." I said and it was the truth. There was nothing between us formally.

"Bullshit!" Jacob exclaimed.

Jacob approached and leaned next to me. I tensed, not wanting to get into anything with him tonight still angry at his interference.

I shrugged away from his body no longer hungry putting my plate in the sink. I did not want to answer any questions but I was outnumbered.

Jacob, Alice and Rosalie took turns pummeling me with words. He's no good, he's using you, he's in the closet and he's a self-hating fag.

Alice chimed in, "Jacob is so much better for you, we have so much fun together when you're not pining over Edward Cullen we all have so much fun like last weekend went we all went shopping oh, and dinner too."

Jacob reached out to wrap his arms around me. I'd had enough and pushed him away.

"Jacob, I do not want you in that way, I thought I was completely honest with you but to clear up any confusion, you will never be my boyfriend." I was starting to feel a little nutty and my emotions were just about to overflow. I stared at the three of them wondering how my life had gotten so out of my control and why they thought it their right to interfere.

"I think you all should leave, I have to get a lot of work done tonight." I turned away but they weren't done torturing me.

Why, what's wrong with Jacob?" Rosalie chimed in.

That did it.

"I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH JACOB!" I was gripping my hair so hard I may have pulled chunks out. My eyes were ablaze with anger pacing around the family room when I came to a screeching halt.

The three of them grew silent, watchful as my words reverberated across the room.

I realized what I had just said and I knew what I needed to do.

"I'm in love with Edward." I said quietly almost to myself as the truth of those words enfolded me.

"Please, let me be." They gathered their coats and left me alone finally. I looked around the wreck in my kitchen and thought briefly that maybe I should have waited until they cleaned up, but no matter, sometimes doing dishes was therapy.

Oh Edward, I may get hurt, he may wound me beyond repair but I needed to try to win him. I would be patient and wait until he was ready.


	14. Chapter 14

**Blind Faith**

**Chapter 14**

**Edward**

_Oh Edward, I may get hurt, he may wound me beyond repair but I needed to try to win him. I would be patient and wait until he was ready_.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

I was caught up in Claire's pain.

I could understand why she would want to cease to exist. I got it.

When everything you could ever care about was sucked from your existence, why continue?

Do you live on in their memory?

WHY?

This court case was about making the fuckers pay, sucking some blood out of their souls, if they had any. If I could have personally cut their balls off and let them bleed to death, I would have because no amount of money would ever give Claire a sense of relief. I knew she had died along with her husband and daughter. I wanted Jason Electronics to suffer and as yet, they weren't. I was beyond frustrated at the extent they could shield themselves from the pain their products created.

Have we really been relegated to caring about marketability of products, doing anything to cut losses over the well being of humanity? It appears to be so.

A company has no soul, no feelings. Despite the canny ad agencies that sell them as caring, concerned it's bullshit. The only way to get to the beast is to bleed it dry of profits, of the filthy lucre that drives the soulless beast. Heck, look at what happened to Arthur Anderson after the Enron debacle? They were just gone. That is my aspiration for Jason Electronics. The shareholders care but again only about money. Hell I care about money; I enjoy having a lot of it but not to the point that my gain comes at the expense of my fellow man.

How could I help her? The only satisfaction I can give her is to kill the beast. She needed to survive for the baby; yes, Claire was pregnant when the horrible tragedy occurred. She never got the chance to share the news with David, as he was inconsolable over the death of little Bree ultimately ending his own life before she could tell him.

Baby Caleb was being cared for by Claire's parents, Claire was in no condition to take care of the toddler.

I called ahead and talked to her father, Charlie. What a great guy. I thought of him as a friend, a mentor, he was the kindest wisest man I knew. He and his wife Renee were steadfast throughout the tragedy, helping Claire in every possible way. I let them know I was going to need to speak to Claire today; it was imperative that we get a deposition from her what with Matthews breathing down my neck.

I arrived at their modest home shortly thereafter and was greeted by Renee holding a struggling Caleb. What a beautiful child, so like Bree it was scary. I'm sure for Claire it was shattering. If he had not looked so like his dead sister she might have been able to cope. His unruly curls framed his chubby pouting face as he reached towards me. Renee handed him off to me with relief. I'd been to their home so often over the last year that I'd become an unofficial uncle to Caleb. He clung to me, popping his little thumb in his mouth as he settled against my chest.

"_Yes, Caleb," I thought. "I'm here to help your mommy so you to can be a family again."_

"Hey Renee," I smiled at her tired eyes. She took me in a quick hug pulling me inside. Charlie approached slapping my shoulder and guiding me into the family room where I sank into the comfortable sofa still holding a sleepy Caleb. He snuggled into my neck as Charlie sat in the chair across from me, popping a beer. He didn't offer me knowing I never drink when I'm working.

"It's not good Ed." He sighed, the concern clear in his voice.

"She drank herself into a stupor once she got home from your office yesterday. We tried to reason with her but we were reduced to threatening to remove all alcohol from the house…" He choked up. "I can't do that either until they find some medication to help her. It's the only relief she gets from the pain." I watched helplessly as tears streamed down his face. Renee, sniffling as well walked in and took the sleeping Caleb from me. I leaned forward bracing my hands on my knees.

"Charlie, if it's too much I can try and force a settlement or agree to one on her behalf but I have to say I am going to pursue a class action until I put those fuckers out of business." I said heatedly, knowing the stress of the lawsuit was adding to her pain.

"No." I heard behind me as I turned to see a frail Claire walk slowly down the stairs. "No settlement. I want them gone so they don't hurt anyone else's family." She was dead calm. It was eerie. I stood and guided her to the sofa beside me. She was a small woman wasted to nothing by the weight of her grief. At one time she had glowed with beauty and happiness. In stark contrast, her hair hung limply not recently brushed and unwashed. Her t-shirt and jeans hung loosely on her frame but it was her empty eyes that haunted me. Oh, what I would give to put light back in them!

"Edward." She sighed putting her thin arms around me in a quick hug. I pressed her lightly to me afraid she might break she was so fragile.

"I stumbled yesterday, I thought I was ready but I got overwhelmed at the thought of talking about what happened. I'm sorry Edward and thank you for saving me once again. Jasper was so kind to me, he got me home and tucked me in. He's so wonderful." I smiled slightly at this compliment warming at the thought of Jasper. I might have blushed a bit but I don't think anyone noticed. _"Yes, he is wonderful." I thought._

"I can do this Edward, I owe it to…them." I looked into her sad eyes wondering how I could minimize her pain of having to relive the horror.

"Okay Claire, we'll do this but I'm going to talk to my counterpart and see if we can make the process easier for you."

She sighed deeply. "I'm…a-alive…E-Edward." She stuttered overcome once again as her hands flew to her face. Unthinking, I swept her onto my lap and held her as she cried into my chest, patting and stroking her hair. I rocked her murmuring that I would do my best to ease her pain. She soaked my shirt with her tears but I didn't care. I was enraged again at the circumstances that left her so shattered.

Her breathing slowed to a regular pattern. She had drifted off to sleep. I hoped no nightmare would assault her tonight.

I looked up at Charlie and Renee. They were suffering as well. They looked exhausted from the stress of caring for Claire and the rambunctious Caleb. It occurred to me that I could help.

"Hey, if you guys want a night out, I can take Caleb for you. I'm sure a sleepover and maybe a visit to the zoo would wear him out." I said quietly, not wanting to wake Claire.

"Edward, we might just take you up on that." Charlie said tiredly.

I looked down at the sleeping Claire, coiled tightly around me. "I think I should get her upstairs and hopefully she'll sleep for a while." They nodded in unison.

I leaned forward, securing my hold on her and stood. It was like holding a child she was so light. I trod up the stairs to her childhood bedroom. I held her as I pulled her covers back then placed her gently down before covering her up. I placed a light kiss on her forehead and started to stand. A hand reached out and gripped my own and her quick movements momentarily startled me.

"Thank you Edward, for everything." She said sleepily. What she said next rocked me.

"Don't let Jasper get away, you two are good together."

Struck dumb, I merely nodded. _How could she know?_

"Jasper talks like you're the second coming. He glows when your name is mentioned." She said as if she read my mind.

"Sleep Claire, I'll call you tomorrow." I whispered, thrown by this last bit of conversation. I brushed back her hair and left, closing the door behind me.

I descended the stairs to be greeted by Charlie and Renee.

"She's asleep now but we will talk again tomorrow." I said as I brushed my hand through my hair, suddenly self-conscious. I started to feel as if I was getting too entwined with this family and hoped I wasn't doing her a disservice. I was emotionally involved, that was for sure.

"Edward, thank you for everything." Renee gushed as she took me into a tight hug.

"Son, we'll call you to watch Caleb sooner than you think." He winked at me but I knew they needed a break.

"I'll be happy to help, sir." We shook hands and I finally departed. It was dark but I needed to get back to the office and make arrangements for Claire's deposition.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

I was bent over my computer sending e-mail to Craig Mathews when a figure appeared at my door. I glanced up distracted.

Jasper.

My heart leapt but my face remained impassive.

"Oh hey. I thought I was alone. What are you still doing here?" My pulse was racing as he stood in the doorway gazing at me.

His gentle face entrapped me, blue eyes ablaze. He was a vision in navy slacks and vest contrasting his white shirt, sleeves rolled up, no tie; two buttons at the top of his shirt undone. He brushed back a lock of his wheat colored hair, highlighted by the sun. We stared at each other, the naked desire rolling off of us in waves.

"Thank you for being so kind to Claire. She really appreciated it." I said, unable to stop staring at him.

"You're beautiful." He said simply then turned and walked way leaving me stunned.

What am I supposed to do with that? I thought about going after him but then the moment would be lost.

I was brought back to reality abruptly.

I received a text from Emmett all in caps; "_WHEN ARE YOU TELLING TANYA? I'M GIVING YOU 24 HOURS."_

Fuck my brother for pushing me like that!

My mind was a maelstrom of anxiety. I was uncertain now that I had done the right thing coming out to Emmett and it was becoming increasingly obvious that a broader circle of friends and acquaintances suspected I was gay. Emmett, of course knew, Rosalie and Alice I'm certain were aware as well as was the insufferable Jacob, eternal source of annoyance. Then there was Caius and Felix who greatly enjoyed my discomfort and probably Maria enjoyed it as well. I was living on a knife-edge of uncertainty as to what to do next. Who should I spill my guts to? Should I tell my family and loved ones individually or convene a meeting and spill my guts all at once? It struck me that those to whom I'd come out had taken my sexual preference in stride, as if they'd always known. I found this mildly disturbing.

I took a step away from myself as I realized poor Claire came and went from our offices and I'd barely had a chance to comfort her. I'm glad I was able to see her today. Matthews was next on my list and hopefully he could see reason.

Jasper, Jasper clearly desired me and at the same time pushed me away. I was confused by what his motivations were. I worried I had moved to out myself merely to keep him and that was unwise. I recalled my hurt when Jasper called me out on acting for myself, not because I wanted him. He was right, though. My feelings for Jasper were instant and intense, like a roman candle flaming in its intensity. He was my only obsession, consuming my thoughts until I touched his skin violating him in so many ways. I regretted my rash actions.

At the same time, he continued to signal that he wanted more, touching me and caressing my neck when we went out with the group. He embraced me in the office taking me by surprise then held me at arms length, leaving with Jacob from the bar crushing my heart. To gain his love and place in my life, I needed to get my get my shit together before there was even the smallest chance of us ever being one.

I thought about Claire's words. I did not want to lose him.

I had pulled away as had he from our torrid beginnings resolving to be colleagues first although neither on of us ever discussed it. It tore at me to see him with Jake and despite that he sure seemed to want me too.

My career weighed heavily on me. I worked hard at maintaining credibility within the firm. As the son of a founder, a lot was expected. My sexual orientation should not be an issue. If I weren't the legacy I would be less concerned. The thing is, no one really cares about your personal shit, especially in the business and legal world. Whatever I decide, my work world must be held apart. If I come out, my sexual orientation should be irrelevant. God, I hope so, I've worked too hard to let it all slip away.

I laugh, in some respects at my naiveté, as if I can magically announce that I'm gay and the world will continue to revolve as it has before for me. No, I will likely need to step off at the next stop if I come out at least that's what I tell myself as I imagine my family reacting in the worst possible way.

Am I ready for this reality? There are many examples of gay men who live their lives openly, comfortably to all outward appearances. In my mind, I ask; what did they give up to finally allow themselves to be free? Did "Mom and Dad" still love them? Did they get kicked out of their homes and were they shunned? Are they braver than me?

How far am I willing to go to free my soul and to be honest. What am I willing to give up? I must consider this in isolation to my strong feelings for Jasper. He is an openly gay man; I struggle daily to be even remotely as honest as he is. I am not that good.

Tonight, I have dinner planned in an elegant restaurant, a private booth where we won't be overheard. We agreed only to dinner but then, I'm certain she expects we'll retreat to her apartment and make love. I could never take advantage of her that way, sex between us is so infrequent and unexciting but even Tanya has needs. I can't fulfill them and I doubt I could perform with her anymore. By the end of the evening she may not care.

Tanya is so sweet and beautiful. Desired by so many men but not me. She is my best friend in so many ways. Can I marry her knowing I could never truly be hers? Could I be that wicked just to maintain my social standing? My soul is being torn to shreds by my desire to fit in to what I consider the traditional life and my deep yearning to be with a man, with Jasper.

I wrench myself out of my reverie and prepare myself for the evening with a sense of dread.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

I arrived at Tanya's place shortly before eight and let myself in shouting out to announce my arrival. Years of habit cannot be unlearned I muse closing the door behind me. I know I should hand the key over to her soon if not tonight. Because I am so comfortable coming and going from her place over the years I help myself to a scotch from her well stocked bar downing the drink quickly seeking to calm my frazzled nerves. The pressure I am under seems unbearable knowing that by the end of the evening events will unravel and a lovely woman will be hurt.

"Edward you're here!" She glides towards me perfectly coiffed, perfumed and powdered to within an inch of her life. Her silky dress billows softly around her slim body. I curse myself inwardly for ever getting so involved with her. Her arms circle my waist and she presses up against my chest tilting her face towards me in expectation of a kiss. I brush my lips softly against her mouth then pull back twisting from her hold under the pretense of grabbing her wrap. My intention is not to escalate affections since I know how the evening will end. I start the process of distancing myself emotionally.

We are quiet on the drive to the restaurant, she is holding my hand. I sense her watching me expectantly a slight smile on her lips. The soft strains of jazz color our mood as we arrive. The valet opens our doors and I escort Tanya in. We are well known and are seated immediately.

Our waiter has been requested ahead of time, someone we know and we engage in light banter with him. As we chat, I momentarily feel as if I've stepped outside myself and am observing a handsome couple from afar enjoying dinner without a care in the world. It looks so normal and it's all ever wanted. We have such history between us. Our comfort and knowledge of each other's lives, family, likes and dislikes is deep and in a perfect world we were made for each other. Fate is cruel.

Tanya is chattering away about our families. I am distracted and barely able to follow her thoughts when she stuns me from my reverie.

"Edward, we need to set a date for the wedding. Your mother has been bugging me to start planning the venue and…" I cringe and regret eternally that I ever let it get this far, that my cowardice will break her heart.

"Tanya, love," I take her hands in my shaking pair and squeeze lightly to gain her attention. She smiles brightly but her smile fades as she sees the sadness on my face. I can barely hold her eyes I feel so guilty. I have momentarily lost my voice, afraid to crush her and fearing the family ramifications. I sigh deeply.

"There isn't going to be a wedding." I croak. She stares at me unblinkingly. "Edward," she warns this is not funny. Your mother and I,"

"Tanya, I can't be the man you need." I'm shocked as tears start falling. My face scrunches up in pain as I consider my next words.

"I have feelings for men. I've tried for so long to deny them but I can no longer pretend I can be a husband to you. You are too good and sweet and I've been so dishonest in my hope I could be the man you need. I love you but not the way a man should love a woman." I find that I'm overcome with guilt, close to weeping but managing to hold myself together.

"Edward," she looks at me her eyes glittering. "I don't care if you're gay. You can have men if you need that…"

We are interrupted as our waiter returns but backs away seeing the intensity at the table. That's why he was requested. His discretion is impeccable.

"I can't hide anymore Tanya. What you're suggesting is not what I want. I need to be out"

She abruptly pushes her chair back, angry. She throws her napkin on the table as tears begin to flow.

"No Edward, it was supposed to be you and me! I need to be part of this family." She grabs the napkin and dabs her beautiful eyes. I feel like an ass.

"You are and will always be part of my family! My mother adores you, and considers you her daughter and has forever regardless of me." I whisper. I'm desperate that we are spinning out of control emotionally and I don't want a scene in the restaurant.

"I want to have your children!" She wails. It's time for us to leave. I make eye contact with our waiter and he nods indicating he will take care of the bill as he has my information. I approach Tanya and wrap my arm around her slim waist. She is such a treasure and I feel like the lowest life form right now.

"Let's go love, I'm so sorry." I hold her close as my car is brought around. She is sniffing but stops and looks up at me with watery eyes.

"Will you give me a child, Edward?" I would never intentionally do this.

"Tanya, I can't promise you that."

I'm exhausted emotionally as I drop Tanya at her place. She argued with me that we should sleep together one last time and I refused. I walked her to her door kissing her forehead. "I love you Tanya, you were always my best friend." She hit my chest with her fist.

"Get out." She growled. I left swiftly, fearing the repercussions of what I had done.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

I was a wreck of emotions with nowhere to turn for advice. I paced around the kitchen wondering whether I should drink myself into a stupor. I decided the upcoming day would be stressful enough without adding the burden of a hangover.

My skin felt grimy so I bathed and tried not to think too much about Tanya's reaction. It had to be done.

I crawled under my covers, wilting from tiredness. I drifted off quickly.

BANG, BANG, BANG!

I awoke abruptly from the noise. It was late, close to midnight so I questioned who could be at my door.

I descended the stairs to the entryway in darkness, flicking on the outside light to see who my visitor might be.

I froze as I gazed into familiar green eyes. Edward Cullen Senior was paying me a late night visit.


	15. Chapter 15

**Blind Faith**

**Chapter 15**

**Edward**

_BANG, BANG, BANG!_

_I awoke abruptly from the noise. It was late, close to midnight so I questioned who could be at my door._

_I descended the stairs to the entryway in darkness, flicking on the outside light to see who my visitor might be._

_I froze as I gazed into familiar green eyes. Edward Cullen Senior was paying me a late night visit._

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

I stood stock still grabbing at my hair, wide eyed and panicked. Edward Senior never before had appeared at my door unexpectedly. My suspicion and fear was that Tanya ran directly to my family in an effort to change my mind. What the fuck did she tell them?

I regretted instantly talking to Tanya before my family although neither scenario looked to have a rosy outcome.

BANG, BANG, BANG!

The angry noise signaled confrontation. I avoided drama at all costs. I suppose I should answer the door or sneak out the back way.

I turned the deadbolt listening to the click as I cringed then unlocked the door opening it and coming face to face with my livid father.

I took a step back fearing violence.

Edward Senior stalked into my home striding towards the living room before pacing back towards me. He was seething.

I was afraid. I was reminded of a long ago visit to a museum and the outcome that resulted from what I saw.

My heart was beating violently as I stared into my fathers green eyes afire with indignation when a thought struck me.

Why is he so angry?

I gathered my wits as we stared at each other, prey and predator.

It was at that moment that I realized that whatever he was angry about was not my problem.

I steeled myself for what was to come. I held my head high and met his gaze.

"What are you doing here Dad?" I said stiffly not taking my eyes from him.

"Well I got a late night surprise visit from a distraught Tanya, you know, your former fiancée." Sarcasm dripped from his words.

I knew it, dammit!

He started moving, circling me, his hands in his pockets studying me as if I were an interesting specimen. His black trench coat flapped against his jeans as he moved. Even still in his late forties he was a powerful athletic man, youthful still.

We both brushed fingers through our hair at the same instant indicating frustration. I paused. Jasper had said we were so much alike. He was an older image of me only his bronze locks were sprinkled with grey.

He stopped, removed his coat and hung it on the hook on the front door and sat down in a side chair.

We stared at each other neither willing to break the tense silence brought on from years of estrangement.

"I'm gay Dad." I said.

"I know." He responded unsurprised.

"Sit." He said waving his hand in the direction of the sofa.

I sat down heavily, unnerved by his late night presence in my home.

He sighed deeply suddenly looking very sad. He looked down at his hands as he started to talk.

"Let me tell you a sad story." He started. I was utterly confused by his actions.

"Once, there were two brothers who were very close. They shared everything and trusted each other implicitly. They were, however very competitive and took great pleasure in winning at the expense of the other." He paused, stood up and walked over to the wet bar pouring himself a scotch.

"You want?" He said, holding the decanter in my direction.

"No, it's late." He was stalling.

He sat back down taking a long swallow, closing his eyes briefly at the burn in his throat. He placed his glass down on the small table next to the chair and leaned forward towards me.

I was wide awake now and curious about his intentions. He was not acting as I had expected which made his initial anger confusing. I leaned towards him unconsciously assuming a similar pose.

He took a deep breath and continued.

"The two brothers often doubled dated through high school although neither had what you could call a steady girl that is until senior year. That's when they each met someone. One was a shy bookish girl and the other was boisterous and loud. Each matched the temperament of the brothers."

"Okay Dad, I kind of get that this sad story is about you and Carlisle." I interrupted.

He sighed. "All right then, let's get everything out on the table."

"Carlisle was dating Esme and I was with Victoria."

"Wait. Are you saying you and Victoria go back to high school? Why didn't I know that?"

"Yes we go back along way. Why you didn't know is because we never told you."

"Anyway, Victoria and I were noisy and they were quiet, arty. Esme and Carlisle preferred to be lost in literature and museums whereas Victoria and I loved socializing and parties."

"Carlisle and Esme had a fight and she came to our house late one night. Carlisle was not in so I let her in. She had been crying and told me what had transpired between them. Forgive me son, but she is an attractive woman. I say that in preface at what followed." He took a long moment to gather his thoughts before proceeding. I feared I knew what would come next and wondered whether I wanted to hear it.

"I won't give details other than to say your mother and I were together that night. In my mind it was comfort gone awry. After she left I didn't give her much thought." He took a gulp from his drink before continuing.

"I felt a lot of guilt but decided I was committed to Victoria. The next night I asked Victoria to be my wife. She of course responded yes enthusiastically while my core was shook with what I had done. We were still too young to be committing ourselves but my guilt overwhelmed my common sense."

"A few weeks later Esme showed up at my place, distraught. You can imagine how I felt when she told me she was pregnant. I told her it couldn't possibly be mine, deep in denial as I was. She left sobbing.

Shamefully, I didn't give Esme another thought as Victoria and I planned our engagement announcement."

"Carlisle showed up banging at my door a few nights later. To say he was ready to kill me was to understate the case. He clearly was devastated by the news Esme had shared with him that she and I had hooked up and she was now pregnant. I could no longer pretend you were not mine. My brother was ready to kill me. He insisted I had to marry Esme to make you legitimate."

"I ended up having to break it off with Victoria and married your mother. Things were never the same between us brothers as you can imagine. We continued in our direction through law school and ultimately took our positions as partners in the Cullen firm."

"I took the one thing my brother loved most in the world because of the circumstances we were in. It wasn't about love, it was about doing the best we could in an awful situation."

"By all rights you should be Carlisle's son."

"Ultimately I decided I couldn't live without Victoria who stood by me throughout this debacle. I'm sorry you don't think highly of her, she's amazing. I caused you such great grief, I realize, but I did get the love of my life after all. "

I was stunned by his revelations but it made so much sense. My parents were never a couple but they did love me. I knew that they both did the best they could given the situation they were in.

"Why now?" I asked him puzzled still. "Why are you telling me now?

"Why now?" He retorted, the anger bubbling back up. He stood pacing once again, his fingers assaulting his hair. It poked up in disarray. "Because Tanya will not go willingly and doesn't accept that you don't and will never want her. He looked directly at me. "Son, she's determined to make your life a living hell. She's telling anyone who will listen you cheated on her." His green eyes so similar to mine glittered with fury. I finally understood the source of his anger.

"She wants to out you herself in the most demeaning way." He spat.

She wants us to disown you. I talked to your mother and you know how close she and Tanya are. I'm concerned she may be swayed by Tanya's bitterness so much so that she may be blinded to your needs. She's reliving through Tanya what she suffered through with me."

I felt hollow thinking that Esme would ever take Tanya's side against me. She loved me…but she loved Tanya too. They were together constantly. I could see how it might happen as I remembered her emotional reaction to my father's betrayal. Tanya's cheating accusation would resound loudly with my mother. She didn't believe me years ago when I told her what I had seen in the museum. I suspect she wouldn't believe me now. The thought made me shudder.

"I will not let that happen." His hands dropped loosely by his sides and he suddenly looked tired and defeated.

"I would give anything to take back what you saw that day. I was so craven that I couldn't be honest with you, the only victim in this sad charade aside from your mother. I chose to leave and not speak of it again hoping time would pass and we could rebuild our relationship. It never happened." He looked so lost.

"So while Carlisle lost Esme, uh your mother, initially, he won in the end. Not only did he regain the woman he loved, he got the son as well as part of the bargain." My father walked towards the door utterly defeated. He plucked his coat from the door and drew it on. He reached for the door to leave.

"Stop!" I shouted, gripping my hair with both hands unsure of what to say, I just know I didn't want him to leave like this.

Why in God's name didn't he share this with me years ago? I realized as he was speaking that my bitterness and utter confusion over the situation kept us apart for so many years.

Regardless, he insisted on the awkward weekly Sunday dinner where I took great pleasure in making him feel like an ass. He had been trying for years and I continuously rejected him. Based on Tanya's actions it seemed as though I was going to get an initiation as to how it feels to have your loved ones turn on you.

He turned back towards me. It was evident he had been crying as his eyes were red rimmed. His hands were thrust deep into the pockets of his trench coat. He looked at me pleadingly.

"All I ever wanted was to be with the woman I loved and look how I fucked everything up." I was struck by the truth of his words and realized we were indeed made of similar stuff.

"Dad, I want to be part of your life again. I'm tired of being an asshole." I said as I walked towards him. He embraced me as he took a deep sob and held me tightly.

"I want to be with the man I love. It is beyond time to be honest with myself. I'm just sorry I had to hurt Tanya but it will be best in the long run." I rushed my words out as we stood together in the foyer.

"Jasper." He stated it as fact. "I remember how hard you fought to make sure we hired him. You realize that wasn't necessary." He chuckled as I pulled away from him slightly embarrassed.

"Yeah, well I didn't want to leave anything to chance." I said wryly feeling suddenly shy at our revelations. We were finally honest with each other after all this time. I realized that a lot of my anger was really love betrayed. I wanted my Dad again.

"So Dad, Jasper's father is coming into town next week and Emmett has managed to snag us seats in the luxury box on the 50 yard line. They are primo and I'm hoping you can join us. Jasper has been working through things with him and maybe the two of you could talk." I was nervous hoping I hadn't leapt ahead too far.

"I'd be happy to son, in fact I'm looking forward to it." He grinned at me, happy for the first time in recent memory. I put my hand on his shoulder as he turned to leave.

"So we'll see you Sunday?" He asked.

"Absolutely. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else," I grinned back at him.

"Bring Jasper." He urged. I hesitated.

"Not yet. I still have a few things to work through, the biggest being if he actually wants to be with me." I sighed wistfully.

"I think I need to be out as a gay man for a while, get a sense of myself before I'm any good for him."

"Wise thinking son, just don't experiment too much if you know what I mean." He winked at me. I felt weird discussing my sex life with my Dad but hell wasn't that why he was here for me?

"I'll try to be good." I winked back. Sheesh!

"See you Sunday." Impulsively I leaned in and kissed his cheek. I hadn't done that since I was 10. I saw a sea of emotions cross his face as he turned to leave.

"Bye Son."

"Bye Dad."


	16. Chapter 16

**I own nothing of Twilight. I do claim ownership of the original story. Sorry it took so long to get this up. The next two cjapters are virtually complete so I'll try and post them a couple of days apart. Happy reading!**

**Blind Faith**

**Chapter 16**

**Jasper**

_**Saturday morning – **_

The sunlight peeked though the blinds waking me up. I stretched my body out lazing in my bed still recovering from the previous night's excesses. I was thinking about Edward glad it was Saturday, worried about his state of mind having not spoken to him since Friday afternoon. He looked tired and fragile the last time I saw him.

I wondered how his dinner with Tanya went, did she dissolve in tears? Rage at him? I thought about calling Edward but why would he want to hear from me? All I had done thus far was trample on his tender feelings and subject him to public humiliation. I was still furious with Jacob and Rose. Their presumptuous interference in my personal life may have cost me a chance with Edward. My nascent feelings for this wonderful man left me confused.

I convinced myself again that giving Edward room and the time to come to terms with his homosexuality was the right thing to do although if I was honest, I was afraid to get too close. Clearly there was a chance I could lose him forever but I was reminded that I was not ready for a relationship either.

I extended my arms out over my head lacing my fingers together and recalled the events of yesterday with a tinge of regret…

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

_**Friday evening**_** – **

Friday had been another interesting day in the office. Edward was absent for much of it dealing with Claire. I had a teary eyed Bella moaning over her cancelled appointment with Edward. I took the bull by the horns and stepped into his shoes working with her to move forward on plans for the firm event. I could not imagine why Edward agreed to help, his schedule was so full.

I heard from Matthews and let him know I'd be bringing the files by his office at the end of the day.

Lunch consisted of a sandwich I picked up on the way into the office, pre-prepared at the coffee shop. I sat alone at my desk burying myself in work so I wouldn't dwell on Edward. For someone who didn't want a relationship I sure was spending a tremendous amount of time obsessing over his every move. I could not bring myself to admit that I missed him. I threw half the sandwich away no longer hungry as I resolved to focus solely on work, fill my mind to avoid my traitorous thoughts.

The afternoon flew by before I caught a glimpse of Edward.

"Hey Jasper" He said, startling me momentarily. Edward leaned heavily against the doorjamb appearing exhausted. Regardless his gorgeousness shone through. It was all I could do to keep from grabbing at him again though I knew he disliked displays of affection in the office, at least from me, I thought ruefully. My face heated regardless at his presence betraying my resolve.

"How did it go with Claire?" I squeaked out then cleared my throat nervously finding it difficult to meet his eyes.

"It's went as well as could be expected." He sighed. "She's so fragile I'd do anything to keep her from having to testify."

I struggled with what to say next which left me at a loss and feeling awkward. I glanced away unable to meet his yearning gaze.

"Hey so I'm heading out to drop the files at Craig Matthew's office. Uh, see you Monday?" He had me stirred up despite not moving a muscle, just standing in the doorway staring at me.

"Sure, see you then." Edward leaned his head against the door frame and closed his eyes briefly. I busied myself pulling the copied files together and placed them in a large folder. Nervously wracking my brain for what to say, my hands fumbled the files dropping one. I bent to pick up the scattered pages.

"Jasper, am I making you uncomfortable?" I turned and looked into his tired eyes. My heart was beating wildly and I felt slightly flushed at his proximity. We had been with each other naked just a few days ago and now, having foreclosed the possibility of a relationship with him at this time, I was at a loss as to how we should interact.

"Uh, no…um so what are your plans for tonight it being Friday?" I rushed the words out. Wow that sounded so stupid! My face was ablaze as I remained squatted down holding the errant pages.

"I'm taking Claire to dinner. I might have mentioned that to you before." He said with a slight whiny edge to his voice. Oh. He's going to tell her tonight changing his life as he knows it forever and I don't even have the gonads to offer him encouragement and support!

"Well great then, uh good luck and all that! Uh, I'm not sure what I'm up to yet, probably just a quiet night at home." I rambled incoherently. Could I be any more idiotic!

He gazed at me sadly.

"I miss you, Jasper," he spoke softly.

Part of me wanted to caress his cheek and take him into a warm embrace forgetting my reluctance and fear. I shouldn't have touched him last night but he was so irresistible in his vulnerability. I shouldn't have hugged him in the office. Last week, when we were just a hook up at Seth's place, albeit a very bizarre hook up, it was easy to succumb to the pleasure of his hands roaming my body without emotional consequence. That was easy, my heart was safe.

Our drunken encounter at his place a few nights later was amazing (Felix and Caius have yet to receive payback) but in the morning when I realized my Sethie was in reality Edward confessing his passion and desires, the lengths he had gone through to be with me, I instantly pulled back, afraid. It wasn't any longer the desire to avoid a relationship with a closeted gay man, it was more; it was any sort of relationship that I feared. Peter had finally gotten his revenge, I suppose, rendering me unable to open myself to Edward.

I couldn't answer him, stuffing the last file into the folder and shoving it in my leather satchel. I had my back to him.

"I'll just go then. Goodnight Jasper."

Edward turned and shuffled off without a backward glance.

My chest tightened and my stomach clenched in pain as I watched him walk away. I missed him already but I tried to shake the feeling off. Could it really be possible that I was falling in love with Edward? I watched his sad retreating form and hated myself.

My soul was torn open bleeding painfully as I struggled between my desire to chase after him and my need to run way from intimacy. I tried to warn him the other night and I had hurt him. This had to stop. Edward didn't deserve to be the victim of my dysfunction. No more mixed signals.

I had declared myself in love with Edward to my friends after having been pushed to the edge of sanity by their incessant nagging. Hopefully they would stay out of my life and stop their annoying meddling. I would explain that there was going to be no relationship with Edward; I was wrong, I wasn't yet strong enough to fight for him.

I rushed out of the office to avoid another encounter with Edward and made it to Matthew's office shortly before six o'clock. He was gone for the day so I left the files with his assistant.

That was it for the week. I sighed internally, anxious to head home and relax, my mind was swirling with thoughts of Edward and I felt a pang of longing for him.

My phone rang. I instantly knew it was Rosalie from the ring tone.

"Hey brother mine, I'm getting the gang together for dinner at Monty's followed by a night of booze and mayhem you're coming and bring Edward…" And so it starts.

"I don't think I'll make it tonight, it's been a busy week…"

"Oh no, you're in and bring your boyfriend…" Rosalie interrupted and this set me off, I'd had it with her bossiness.

"STOP IT!" I shouted, embarrassing myself when I realized I was still walking down the busy sidewalk. I caught a few annoyed glances and lowered my voice. "Rose, I'll go on one condition; you guys lay off my personal life! I know you only want my happiness but PLEASE let me take care of it myself or I won't be hanging with you guys anymore." I was beyond exasperated.

"There's nothing going on between Edward and me and likely there never will be. Please don't bring it up any more." I finished. Thoroughly chastened (I hoped) she said her goodbye's with a promise from me to meet them at Monty's seven o'clock sharp.

My phone rang again and this time it was my father. Anxious, I answered after the first ring.

"Hi Dad," I greeted him.

"Jasper, I'm glad I caught you." He huffed. "Listen, I'm just about to catch a flight out to Seattle, kind of late notice, I know. I'll be out there on business next week and want to spend time with you and Rosalie." I was surprised but pleased at this development happy that our father / son relationship was warming once again.

"That's great, Dad maybe we can catch a game while you're here."

"Well that's why I'm calling. One of my colleagues has a luxury box at the stadium and has invited me along. I took the liberty of adding you to the guest list. It turns out Ed Cullen and his son Edward were invited by Emmett Cullen as well so we'll get to talk and catch up." Okay, maybe now I'm not so happy, but I decided not to rain on his parade.

"Great," I managed to croak out.

"I have to board now. I'll call you tomorrow morning. Maybe we can get some lunch. Also I talked to Rosalie and made dinner reservations for the three of us plus Emmett of course for tomorrow night. Is there someone you want to bring?" He asked hesitantly. Oh God if only I could!

"No Dad, just me this time." I shivered with regret.

"Well then I'm getting the signal to shut my phone off. See you tomorrow, son."

"See you then." I rang off and slipped my phone into my pocket.

I reached my car finally and sat heavily letting my head recline back on the headrest as I took a moment to collect myself. My chest ached at the thought of another social event tossing Edward and me into an awkward situation. I was so conflicted I had no idea what to do anymore. I needed advice. Maybe it was good that my Dad was coming into town. It was clear to me that it was increasingly important that I face my past with Peter and the damage he had done head on before it ruined any chance I had at happiness.

The clock read six thirty by the time I made it home giving me very little time to shower and change before it was time to meet Rosalie and the gang for dinner.

I made it to Monty's later than I had hoped but not so late that Rosalie would nag me. The usual suspects were gathered around, Emmett and Rose, Alice and Jacob. Jacob pulled me into a tight hug.

"So you and Edward are no more eh? Came to your senses did you?" He was ribbing me but I was not in the mood.

"Don't go there Jacob." I snarled and pushed him away.

"Cut it out, Jake" Rose yelled at him.

We ate quickly and headed over to Kelly's Bar. The place was jumping and I had two beers in me in no time. Jake got the hint and thought of other ways to tease and josh with me besides invoking Edward's name. He had me laughing at last. We were a little unsteady as we attempted to play pool and drink like there was no tomorrow.

I happened to glance up and my breath caught as I thought I saw a bronze head flash by. I was wrong but couldn't help the deep disappointment that coursed through me.

"Who's up for another game of pool and where's my beer?" I shouted to cheers and whoops from our table. It was time to get my drunk on.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

_**Saturday morning – **_

I rolled out of bed steadying myself feeling like I'd spent a week in the Sahara I was so dehydrated. I went straight to the kitchen not bothering to pull on clothes and poured myself a large glass of ice water. I gulped it down and refilled my glass carrying it to the bathroom with me taking a Tylenol to ward off the looming hangover. Last night I drank like a fish wanting to avoid having to think about Edward but as soon as I woke up the longing for him returned along with concern for him as I wondered about the fallout from his dinner with Tanya. I took what seemed like an hour long piss, which left me feeling so much better, then headed back to bed.

I'd arrived home after two in the morning tossed off my clothes and fell face forward into my bed and didn't move again until it was time to get up.

As I lay in my bed I pushed my covers off as my room increasingly warmed and was momentarily lost in a reverie of my time with Edward. I drifted thinking of his warm touch finding that I was lightly stroking my cock to full erection remembering our brief time together…

The phone rang and I saw that it was my father. Instant deflation.

"Hey Dad how was the trip? Did you sleep well?" I sat up. It didn't seem right to be reclining in my bed when I spoke with my Dad. Stupid, I know.

"It was good Jasper and I did manage to catch some sleep after I logged a few hours on the laptop. Join me for lunch here at the hotel say, twelve-thirty?"

"Sounds good, see you then." I lay back down, feeling the effects of last night and curled myself around my duvet and sunk into a deep sleep. I dreamt of Edward.

_Edward is standing by my bed, silhouetted by the moonlight streaming through my blinds. He was naked and erect; he wants me badly, I can sense it. His hand is stroking up and down his immense member as he gazes at me with intense longing moaning with desire. It was the look he had when I spent a drunken night at his place. He is intensely beautiful and I want to fuck his brains out._

"_Come here baby," I say and reach my arms out for him. Edward sinks down on all fours and hovers over me panting with desire. I grab his face and rise up kissing him forcefully. Our mouths are sloppy, kissing and nipping and pulling and tugging at nipples and lips and necks. He kisses down my chest and stomach and takes me in his mouth sucking and swirling his tongue until I can no longer hold back. I come forcefully down his throat…_

Beep…beep…beep…beep my alarm clock blares shocking me out the most intense sex dream I have ever had. No, I wanted it to be real. I'm unhappy to be awake.

I look over at the clock on my nightstand. Shit, it's 11:30!

I rolled out of bed moving now, as I didn't want to be late for lunch. I showered quickly; cleaning the dream off my chest and abdomen and given the time, dressed in haste and booked it to my Dad's hotel.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Of course my Dad chose to stay at the Four Seasons Hotel. My father loved to indulge in a luxurious lifestyle but he did so with grace. I quickened my pace anxious to see him again and entered the hotel nodding briskly at the doorman. I was smiling with anticipation seeking him out when I spotted him in front of the restaurant and broke into a wide grin. "_There's my Dad," _I thought, my chest bursting with pride. God, I prayed our estrangement was over; I needed him so much!

I closed the distance between us, took a chance and embraced my Dad instantly feeling his warmth and love envelope me as he hugged me back tightly. I couldn't help the tears that followed, happiness at his greeting and grateful to be held so dearly by him but deep sadness at the apparent loss of my love, Edward. I was overwhelmed by my conflicted emotions.

"Why are you crying Jasper?" My Dad was concerned at my overwrought appearance.

"Just really happy to see you, Dad." I wiped my eyes and we approached the hostess.

After we were seated and had perused the menus, we ordered lunch and sipped at our drinks. We were quiet, meaninglessly discussing the menu offerings and our preferences, the weather and other pointless subjects.

The waitress brought our selections and briefly lingered near me trying to catch my eye. _Sorry dear, maybe in another lifetime._

I was ravenous and consumed my lunch without another word. Dad did all the talking filling me in on what Mom was up to and how the New York firm he headed was doing. He rambled on about Rosalie and Emmett and the football game invite whereupon my stomach clenched again as I was reminded of Edward. I dreaded our coming meeting at the game. What would I say?

I heard Dad clear his throat and I tensed, worried over what he was about to say.

"First, Jasper, let me say how incredibly proud I am of you and how successful you've become all on your own." His eyes misted and he looked at me pleadingly.

"Well, obviously Dad, I have to thank you for paying for law school but I deeply appreciate your words." I said jokingly but was suddenly shy; I'd never seen him so emotional. I clutched my napkin and avoided his eyes as I pondered his words.

"There's more son, I owe you my deepest apology for not being there for you when you needed me most. I went to a counselor about my reaction to you coming out as gay, it was so wrong of me to pull away from you. You know I love you don't you? You being gay means nothing to me; you are still my beloved son."

"Of that Dad, there is no doubt in my mind and thank you for being so honest." I grabbed his hand and he gripped it tightly, squeezing his eyes shut. I was enveloped in an intense feeling of relief and comfort knowing I had my old man back; I smiled timidly at him. He continued looking a little grim.

"After the horror show Peter put you through, I feared for you in that environment and decided to do what I could to help you out. Given how tenuous our relationship was at the time doesn't mean I didn't love and want the best for you." I wanted to cry once again, he had been there for me all along the way as he sorted his own emotions out. I couldn't love him any more than I did at this very moment.

"Ed Senior and I went to law school together; I mean you do realize we're both attorneys, right?" He chuckled and winked at me making me smile. I was surprised. Did I know that? I wondered how closely I had paid attention to his law school stories.

"You and I weren't talking, remember, however I knew you and Rosalie were still communicating. It made sense to me to try and get the two of you nearer to each other. In any case, I called in a favor. I asked Ed if he would consider interviewing you for his firm after I determined there was an open position. My desire was to give you a chance to get away from Texas. I asked Rosalie to get the information to you. My other choice was to call a friend here in Manhattan but I thought I'd try the Cullen firm first." I was suddenly furious, my cheeks flaming. I started out of my chair in fury. He saw my ire and held up his hand stopping me.

"I know what you're thinking and no Jasper, you weren't hired because of me; it was all due to your experience and background. All I did by providing you the opportunity was to open the door and allow you to sell yourself. Your credentials and excellent trial experience won him over, not our past history. I shouldn't even have to explain; you know how good you are." He sat back satisfied with himself but anxious still for my reaction.

I sighed, settling back in my chair.

"Dad, thanks, I was about to blow a fuse thinking you'd pulled strings."

"I'd never do that to you, son. Now let's change the subject. Tell me about this big case you're working on." I related the progress we had made and Claire's sad state as we ate our lunch. He made a few suggestions, which I would e-mail to Edward. Talking about Edward was becoming ever more dicey.

"So, Ed's boy; it sounds you two have made tremendous progress working the Jason Electronics case together." The mention of Edward sent me sideways. My Dad noticed.

"Talk to me Jasper, I can see the light has gone out of your eyes," I dropped my head and fought a losing battle with my tears.

"Does it have to do with Edward? Unrequited love can be difficult…"

"It's not like that." I choked out.

"Can we leave now? I'm afraid I'm going to lose it, Dad."

"Let's go up to my room and talk," He stood, grabbed my bicep and ushered me out of the restaurant nodding at the waitress to bill the meal to his room and walked me straight to the elevator. We took the express as he was in the penthouse so we didn't have to wait long.

His room was spectacular which was to be expected, nothing less than the best for my Dad. I aspired to be like him. I am like him. I was just gay. I chuckled lightly causing my Dad to glance at me curiously.

"I was just reflecting on how alike we are except that I'm gay." He laughed lightly and ushered me in to the room, which was more like a large sumptuous apartment.

I sat on the sofa as he poured us both generous amounts of scotch. This was going to be THE TALK of all talks. We needed a little lubrication to proceed.

"Tell me about Edward." He started. I sighed sadly, leaning back in the couch thinking about how to start. I swallowed the balance of my drink, letting the slow warmth relax me as I closed my eyes and visualized the man I love.

"Edward is everything I would ever want in a partner, Dad. He's a shark in the courtroom, incredibly relentless a take no prisoners sensibility that I deeply admire. His research is impeccable and…"

"Stop Jasper, is that why you love him?" He caught me off guard and I dropped my gaze to the floor.

"Oh no, that just deepens my admiration. He is considerate caring and loving and, and...I…he's so beautiful…" I can't continue, knowing my hesitance may have cost me a shot at perfection. I shut down and stand needing to get home before I drink myself into a stupor.

"I need to get home, Dad, I need to change." I walked to the door but he held me back as he hugged me tightly.

"Son, don't give up on love." He whispered, kissing me on the cheek. "I love you Jasper and I'll see you at dinner." With that, I departed and headed back to my place. So many things I thought I knew were turned upside down this afternoon. I was grateful for my Dad of that I had no doubt.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

I pulled up at the Four Seasons shortly before seven and saw that my Dad was already waiting. He entered my car and we headed out to Damien's to meet up with Rosalie. I was somewhat dreading the encounter. At least Dad wouldn't be taken by surprise given our earlier conversation about my feelings for Edward. Who knows what Rose would say? It's not like she was known for keeping things to herself given that she wasn't exactly pleased with him.

We found Rosalie sitting at the bar waiting for us to arrive. Part of me wondered whether Emmett would be here but he was nowhere to be seen. Rosalie looked at us anxiously but broke out in a big grin when she spied our Dad.

They embraced greeting each other happily. I was pleased beyond words that the three of us were together again. We were missing Mom but maybe someday soon she would join us as well.

The hostess led us to our table and we settled in for food, drink and conversation. The time flew as Dad regaled us with stories of home and Mom getting us laughing and teasing as we did when we were kids. I can't remember a night lately that felt this good. Well maybe one…

"I'm surprised Emmett's not here Rose." I said between bites of food. She bit her lip anxiously avoiding my eyes.

"Are you guys okay?" I inquired.

"Yeah fine, I mean we just started dating. He had to go to a family dinner and couldn't make it." She was dragging out her answer which made me suspicious.

"So why the long face? I drained my wine glass savoring the excellent bouquet.

"I just miss him. He wants you to call him though, about Edward."

I worried about what this meant for Edward. Was he okay? Did he need me? I texted him earlier about the case but had yet to hear back.

We finished up dinner and my Dad took care of the bill. We said our goodbyes to Rosalie promising to get together in the near future. I dropped Dad at his hotel and headed home happy to see my family but bothered by why Emmett wanted to talk to me about Edward.

I was tired and decided to wait until tomorrow to touch base with him.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

We arrived just as the players ran out of the locker room for introductions.

The private box was luxurious and could have held up to thirty people comfortably. For now, the crowd was about half- that but it was still early.

The spread and alcohol provided was sinful in its abundance and variety. I had a hard time deciding where to start so I grabbed a beer and joined my father. I stumbled slightly when I realized he was talking with Ed Senior and the object of my affection, Edward. Gorgeous as ever he appeared to have lost weight. He stood a little to the side away from me avoiding eye contact.

"Jasper, look who joined us, my old college buddy Eddie and his son with whom I'm sure you're well acquainted." He chuckled and something passed between Ed Senior and him, a knowing smile.

Damn my nosy Dad!

"Nobody calls me Eddie anymore but you Clete." He roared with laughter and slapped Dad on the shoulder.

My Dad turned and addressed Edward. "So Edward, tell me about your perspective of the case. I'd like to hear your take, I've heard Jasper's and I had some thoughts." I listened distractedly as Edward rambled on for a while. All that I registered were the honeyed tones of his velvet voice crooning to my soul. Soon my Dad and Ed Senior drifted off deep in conversation leaving Edward and I standing awkwardly together clutching our beers.

"I stood nervously trying to think of something to say." He looked at me with sad eyes.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to jump you, been there done with that" he chuckled mirthlessly "You can relax."

Okay, I deserved that…

He turned away from me and walked back towards Ed Senior. Edward leaned forward on the railing at the front of the box and engaged his father in conversation. I saw Ed Senior reach out and rub the back of Edward's neck, seemingly in solace as they continued to talk. He looked wistful but managed a smile at whatever Ed Senior said.

I had never felt as lonely in my life as I did at that moment. It didn't last too long as Dad approached me with the promised plate of food and a couple of beers. We sat together eating and watched the game. He rambled on but it was hard to pay attention to his words or the game. My entire focus was on the center of my universe as I had come to realize that my feelings for Edward had not diminished in the least. It was difficult to keep from stealing glances at Edward and his father.

Emmett put on an all-star performance that kept us all jumping up from our seats hollering as he led score after score. Rosalie was beaming with pride. The game went by fairly quickly but regardless of the excitement I was aware of every move Edward made. He chose to sit on the opposite side with our fathers between us clearly discouraging conversation. I sensed when he rose to grab a beer or snack always seeming lost in thought. He didn't glance my way.

The Seahawks won the game thanks to Emmett's amazing skills and we were all saying our goodbyes. Dad and I weren't lingering while Rose Edward and Ed Senior would be waiting for Emmett to finish up. It struck me just then how odd it was that Carlisle and Esme weren't at the game considering he was Carlisle's son. I grabbed my jacket and followed Dad to the exit.

I chanced a glance back at Edward and was caught in his gaze, eyes bright not leaving mine. He smiled slightly and gave me a wave. My breath hitched. Did we have a chance? Am I ready now that I know what I could potentially lose?


	17. Chapter 17

_**I own nothing of Twilight. The story idea is mine. In case you haven't figured it out yet, I decided that I wanted to portray a story of a gay man coming to terms with himself in an environment of love rather than total rejection although there will be moments…that both of these boys come from loving families. Despite how difficult and angst filled it is to declare yourself, honesty trumps hiding in the shadows every time despite the bumpy road. Thanks for the reviews, I read and appreciate them!**_

**Blind Faith**

**Chapter 17**

**Edward**

**.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.**

"_See you Sunday." Impulsively I leaned in and kissed his cheek. I hadn't done that since I was 10. I saw a sea of emotions cross his face as he turned to leave._

"_Bye Son."_

"_Bye Dad."_

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

_**Saturday morning –**_

I awoke with no sense of what time it was. My blinds were tightly shut letting in very little light. My body felt weighed down, heavy and sluggish. Dinner last evening with Tanya went as badly as I feared and I dreaded the conversation with my Mom I'm sure was going to happen at dinner this evening. Was I up to the drama?

Thank God that father descended on me last night; his powerful presence and words soothed me. I needed his counsel now more than I ever had. Releasing the pent up anger and hostility I had held onto for years was freeing. It certainly seemed as if my every day existence had become a soap opera; events seemed no longer within my control, at least it felt that way. Hopefully with my father's advice I could make sense of my personal life once again.

My phone vibrated once, twice. I checked it noting a text from my father and a couple of calls from Emmett. I tossed it down on the covers and turned over wrapping myself in my comforter and squeezing my eyes shut. The phone vibrated again, teasing me to see who called but I didn't bother to look. I was in no mood to communicate with anyone right now.

Wallowing in self-pity, I thought of Jasper and how dismissive he had been at work yesterday. God, I still wanted him badly! The desire hadn't waned from the first moment that I saw him causing the period of temporary insanity that drove me to my desperate charade as Seth. I loved it when he called me "Sethie"; I missed him so much it hurt.

My hands clenched in fists covering my eyes as I tried to wipe images of last night's dinner from my brain. Tanya was devastated, unable to let me go begging for us to stay together, wanting me to father her child. I winced; I guess I can now understand the feeling of rejection! I lay flat on my back groaning at what I anticipated would be a day from hell. Could Tanya and I be friends again? I prayed that I could salvage something from our lifelong relationship and that she would come to understand that lying about who I am is no longer an option.

It occurred to me to change my plans for dinner at Mom's but that would be the coward's way out. Better to get all of the angst out of the way and maybe we could all come to terms with my new reality. I still cared deeply for Tanya and hated to see her suffer, I'm sure Mom was comforting her even as I lay like a lump in bed. What time was it anyway? I finally picked up my phone to check the time and saw the last text I'd received was from Jasper.

My hands shook with anticipation curious as to why he would text me.

**-Edward, spoke with my father at lunch today. He has some insights that would be helpful for the Jason Electronics case. Will send e-mail with more detail. Regards, Jasper.-**

Regards? Why did he bother? Disappointment crawled through my veins as I crashed back down in my bed realizing it was late in the afternoon and I had slept most of the day away.

Why did he bother?

I pushed my covers off and strode to the bathroom increasingly pissed off. I shook off the self-indulgent languor and started my shower. The guy staring back at me in the mirror looked like shit. That guy wasn't me.

Why did he bother?

I was obsessing over the stupid text. Should I respond? I decided against texting him back; it would only extend the pain as it was becoming increasingly apparent I was fighting a losing battle for his love.

He was just being a colleague, I reminded myself stepping under the water allowing it to flow over my body as I leaned my forehead against the tiled wall between my hands. The tears flowed and quickly washed down the drain as I cried away my loss of both Tanya and Jasper.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

My phone vibrated once again. I shut it off and stuffed it in my pocket. I was late for dinner hurrying to my car. I arrived a little after six and bounced up the stairs pulling the front door open.

I was greeted by absolute silence.

I walked in cautiously furrowing my brow and observed the group seated around the dining room table. There was Carlisle and my mom, Emmett and to my extreme surprise Tanya although I shouldn't have been surprised at all.

No place had been set for me.

Emmett stood dropping his napkin on the table and walked towards me an apologetic look on his face.

"Dude," he said huskily "Didn't you get my texts?"

I thought about the messages on my phone that I hadn't checked and realized too late that I was not wanted here.

Tanya stood teary eyed and began to sob loudly.

"I thought you said he wouldn't be here." She said pointing at me and whined loudly. My Mom quickly embraced her looking at me with empty eyes. They turned away and walked out of the room together without another word.

She chose Tanya. I was devastated.

"I'm sorry son" Carlisle approached me, placing his hand on my shoulder "You need to give us a little time…" I was pissed, my anger and resentment growing by the second.

I wrested my arm away looking between Carlisle and Emmett's hangdog faces.

"I'm not your son." I snarled twisting away from his hold. I stepped quickly down the steps unsure of what to do next. Dinners at my Mom's were such an institution I was at a loss at where to go but I needed to get the hell out of here. Emmett followed me back to my car.

"Edward, they're all shook up, give them time and everything will be…" I turned towards him.

"You knew and let me twist in the wind. Fuck off Emmett!"

"Fuck you Edward, I tried to warn you! Dude, I'm here for you. Stop being such a selfish prick and see it from their perspective. I know you're going through a lot but so are they! Tanya means so much to your parents, you know that and you also should have figured out that finding out that you're gay with no warning pulled the rug out from under their feet." He was holding my arm tightly then suddenly pulled me into a hug. "I love you bro' I'll do what I can to fix this."

"She didn't give me a chance to tell them." She used my confession to turn my parents against me.

I clung to him for a moment then backed away.

"I've got to go. See you Emmett." I got into my car and squealed out driving way too fast. Fuck, I'm going to kill myself if I don't calm down. I frantically pulled at my hair completely unsettled.

I didn't want to go home yet; I wasn't tired in the least having slept most of the day away.

Maybe I'll get something to eat, have a beer and try to calm down, make some sense out of the mess that is my life. I avoided places I figured my friends would go…_yeah what friends_. I went to a diner I rarely frequented. I needed a drink stat.

I walked in and plunked myself heavily in the booth furthest in the back. Out of habit I pulled out my phone paused then sighed not ready to read the missed texts, to see evidence that my own family rejected me in favor of my ex-girlfriend. I stuck it back in my pocket, hung my head and admired the chipped Formica.

A menu appeared on the table followed by a place mat, silverware, napkin and a cup of water in short order. I glanced up at the waiter who graced me with a pleasant smile. He was cute.

"What's your pleasure, sweetie?" he said. I smiled back wearily at his perkiness, at least someone was happy.

I looked at his nametag; "Rick" was his name.

"First off I want a pitcher of beer and then since I'm starving maybe you can tell me what's good on the menu."

"Sure hon- I'll be right back with your beer." He traipsed off and I couldn't help feeling just a little better.

He returned with a pitcher and two glasses.

"I only need the one glass." I said.

"I know" he rolled his eyes. "The other one is for appearances! So I recommend the Reuben on rye, a side of Cole slaw and fries. You can also get onion rings if you want, they're my favorite!" God, he's adorable!

"All right, I'll go with your suggestions including the onion rings." I chuckled, momentarily forgetting my angst. You can only be a downer for so long.

"Can I suggest dessert for you as well?" he raised his eyebrows in question.

"Go for it!" I nodded my head in affirmation increasingly charmed by Rick.

"The chocolate cheesecake is fabulous and paired with a cappuccino, mmmm, perfect!" His eyes twinkled at me. I couldn't keep the grin off of my face.

"Let's do it!" I said enthusiastically then flushed. I briefly forgot all my troubles. I reached for the pitcher to pour myself a glass of beer as a distraction from my obvious attraction to Rick. I watched him as he walked away admiring his tight jean clad ass.

I gulped down my beer while waiting for my food refilling my cup and sipping slowly as I reflected on the changes I'd been through in the last few weeks. I was sad but I was no longer confused and conflicted. I'm gay. I accept that now with all of the challenges that entails.

I want Jasper; I still am strongly drawn to him however it seems like impossibility right now. Maybe we can be friends at some point when I'm better able to control my lust for him.

My Mom and Carlisle disappointed me. I'm not sure whether I should be the one to approach them. I had been a good and responsible son and my only crime it seems is not living the dream they planned for me. I shouldn't need to have to apologize for being true to myself. Maybe Tanya needs them more than I do and wondered what I'd be doing next Saturday. Would I be welcomed back or permanently exiled? Perhaps I should just plan a return to the diner. It was pleasant enough. I finished off my second glass of beer and smiled as Rick approached with my sandwich.

"Here you go hon-"He placed my plate down in front of me then he reached for the pitcher and refilled my glass.

"Call me Edward" I blurted then blushed at my stupidity.

He grinned, showing off his dimples and sparkly blue eyes.

"Okay, Edward, enjoy your meal." He held my eyes a moment longer than was comfortable, his lips slightly parted. And with that he withdrew to another booth to get the next patron's order.

Cue pants tightening.

"Huh…" Maybe life wasn't so terribly gloomy after all!

Maybe there really were other fish in the sea.

It's amazing how a little flirtation could validate one's self esteem. I leaned back in the booth full from this wonderful meal feeling slightly buzzed. I leaned in to grab the pitcher but a hand stopped me. A thrill pulsed up my arm and zipped directly to my cock.

"That's my job." he whispered throatily leaning a little closer as he filled my glass once again. I was appreciative of how well he did his job. I wondered what else he might be good at.

"Are you ready for dessert?" He held my gaze as I admired his pouty lips. Dare I say I wanted to kiss him?

"Oh yeah, I'm ready." I sipped my beer as we eye fucked each other, licking the stray drops off my lips.

He took a ragged breath and straightened.

"I'll be right back hon-…Edward."

I breathed deeply and collected my wits. Flirting with Rick was fun and I don't even care whether he's gay or not although I kind of suspected he was!

He returned right away with the cheesecake and cappuccino. It smelled heavenly. I dug in realizing I probably put on five pounds from this meal alone, which was okay by me, I needed to put some weight on. Given my frazzled state of late, I hadn't paid much attention to food.

Rick returned with the bill and a mint. I plunked down a couple of twenties.

"Keep the change. The meal and the service were great." His eyes widened and it was Rick's turn to blush.

I stood and stretched making room for my meal. I was getting a little sleepy from the combination of beer and food.

"So Rick, do you usually work Saturdays?" I inquired hoping to see him again.

"Yup, this is my regular shift" he said tentatively.

"Well, maybe I'll see you again next week…" I winked at him and waved goodbye.

Me, Edward Cullen winked at a guy and was happy about it. The world, as I know it, will never be the same.

I took stock and decided I was good to drive home; in any case, I didn't have far to go.

By the time I got home it was after ten o'clock and I realized I still hadn't checked my phone. With a shock it dawned on me maybe I should shut it off more often.

I trudged up the steps to my front door yawning but oddly satisfied at how my day ended. I didn't need to be reminded of the drama and angst right now or the man I pined for. No, tonight the phone would stay off and I would hopefully sink into a dreamless sleep.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

_**Sunday – **_

I awoke refreshed for the first time in weeks and scrambled out of bed anxious to get my day started. My bedroom was a mess clearly reflecting my state of mind as of late. The window blinds still shut tight allowed no sun in so I yanked them up letting the brilliant sunshine flood in. I picked up the scattered clothes and unceremoniously deposited them in a heap by the bedroom door.

This place no longer felt like home to me; it was where Tanya and I spent out time together. I would be handing the keys and title over to her then start looking for a new place immediately so I could make a clean break with the past. Money was hardly an issue; my next home would reflect my taste not a concession to someone else's desires. Tanya insisted that she have a say in the decorating assuming she would be moving in after we married which is why the place always seemed more hers than mine.

Smiling broadly to myself I was energized, actually feeling happy, as if a load had been lifted from my shoulders.

Practically dancing, I set my IPod in the Bose dock and cranked up the music so I could hear it over the shower. I started the water and grabbed some fluffy towels while the water heated, singing along with the song.

I made quick work of my shower wrapping the towel around my waist and set out to pick out something to wear from the remaining clean items.

I smiled as I thought back to last night and the fun I'd had at the diner flirting with Rick. I was actually considering asking him out!

A pang of sadness struck me momentarily shaking my happy mood. Mom and Carlisle still made no move to contact me as far as I knew. It occurred to me that I should check my messages before I confirmed that to be true. I shook it off dressing quickly happy to be going to the game with my father. Typically I would be accompanying Carlisle and occasionally Mom to Emmett's game.

The wonderful aroma of coffee filled the air so I descended to the kitchen barefoot to grab a cup as I made the last of my preparations. With my cup in hand I sat at the counter and contemplated my phone, which had been turned off since yesterday. It was with a slight sense of dread that I turned it on.

The blasted thing buzzed to life with a fury and I counted twenty-two text messages and five voicemails that had accumulated in the last day. I scrolled down checking the texts finding that half of them were from Emmett. Poor guy really had made an effort to warn me about the cluster fuck that was about to befall yesterday. There were three from Craig Matthews. Curious, I opened his texts finding that the first two covered retrieving the files we had promised in discovery. The last was odd; he wanted to confirm the rumor that Tanya and I had broken up was true. Why on earth would he care? I didn't bother to respond.

I also had three texts from my father confirming our arrangements for today. I texted him in return so he wouldn't worry.

There was a text from Maria and one from Bella. I'd check those later. The last three texts were from Jasper. I was reminded of how disappointed I was by his message yesterday. I'm sure more of the same but I couldn't resist the urge to check:

…_**Edward, Not sure if you know but my Dad and I will be at the game tomorrow. I just wanted to give you a heads up. Jasper…**_

As it turns out I didn't know. I'm glad he told me; we'd had enough awkward encounters lately to last a lifetime.

…_**Edward, Checking to see if you got my text…**_

I couldn't help smiling at his discomfort. Deep down I knew he was a confused mess. His consideration of my feelings was sweet.

…_**E, CUL8R. Japserr…**_

Huh? Who misspells their own name? Maybe Jasper had a few too many when he sent that last text, I chuckled. Oh, beautiful boy…

I checked the voicemails; they were all from Tanya. I decided to forego the "pleasure" of listening to her whine and cry deleting them without listening.

All messages had been cleared so it was evident Carlisle and Mom saw fit to ignore me at a time I could have used their comfort. It hurt a lot but I cried a lifetime over the past few weeks. I was not going to grovel and I was not going to stew in anger and resentment. I had a new life to build and our future relationship would be on my terms especially if they chose to favor Tanya.

A sharp rap announced my father's arrival. I opened the door and grinned widely at his attire.

"Gee Dad; are you a Seahawks fan or what?" I laughed at his get up as he pulled me close for a hug.

"Here, have a cap. I have a shirt for you in my car." He wiggled his eyebrows at me. This was going to be fun.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

My father had the pregame show on the radio so we drove in silence for the most part other than a few outraged outbursts from him at the commentary. As we drew closer to the stadium my thoughts turned to Jasper and how we would act with each other. The last time I saw him he was so flustered and bothered I had to let him be. I had been too aggressive in my pursuit of Jasper and it ultimately drove him away. I'll give him his space; hopefully he'll find what he needs.

It did not escape me that it was me who just days ago was the epitome of a confused mess. For some unexplained reason, from the moment I clarified the situation with Tanya and what I perceived as rejection from Carlisle and Mom, I had a certain clarity of purpose, certainty where I had hidden craven from exposure. This life was mine only. It was my decision whether to be happy. In a way, I had sudden insight to Jasper's uncertainty and hesitance.

Traffic was heavier than we expected so we did not get to the stadium until after kickoff. Fortunately we had private parking near the front.

By the time we got to our box, the crowd was cheering a score. I mentally pictured Emmett leading the charge. How right I was! The group was milling about. Some were seated, others were leaning on the front railing engrossed in the game. I quickly scanned the room and spotted Jasper at the bar. My father caught my arm and pulled me towards someone who looked astoundingly like Jasper. This had to be his Dad.

"Clete! It's so good to see you. When did you get into town?" And they were off in their own world talking and reminiscing about their college years. My father stopped momentarily and introduced me to Jasper's Dad.

"Edward, you're the spitting image of your father only better looking!" He chuckled at his own joke. "Jasper really thinks highly of you…" The way he said it left me bothered.

Out of the corner of my eye I noticed someone stumble a bit as they approached us. Jasper. I pulled back a bit to give him a comfort zone so he wouldn't feel like I was stalking him.

As the conversation droned on I tried to keep my focus everywhere but on Jasper. I gulped down my beer and was about to go for another when our fathers drifted off, deep in conversation leaving Jasper and me standing awkwardly looking anywhere but at each other.

He stuttered over something to say, I didn't really hear him so I decided to put him out of his misery.

"Don't worry I'm not going to jump you. Been there, done with that. You can relax." I turned away from his wounded expression giving him some space. It was harder than I expected to be near Jasper, he was gorgeous as ever. I could still recall the feel his cool skin against my fingertips and his breath against my neck. I walked to the railing to gather myself.

My father approached leaning close. "Is it all too much Edward?" he said quietly rubbing my neck gently.

"God, I want him so badly but I have to give him room to figure things out for himself." I sighed.

"That's the right thing to do." He patted my back and we returned to our seats and watched the rest of the game. The Seahawks won and Emmett was the hero once again. Rosalie was jumping up and down and I noticed for the first time that Alice was there too. She must have come in late.

We said good-bye to Jasper's Dad. I saw Jasper hanging back walking away but at the last second he turned and our eyes caught. His were blazing into mine pleadingly. _Jasper, figure out what you want. _I thought.

I gave him a little wave and smiled. _Bye Jasper_. His eyes brightened and he turned to leave. I watched him until he disappeared from sight.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Emmett was his boisterous self at dinner regaling us with his game time heroics. He kept stealing little glances at me as if to see how I was doing. I flipped him off and he smiled. We're good.

The obvious absence of Carlisle and my Mom was noticed but not commented upon.

Emmett couldn't contain himself; he let loose with a few gay jokes and asked if I'd be decorating my new place. Alice, here with Rosalie had recently finished decorating Jasper's home and did an amazing job. I could see her twitching in her seat trying to restrain the desire to inquire about my decorating needs.

"Well, I've been thinking about hiring someone to help me develop some ideas…" I rolled my eyes and held back a chuckle as I watched Alice bouncing in her seat practically screaming me, me ME!

I wondered whether it was a good idea for one of Jasper's close friends to help me out but I decided to throw caution to the wind.

"Alice, do you know of anyone who could help me out? I only want the best, of course." I could see Rosalie's eyes grow wide and I wondered if she was thinking about Jasper as well. He would have been here if things between us had been different. I know I wasn't high on Rosalie's list of favorite people. I figured she wasn't keen on the idea but Alice took the bait.

"Edward, I'm the best and I would love to give you a proposal once you've found your place." Her eyes twinkled with excitement.

"Well that sounds great Alice, I'll keep you posted." I smiled brightly and changed the subject back to the game.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

This weekend had been momentous. I was exhilarated at the changes I had wrought for the better in three short days. It was excruciating at the time, but now, I have never felt more liberated.

One man had been the catalyst, Jasper. I loved him from the second he stepped foot in our offices and despite the odds I forged ahead and I had been accepted by most of my family in fact I was surprised at the lack of shock from most.

Jasper asked me not to make any decisions based on wanting him and it hurt being rejected but in retrospect, it was best that I made decisions based on my own self-interest.

Was there a chance for us? His sweet face as he left the stadium today gave me a slight sense of optimism. Only time would tell.

In the meantime, there was always Rick…

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

_**Okay, so a lot of you in your reviews indicate you are hoping the boys will talk soon well, you'll get your wish in the next chappie. There will also be secksi times in the next two chapters, whoo hoo! By the way, I will respond to your reviews as soon as I can. They are greatly appreciated!**_


	18. Chapter 18

**Blind Faith**

**Chapter 18**

**Edward**

Three weeks passed since my ill fated dinner with Tanya. I was still keeping my distance from Carlisle and my mother hurt by their reaction to our split. I'd received was one brief voicemail from Carlisle asking whether I would be attending the upcoming Saturday's family dinner to which I left a terse message indicating I didn't think the timing was right.

My Mom continued her complete silence and I was really taken aback. As I thought about it I had done absolutely nothing to her personally but I guess her feelings for Tanya trumped her maternal instincts. I was beginning to fear our relationship might have suffered irreparable harm and concluded I might need to confront her. That was a battle that could wait a few more weeks; I had a lot on my plate and was averse to more drama in my life as I adjusted to life as an openly gay man.

Emmett called me a few times but he was so wrapped up in Rosalie I chose to avoid going out with them as a group so that I didn't have to see Jasper socially. It was just too raw of a wound and sadly, it appeared as though Jasper and Jacob had indeed become an item.

I almost ran into them at Kelly's the Friday I came out to Tanya. After dropping Tanya at her place I decided to stop in for a quick beer on my way home. Our conversation had left me shaken. My gut clenched to see Jasper and Jacob happily playing pool joking with each other jostling back and forth. Rosalie and Emmett were there as was Alice. I hid in the shadows until I could leave unobserved. I didn't even wait to grab a beer. I was beginning to feel like a social outcast. My phone rarely rang.

The only saving grace was the increasingly warm relationship that I was building with Edward Senior. I finally had my Dad back. He surprised me becoming my biggest supporter encouraging me and occasionally providing off-color advice about sex that made me blush I mean, what did he know about gay sex?

As my champion, he took on the role of informing the other partners I was gay. He treated me exactly the same as always not as his "gay" son although like Emmett he couldn't resist a few interior decorating jokes. Our Sunday dinners were no longer awkward and we ended up attending a couple more football games.

After a brief search, I finally found a home that suited me perfectly; I'd always wanted something near the water and the spectacular view of the harbor at sunset won me over. It was way too much for one person but it is what I wanted. I stayed with Dad and Victoria for the few weeks while I searched for my new place and readied it for move in. Staying with them allowed me to really get to know Victoria and to understand her better although I don't think we'll ever be close. Who knows, I'm open to anything!

Alice was chomping at the bit ready to renovate and as soon as I closed and the place was mine she practically yanked the key from my hand so she could get started. I got the feeling she was going to be hard to contain. Alice worked at warp speed decorating and selecting furniture for my approval. The kitchen and outdoor barbeque area she deemed vital for entertainment. She set up an amazing indoor outdoor flow that I immediately fell in love with. I could visualize sitting outside relaxing in a chair as I watched the sun set. Between the renovations, the move and my heavy workload I kept myself from dwelling on Jasper constantly. He was never far from my thoughts, however and still haunted my dreams.

Work became an ever bigger focus as I strove to block out my personal issues. I was now officially "out" but it didn't seem to matter. Bella still hung on my every word gazing at me with cow eyes and Tanya glared viciously whenever we happened to cross paths in the office. Once I turned over the condo to her, Tanya wasted no time renovating it to suit her style I'm certain with my mother's help.

Sadly, it seemed as though there was little chance Tanya and I could salvage friendship from the wreck of our relationship. I had wronged her to the extent I was dishonest about my feelings for men and allowed our relationship to fester far longer than it should have due to my cowardice. I held out some small hope that the passage of time would heal the pain of rejection.

Jasper, beautiful as ever still deeply affected me but I kept it completely professional in the office. We were cordial and worked well together preparing for the upcoming trial that would be heard shortly after Thanksgiving. I avoided lunches alone with him even though he had asked a couple of times. It was just too painful to be around Jasper and think about what might have been.

I could not be "just friends" with Jasper so I thought it would be better to minimize our personal interactions outside of the office. Of course, since Emmett was preoccupied with Rosalie he became a regular in their social circle. No one deliberately kept me from being part of the group; it was my feelings for Jasper that created so much discomfort as well as my dislike for Jacob that kept me apart. Regardless, I was feeling very isolated.

Feeling particularly lonely one evening, I decided to call Rick and see if he was up for a night out; something simple with no strings. He returned my message excitedly and suggested dinner and a round of games at the arcade.

It turned out to be great fun. Rick is hysterical and great to be around. His bubbly personality pulled people to us and soon we had a group of six sitting at a table in the arcade downing brews and joking around.

The night ended around midnight with the two of us walking back to our respective cars, I was happy with how the evening had gone. I beeped my car open and turned towards Rick to say goodbye and to thank him for the lovely night. His eyes were gleaming seductively and he licked his lips readying to kiss me. I stiffened at his approach. He stopped himself sighing lightly then kissed my cheek.

"You're not ready, are you?" Rick was clearly disappointed with my inability to respond to him. I shook my head no, feeling a pang of sadness.

"Hey, no worries sweetie, let's keep it at friends, I know you need one." Relieved I hadn't pushed him away I gave him a big hug grateful that I had someone else in my corner.

"Thanks Rick, a friend is really what I need right about now."

"I'll be here when you're ready to talk. Now when are you having me over for dinner and Monday night football?" I laughed and pushed him away. Rick walked towards his car and gave me a big wave and a smile. Rolling down his window he shouted out at me as he drove away.

"See you at the diner Saturday hon-"I couldn't help but smile at his silliness. That was the start of a beautiful friendship. Rick was true to his word and never pressured me again for anything more than a hug or the occasional kiss on the cheek. I was finally able to open up to him one night as we barbecued at my place and had consumed a sufficient quantity of liquor to loosen my tongue. I poured out my sad story of lost love and my Mom's rejection. Rick listened patiently offering soothing words of comfort.

What Rick told me in return about how his family reacted when he came out to them made my whining seem pathetic by comparison. Rick was in graduate school at the time with one semester to go and not only did they reject him completely but they withdrew college funding leaving him unable to complete the program and effectively leaving him penniless. He was evicted from his apartment and spent a month in a homeless shelter before getting the job at the diner. Rick indicated his determination to finish his MBA program and become successful despite their cruel treatment of him. How he could maintain his cheerful, upbeat demeanor despite being left without family support humbled me.

We settled into a routine of Wednesdays at my place and Saturdays at the diner. I would arrive fairly late in his shift and he often came and sat with me as we talked about our week. I met and became close to some of his friends as well as a couple of folks we had partied with at the arcade. Life was pretty darn good for me socially but I was still lacking the one thing I wanted most; Jasper.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Weary from the stress of work and the issues I was having in my personal life being somewhat under control, I decided to take my Dad's advice and experiment a bit. I couldn't imagine having sexual feelings about Rick but I was seriously in need of release; the hand just wasn't doing it anymore. I wish that I had the nerve to call Jasper and ask him to go clubbing with me despite it all. It would be my first time out in the club scene as a gay man. Oh well, I sighed.

Thinking I would play it safe, I opted for the familiar and decided to return to Seth's Place. It wasn't without trepidation as I didn't have a clue as to how I should behave at the club as a gay guy.

The last time I was there I was emotionally drained over my need for Jasper. I still desperately wanted him, it just didn't seem like it was going to develop into a romantic relationship. We got off on the wrong track.

Tonight was about me. I was determined to have a good time.

My wardrobe was well stocked. The only issue I had was deciding what to wear. Did I want to do classy or casual? Did I want to attract a man tonight looking hot and sexy (could I do hot and sexy?) or was it better to be subdued and explore this new world from a distance.

I couldn't help but laugh at my nervousness. It was ridiculous how I was over thinking it all as if I actually needed to change my behavior. Impulsively I pulled out a snug gray silk shirt and paired that with and black slacks. This would do. The T-shirt style hugged my body in all the right places.

After I showered and shaved I paused to study myself in the mirror. Looking back at me was a pretty hot guy. I knew I attracted attention and damn it, I was going to go into Seth's confident. I wanted men to look at me tonight and desire me. Yes sirree. (I avoided the temptation to wink at myself; that seemed creepy in a "Taxi Driver" sort of way.)

I played with my hair a bit until it was organized chaos; the look worked for me.

I slipped on black silk socks and slid into black leather loafers. This pair of shoes was exceptionally comfortable for dancing.

Before leaving I took one last look at myself breathing deeply to relax. Satisfied, I grabbed a light jacket, my keys, phone and wallet.

Here goes nothing!

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

As I drove to Seth's Place, I gave myself a pep talk tapping along with the music getting geared up for my first club scene.

Okay, I was nervous as hell and debated turning around and heading back home. My heart thundered in my chest as I drew closer and my hands were slippery with sweat from gripping the steering wheel.

It was Saturday night and the place was jumping. The line was longer than I'd ever seen it. As a VIP member I was thankful that I didn't have to wait in line and maneuvered past the main entrance to the back of the club. As I prepared to make my turn I saw James out in front. Hopefully he was over being pissed about the Jasper incident. It had been a while. If I had a chance I would seek him out and apologize for my impulsive behavior which had caused him so much grief.

The key beeped as the lock engaged securing my car and I walked determinedly to the back door using the key fob to gain entrance. The door clicked allowing me access and I waited to proceed until it closed securely behind me. I walked slowly down the hall dragging my fingers along the door to the room where I had lain in wait for Jasper. I cringed, thinking back at what I had done.

The door to the private lounge was open but this was not my destination. I glanced in to find a small group talking quietly soft music setting an elegant mood. How refined. That's not what I wanted tonight. My destination was the main bar and dance floor straight ahead. I was not feeling refined tonight. I did leave my jacket with the coat check knowing it would probably be hot on the dance floor and I didn't want to be hampered.

The door opened smoothly after I pressed the electronic release. I was immediately assaulted by a cacophony of sound thumping loudly and lights flashing brightly. Yeah, things were looking up; I was feeling excited, no longer full of nerves.

More men, some couples engaged in amorous pursuits, graced the VIP area. I kept walking past them and descended the short staircase.

The long bar was my first destination. I was thrilled to actually be here the energy and excitement fueled my mood. Anxious to get a few drinks under my belt I approached the waitress and gave her my order.

I leaned up against the bar as there were no tables available and watched the dancers moving fluidly, bodies touching. Some were shirtless, gleaming with sweat; bodies, beautiful bodies writhing up against each other. As I watched I became increasingly aroused noting men grinding against each other front to back, front to front holding hips and swaying, kissing. The pulsing beat seemed endless. I wanted to be out there and soon.

The waitress returned with my drink and I took a quick gulp feeling the burn as I swallowed. I drank again and the warmth of the mellow scotch enveloped me.

I don't recall eating dinner so I'd better be careful. Not.

I downed the rest of my drink tapping my foot and nodding my head in time to the music. I smiled wickedly at the waitress and she returned quickly to refill my drink. I polished the second drink off quickly then decided to stick with water for a while as I didn't think it would be cool to get plastered the first time out.

"Hey, you lovely lovely man" a voice whispered, lips right at my ear. I smiled, thrilled that I'd caught someone's eye. I looked over and wham! This guy was hot and he wasn't at all shy. His blue eyes sparkled as he grinned at me, short slightly spiky blond hair and tan well muscled physique. He was about as tall as I am. I want him. He leaned in and licked me from collar bone to a spot behind my ear making me instantly hard and thankful I had chosen to wear briefs. I felt him rub up against my thigh and murmur:

"Dance with me?"

Oh yeah.

I pushed off the bar smirking at him with as sexy a look as I could muster, licking my lips. He took my hand and led me to the dance floor where we took our place amongst the writhing bodies.

"My name's Sam and you are?" He pulled my hips until we made contact grinning at each other as our bodies touched.

"Edward" I barely got it out overwhelmed by sensations of his hard body grinding on me as we swayed together to the music.

"Such an old fashioned name for such a hottie" He kept with the eye contact until he dipped in and nuzzled my neck taking little nips at my flesh. It was all I could do to keep from moaning out loud.

We danced and touched and flirted to the nonstop beat stopping to take a short break and another drink. His hands were all over me and I was starting to feel the effects of the alcohol.

We went out to dance again, sweaty by now. He was behind me as the music slowed moving his hard cock seductively against my ass while he palmed me with his hand squeezing me lightly in time with his movements. I pushed back against him on the edge of pain. I took one arm crooked it behind his neck and turned towards his face pulling him in for a kiss. He pushed my shirt up with his free hand stroking my abdomen and roaming up my chest to pinch my nipples as our tongues swirled in a heated kiss.

I was to the point of needing to pull him off the dance floor to continue in privacy when I came to my senses, I couldn't go further tonight and I was honestly feeling a little drunk. I broke the kiss and pulled away from him.

"Sam, I need to stop, this has been great" I gasped regretting it instantly.

"No," he whimpered not releasing me and continuing to kiss my neck.

"You are so fucking hot but I can't take it further." I gently pried his arms off and turned and kissed his lips.

"Are you with someone?" He asked.

"No it's not like that, there's no one, I'm just new at all this." He smiled brightly throwing his arms around my neck again.

"You're my little twink!" He kissed the tip of my nose. He looked at me seductively, "I'll teach you everything I know" He growled lowly making me laugh out loud and drawing attention to the two of us.

"Give me your phone he said brightly." I stumbled a bit as I dug it out of my pocket and watched him enter his digits.

"Call me lovely, I'll be waiting for you!" He leaned in and kissed me again then headed back out to the dance floor.

Wow, that was amazing! I'm definitely feeling the effects of alcohol and won't be driving anytime soon. I decided to have one more drink and move up to the VIP area and kick back for a while. I'm feeling pretty damn good about my first encounter since I came out. It's not like I took it that far but it was nice to be desired. I retrieved my drink and headed towards the stairs and ran right smack into Jacob.

"Oh fuck, not you." I rolled my eyes and tried to pass swaying slightly but he put his shoulder out blocking me.

"Wow, you move on fast." He snarled at me cocking his head back towards where Sam was dancing.

"Back off Jacob, I don't report to you last time I checked."

"What about Jasper?" He said not moving and continuing to block me.

"You know we're not together Jacob, You made damn sure of that." I was pissed now.

"I saw you and Jasper at Kelly's a few weeks ago looking pretty damn cozy. I left because it bothers me to see the two of you together. Now get the fuck out of my way and stay out of my life. Maybe we would have had a chance if you'd stayed the hell out of it." I pushed at his shoulder trying to get away from him. He was unmoved.

"Yeah, well if you would have stayed at Kelly's you would know that the guy is seriously pining for you."

"Liar" I sneered. "Why do you keep messing with me? What did I ever do to you?"

"It's not what you did to me but what you did to Jasper."

"Look Jacob, if you're such good buddies you would know he doesn't want to be with me. Jasper told me so himself. He told me he couldn't be with me. He's the one who pulled away, not me, I wanted him, I still do." I took a swig from my drink confused by Jacob's behavior.

"You've been aching to punch me out for weeks. Why don't you just take a swing and get it out of your system?" I growled at him. I was aware that I was talking loudly irritated beyond belief at Jacob's presumptuousness. Why he thought he had the right to continuously interfere in my personal business was beyond me.

I finished my drink and sat the tumbler down heavily realizing I was slightly unsteady on my feet. All I wanted was to get my happy buzz back and get away from a confrontation with Jacob knowing I would be blamed.

"I won't do that because it will hurt Jasper. He's in love with you not me, asshole." He finally stood aside.

"Just fucking stay away from me then Jacob. You keep sticking your nose where it doesn't belong."

I went to pass Jacob stunned by his words stumbled slightly and felt two strong hands grasp my arms to hold me steady. I assumed it was Sam come to rescue me.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"Did you think of me at all tonight?" The hair stood up on my neck and I froze.

"Jasper" I whispered.

"Yeah, I called him asshole; I didn't want you doing something stupid like driving home drunk." Jacob sneered at me.

I rolled my eyes at Jacob infuriated by his continued interference.

"I don't need a babysitter." I shrugged off Jasper's hands and skipped up the steps. I turned back to Jasper and Jacob. What was that look in Jasper's eyes?

"You two look good together." I said quietly as I walked away and looked for an available chair in the VIP area. My fun evening was ruined. The sight of Jasper tore at my soul, but there was no way I would succumb to him again. I found a comfortable sofa near an area that overlooked the dance floor and sank down avoiding the temptation to look back at them. Why did they insist on flaunting their relationship in front of me? Why call Jasper here? Seeing Jasper this way made my heart hurt.

The waitress approached me and I asked for a cappuccino. I was done drinking tonight.

I looked out over the dance floor and saw Sam waving at me. I smiled and waved back at him. He was sweet and sexy. I sipped my coffee and reflected on my evening waiting until I sobered up to head back home. Regardless of the outcome, I was happy that I had taken the chance to come to Seth's tonight no longer willing to hide in the closet. I was confident now more than ever that I could openly be in a relationship with a man. I just needed to find the right guy.

I felt the sofa dip as someone sat next to me. Great, I wanted to be left alone right now but I put on a friendly face.

I felt the heat from his body ignite a fire in me as his hot breath caressed the skin on my neck. "Edward, Jacob and I are not a couple. There has never been anything between us."

It was Jasper. I didn't know what to say to him. I suddenly felt a great sadness overcome me and dropped my face into my hands unwilling to look into his eyes.

"Jasper, I'm so tired." I felt his hand start rubbing my back comfortingly.

I turned my head to look at him with one eye, still slouched down in the sofa. He was so beautiful.

"What are we, Jasper? I'm wrung out from all the changes I've been through, my family is in turmoil and I've never felt more alone. At least Ed Senior has my back." I laughed cynically rolling my eyes. "You couldn't fucking decide whether you wanted a relationship and I'm tired of waiting for you to figure out your shit."

"You said that you didn't want to be with me. I honored your request trying to keep it professional at work. But then you were so hot and cold. Touching me at Kelly's and then leaving with Jacob, hugging me in the office…" I was rambling and not making much sense. I had so much frustration inside and no outlet for my confused feelings.

"I didn't say I didn't want to be with you, I said that I wouldn't be in a relationship with a closeted gay man, there's a big difference." He interrupted me frustrated.

"I am afraid too, Edward, I'm afraid of caring about you too much, of maybe even loving you. After Peter, I didn't want to plunge into a relationship so I resisted my deep desire for you."

"And now…"

"Please talk to me Edward; I'm tired of trying to stay away from you." His eyes were pleading.

I met his eyes.

"Then don't." I whispered.

Jasper cupped my face with his hands. I leaned toward him and we kissed. His hand curled around my neck pulling me close kissing me deeply as the music continued to pulse. The sound faded in the distance as I realized I was finally with the object of my desire touching me pulling at me urgently seeking to close the gap between our bodies.

I was overwhelmed by conflicting emotions spinning out of control. I pulled back gasping harshly.

"I can't," I panted.

"What's wrong?"

"I care about you Jasper, I mean, I really, really care but I'm sick of being toyed with. Your uncertainty is giving me whiplash. I can say the last few weeks have been freeing for me now that I can live honestly and openly and I thank you for pushing me, I even went on a date with a really sweet guy". I smiled a little remembering the fun Rick and I had at the arcade but he was not the guy and I want a relationship. Jasper bristled looking uncomfortable.

"Does that mean I don't stand a chance, am I too late?" Jasper looked forlorn. I traced his jaw and pulled him to me roughly. My lips were millimeters from his ear. "Oh no, that's not what I mean at all" I whispered huskily. "I need you to decide what you want and stick with it. I know I what I want and it's you Jasper, I never wavered."

I wanted him so badly I ached. "Jasper do you want me" I pleaded.

"Oh God yes, Edward, I only want you." He kissed me roughly, passionately sliding his tongue in my mouth. I sucked his tongue deeply into my mouth hearing a whimper escape from him. I opened my eyes and found he was looking at me with deep longing. His hands were buried in my hair gripping me tightly. I moved to crawl into his lap when I realized we were publicly groping each other.

"Baby, let me take you home." I licked up his neck sucking on his earlobe growling into his ear, "Please Jasper, we need to talk."

"I don't think I can move right now without exposing my stiff cock." He moaned and I whined as I continued to pepper kisses on every bit of his exposed skin.

"I'll give you a few moments to collect yourself." I growled softly nuzzling his neck, praying to myself this was real but worrying he would pull away again.

"Jasper," I sighed. "Please stop this if you aren't sure, I don't think I could take the rejection again."

"I've never been more sure of anything in my life, Edward. I was a fucking fool and hope you'll forgive me, I want you and only you." Jasper leaned aggressively forward and kissed me deeply gripping my hips and pulling me close panting his desire.

"Down boy," I chuckled. "We still need to make it to my place." I could barely contain my desire and I wanted us to be gone now. I was in no shape to drive so I decided to use the VIP car service. My phone beeped after a few short minutes indicating the car had arrived.

I pulled away from Jasper.

"Follow me, I need to get my jacket." I said and saw Jacob approach out of the corner of my eye as we rose to leave.

"Jasper, what are you doing?" he seethed glaring at me.

"I'm leaving with Edward, Jacob. It's what I want." He caught my eye and I saw the deep affection glowing back at me, finally, he was open to my love. I couldn't get us out of here fast enough.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

**Next chappie, the boys confirm their love. Lots of secks. I know I promised secks in this chappie but it will really happen. Promise.**


	19. Chapter 19

_**Thanks so much for the lovely reviews. I hope to respond to you over the next few days. It looks like I'm getting close to 300 reviews which is kind of exciting, this being my first fanfic. Hopefully I'll make it over the "hump" with this chappie (blushes shyly).**_

_**WARNING! IF YOU ARE UNDER 18 STAY OUT, THIS CHAPTER IS NOT FOR YOU. I OWN NOTHING OF TWILIGHT, THE STORY IDEA IS MINE.**_

**Blind Faith**

**Chapter 19**

**Jasper**

"_Follow me; I need to get my jacket" I said and saw Jacob approach out of the corner of my eye as we rose to leave._

"_Jasper, what are you doing?" he seethed, glaring at me._

"_I'm leaving with Edward, Jacob. It's what I want." Jasper said as he caught my eye and I saw the deep affection glowing back at me, finally, he was open to my love. I couldn't get us out of here fast enough._

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

We sat in the back of the town car our heads reclined back against the seat just staring at each other as we rode back to Edward's place, our fingers twining and untwining; each touch, each circle of his thumb on my palm sent a tremor through my body.

Edward as ever, took my breath away with his beauty. Even though he was slightly inebriated and a little rumpled, his alabaster skin was luminous as if lit from within. His cheeks were flushed from equal parts alcohol and arousal, his red lips just begging to be kissed. He flicked his tongue out causing my belly to clench with desire as my pants strained to contain my rigid member. I could not pull myself away from his gaze.

I pushed a lock of his tousled bronze hair from his face. Edward grabbed my hand and kissed my palm closing his eyes briefly and sighed against my skin. He continued to place soft kisses against my flesh as he caressed my hand trapping me in the emerald pools that were his eyes. If I were required at this moment to put a name to my feelings at this second I would only be able to produce one description of the emotion; total and irrevocable desire.

"_Are we there yet?" _I thought impatiently. It was becoming increasingly difficult to keep from straddling Edward's lap to grind my hard cock against his and garner some relief. Out of respect for his dislike of public displays of affection I held back, but was unable to suppress the quiet moan that escaped my lips.

He reached out to me and caressed my cheek smiling at me as he ran his fingers through my hair.

"Jasper, I'm so fucking happy right now that I'm having trouble forming a coherent sentence."

I chuckled at his crooked grin.

"I think the alcohol might have a little to do with that, darlin'."

Edward giggled infectiously causing me to join in the mirth.

"Mmm, I don't think so." His eyes grew dark, heavy lidded. He licked his lips again and leaned forward suddenly pulling me into his hard chest kissing me passionately, whispering my name between tongue tangling wet kisses. His fingers wound in my hair holding me firmly in place. As if I was going anywhere.

_I guess he's rethought his aversion to PDAs or he's extremely horny. I'll go with the latter!_

The car came to a stop and we pulled apart. I missed his heat instantly.

The driver exited the town car and held the door open for Edward and me to exit. I handed the driver a fifty just as Edward stumbled slightly. I grabbed him around the waist and steadied him. We paused for a moment holding each other and watched the car glide silently away.

I was reflective as we stood quietly just outside his place. The night had grown still, distant noises muffled. All I could hear was the lapping of water against the pier and Edward's steady breathing. Once we went inside our lives would never be the same. There was no way I dared enter his home if there was a chance I would pull away from him again and I was tired of causing him pain. I wasn't afraid any more. I wanted whatever this was with Edward.

His hot breath caressed my neck. He pulled me closer with one arm, his jacket hung casually over his shoulder dangling from his fingertips as he urged me along.

"Let's get you inside, Jasper."

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

To call his home amazing was to understate the case. Everything, from our walk up the lighted path lined by well-manicured plants to the massive wooden door we now stood before put me at a loss for words. I tried to drink it all in and we hadn't even entered yet!

Edward released me, but not before trailing his hand up my spine then back down lightly squeezing my ass.

"Hurry" I intoned causing him to snicker as he worked his key into the lock. The door opened to a softly lit foyer; again, I'm struck dumb by the architectural magnificence.

"Alice worked her magic as you can probably tell. I'm sure you'll see a few flourishes reminiscent of your place." Edward regarded me steadily then locked us in.

"Look around, I'll get us something to drink." I watched him walk towards the kitchen pushing open intricately carved ebony doors. He flicked on the lights and I spied hints of what was likely a well stocked gourmet kitchen any chef would envy.

I was captured by the sight before me as I drifted in further towards the living room area. The floor to ceiling windows provided an unparalleled view of Puget Sound harbor. I gasped at the beauty mesmerized by the lights flickering on the waves.

Leaning back against the back of a large leather sofa I crossed my ankles and idly trailed my hands along the upper edge appreciating the soft buttery texture just gazing ahead, hypnotized by the view.

The kitchen light shut off signaling Edward's return. The subdued glow that remained was primarily the result of ambient light from the full moon above. As he approached I stood and walked up to the glass window close enough to fog it a little with my breath. Edward touched my shoulder lightly. He reached his hand out and I took the proffered glass sipping slowly enjoying the sparkling water. I returned my gaze to the glorious vista before me.

"I think we've had enough alcohol for one night" Edward's velvety voice crooned. He was standing so very close to me.

"Edward, this view is fantastic." I whispered, feeling the heat from his body. The quiet enveloped us, no music played only our breathing disturbed the silence. We were almost touching. Fuck, this was intense!

"Yes it is, Jasper, but the view doesn't hold a candle to you." He growled lowly. Edward's lips nuzzled my neck and one arm snaked around my waist pulling me against his aroused body. He widened his stance slightly and took the glass from my hand setting it down on a nearby table. Edward wrapped his other arm around me stroking my abdomen, toying with the buttons of my shirt.

"Jasper, oh God you don't know how amazing it is to hold you like this again." Fingers dug into my belly stroking, his hips swiveled enticingly rocking against my ass causing me to groan lustfully. His grip tightened; his breathing grew harsher as he placed wet kisses on my neck.

Edward aggressively turned me in his arms until we were facing each other; the look on his beautiful face, eyes boring into me, studying memorizing, moist lips swollen leaving me weak; his urgent sexual need evident. He pressed me back against the glass panting breathlessly, pushing his body against mine as if he couldn't get close enough.

Edward pulled my arms up over my head effectively trapping me against the glass wall. He devoured me with his mouth, our tongues lapping wetly against the other's leaving me a whimpering mess hungry for more. I instinctively thrust against him grunting unable to hold back my desire any longer struggling to free myself from his iron grip.

Edward released me continuing to pepper my face and neck with kisses pushing, grinding his cock against my jeans, squeezing my ass almost to the point of pain. My fingers like magnets shakily sought to touch him everywhere. With trembling hands I traced the edge of his tight grey silk t-shirt, the one he looked so sexy in, feeling his warm skin as I revealed his taut belly, lightly dusted by fine reddish brown hair. I slid down against the glass my knees falling to either side of his feet and grasped his hips brushing my lips against his quivering abdomen.

"Fuck!" he moaned tangling his hands in my hair thrusting against my face. I couldn't contain myself any longer and pressed my mouth against his steel hard erection still hidden behind the fabric of his slacks, nuzzling into him, completely delirious with want. I breathed his scent in deeply, his soft whimpers completely undoing me.

"Edward, oh baby, I want you so much." I gasped reaching for his belt. He brushed my hand away surprising me.

Edward sank down on shaky legs taking my face in his hands regarding me with furrowed brow silently asking, no pleading with his eyes for me not to hurt him. He was suddenly tentative, almost shy. He paused for a moment, leaning back on his haunches pushing hair off his face leaving it to fall in wild disarray. His eyes closed and a deep sigh escaped.

Our passion cooled as rational thought once again took hold.

He grabbed hold of my hand lacing our fingers together.

"Jasper, sit with me." Edward rose, pulling me up and we walked over to the sofa. He plopped himself down tugging me with him. He toed off his shoes and pulled his socks off neatly rolling them inside of his shoes. I slipped out of my loafers as well.

"I just want to stroke your face, your hair. Your beauty overwhelms me." He raked his eyes over me then closed them seemingly in pain while he trailed his fingers over my face, my neck my chest as would a blind man reading Braille.

"I don't think I could survive if I lose you again, Jazz, I hope you mean what you said tonight about being sure." My breath caught at his obvious pain. I did this to him. Guilt consumed me. I dropped my head to my hands slouching away from him. I didn't deserve his affection, his sweet touch.

"I crave you like a starving man. Your kisses fill me, make me whole." He continued. He tilted his head until it lay against the back of the sofa and opened his eyes once again. "I adore you." His breath hitched as he reached out to stroke my cheek. "From the first second I saw you, I've been lost; stumbling along praying you would find it within yourself to feel something for me." Moisture gleamed from his eyes as he blinked back tears.

It was past time for me to allay his fears. I couldn't hurt my beautiful man, my Sethie anymore. I was his committed to being everything I could be for Edward so he would be the happiest man alive and I would show him how deeply I cared. He deserved it; hell I deserved it!

I leaned forward on my knees and pulled Edward to my chest running my fingers repeatedly through his soft silky hair kissing the top of his head. I held him close feeling a shudder run through his quivering body, releasing emotions he'd been holding back. He wound his arms around my back clinging to me until I realized he was crying quietly.

"My sweet baby, God, I am so sorry for hurting you." I cried out, my voice shaking with emotion. "I should have stood strong and been supportive when you came out to your family but I was so consumed with fear of repeating the disastrous relationship with Peter that I left you totally on your own. Please forgive me, let me earn your trust back." Edward looked up at me sadly wiping his eyes and pulled out of my embrace clearly caught up in a memory.

"My mom hasn't talked to me since the night I told Tanya I was gay." His soft voice drifted off preoccupied with his thoughts. "No contact whatsoever. I can't believe she turned away from me so completely." I ached for him.

"No more Saturday dinners, that's Tanya's place now, even Emmett and Rosalie are welcome but not me." His wistful tone pained me. "I have a new Saturday dinner tradition; I go to a diner instead. The food and company are great. Maybe you can join me some time?" I nodded.

"Edward, let me be there to help you. Let me show you how completely I'll care and focus on your needs. I'm yours body and soul. I want to be the only one." I held my hand out to him begging for his acceptance.

He looked over at me then and we gravitated back into each other's arms. I kissed his lips, nose, eyelids that fluttered closed catching him smiling once again. Edward sighed against my chest melting into me.

"I'm sure Esme is just feeling a bit confused." I comforted him. "It doesn't help that Tanya is a constant reminder. We'll be patient. She'll come around."

"You are so, so amazing. I want to hold you baby, all night long as we make love, treasuring each other. The thought of us being apart causes me pain. I was a fool to think I could survive without you."

I rocked him murmuring assurances. "I'll never leave you to suffer through tough times alone again, sweetness, I promise." This handsome creature, so strong and assured, so vibrant most of the time needed a place to vent, a partner to soothe him so he could metaphorically let his hair down, someone he could trust implicitly. I wanted to be that man for him always.

Edward was still clad in his club clothes and couldn't possibly be comfortable. At least I was in loose fitting jeans and a soft chambray button down. When Jacob called I was fresh out of the shower but at his words I clambered into the first passably clean pair of pants I saw forgoing underwear.

I hummed against his hair, idly tangling my fingers in his locks completely happy to spend the rest of my days as we were right now. I was full of the heady scent of him, my senses dulled by the heat of his body.

"I have to confess to you Edward." I spoke softly, huskily. "Tonight after Jacob called me I was crazy jealous. I probably broke every traffic law getting my ass to Seth's afraid I had lost my chance with you. Then seeing Sammy draped all over you kissing and grinding into your ass touching your cock made me insane. "_Mine_" was all I could think of."

I drifted recalling Jake's words.

"_Jasper, it looks like Eddie boy has moved on." I could hear the loud music pulsing in the background. "He's getting his freak on with some hot guy on the dance floor. He looks pretty wasted but the dude is definitely into it. It seems that he's off the market if you know what I mean." Oh hell no! I raced around my bedroom dressing in whatever was available slipping on loafers. Once I arrived at Seth's my heart about gave out when I spotted Edward on the dance floor writhing together as Sammy squeezed his cock and worst of all they were kissing, exuding so much sex appeal that the two of them became the focal point of the club. _

_I was ready to rip him off the dance floor when I watched Edward pull away and stumble unsteadily towards the bar. My boy was fucked up. Jacob didn't help matters. His hostility towards Edward had not abated causing me to wonder why he bothered to call me knowing how much it would hurt me to see Edward getting on with his life not wanting me any longer. I chose not to dwell on Jake's motivations focusing on Edward instead._

_He brushed me away angrily when I touched his arm under the assumption Jake and I were in a relationship; I cringed at the thought. The pain in his eyes was palpable as he shrugged away from me moving across the VIP area before slumping into a couch. I was not going to let him get away misunderstanding my feelings so I went to him._

I hissed when Edward licked and nipped at me along my collarbone bringing me back to the present as he spread my shirt open.

"You were crazy jealous of little old Sammy." He snorted against my chest but continued inflaming me with his tortuous mouth.

"Edward, if I hadn't come to the club tonight, would you have slept with Sammy?" I cursed myself for asking a question I didn't want him to answer.

"I was experimenting Jasper." He whined looking for understanding but not apologizing. "As far as I knew, you were no longer into me so what was I to do, live like a hermit? This was my first foray to the club scene as a gay man, feeling bold for once sick of all the bullshit hiding I put myself through. It was freeing Jasper, I was never going further with Sammy he's just a fun guy. I only want to be with you, only you. I actually thought of calling and asking if you wanted to join me but couldn't bear the rejection" He curled his arm around my neck kissing me deeply. I pulled away from his kiss.

"I get it, Edward. I'm proud of you in a way as jealous as I was and am actually. It took guts to put your self out there but frankly my dear, from this moment on you are mine." I rolled over on top of him feeling every bit of his desire.

We kissed for what seemed like hours before he pulled away regarding me, a serious expression coloring his features.

"Jasper, I want to be your boyfriend." Edward blurted suddenly. I couldn't help but be touched by his vulnerability.

Seconds ticked by as I pondered his request. Honestly, I really didn't have to think about it at all, I knew what I wanted.

"Edward, will you be my boyfriend? Will you be my Sethie again?" I looked at him through lowered eyes giving him my most seductive look.

He licked his lips clearly aroused by my words. "I love it when you call me Sethie." Edward purred. "I never could resist your beautiful blue eyes; your hair makes me crazy Jasper and your scrumptious body...that's not why I want to be with you though it's your generous, beautiful soul, your giving spirit. Yes, I'll be your boyfriend." Edward mouth once again found mine as he resumed fiddling with the buttons of my shirt finally popping the last of them open slowly holding my gaze. Jesus, I was hard again.

Edward pulled my shirt off exposing my bare chest to his delicious ministrations. His movements were aggressive letting his hands explore my body as his mouth sought out a nipple suckling and nipping me until I was gasping with pleasure begging for more. For a guy with limited experience as a gay man he was fucking talented!

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"Edward, you can't possibly be comfortable in those clothes" I sighed sitting up after another marathon kissing and groping session. Plus the sofa, as cozy as it was, couldn't adequately contain our writhing bodies. We came close to tumbling off at one point.

"Let's go upstairs." He whispered huskily. "I want to get out of these clothes." Taking me by the hand Edward led me to his bedroom. His ass flexed as he walked before me up the stairs teasing me unmercifully trying my patience. I wanted those pants off stat.

Like the rest of his house his bedroom was spectacular, dominated by a huge platform bed. One wall of the room was entirely of glass continuing the downstairs theme, the harbor view awe-inspiring. I wondered aloud what it was like to watch the sunrise from Edward's bed. Two strong arms wrapped around me.

"If you stay the night, you'll see. Please stay with me Jasper." Edward pleaded. He was shirtless now his chest pressing into my back.

He popped the top button of my jeans. "Take these off, Jasper." He commanded then walked away. Wide eyed, I exulted in Edward's newly found confidence, _"Who are you and what have you done with my boyfriend?"_ His belt buckle clinked as it dropped to the ground. Turning I watched him slip his trousers off folding them neatly. I did not miss the prominent bulge barely contained by his black briefs signaling his readiness.

There was nothing I wanted more than to pull those briefs down his muscular legs and take his throbbing cock down my throat; saliva pooled in my mouth in anticipation. His disheveled hair, pouty lips drew me in. Needing to be closer, I walked towards him to where he stood by the wardrobe after setting the trousers down.

"Edward, I can't keep my hands off of you I need to touch you everywhere." I was panting unable to contain the ache consuming me. My hands trailed down his muscular biceps around to his firm ass back up his taut abdomen as we kissed with increasing abandon tongues fighting for dominance. Over and over I memorized the feel of his soft skin over hard muscle. I pinched his nipples eliciting gasps of pleasure from his lips. More, I needed more.

"Take those damn jeans off." He whined, and slowed our ardor to pop my fly open and push my jeans down. His hands lingered on my now naked ass caressing the cheeks. His fingers traced along the space between and he hummed with pleasure.

"Commando; me likee." Edward smirked teasing my balls rolling them in his fingers stroking me lightly driving me wild as I stepped out of the jeans pooled at my feet completely naked for him. Unable to contain our desire any longer we grabbed at each other kissing fiercely grinding and moaning while Edward urged me to the edge of his gigantic bed.

I hooked my fingers in the sides of Edward's straining briefs and ripped them from his body. His glorious cock sprang free, thumping against his abdomen as he stood by the bed. I dropped to my knees hungering for a taste of him as Edward tugged on my hair almost to the point of pain, urging me on.

"Unhh, Jasper more baby." Edward instinctively thrust a little too hard almost causing me to gag but I didn't give a shit. I wanted to give him whatever he wanted. I looked up noting that Edward was watching me full of lust, unthinking indulging in utmost pleasure. His eyes rolled back as he arched against me thrusting again and again with consuming passion, mouth agape grunts escaping his parted lips. My tongue swirled and I sucked and swallowed and hummed against him until his legs began to shake.

The grip he had on my hair was painful as he held me in place. His jerky thrusts and trembling limbs signaled he was close. I looked up capturing my lover's eyes as he came undone. His head rolled back and he cried out his release.

"Unhh, unhh, unhh, Jazz, fuck, I'm coming" He spurted streams of come from his pulsing cock. I swallowed it down then licked him clean placing one last kiss on the head. Edward leant over me sliding his hands down my back and I held him up to keep him from collapsing onto me, as he continued to attempt to regulate his breathing.

"Sit back on the bed, baby." I pushed Edward upright and he flopped down on the bed then lay down, completely relaxed, splaying his legs out. I crawled up his body pressing myself against every inch of him; I still hard as a rock. He was sated but he continued whimpering his pleasure, a smile on his beautiful face. He wrapped his legs around my waist and his arms around my shoulders moving his hands slowly up and down caressing my back.

"Fuck me, Jasper; I want to make you feel good." He arched lazily against my cock. Christ! I wanted to bury myself so deep inside him I would never find my way back.

Was he ready for me? I was determined never to cause him pain and despite his eagerness to be fucked I doubted he fully understood what was entailed.

"So my sweet Sethie, are you sure you're ready for anal sex?" I rolled to my side propping my head up with one hand drawing circles on his belly with the other. He gazed at me through half-closed eyes a look of complete satisfaction graced his handsome face.

"I want to do everything with you Jasper, teach me." Edward placed his hand on my own and urged it down between his spread legs to his entrance. "I want you here." My leaking cock throbbed at his most erotic request. Circling my index finger slowly over his tight hole we kissed languorously.

A moment of doubt crept in. Had he been with anyone in the time we were apart?

"Baby, you haven't done this before have you?" He lifted his head off the bed at my question, surprised and seemingly irritated. Did I just ruin the moment?

"I'm a fucking virgin for you, Jasper no one can or will ever touch me like you do." He growled. "I could barely get it up for Tanya and she was the only one beside you, baby."

"God I really didn't mean like it sounded, I'll shut up now." What an idiot I am. I lay back on his comfy bed holding his hand to my chest. Edward pulled his hand away. He pushed my thighs apart and began stroking my now limp cock. God that felt so good.

"I watched a little porn." He confessed leaning over me flicking his tongue out suckling on my nipple. I mumbled incoherently trying to get a visual picture of Edward. "I really, really liked it, Jasper." He was touching himself as he pumped my cock with increasingly strong sure movements, his head against my chest.

"You realize what you're doing to me Sethie. I am so fucking hard for you, baby. I want to give you what you want but let's go slow."

"I experimented with a dildo." Edward murmured.

Time stopped.

I was beyond shocked (and seriously pleased) at my boy's adventurousness.

I sat up crossing my legs Indian style, my prominent member jutting out. He sat back in a similar position grinning at my eagerness.

"Show me baby, I want to see." I begged. He glanced towards the night stand where I spied a leather box. I arched a brow at him in question and he nodded. I scrambled to retrieve the box and placed it between us treasuring it as if it was the Holy Grail. Our eyes met. I reached out and caressed his cheek as he leaned in to my touch sighing, closing his eyes. I was overcome with emotion.

"You're it for me Edward. There will never be anyone who touches my soul the way you do." He kissed my palm.

"Jasper, you're the only man I've ever wanted. There will never be anyone else. I'm committed to being with you every day of forever." Edward's eyes reflected his love, no more words were necessary. He was my life now.

Edward hopped off the bed and disappeared into the bathroom returning momentarily with a stack of fluffy white towels and a small bowl containing a wet washcloth which he placed on the nightstand. Such a boy scout, I thought to myself, pleased at his thoughtfulness.

I helped Edward spread two large towels across the bed reserving one. We both clambered up placing ourselves again facing each other kneeling, the treasure box between us.

"I want to watch you fuck yourself Edward but first, come here." My hard cock met his as we aligned our bodies and kissed. We grew more heated anticipating what was to come.

"Lay back, baby." I was going to make him feel so good. "Can I open the box?"

'Um yeah," he croaked "There's lube and condoms in there as well." Edward reclined against the pillows completely open to me and what a sight it was. I opened the leather box to reveal a flesh colored dildo, battery operated at that. _No sparkle peen for my boy_, I chuckled at my stupid thought. I turned the switch on and the dildo throbbed to life. The possibilities were endless. I turned it back off and set it aside.

I took in the sight of my sweet baby, my darling Edward, legs splayed watching me with lustful eyes. I grabbed the lube and spread some on my hand taking his hard cock and pumping him as he cried in pleasure.

"More, Jasper." He pleaded.

"I'm going to suck you and finger fuck you a little to prep you." His lovely hard cock twitched at my words. I drizzled more lube on my fingers and leaned over him kissing his succulent mouth before trailing kisses down his chest and stomach. Rather than taking him in my mouth instead, I slowly circled his entrance with two fingers coating him thoroughly. I could feel him clench against my fingers anticipating entry.

Edward's legs twitched as I pressed a little against his tight hole. I added more lube then pushed one finger in eliciting a loud groan. Thrusting slowly, I tried stretching him as I added a second finger scissoring and pushing in deeper, more forcefully more rhythmically. Edward's hips rose off the bed and he fisted his cock working to pleasure himself. I poured a bit of lube in his hand to help with the friction as he masturbated. I continued pumping my fingers curling them in search of his prostate as Edward writhed and whimpered begging for more. I sank down and kissed his mouth as I continued to work him to frenzy fucking him with my fingers. I stopped sensing he was close to orgasm causing him to whimper as I pulled out.

"Fuck, you are so beautiful lying open before me, Sethie. Can you show me what you do with the dildo?" I panted, almost frantic with need. By now all I could focus on was his rosy entrance imaging my cock enveloped in his warmth so much so that I kept pressing up against his thigh my cock weeping from the slit. I handed him the Dildo and sat back on my haunches to watch. I touched my cock in anticipation.

"Jasper, I need the lube" he said breathlessly I was dazzled by the utter arousal flowing from him as he considered the Dildo smearing it liberally. Edward sat up on his knees and spread his thighs apart switching it on. The low vibration filled the room as Edward placed it between his legs arching forward and lowered himself down slowly allowing it to penetrate as his face filled with ecstasy. I was transfixed watching him move his body up and plunging back down on the vibrating dildo faster and faster moaning with pleasure. His cock bobbed thumping against his abdomen thick with veins pulsing as he moved his body up and down.

He was ready for me.

"Edward, I want you, I want my cock deep in you now." He was so lost in his aroused state he barely noticed me move to press myself against him. I kissed his swollen mouth and took the dildo in hand plunging it in and out pushing his upper body down and moving behind him, pumping it a few more times before pulling it out slowly. I bent down and swirled my tongue at his entrance kissing up his spine pressing my cock between his cheeks. My need for him was urgent now.

I searched around for the box flipping it open and grabbed a strip of condoms. I ripped one off and opened the foil packet rolling the condom on with shaky hands. I applied more lube stroking my sensitive cock fearing I was going to explode before I could bring him to orgasm.

"Now Jasper." Edward pleaded pushing against me and arching his back. I teased his entrance with the head but he leaned back forcefully demanding I fuck him. Knowing he was well primed I plunged my full length deep into his tight warmth until my hips rested against his ass. I pulled almost all the way out and thrust in violently I could no longer hold back the need to thrust again and again as deep as I could gripping his hips to keep some control. He grunted and cried out with each thrust begging me for more. I leaned over biting into his shoulder as I fought the urge to explode. Edward turned his head and our tongues stroked each other as I slowed for a moment before picking up the pace once again.

I straightened up behind him making my thrusts quicker as I slammed against his ass over and over. The fire in my belly was building I was no longer able to hold back. Edward stroked his swollen cock continuing to make those lovely grunts and cries as I fucked him senseless. He clenched around me and with a loud cry released his seed in long spurts onto the towel. I gave myself over to my orgasm with a loud cry as I stilled, pulsing into my lover. I collapsed against his back breathing heavily willing myself to calm. We rolled over to the side with me still deep inside unable to release him just yet. I kissed between his shoulder blades grateful. Never have I ever had an orgasm so powerful and fulfilling. Only with my Sethie was that possible.

"Are you okay?"I whispered. Kissing his tousled locks now dampened by sweat.

"You're perfect, Jasper, I've never been better." I grew drowsy completely sated but I had to withdraw and dispose of the condom. I pulled out carefully removing and tying it off. Reaching for the bowl on the nightstand I lovingly cleaned Edward who appeared to have drifted off to sleep snoring lightly.

I pulled the towels off the bed jostling him a bit. He simply rolled over and pulled the covers over his shoulder. Smiling I took the pile of soiled towels and tossed them into the hamper. I washed my face and rinsed my mouth before returning to bed. The bedside clock said 3:15 and it dawned on me that a few short hours ago I was alone at my place lonely and bored and now I was happier than I thought possible. I yawned as I crawled into bed with Edward and snuggled into his back. Never was I more grateful for Saturday. I figured we would both sleep in.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

_**So what did you think, secksi enough for you? **_

_**Also I may have**__**alluded to the fact that there might have been a little somethin' somethin' between Clete and Ed Senior during their law school days. Any interest in an outtake? I'm planning humorous and fluffy. **_


	20. Chapter 20

_**Thanks for your reviews. I enjoy reading each of them and have incorporated a few of your suggestions.**_

_**I own nothing of Twighlight only the story idea is mine.**_

**Blind Faith**

**Chapter 20**

**Edward**

**.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.**

In my dreams I was making love to Jasper, slow but steady, lazy, languid thrusts removing any aspect of rational thought. We lay side by side, I held him to me, listening to his soft grunts each time my hips smacked up against his ass. The slow burn in my groin spread until I surrendered to my release…

…Something sticky and cold caused my eyes to flutter open waking from one of the most restful sleeps I'd had lately. I untangled my legs from Jaspers intending to retrieve a towel from the bathroom when it became apparent to me that I'd come all over his back. A hand reached out and grabbed my wrist stopping me.

"Where are you going darlin'?" Jasper croaked, his voice full of sleep.

"I just want to clean you up. It looks like I dry humped you in my dreams."

"Kiss me first. I'll miss you while you're gone." Jasper tugged at my arm until I leaned over his sleepy form and kissed him passionately. With one last peck to his lips I made my way to the bathroom to clean the mess from my chest and belly. Feeling better, I returned to our bed finding Jasper sitting up watching me return.

"God, you are so fucking beautiful Edward. I love staring at your naked body." He spoke lowly, seductively. I smirked at him feeling completely desired, ensnared by his gaze. I crawled into bed behind him so I could wash the mess off his back. His words turned me on.

I leaned in to him pressing my arousal into his lower back moving, swiveling my hips to increase the pleasurable sensations from rubbing up against his body. My mouth found his neck, his soft sounds letting me know he liked the feeling when I bit him lightly.

"I want to eat you Jasper." I whispered into his neck, biting and nipping, sucking at the skin of his shoulders moving against him aggressively tasting him with my tongue. I wanted him the way he'd claimed me last night but in the early morning light so I could see every last bit of him as we made love. My arms wrapped around Jasper's lean taut body reaching for his cock with one hand squeezing and pulling it to hardness; caressing the silky skin of his front trailing up his chest with the other. He gave a sharp yelp and moaned.

"Do you like it when I pinch your nipples like that? Tell me what you like, baby." He turned to face me placing his hands on my shoulders.

"I love everything about the way you touch me Edward. I love the way your eyes glitter when you're turned on and the way you smile at me, as if I were a prize that you've won." Jasper continued to whisper sexy words to me until I claimed his mouth plunging my tongue deep to seek out his. I wanted to plunge something else into him very badly.

"I want you to let me put my cock inside you." My breathing became increasingly ragged as I obsessed over fucking Jasper, squeezing his ass, running my fingers down his crack to his puckered entrance. He arched his back in reaction to my touch, breathless.

"Face to face." He kissed my neck and dragged his hands down my back pressing his cock up against my hardness.

"Oh yeah." I was beginning to lose myself to my lust giving up all control. I only saw Jasper; nothing else existed but his eyes, moist swollen lips, wavy, too long golden locks, his hard cock and magnificent ass. Jasper lay down on the bed displaying his gorgeous body, spreading his legs open inviting me in. I watched mesmerized Jasper stroking, fondling himself. I handed him the lube without taking my eyes off of his body drinking the sight in. When Jasper slid a finger in his ass, my eyes rolled back, I almost came at the sight.

"Where's that dildo?" Panting, I searched around for the leather box retrieving my little friend. It wasn't large just perfect for prepping my boy.

We played with the dildo for a while the entire time my anticipation building, straining for release.

I could wait no longer.

"Edward, I'm ready." Jasper broke the silence and propped himself up pulling me in for a searing kiss. At the same time he retrieved a condom from the box skillfully ripping it from the packaging and slid it on my rigid member with a few pumps. He coated me with a generous amount of lube wiping his hands off between his legs then reclined back on the pillows sighing raggedly. Holding his gaze I pushed his thighs apart and lay my body down against his cradling his spread legs in my arms as I continued to kiss him for a while longer touching every inch of his skin. My cock rested tentatively at his entrance.

I was hesitating realizing this was going to be my very first time really fucking someone. I was hard as a rock.

With Tanya, I could barely sustain an erection and rarely was either of us satisfied. With Jasper everything was different, alive.

"Please baby, I need you inside me." Jasper pleaded. My breathing accelerated, the ache in my cock extreme. I pushed against his entrance moving slowly reveling in every sensation assaulting me building my excitement as I inched into Jasper until my hips hit his ass. I saw a flash of my early morning dream continuing to rock gently in and out as I sorted through what I was supposed to do. Jaspers grunts and huffs urged me on. I thrust into him a little more aggressively. Fuck! That felt amazing. Instinct took over; I gave into sensation and Jaspers intense reaction to my movements.

I wanted to watch him come.

Jasper's legs twitched each time I thrust against him making for an incredibly erotic sight. I held his legs in the crook of my arms but released one so I could take his throbbing cock in hand. I popped the lube bottle spreading some directly on his cock as I stroked and squeezed him to climax. His cries and moans, the look on his beautiful face following his release intensified my ardor and with a few short thrusts I was gone, pumping into him until I fell against him utterly spent.

"Wow." My inability to speak after sex with Jasper reflected how profound the experience was for me.

We were both wide-awake, staring at each other in wonder. I reached out caressing Jaspers face. He leaned into my touch placing his hand on mine.

"Is this real? Are we real?" A thrill of fear passed through me, I was thinking the same thing. Could we sustain this thing between us into a real relationship?

I answered with as much assurance as I could muster:

"I'm yours completely, Jasper. I want to build something with you." There, I'd said it.

"I want that E, so much." I'd never seen Jasper so emotional. That was my bailiwick; he was the calm, laid back guy, I was usually the emotional basket case. I squeezed my arms around him in the tightest hug I could manage.

"We have a lot of work to do baby, I'm in for the long haul." I stroked his long wild locks, which reminded of something.

"I need to get a haircut today and looks like you could use one too."

"Well that was random." Jasper chuckled uncertainly trying to understand my thinking. "I like my hair." I tugged on his locks to get his attention.

"I love your hair too Jasper, but we my dear, are shortly to engage in combat with Jason Electronics and their minions."

"Our every aspect of us will be called into question, the clarity of our eyes; the cut of our hair, the cleanliness of our nails; our over all appearance must be above reproach and that is why the hair must go. I always cut mine before a big trial to focus on the matters at hand. We shouldn't drink alcohol for the duration of the trial; we do not need the distraction. Regardless, I want us to sleep together." I paused shyly looking for a reaction. "Is that okay with you?"

"Which, the haircut or the sleep together part?"

"Both?" I chuckled at his raised eyebrows.

"Okay." Jasper said simply rolling me over kissing up my chest ending with a light brush of his lips against mine.

"Will you move in here with me? Frankly, I can't stand the thought of being apart from you right now." This was a monumental step for me but I needed him close. Would he think me too clingy, be reminded of Peter?

"Give me some time on that last bit, Edward. I haven't ever lived with anyone before as a couple. I mean that is what we're doing here right, committing to each other? Jasper was propped up on one elbow awaiting my response with a concerned look on his face. I took a deep breath and dove in.

"You're my boyfriend Jasper so yes I consider us a couple. We've been dancing around our feelings for weeks, actually months, in my case. I can't tell you how happy I am right now to be lying next to you having this talk. After last night and this morning it's impossible for me to imagine us apart. I consider you my soul mate.

Now that I'm am living openly as a gay man I feel as though a weight has been lifted from my soul, I'm anxious to move ahead with my life hopefully with you. I was almost resigned to the fact that we would never be together but with how things are looking now in the bright light of morning to be honest, eventually I'm hoping to call you my partner. I want to live with you but if you're not ready I can wait."

I rushed the last part out fearful now that I seemed too clingy and possessive, that I might scare him off. I looked deeply into his troubled eyes. What was he thinking? If only I could read what was on his mind!

"I'm not Peter," I whispered cupping my hands to his face desperately gazing into his haunted eyes. "Don't let him win again."

Jasper pulled my hands gently away from his face; he pressed his lips to the palm of each hand placing our joined hands on his lap lowering his eyes, appraising them. He seemed overwhelmed, I hoped to God I hadn't screwed up by honestly voicing my feelings.

"Do you mind if I shower? Then we can continue our talk." He couldn't look at me, I was devastated but determined not to let it show. Maybe he just needed room to digest what I'd asked of him I hoped optimistically. But I feared the worst. The vibe I got seemed like a replay of the first night we spent together weeks and weeks ago when he pulled away. I don't think I could survive if it happened again. I'm in turmoil.

"Uh, sure." My voice cracks slightly; I hurry out of bed so he can't see me break down. "Use this one, I'll shower down the hall." I busily move about the room putting random things away resisting the urge to sniffle. It occurred to me that Jasper hadn't said a word. I hazarded a glance to the bed where he remained stoic, unmoving, his head bowed. He needed something clean to wear so I gathered boxers a t-shirt and jeans from my closet silently placing them at the bottom of the bed. "Towels are in the bathroom." He nodded slightly. I had to get out of the room before I lost it, so I grabbed my stuff and left without a word shutting the door behind me with a soft click.

The spare room was nearly as large as my own so it was no sacrifice to use the large bathroom within, which was almost as nice. I quickly got the shower going and spied myself in the mirror. I looked destroyed.

The shower pelted me as I let it run for a while standing still beneath the onslaught of warm water. Salty tears, mixed with water drops, descended down my crushed face. I had spoken too soon I feared. I was no better than "Seth" this morning, pushy and demanding I thought disgustedly, recalling the night I practically assaulted Jasper in my mad desire for him. I banged my fist against the tiled wall one, two, three times in frustration.

_Please_, I begged whatever deity might hear my plea. _I need him_. I sobbed raggedly. I found the needed release cleansing. It was too much to hold back my emotion. Clearing my thoughts as best I could I made a quick job of the rest of my bath routine.

I dressed without much thought trying to keep my deepest fears at bay. Too much time alone in my head was not a good thing. I buttoned my black shirt and rolled the sleeves. It was one of my favorites, loose and comfortable leaving it not tucked over soft faded jeans. I examined my face noting my eyes were red rimmed but I could put that off to too much alcohol the previous evening. I combed my hair back, brushed my teeth and decided to forego shaving.

The bathroom was warm and steamy: I noted the difference in the atmosphere when I stepped barefoot into the cool bedroom. I stood for a moment regarding the room absently. If I could just stand here forever I would never have to hear Jasper turn me down and leave me alone again. But then, I could be wrong, seeing as I generally over thought everything and I was often wrong. With all the confidence I could gather, I steeled myself and walked out towards my future.

I peeked into my bedroom finding it unoccupied so I proceeded down the stairs determined not to go hunting Jasper down. I stopped with a few treads to go. Did he leave? No matter what, I was going to move forward in my life, with or without him by my side. I would be much sadder and terribly lonely but for once I had laid it all out there; _what I wanted, what I needed_ not some set of behaviors shaped or colored to suit another's needs and for that alone I was thankful. I would remain true to myself.

_Please let him want me; let him overcome his fears._ I squeezed my eyes tightly shut, fisting my hands wishing like a child would for my dream to come true. I huffed a big cleansing breath and stepped down the remaining stairs towards the kitchen.

The kitchen is my favorite part of the house. Alice did an amazing job designing it along with the terrace outdoor cooking area and outdoor living space to suit my needs. I tended to spend most of my time either in here or out on the terrace.

Still, Jasper was not in evidence.

I put on a pot of coffee to brew. I flicked on the radio turning the volume low just wanting to break the heavy silence.

I stood at the kitchen window admiring the harbor view while the coffee percolated. It was still fairly early; I watched as a few sailboats drifted by thinking how nice it would be to buy a boat and sail on it with Jasper. Sad thought or foolish dream? Maybe.

Just then I heard a light cough from around the side of the terrace where the outdoor living area was situated.

_He's still here!_ My heart just about jumped from my chest.

I looked around nervously for a tray. There was one in the lower cupboard. On it I placed cups, a creamer I'd filled with milk, a bowl of sugar and some spoons. Finally, I picked up the carafe of freshly brewed coffee and went out on the terrace.

I walked slowly across the terrace towards the outdoor living space gripping the tray tightly.

The sight that greeted me took my breath away.

Jasper…

I spotted a lanky figure reclined on one of the chaise lounges, one jean covered leg stretched out on the chair, one bent leg leaning outward, bare foot resting on the terrace floor. He had one hand buried in his golden curls while the other hand scratched idly at his exposed bare stomach revealed by his unbuttoned shirt. He kept his own on from last night rather than wear the one I offered. The thought saddened me. His skin shimmered in the early morning sun. He is facing away so I couldn't tell if he was awake.

Jasper is a vision of such intense beauty, all tan and blonde that I want to cry out, throw the tray to the ground and crawl on top of him begging him to stay with me. Instead, with shaking hands, I set the tray down on the low table between us. He turned his head toward me at the noise. He'd been crying.

Oh no…

"What took you so long darlin'? I missed you." Jasper's drawl was more pronounced than normal. He held out his hand to me as he sat up then patted the spot next to him. "Come here, you're so far away." My legs were heavy as I trudged over sinking down on the chaise next to Jasper like a convict awaiting his sentencing, folding my hands together.

_Please…._

"You made coffee, thanks Edward." He leaned in and kissed my cheek platonically, I thought. "Mind if I help myself?"

"Not at all." I managed to squeak out. _How manly…I'm such a tower of strength. Yeah, right!_

I watched Jasper pour himself a cup adding milk and sugar, as he liked.

I memorized his every move.

Jasper sipped from his cup smiling at me over the edge.

_Please…_

"Edward, can we continue our talk?"

"S-Sure, anything you want, Jasper." Why was he grinning at me like that?

"Aren't you going to have coffee?" Was he teasing me?

"Uh, maybe later. I'm more interested in hearing what you have to say." My life depends on it.

Jasper sat his cup down, paused as if contemplating something and then nodded.

"If I'm sure of one thing Edward, it's how I feel about you_." Good, so far_.

He took a deep breath, gulped and leaned his head on my shoulder wrapping both arms around me and began to cry. I couldn't take it anymore.

"Oh, God, Jasper you're going to leave me!" I cried, realizing that I might not be able to go on without him. I pulled away from his embrace.

"No, no, NO! I most definitely am NOT leaving you Edward." He said through his tears gathering himself together. "Sorry for losing my shit, it's just…" _What! What!_

"I've known for weeks it was only going to be you for me but I couldn't let go of my fear. Seeing you last night in the arms of another man brought me clarity. Last night and this morning spent in your embrace confirmed one thing for me that I really already knew." He hung his head

"I love you so fucking much, Edward." Jasper whispered then put his head in his hands crying quietly.

"I already told my family. Jacob knows. Only you were in the dark. I think even your father knows thanks to my Dad."

_I believe I was developing a fondness for Clete._

"Really, Jasper? You love me?" I was never so happy in my life to be wrong. "Can I hug you?"

Weirdly, I heard a tune run through my head that I'd never appreciated before, the Beatles, "Maybe I'm Amazed." He loves me…I am really, really happy, giddy, in fact.

"Yes, I want to you to hug me, E." I threw myself at Jasper trying to hold him everywhere at once, just scrambling all over his body. I kissed him soundly unable to control the happy grin on my face. I lowered my eyes at him.

"I hope you know I feel the same Jasper, I have loved you forever. I was born loving you, just waiting for you to make your appearance. And here you are." _I thanked the deity above just in case they had anything to do with this miraculous outcome._

"I'm so sorry to have left you in suspense, I'm sure you took a negative spin and I should have known better. You over think everything." He smiled against my neck.

We lay together on the chaise, our limbs entwined. "Can we just stay like this forever?" I said between chaste kisses. _So this is love. Damn, it felt good!_

"I'm actually kind of hungry, as much as I'd like to lay here forever, I am not the undead."

"Funny, Jasper. Let me feed you." I rolled off of him and wandered back into the kitchen. I inspected the fridge pulling out eggs and bacon. Dare I attempt an omelet or should I go simple?

"I love scrambled eggs with cheese." My boy said as he leaned into me. Decision made.

"Jazz, can you get the OJ out? Glasses are above your head."

I did a quick scramble grating in some Swiss cheese at Jasper's request (anything for my boy).

Jasper toasted some English muffins and we quickly had breakfast ready to serve. We decided to eat at the kitchen table. I found some blackberry preserves and set them out.

We ate quickly; I realized I hadn't eaten much lately as well. Satisfied I sat back meeting Jaspers eyes.

"Edward, I still haven't answered the question you asked."

"Which is that?" I asked puzzled. Then with a thunder I remembered.

"Yes, I want to live with you Edward and one day, I hope to be your partner."

I was about to round the table and take him in my arms when my phone buzzed. It was on the kitchen counter behind Jasper. He picked it up.

Jasper looked at my buzzing cell phone staring wide-eyed at the text, frozen. "Who's Rick and what are you doing with him at your place this Wednesday?" He said stiffly holding the phone up so I could read the message.

Jealous some? I smiled internally.

"Oh, you'll meet him tonight at the diner. We got in the habit of regular Wednesday barbecues where we shot the shit. Saturdays I go to the diner and we talk." I said casually turning back to pile the plates in the sink. I had no secrets to keep from him. "Jasper?" He was oddly quiet. Could he be bothered by my friendship with Rick? Of course he was, I mean, how did I react to stupid Jacob, I hate the guy. I consider him a complete jerk but he is Jasper's friend. I sincerely believe Jasper will really like Rick. I put down the towel I used to dry my hands and walked towards him hugging him from behind.

"Hey, trust me he's a nice guy, friend only, sort of like Jake."

"God, I hope he's not like Jacob. The guy just doesn't take no for an answer so I'm hoping Rick's not like that, I'm kind of the jealous type."

"Okay, I'll give you that one, not like Jake in that sense." I kissed his shoulder. "All better?"

"Yes, much. You know, on the moving in thing, can I gradually move in? I need to keep my space for a while longer but I'll start moving things over. When do you think I should start?"

"How does this afternoon work for you?" Jasper laughed at my enthusiasm.

"Okay, Edward, I'll bring a few things over since I'm staying the night. The other thing is…" Jasper hesitated.

"Anything, Jasper."

"I think I'm going to need my own space in your home. Do you mind if I move into the spare room?"

"You'll still sleep with me?"

"Oh, yes baby don't worry about that."

"It's yours, just like my heart is yours." We kissed, sealing our relationship.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

After the breakfast dishes were done. I reminded Jasper that I had a hair appointment.

"Do you want to come with? I know it sounds strange but it's the little things sometimes that win trials and I have a pretty good track record." I laughed at Jasper as he made a slashing scissor motion at his hair.

"Let's get it done, baby." He kissed my mouth making me want to drag him to the floor but I thought better of it.

"Button your shirt, Jasper. There are a lot of horny men and women at the shop I go to."

"Not to worry, I only have eyes for you Edward." His eyes twinkled mirthfully.

"Oh, I'm not worried about you, it's them I fear." I chuckled at his worried look and tugged him along.

"We need shoes, I'll be right back." I shot up the stairs as if jet fueled; comparing my movements to how I'd earlier descended them.

I quickly located our shoes dancing down the stairs. There he was, my love.

"Here." I handed Jasper his loafers and after putting my shoes on checked for keys and wallet and we were off.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

_**Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Next chapter has some big happenings some of which you may be very surprised by. Review and give me you thoughts!**_


	21. Chapter 21

**HI all, hopefully there is still some interest in my little story. It's been over a month since I posted but it's with good reason….My litany of events (all good) since I last posted:**

**My son turned 20 May 14 (party)**

**My daughter got married May 21. The wedding was perfect, people were fabulous and the weather cooperated!**

**My Dad turned 90 and we had a family brunch May 22.**

**I had my grandson (7 year old barrel of fun) for 2 weeks. Thru June 2.**

**Caught a bad cold.**

**So there you have it! My excuses for not posting as often plus, this chapter was really hard to write!**

**This chapter as I mentioned previously may surprise you. Enjoy!**

**Blind Faith**

**Chapter 21**

_**Jasper**_

"… _You know, on the moving in thing, can I gradually move in? I need to keep my space for a while longer but I'll start moving things over. When do you think I should start?"_

"_How does this afternoon work for you?" Jasper laughed at my enthusiasm._

"_Okay, Edward, I'll bring a few things over since I'm staying the night. The other thing is…" Jasper hesitated._

"_Anything, Jasper."_

"_I think I'm going to need my own space in your home. Do you mind if I move into the spare room?"_

"_You'll still sleep with me?"_

"_Oh, yes baby don't worry about that."_

"_It's yours, just like my heart is yours." We kissed, sealing our relationship._

_.-.-.-.-.-.-.-._

As we drove towards Edward's hair appointment I continued to mentally pull away from his insistence, his need to include me in his way of life on his terms. He had no clue he was doing such, consumed as he was with happiness that we were finally together.

In his eagerness to move forward as a couple he was making all of the calls so far in the very short tenure of our relationship. Somehow we need to change course now or knowing how I react to feeling controlled we would not last for the long haul no matter how much we were pulled towards each other. The question is, how do I broach the subject to Edward without deeply upsetting him?

First of all, I really did not want to cut my hair; that was Edward's thing. For all his issues, Edward was certain about how he wanted to live his life. I, however, was a bundle of unknowns to the point that I frankly was unsure whether I wanted to continue a legal career. We were compatible in so many ways but we would only last if we also appreciated that which makes us each unique.

In a way, you would expect that Edward, newly awakened to his sexuality would be timid but that was not the case. Once he acknowledged he was gay and that the world for the most part still spun on its axis after his revelation he gained a sense of assurance, of rightness that surprised me in its speed.

Lost as I was in my reverie I hadn't paid much attention to Edward for the past few minutes. As we drove, I stared out the window.

"E, where are we?" I asked Edward as the car rolled to a stop and he parked. He eyed me curiously.

"We're almost to Toni's; she's been doing my hair for years." We were parked at an upscale open air mall. He hopped out and rounded to open my door. I took his hand as he guided me out of his car and towards the shop.

Edward walked determinedly holding my hand while extolling the professionalism of the staff. We entered together amidst a loud cooing and clucking; I tugged against his force.

Edward released my hand and was shortly thereafter engulfed in the strong embrace of a rather large woman dressed all in black. Her brilliant red hair was cut short and stuck out in geometric angles. Long sparkly earrings swung wildly from her earlobes as she attacked him, one clog slipping off her foot awkwardly.

This Toni woman was all over Edward hugging him and kissing his cheek but she had her beady black eyes focused on me, appraisingly in a not unfriendly manner.

"I could give you some highlights and emphasize those lovely locks…" she winked at me while clinging to my Edward. I was a little uncomfortable with her obvious affection for him.

"No, I'm good." It was now or never, I had to take a stand.

"Hey um Edward, I'm not interested in cutting my hair. I think I'm going to look around the other shops for a while. I'll be back in a few." I cringed awaiting his response.

"All you had to do was tell me, Jasper, do what you want." He looked at me slightly wounded but not about to counter my desires.

"Be back in a bit, E." I walked towards him as he disentangled himself from Toni's embrace and pulled him in to me sharply. I kissed him lightly and whispered in his ear, "In case anyone was wondering to whom you belong." He snickered as I kissed him once more and gave him a little slap on his ass as he turned towards Toni. With a backward glance, I waved to him as I left the shop. Definitely not my thing…

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

I wandered a bit strolling down the street past the storefronts still focused on my musings on how Edward and I were going to make "us" work. He was so eager and full of optimism, not jaded and cautious as I was. It occurred to me that I was Edward's first real relationship; he had been tied to Tanya for so many years, sleepwalking through his life assuming the inevitability of their marriage followed by children, staying within the tight Cullen family circle. Yet, he was unafraid.

Children… God, that was the only downside of being gay, the inability to procreate with your mate. If we survived, would I want to find a way to have our own children? I dismissed the thought, getting way too far ahead of myself, I mused; I mean we only just became a couple. There was a lot to work through before kids became an issue.

I realized I was hungry and thought I'd look for a place to sit for a while, get a quick bite and get a "to go" bag for Edward. Up ahead I spied a restaurant with a large outdoor area. It seemed popular as most of the outside tables were filled and friendly chatter filled the air. It felt good. I walked in; the hostess greeted me brightly inquiring as to the size of my party. "One" I responded asking to be seated outside.

I followed her sway as she guided me through the restaurant to the outside seating. She placed a menu on a small bistro table just big enough for one or two.

"Your server will be with you shortly" She smiled at me lingeringly…I lowered my eyes to my menu to discourage her continued interest.

Once she left I stretched my legs out and leaned back in my chair checking out the avenue. As luck would have it, I spied a boot shop. Oh yeah, I needed a new pair badly, making a mental note to get over there as soon as I was done with lunch. I smiled to myself as the waiter approached, quite an attractive woman.

"Hi, I'm Charlotte, I'll be your waitress today." Her eyes twinkled with friendliness waiting expectantly. No freakin' way…could this be Charlotte from my Texas days? The woman I remember had long light brown curls. This Charlotte had her hair cut short, pixie style; I almost didn't recognize her. I kept silent wanting to be certain, wondering whether if it was her I should say anything at all recalling the condition we were in and what we did with Peter those long ago evenings.

"Would you like to hear the specials?" I nodded, regarding her closely.

I gave Charlotte my order then asked her to prepare a "to go" plate.

"Is your girl shopping for an outfit to knock your socks off?" She winked at me.

"No, it's for my boyfriend who is probably starving and wondering why I'm taking so long to get back to him." I laughed as I caught Charlotte's grin.

She retreated to place my order and I checked my phone for messages. There was one from Edward: "**Where r u?"**

"**Lunch. My waitress is Charlotte who I think is a woman I knew in Texas."**

"**Old flame?" I could sense the prickliness of his tone in the text.**

"**No…but the real story does require explanation. I'll tell you about it when I see you."**

"**I'm done, just sitting here waiting for u starving!"**

Feeling a little guilty for leaving Edward hanging but needing some alone time, I relaxed after that last text, enjoying the convivial atmosphere. Edward would like this place.

Charlotte returned with my lunch snappily setting it down in front of me. I ate quickly anxious to get to the boot shop and decided there and then I wouldn't bring up our night of debauchery. After all, it was all we had in common…

"Anything else you need Jasper?" It took me a minute to realize I hadn't told her my name. She remembered. I gave an embarrassed laugh.

"No, I'm good. Just waiting for the to go order."

"Let me check to see if it's ready." She sauntered off leaving me squirming. Of all the people I might have run into…I sighed, trying not to dwell on the past.

I watched Charlotte as she approached me. She looked good, healthy. She handed me Edward's lunch taking the opportunity to trace her fingertips against my skin.

"It's good to see you again. I heard about Peter…" I grimaced and she was instantly apologetic.

I stood at that point dropping a few bills on the table along with a hefty tip.

"It's not something I talk about, Charlotte. Well got to run, it was great seeing you again." I stretched and gave her a wave as I departed, not wanting to wait for an invitation to continue our "reunion".

I spent more time than I wanted at the restaurant and felt bad that I had left Edward for so long. I headed back to the salon, rather than the boot shop, with his lunch in hand.

I noticed as soon as I entered that he was peeved at me but trying to hide it. Clearly he had been finished for quite a while and was stewing over my absence.

"I brought you lunch."

"I would have rather gone to lunch _with_ you Jasper, but thanks," he said in a clipped tone digging in the bag, finally smiling when he saw what I had brought for him. His hair was now cut short, preppy style, all business. No matter, he looked like an angel.

He said his goodbyes to Toni and we entered the bright sunshine together.

"Let's find a place to sit so you can eat." I said. Spying an unoccupied bench I grabbed his hand and led him towards it.

"A Reuben, my favorite and potato salad. Okay you're forgiven." I sat down close to Edward and rested my arm behind him teasing his shoulder with my fingers as he ate. I leaned in and kissed his freshly shaved neck because he was looking entirely too adorable.

We talked idly enjoying the nice weather while he polished off his sandwich. He finished, cleared his throat and glanced over at me with a steely gaze, his lawyer look evident.

"So tell me about this Charlotte person…" _Gah_! I really didn't want to get into it right now but I had already pushed a lot of Edward's buttons today; I didn't want to piss him off. I leaned back, cradling my head in my hands and thought about where to start. I cringed at the memories evoked. Peter was involved as well so I decided to edit the more graphic parts. Maybe if I just quickly blurted it out Edward wouldn't ask too many questions.

"I had a three-some with Charlotte and…Peter." _Don't ask any questions_ I silently begged Edward.

"Huh…I didn't expect that." He was studying me, leaning forward resting his forearms on his thighs as I squirmed where I sat, uncomfortable with the conversation.

"So was it just the one time, Jasper?" Edward's curiosity had been piqued.

"No, it was more than once." _Damn_!

"How long did it go on?" The look he gave me was intense.

"Um, a few weeks, it was three times that we all got together. Peter and I had just been seeing each other a few months when he introduced me to Charlotte. I gathered she was some sort of former girlfriend of his."

"Why did it end?"

"It was because of me actually. I had a hard time being with Charlotte after a while. She was very aggressive and…oh, I _really_ don't want to get into details, Edward. Suffice it to say I wasn't into it any more. I experimented and got over it." An image of being tied to a headboard and lashed flashed briefly before my eyes. Ugh!

"I don't need to know the details, Jasper. I've heard enough. Thanks for being honest with me."

"You know this is ancient history, Edward? I got a little wild my last year in law school and it's not something I care to repeat." He pulled me in and kissed me soundly.

"Shh…no worries we won't speak of this again. We have each other now. Although I have to admit to being more than a little turned on." Edward snickered and pecked at my lips shaking the thought off.

"Let's get going."

Edward wrapped up his trash and deposited it in the nearby waste can. I took his hand and led him up the street towards the boot store I had spied earlier.

"Where are we headed?" Edward asked. I didn't answer him right away wanting to see his reaction.

"We're almost there." I responded after a bit seeing his mystified and slightly irritated expression. Edward did not like surprises, it seemed. Everything about him was precise, orderly, planned out; well, with the exception of the night he jumped me. Ah, memories… I need to loosen this cowboy up.

"Come on E, we're going to get us some new boots!" He arched one eyebrow at me and huffed out a breath.

"Cowboy boots, Jasper? I don't do cowboy boots." Edward looked down at his non flashy footwear, comfy loafers he'd worn without socks.

"Aw, please, at least try on a pair." I gave him a pleading look clapping my hands when he nodded his assent. I called the clerk over to assist Edward then wandered off to look around the shop. Boots of every description lined the shelves, the pungent leather smell appealing to my senses.

I glanced over at Edward and the clerk who had reappeared with a number of boxes. The clerk, a young kid probably just out of high school, crouched down in front of Edward and opened the boxes, haphazardly tossing the lids to reveal their contents.

It was funny to watch Edward, out of his comfort zone sliding on white socks in preparation for trying on the boots. I was actually a little surprised that he agreed to try them on.

I wandered around a bit until I found exactly what I was looking for. A beautiful pair of black snakeskin boots with silver toe caps. They would look amazing with my dark gray suit. Edward didn't know it yet but this was _my_ pre-trial preparation.

I got the attention of a saleswoman pointed out the boots that I wanted. I slid off my old beat up boots and sat down across from Edward who was strutting around a tad awkwardly in a set of ostrich skin boots. He was white hot in those things.

"E, you've got to buy those." He looked at me and grinned.

"You like?" His eager delight was so endearing that I wanted to jump him right here in the store.

"Oh yeah, you look great. Pretty soon you'll be talking with a Texas drawl darlin'."

"Y'all think so?" Edward wiggled his eyebrows at me. We laughed enjoying the atmosphere of fun and frivolity that surrounded our little shopping trip.

Edward decided to buy the boots which pleased me immensely. It was as if he was trying on a bit of my world and finding himself liking it.

"Now all I have to do is get you to a country bar." I growled nipping at his neck as he giggled at my comment. Squeezing his waist to pull him towards me, we walked up to the register to purchase our boots. I added a bolo tie for each of us to our pile of goods. I wanted to buy a belt for Edward but decided to come back later. The day was waning and I still needed to go by my place.

This was going to be tricky. I could sense that Edward was getting into a dark mood.

"Edward, let's head back to your home so I can pick up my car. I want to go over to my place and pick up some things, run a few errands."

"First of all, my home is your home Jasper," he sighs exasperated "and since we're already driving why don't I just come with?"

As much as I love Edward, he can be very obtuse. I just want some space; he doesn't seem to understand my need. I love being with him but I like to have alone time as well. I'm starting to feel a little trapped.

"Edward, I don't want to take up all of your day, and I need to take of a few things on my own. Don't get upset with me, okay?" I say when I see his face drop with disappointment.

"I'm doing it again aren't I?" He sighs sadly. "I'm making you feel cornered. I'm not Peter, Jasper, but I think maybe you don't see that and honestly maybe I am moving too fast for us." Edward parked and turned off the car.

"Hey, I don't mean anything bad by it and you're not doing anything wrong, it's my issues that are the problem. We need to work through our stuff so we can have a solid relationship. It's all still so new; we could really fuck things up if we're not careful." Edward cupped my face in his hands and drew me towards him. He placed a kiss on my lips then sat back drawing his fingers down my neck and shoulders taking my hands in his.

"I'm sure of you Jasper but I can see you need more time to decide what you want from our relationship. This is all new especially for me." He laughs sadly. "I don't want you to feel pressured okay? Go do your thing."

"Thanks, E. I'll meet you at the diner tonight, around nine if that's okay…"

"Sure thing, Jasper" He said distractedly, removing packages from the car including the boots I bought.

"Do you want me to take these inside?" He lifts the boots up in question. There's something about the way he asks that I find troubling. He doubts me.

"Yes, please." I walk towards Edward, laden as he is with packages and wrap my arms around his waist. My lips taste the salty skin at the nape of his neck. I breathe him in.

"I'm in love with you Edward, please remember that." He nods, as I kiss his neck. I walk away fumbling in my pockets for my keys wondering whether alone time is worth the pain I caused.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

My place had an abandoned air to it, which left me at a loss. Just last week my home had sparkled with vitality as I'd entertained Rosalie and Emmett along with Alice and Jacob going all out with the cooking.

I truly wasn't ready to give up my condo and move in with Edward, I had barely lived in the place. Somehow I had to get across to him that I wanted to be his boyfriend, his lover exclusively but that I wasn't ready to move in as quickly as he wanted me to. My preference was to build our relationship with patience. I did warn him that I was taking things slowly and I had a need to stake a claim to my own territory.

I decided that I would have a barbecue here sometime the following week with all of our friends. I know throwing Edward and Jacob together would be like pouring gasoline on a fire but they needed to work it out.

I was also bothered by how I held Edward apart from my friends, that wasn't right. I debated over how to bring it up to Edward, his opinion should not control my decisions but the ghosts of my past relationship haunted me. Unconsciously I was seeking his permission.

I whiled away a few hours straightening the place up, packing a bag to take over to Edward's.

My doorbell rang startling me out of my mindless errands. . I grabbed my overnight bag and set it down by the front door as I opened it slightly wondering who could be calling at this time of night. Rather than wait for me to answer the door it was thrown open bouncing violently off the backstop reverberating as it settled; I leaned into the door trying to force it closed scared out of my mind, utterly confused at what was happening. It seemed I was about to be the victim of a home invasion robbery.

Strong arms pushed against the door violently throwing me off balance and I was knocked to the floor. I cried out in alarm, I didn't have time to react before the lights went out. I saw enough though to make out two large men obscured by the darkness but silhouetted in the porch light.

I tried to scramble away but failed as two meaty hands grabbed me roughly. I grunted in discomfort as I was pummeled repeatedly. Something struck me on the back of my head causing blinding pain just before I descended into darkness

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

**Edward**

I arrived at the diner shortly before nine o'clock not surprised I was here before Jasper. No doubt, he wanted to be "fashionably late" in order to avoid the awkwardness of waiting on me in an unfamiliar place.

"Hi hon," Rick called out gathering a menu. "Just sit yourself down and I'll be right there." I sank down in my usual booth stretching my legs out, scanning the window impatiently for Jasper's arrival.

"What's got you wired so tightly?" Rick asked, concerned at my distracted demeanor as he set the menu and place setting before me. I guess drumming my fingers on the table and jiggling my knee gave the impression I was nervous. _Duh._

"I'm waiting for a friend, Jasper, I'm sure I've mentioned him. He must be running late. I wanted him to meet you." I drifted off to silence feeling embarrassed at my previous enthusiasm to have Rick and Jasper know each other.

"Do you want to wait a bit to order?

"Yeah, I think I'll wait. I'm not sure what he'd want to eat."

Rick clicked his tongue.

"How about I get you a beer to um, take the edge off…" His sparkling eyes glinted at me and I smiled back at him.

"Yeah, that would be great, Rick, thanks." He bustled away and I scrubbed my hands over my face worried that Jasper was pulling away from me, it was now half past nine and there were very few reasons I could think of for him to be this late and not text or call to let me know.

I regretted in retrospect that in my eagerness to be with him I had pushed so early in our relationship for us to move in together, I could see that now. Today spoke volumes.

It was as if Jasper couldn't stand to be in my presence for very long although I was certain he cared for me. It stung. I resolved then and there to let him off the hook and give him all the time he needed to trust that I only wanted his best interests and determined to reign in my bossy controlling tendencies.

Rick came and sat across from me, drying his hands on a dishtowel.

I sucked back the last of the beer and set the bottle down.

"We're about to close the kitchen, it's almost ten o'clock. Can I get you something?" Rick said softly. He reached out and pried my hands apart taking one and looking at me sympathetically.

"Maybe something came up and he couldn't make it…"

"Jasper is not like that. He always let's me know. There's more going on here." Fuck! I suddenly felt like a fool, humiliated at the thought I had expected he would show, without a doubt and here I sat, my friend looking at me with pity.

"I'm going to go, but thanks Rick. I might need to talk some stuff through with you if that's okay."

"Call me when you're ready to talk, hon, I'll be here for you." He patted my shoulder and wiped down the table leaving me sitting alone. Would this booth ever feel the same again? In all the times I'd sat here I enjoyed the comfort and warmth of the place. It had become a security blanket of sorts. Tonight I was desolate, sad. The place reflected my feelings, empty and devoid of vitality.

I dragged myself out of the booth and trudged out the entrance with a quick wave to Rick.

As I was clicking the lock of my car open a van screamed by on the highway at reckless speed. Even I wouldn't hazard that level of acceleration.

Huh. Stupid teenage kids.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

**Jasper**

Gagged and hogtied in the back of a moving vehicle I was jostled around due to the breakneck speed at which it was traveling. I would be bruised from head to toe from the drive alone not to mention the beating I had suffered.

I regained consciousness sometime during the trip and refrained from groaning in pain. I didn't want to alert the thugs that I was awake.

I cringed as shooting pains radiated from every part of my body. I was having a hard time breathing as my mouth was stuffed with a gag.

Edward. I wondered what was going through his mind when I didn't arrive at the diner. I prayed he had faith in me and would realize that I would never, ever leave him stranded.

I don't know why but I knew he was my only hope of making it out of this alive.

**So this was probably not what you expected but is definitely part of the story. I would love to hear what you think. I'll post next chapter in two weeks.**


	22. Chapter 22

**I'm sure I shocked you all with this twist. It's for a reason. Let's just see how Edward deals with the situation.**

**Review if you can, I relish the feedback and will respond as I can!**

**Blind Faith**

**Chapter 22**

**Edward**

_Edward. I wondered what was going through his mind when I didn't arrive at the diner. I prayed he had faith in me and would realize that I would never, ever leave him stranded._

_I don't know why but I sensed that he was my only hope of making it out of this alive._

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

I was puzzled, perplexed at Jasper's failure to meet me at the diner. The few texts I sent him went unanswered. I hope I didn't do anything to offend him, as I've been known to come on a little strong at times because I was such a fucking control freak.

Jasper surprised me a bit with his actions separating himself from me for a good part of the day. Was it a sign that he regretted agreeing to move forward in a relationship? Did he really want to move in with me? If that were the case, why did he say he loved me right before he left my place tonight?

I had doubted "us" in the minutes and hours since he departed. Maybe I should give him some space.

Some part of my subconscious rebelled. _Jasper loved me_. I knew this in my gut; my waking brain just wasn't listening.

The stop light turned red just as I approached. Mine was the only car at the intersection. I was tempted to run the light but caution overruled my momentary stupidity. As I sat, impatient that the light wasn't timed I had a chance to reflect; something about Jasper's absence seemed off to me.

Jasper tended to be very open about his feelings; unlike me he would have said he wasn't ready. Did I put him in a box and force him to make a decision? I was tormented by doubt. At the same time, I'm certain he would have called if something came up and he couldn't make it.

The light turned green and I screeched out giving into my emotions. I sped down the empty street nearly missing the highway entrance. The faster I drove the more focused my emotions became. Frustration grew into anger. I was seething by the time I pulled up in front of my place. My anger was directed inward convinced I'd somehow screwed up. I slammed my door and beeped the lock before striding purposefully up the path to my front door.

It was as I'd left it but nothing felt the same. I began to worry. I called Jasper but my call went straight to voicemail. His mailbox was full so I couldn't leave a message. I almost threw my phone across the room but I thought better, realizing it was the only way for Jasper to call me. God, I wish he would just call!

Should I go over to Jasper's place and talk to him or would that seem as if I were stalking him? Our history was not good from that perspective.

Getting drunk seemed like a good idea. Snatching up a glass and a decanter of scotch I retreated to my bedroom.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

**Jasper**

We came to an abrupt stop causing my head to bump against the side of the van just where I'd been struck earlier. The pain was excruciating causing me to moan. I'd hope to fake unconsciousness so I could figure out what the hell was going on.

"Fuck, he's awake!" one of the thugs whispered harshly. Do I know that voice…?

The van door slid open with a thump and I was unceremoniously hauled out by the back of my shirt. That was particularly painful given the position in which I was tied, barely able to move, my muscles starting to cramp up.

I couldn't stand. Unable to see through the blindfold, my sense of balance was off. I was half dragged, half carried into some sort of shelter by the two grunting men who proceeded to drop me like a sack of flour. The moldy odor of the place (a barn?) stung my nose. It had a humid and swampy feel to it and my skin crawled imagining the filth.

Where the fuck was I and why? Through my fear and confusion I felt a tingle of righteous anger slowly brewing.

I was untied briefly giving my muscles welcome respite. A hand reached into my back pocket relieving me of my keys and wallet. I was then retied to a post of some sort. My hands and feet were bound again. I was still blindfolded but the gag had been removed.

I coughed and took a deep breath. The men huffed with exertion, I could smell their sweat and sour breath, my senses heightened by being blindfolded but they did not say a word. I began to suspect I might know my captors.

My phone vibrated in my pocket then stopped. I prayed that it went unnoticed by my captors. Was that Edward wondering why I hadn't joined him at the diner? I sighed knowing Edward was probably hurt and I wondered what his friend Rick must think of me. That was the least of my worries but it still preyed on my consciousness.

My only hope is that Edward doesn't get to wrapped up in angst and considers my absence rationally as in; _"Think, Edward. Go to my place, you'll know something bad happened. Come find me baby, I love you"_. Somehow I had to get a message to him before my phone died.

Footsteps retreated from me and I heard a door being pulled closed and latched followed in a bit by the van firing up. I heard my abductors drive off with a roar.

I leaned back against the post trying to figure out what the hell happened tonight. I was mystified. No enemy came to mind; I was generally on good terms with most everyone. As far as I knew, I hadn't been in town long enough to piss anyone off enough to deserve this.

My phone vibrated once again. I jerked my head up. _Ouch! _My sore head reacted as it contacted the post I was tied to. I must have drifted off. My stomach clenched as I realized my nightmare was real. Oh God, what must Edward be thinking?

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

**Edward**

Unable to sleep even in my drunken state I found that I was missing Jasper's presence fiercely. I kept reaching over to the place he slept last night as if he would magically materialize. I kept passing my hands repeatedly over the cool sheets.

I tossed and turned anxiously in my bed my mind in turmoil until finally, conceding defeat I got up. It was still early and I was thankful it was Sunday. I needed to sort things out with Jasper if I was to remain sane.

Barely containing my emotions I puzzled over how to approach Jasper and settled on inviting him out to breakfast. With so much time on my hands before I could justify arriving at his place I went for an early morning run. It was still dark, the streets so quiet I could clearly hear my footfalls as I ran.

Winded as I neared my place I stopped at the last corner to catch my breath huffing out steamy puffs of air.

Oddly, a black Hummer slid out of my driveway, turning opposite to where I was hunched over, recovering. The vehicle crawled along slowly as if scanning for someone or something, braking and pausing briefly a few times before continuing on seemingly unfamiliar with the area.

GPS, I thought, a Godsend. I figured they were without. I watched the taillights as they disappeared from view then walked up the path to my home.

Desolation cloaked me as I turned the lock, wondering whether Jasper and I were no more. I was completely mystified as to why he hadn't at least called and told me he couldn't make it. Was this the final brush off?

I felt no resistance as I turned the key indicating it was unlocked. I froze momentarily pulling away from my thoughts of Jasper. I religiously locked my door and could only blame my upset over his absence last night for my lapse. Still, I was confident that I had locked up.

Instantly alert, I cautiously entered my home while at the same time puzzling over my heightened awareness. I had no reason to be on guard.

My eyes scanned the room as I entered.

The place had been trashed. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs, I felt so violated. I wasn't gone more than a half hour so I assumed I had been observed as I left. The skin on my neck prickled. I darted my eyes around suddenly paranoid. I could feel eyes on me.

I couldn't wrap my mind around the level of destruction but my thoughts were drawn immediately back to the black Hummer I watched drive slowly away moments before. Was there a connection? Unless I was the village idiot the answer seemed obvious as I'd never before seen that car in my neighborhood especially at this early hour.

I was jerked back to reality remembering the sensitive case information I had in my home office and I immediately ran upstairs to determine whether the information on my computer had been compromised. My laptop was missing. Fuck!

I stopped abruptly scanning my office. My chair and desk were overturned, cabinets opened and contents scattered about. It looked like a cover though, a cover for what the thieves were really after. The Richards file was gone.

Why?

In a moment of clarity I realized the only rational reason someone would have any interest in tossing my office. It had to be about the Jason Electronics case. If our case files were gone we wouldn't be prepared for opening arguments next week.

Intense rage threatened to overwhelm me. At the same time, I was amazingly internally calm, focused. Those fuckers are going to pay.

I urgently needed to make contact with Jasper and the fact that he was not responding to my calls or my texts was beyond frustrating and worrisome. As of now, this was no longer about our relationship. If Jasper was avoiding me it no longer had import. I hope to God he's home; we had a shitload to do before Monday. Jason Electronics was going down.

Was Jasper avoiding me? Did I have so little faith in him? Or was it something more sinister…

Fucking hell, I needed to get to Jasper's place now! I quickly stripped off my running shorts and pulled on jeans and a t-shirt.

I grabbed my jacket and remembered I had put my wallet and a flash drive containing all of the trial materials in my jacket pocket last night. I smiled for the first time since I'd last seen Jasper.

Bella had complained bitterly about the thankless job of imaging all of the case files. It had taken her the better part of two weeks. Monday, I was going to get down on my knees and thank her.

We had everything we needed to present our case next week. _You lose fuckers_.

I surveyed my room as I turned to leave and spotted the boots we bought yesterday. It seemed so long ago. I choked up and grabbed both pairs along with the clothes Jasper left here. It was my excuse for showing up at his place at the crack of dawn. I gulped down my sorrow.

I tossed the boots and clothes in the back seat and slammed into my seat turning the motor over and squealing off to my Jasper.

It was then it dawned on me I couldn't do this alone.

It was time for me to engage the big guns.

I needed my Daddy.

Fortunately I had him on speed dial. I violated the law and called him as I sped down the darkened streets.

"Cullen" he answered briskly. What the hell? How does anyone sound that bright eyed at the ass-crack of dawn?

"Hey, it's Edward, um, junior, sorry Dad. I'm not quite sure how to phrase this but my place has been trashed and Jasper is nowhere to be found."

"And how could I be of service, you do realize it's six in the morning?" he said cautiously feeling me out.

"I think the fucking Richards case has been compromised by the break in."

Complete silence. My Dad took a calming breath. I could almost hear the wheels in his head turning.

"I have all of the case files on a flash drive. They missed that it was in my jacket pocket." I told him, holding on to the thing as if it was gold.

A copy of the video is in the office vault. If it's gone…" _It's an inside job._

"Let's play it cool though. They don't know what we know." Dad said sagely.

"I don't understand. We gave them everything during discovery…" I answered my own question. If they had access but we didn't, case closed.

"We need to get ourselves over to Jasper's place and give him a heads up." I heard Vicky in the background as I heard sounds of him moving about. I cringed thinking of him in bed with her when I called.

"I just got here." I engaged the brake roughly and threw the door open. I drew in a deep breath and manned up. I kept the line open clasping the phone to my ear. I ran up the path but was horrified by what I saw before me.

"Dad, his door is open." I whispered, completely freaked out. Was I going to find my lover inside…harmed in some way?

"Don't go inside Eds," my Dad whispered harshly. "I'll be there as soon as I can.

It took everything I had to restrain myself from running headlong into the condo.

I impatiently paced for what seemed like an ungodly amount of time until at last I heard a car approach. I prayed it was Dad.

I ran to the curbside and watched as my father exited his car and walked down the hill to Jasper's place. He was a vision; an avenging angel with fiery bronze locks framing his furious face as the first light of dawn glowed behind him. Had I not known better I would have thought him far younger than his 48 years. His shoes rang angrily as he came steadily towards me, _clap, clap, clap_. His black trench coat floated around him like angels wings. Thank God he was on my side!

Dad snapped his phone shut pocketing it. In two strides he was at my side reaching out and taking me into a tight embrace. I was done. I began to sob into his shirt shivering and clinging to him scared shitless of what we might find inside.

Shamefully I was still a little drunk thoroughly disgusted that I had wallowed in self-pity while the love of my life might lie dying. I pressed my phone trying once again to get a response but it was in vain; no reply came from my Jasper

"This isn't the time to fall apart, son. I decided not to call the police yet until I get an idea of what and whom we're dealing with. Come on let's get in there." He took my hand and we walked up the stairs towards the open door.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

**Jasper**

My phone vibrated. _Edward, you're not giving up are you…I love you baby._

Uncertain as to whether I'd been abandoned or that I should expect a return visit from my captors, I set about trying to find a way to get my phone out of my front pocket.

My hands were bound behind me, firmly attached to the post. The rough wood was beginning to abrade and irritate my wrists. The bindings were restrictive. It was highly unlikely that I would be able to free my hands. I needed to consider other strategies.

God this place reeked! I was beginning to feel ill from the stench. That alone was incentive enough for me to find a way to get the fuck out of here.

My ankles were bound as well and there was a restraint that went around my knees and circled my waist trapping me against the post.

I struck upon an idea. The only part of my body I could move at all was my ass. I tentatively started moving my hips back and forth hoping to wiggle the phone out of my pants pocket.

As I did so, I felt my jeans start to slide down a bit. It was all kinds of awkward.

A saving grace is that these particular jeans were loose on my hips so I might be able to free the phone from its confines. The negative is that I had gone commando in anticipation of the evening I had expected to have with my boy. That meant my poor ass was going to touch the filth around me.

I continued to rock my hips feeling my pants slide down further. I thought about Edward and how it felt thrusting against him. Against my better judgment I became slightly aroused.

My pants were bunching up low on my hips and miraculously I saw the top of my phone peek out.

Thrusting wildly I watched as more and more of my lifeline appeared. My ass was scraping against dirt at this point but victory was near.

The phone slid out of my pocket.

Eureka! I exulted.

Now how the hell was I going to make a call? I couldn't bend over to reach it.

It all became too much as I stared at the phone. Just then, it lit up and vibrated. _Edward_. I could sense his desperation. I broke down and cried in frustration.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

The sight that awaited us was horrific. There were obvious signs of a struggle, streaks of blood covered the entryway, but the blood was not extensive. It was clear his assailants dragged him out of here.

"Watch where you walk, Eds, follow me. We need to preserve forensic evidence just in case." I gasped. "I'm sorry to say that but I want to err on the side of caution." I walked gingerly behind my Dad as I surveyed the scene before me.

I was puzzled. Why had they taken Jasper? I was the lead in the case. It made so much more sense to take me. As I entered Jasper's home I felt hollow but at the same time determined to find my love hopefully in good health no matter what it took. No more tears would escape my eyes until he was back in my arms. I was stone.

It tore my heart to see Jasper's bag undisturbed, sitting by the front door. He was obviously on his was to meet me. Fuck! I couldn't break down any more. I had to get Jasper back. As much as I wanted to take it with me I left it there as it was

evidence.

A flash of light glinted off metal on Jasper's dining table catching my eye.

"Dad," I said ominously walking towards the table. He turned and stood by me as we regarded the horror before us.

Two bloody knives impaled documents obviously sent as a message. One was Jasper's license in which the knife penetrated through his picture. The second a message: _"Take the deal"_

I now know that I'm capable of murder because when we catch these fuckers, and we will, their balls are mine.

**Whew! That was hard to write but I hope it was worth the wait. Please review and let me know what you think.**

**Next chapter, Clete flies in to help in the search. He is not a happy camper. Until next time…**


	23. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer: I own nothing of Twilight. Only the story idea is mine**

**Thanks for the lovely reviews. They are greatly appreciated! I meant to post a week ago but RL interfered. Now on with the story! **

**Note: I will alternate frequently between referring to Edward's father as "Edward Senior" and "my Dad". It is to reflect the emotional context Edward is feeling in relation to the events that are occurring both personal and professional.**

**Blind Faith**

**Chapter 23**

**Edward**

"_Dad," I said ominously walking towards the table. He turned and stood by me as we regarded the horror before us._

_Two bloody knives impaled documents obviously sent as a message. One was Jasper's license in which the knife penetrated through his picture. The second a message: __**"Take the deal"**_

_I now know that I'm capable of murder because when we catch these fuckers, and we will, their balls are mine._

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"Eds, did you call Clete yet?"

"Shit it didn't occur to me!" I pulled at my hair as every nerve ending snapping impatient as I was to find a way to locate Jasper. In the meantime Dad placed a call to Jasper's father. He walked outside to the balcony so I couldn't hear the conversation but it was brief.

Ed Senior walked in briskly and snapped his phone shut.

"Clete is on his way and should be here by late afternoon." I worried at how Jasper's dad would take the news. Would he remain as steady and strong as my Dad seemed to be?

"I gave him what little information we have about what happened to Jasper. In the mean time, let's get into the office and see what we can do to locate him." Dad continued then paused deep in thought seeming to be considering our next move.

"First thing we have to resolve is that it's now time to bring in the police and the deputy DA, Caius Volturi." I reflected back on the night poor inebriated Jasper was effectively dumped on my doorstep. Both he and Felix owe us.

Ed Senior strode back to the dining table and regarded the impaled notes intensely. "We need to get these notes into forensics as soon as possible to check for trace evidence, anything to clue us in to who might have taken Jasper although I believe we can say with some assurance that the assailants are likely associated in some way either directly or indirectly with Jason Electronics or Volturi Partners. We need Felix on this. Call him and have him to meet us in the war room."

I shuddered, momentarily frozen and unable to act.

He placed his hands on my shoulders. "Look at me, son." I sighed, desperately trying to hold it together. He shook me slightly until I made eye contact with him. "It's vital that you keep your head on straight and think only of getting Jasper back in one piece. I'm going to need your brain to be focused on him and only him. Anything less is a disservice. I know how much you care about Jasper so let's go get him, alright?" He patted my shoulders lightly and arched his brows in question. I nodded, smiling sadly at his pep talk. He was right though. It was not a time to be weak for Jasper's sake at least if not for my own.

I remembered with a start I'd overlooked someone very important. "I need to call his sister Rose. Can you call Felix and Caius for me?"

"Sure Eds." He looked at me sympathetically and disappeared outside once again to make his calls.

This was going to be one tough conversation. I hope to God I got to her before Clete or all hell would break loose that I hadn't informed her immediately. As it is she's not my biggest fan for whatever reason, probably because she likes Jacob so much. Regardless of how she felt about me, I certainly never considered keeping her in the dark for a moment. Whatever, here goes.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Rosalie reacted as I expected lashing out immediately and reflexively blaming me. Once I had a chance to explain between her screeches and she was able to think rationally I suggested she call Alice and meet up with me at the C&C offices.

Dad returned from making his calls.

"I'm going to wait for the police and forensics to arrive. You can wait with me or head out to the office."

"I'll wait with you."

The police car pulled up followed shortly by the forensics van. Ed Senior did most of the talking as I watched the forensics guy work. I was fascinated at the guy's attention to every minute detail. He placed stray items in glassine bags then labeled and sealed them carefully.

I related to the cops the mysterious black car I'd observed in my neighborhood shortly before finding my place trashed. They took it all down although there was no certainty of a connection.

After about an hour they were finished. The sun was well above the horizon enough noise and activity occurred that curious neighbors gathered on the sidewalk looking for information as to the goings on.

"Let's get out of here Eds." My Dad put his arm around my shoulders and guided me towards the car. I slumped in my seat as he plunked down next to me furiously texting on his cell. Who knew the master litigator was a gadget geek? "I'm calling in all my cards in son, we will get Jasper back safely." I handed my entire trust over to his confident declaration. In the last few weeks he had revealed that he was truly my father as he accepted and supported me like no other.

We arrived at the offices of Cullen & Cullen in short order, Ed Senior still maniacally making his contacts mumbling furiously into the phone.

"Felix will meet us at the office as will Maria and Bella. We're bringing the whole team in." He paused before exiting the open car door eyeing me carefully through look alike eyes. "Son, I had to contact Carlisle as well and let him know what was going on." I took a deep breath as a sharp pain assailed my gut. I had forgotten about my estrangement from him and my Mom in the state I was in over Jasper's disappearance.

"I don't want to have to deal with his bullshit." I spat angrily as I got out slamming the car door. "Is he coming in too?"

"Jasper is an associate of the firm and Carlisle feels responsible for his well being. After all, he did assign him to the Richards case, which has put Jasper in harm's way. It's not like we can keep Carlisle from showing up."

"What about Mom?"

He hesitated. "I don't know, Eds. I only spoke to Carlisle. Somehow I doubt she'll show up."

I was emotionally wrung out, exhausted and hungry. The last thing I wanted was to have Carlisle cop an attitude with me. He and Mom decided to stand with Tanya well then, so be it.

I had no time to dwell on their fucked up issues. I was on a mission to find my boy.

I checked the vault as soon as I arrived to ensure the video was safe. I secured the lock and walked back towards my office spying Mike Newton and Bella just outside in the hallway in deep conversation. She spied me and blushed furiously. It was likely Mike was asking her out. I knew he had a soft spot for Bella, but Bella's unrequited crush on me spoke volumes. I hoped she would let go and give him a chance.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

**Jasper**

Muscle spasms shot painfully through my arms as a result of the prolonged period spent in this awkward position with my hands bound behind my back.

For some reason, the back of my head itched. I leaned gingerly against the post to scratch against it.

_Ouch!_

I had forgotten about the bump and realized that the moisture and itchiness must be from blood. I retched at the thought as my poor head ached.

My phone rested tantalizingly close to my hip useless unless I could reach it. I stared down at the thing willing it to dial Edward's number. I was growing increasingly morose.

My pants were halfway down my ass from all the wiggling I'd done to extract the darn thing from my pocket. The dirt floor felt cold and damp against my exposed skin and I shuddered at the thought of the vermin that might be crawling on me.

I was in so much pain but at the same time unable to keep my eyes from drooping. Waves of exhaustion alternated with nausea as I tried to keep myself alert. It was a losing battle I waged fearing that if I slept I might never wake up.

The hours dragged by, I had no idea how much time had passed. It must be early morning though as I could spy light seeping through the cracks in the wooden walls of the old barn.

I thought about shouting but then this place must be out of the way or my captors wouldn't have left me alone. Did they intend to return to retrieve me? What purpose was served by their actions?

Fear clutched at my gut as I considered whether to attempt to get out of my bindings if I could even do so frustrated as I was by my helplessness. Would I die alone in this place? What would it do to Edward?

Increasingly depressing thoughts swirled through my head but it was the contemplation of Edward that kept me from collapsing in despair. He would find me, of that I was certain.

I struggled trying to loosen the restraints on my hands in an attempt to free at least one to access my phone.

The phone buzzed at just that moment freezing my movements. It lit up revealing that the call was from Edward! Oh so close!

"Sethie, come find me." I broke down then, unable to keep my emotions under control devastated that I couldn't make contact with my boy. My face grew moist with tears, heaving sobs erupted from deep in my chest as all of the fear and anger and helplessness overwhelmed me.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

**Edward**

It was early afternoon by the time we were all assembled in the war room, save for Carlisle. Jacob showed up with Rosalie and Alice and for once he didn't annoy the crap out of me.

"Dude, this is so fucked up!" he ranted on a bit then sat with the girls who had a difficult time containing their emotions. They were huddled together consoling each other off in the corner of the conference room as the rest of us sat around the table.

Bella, kind soul that she is, _and yes I have gained a whole new level of respect for her_, brought bagels, coffee and a tray of sandwiches into the conference room arranging the spreads and insisting we all eat. She returned with orange juice. I lunged for the juice feeling completely dehydrated. I alternated between gulps of juice and greedily consumed one toasted bagel swimming in lox and cream cheese. God, I needed that!

Jacob plopped down in the chair next to me garnering my attention as he reached for a sandwich. He ate quietly then turned towards me clearing his throat.

"What?" I eyed him suspiciously not wanting to engage in any pettiness.

"Look Eddie,"

"Don't call me Eddie." I growled.

"Uh, oops! Edward, I just wanted to lay it out for you. I've been a jerk. All I can say that I'm sorry for being a real asshole to you. You're not such a bad guy. It's just that we both care deeply for the same guy and I resented how easy it was for him to want you and not me and despite my best efforts, it was always you.

I didn't trust that you were on the up and up given the Tanya thing so I messed with you wanting to call you out." Jacob actually appeared contrite.

Okay, I did not expect that.

"Gee thanks Jake," I said a little snidely "What brought this on, is it the fact that Jasper is missing or do you want something from me?"

"It's fucked up what's happening with Jasper and I want to help, okay?" Jake said heatedly.

"Calm down, Jake! It's just not like you to actually talk to me civilly so forgive my surprise." I whispered harshly. "If you want to help us, that's great but I'm not taking any more crap from you."

"It's a deal. Now can we kiss and make up?" He batted his eyes at me. I swatted at his arm pushing him away.

"Shut up, Jake! Now you're back to your old self." I chuckled dryly. "Maybe in another lifetime we can be friends. How's that?"

"I'll take what I can get. Maybe this will be the start of a beautiful friendship…" Jake couldn't help himself.

"Enough. We have work to do." I was happy we cleared the air.

Jacob took it upon himself to go through Jasper's office files to see if anything would tip us off as to who might have taken him. It was violating Jasper's privacy but the last thing I wanted was for him to be harmed or even killed when there might have been a way to prevent it.

Jacob sauntered off on his errand with a second sandwich in hand. I looked over at the girls who were tearfully clutching each other and meandered over to talk with them to try to soothe their fears even as my own escalated. The longer there was no word the smaller the chance Jasper would get out of this unharmed.

I squatted down in front of Rose and took her hand. I had no words of comfort so all I could do was slowly stroke her palm offering what sympathy I could.

"Do you want me to call Emmett?" She sniffed and nodded briskly. The next moment Rose launched herself into my arms with a loud wail causing me to fall back a bit with her in my lap. She continued to sob uncontrollably as I rocked her murmuring assurances I didn't feel.

"I'm so, so sorry Edward for the way I treated you." Rose stuttered out breathlessly. "I know now how much you care about Jasper and I was just evil." She hiccupped trying to gain control of her emotions.

"Rosalie, it's over and done with. No harm, no foul. We're good okay?" She nodded pulling back a bit. I smiled at her with as much reassurance as I could muster.

"Let me call Emmett. I'm sure he'll be right over." I squeezed her arm and deposited Rose back in her chair to be immediately pulled into the embrace of a weeping Alice. I noted Bella had gravitated over to the girls offering refreshment. I caught her eye and she blushed furiously. Poor Mike.

Emmett responded immediately to my text indicating he would arrive within the hour. Rosalie needed him.

As I snapped my phone shut and pocketed it my attention was drawn to loud conversation emanating from the hall just outside.

Carlisle chose that very moment to enter the war room followed closely by Felix. It looked like he'd been engaged in heated dialogue with my erstwhile father.

He braked suddenly ceasing his conversation as he spied me, no emotion on his face. I turned my back not trusting that I could resist lashing out. This was not the time or the place.

It took everything I had not to sneer his name and insult him. Instead, I chose to not acknowledge the presence of a man who far all intents and purposes had been a father figure to me for years. How quickly things can change I thought bitterly, the role of my Dad and Carlisle had essentially reversed. For years it was Ed Senior who I wouldn't recognize.

Maria was deep in conversation with Ed Senior who abruptly stopped her mid-sentence as he checked his phone.

"Clete is on his way from the airport." He blurted then returned to his conversation with Maria. Maria was his go to person to get litigation organized. From my perspective that was a good thing. She was a tiger.

Ed Senior became aware that Carlisle had arrived. His eyes glittered with an unknown emotion and he gave Carlisle only the barest nod in recognition. Carlisle walked over towards him and joined the conversation with Maria. Felix joined them as well.

I was beginning to feel a little out of the loop when I noticed my Dad walking towards me where I stood, hands in my pockets at a loss at what to do next.

"Felix has some interesting information to share with us. It looks like he has his guys working Jasper's case hard. They have a theory."

I heard movement at the conference room door; Clete strode in powerfully and walked directly towards us embracing me warmly. Emmett followed in his wake spying Rosalie and Alice and diverted directly to them.

"How're you holding up Edward?" Clete strained to conceal his emotions as he gripped me tightly.

"I'll let you know once we get Jasper back." I didn't want any attention placed on me or any focus as to my well-being although the sentiment was kind.

Emmett pulled me aside momentarily interrupting. "Edward, I'm going to take the girls to dinner and get them away from this atmosphere. They are close to collapse."

"Thanks Em. I'll keep you posted on any developments." Emmett escorted the two girls away and my attention was drawn back to Clete and my Dad.

"Well let's hear what Felix and his team have uncovered." Ed Senior intoned.

We all milled about without further discussion arranging ourselves around the table. As usual, Ed Senior and Carlisle sat at each end. I took the chair to my Dad's right and Bella sat across from me to his left. Next to her sat Felix then Jacob just returned from his search of Jasper's office. Maria sat to Carlisle's right and Clete pulled out the chair to my left sitting next to me.

Jacob briefly rose and placed my laptop on the table before me.

"I thought you might want to check your e-mail. I could hear it pinging from Jasper's office. It was driving me nuts!"

"Thanks Jake, I will in a bit."

Felix leaned back in his chair facing us. His black eyes were serious and his expression pensive.

"Tanya was seen at Matthew's place. She has apparently been spending a lot of time there. So it looks like your ex-girlfriend Tanya has been priming the pump for the defense. I never liked the bitch"

"All I can say is whatever she told them could not have been much. It more likely than not has shown them how fucked up lame their case is." I responded angrily surprised and disappointed at this turn of events.

I thought better of Tanya, that despite how we ended things we could eventually come to some understanding. It breaks my heart that she could be the reason we may lose this case.

Fuck you bitch and motherfucking horse you rode in on.

Carlisle had the good grace to look shocked. Take _that_, asshole. I'd like to see what _Mom_ has to say about Tanya now.

Unfortunately the strength of our case may also have been the reason for the break in at my place and the resulting theft of case files to undermine our position.

"Felix, someone broke into my condo and ransacked the place. They also took the case files. Can you have your guys see if you can get a line on who might be using the information they found? It's odd because they have most everything already."

"I'll have them look into it. Did you get a chance to secure the video?"

"Yes. It's locked in the vault. I doubled checked when I first arrived. Access to the vault is limited to Ed Senior, Carlisle and me."

Felix placed both hands on the table before him leaning forward slightly and looked at each of us in turn holding my gaze the longest.

"There's more…" he said ominously.

"I received a call this afternoon from Caius Volturi shortly before I arrived. He apparently received an _interesting_ e-mail from his brother, Alec who is associated with Volturi Partners inquiring about Jasper's whereabouts and rambling on something about certain case files Jasper had dropped off with Matthews and a missing video. They want the video bad and they want it now. It seems as though they consider it part of discovery. Caius has been asked, no ordered really, to petition the court and initiate a contempt proceeding against C&C.

I informed Carlisle earlier and am now making the broader group aware although having spoken to Caius he is unwilling to proceed with a contempt citation at this time. I had the suspicion that Volturi thought they had an "in" with the DA's office because of Caius. They were shortly to be disabused of that notion." Felix sat back in his chair to allow us to absorb his words.

Yes, there was no way Caius would turn to the dark side and for that we were very fortunate. Felix wouldn't allow it and Caius was a man of honor.

"The failure to provide the video is bullshit!" I stood abruptly and pounded the table for emphasis. "We all know discovery is not over until the trial begins and that the strategy was to provide a copy to Matthews just as we started proceedings. They have no grounds!" I was now realizing the extent of the danger that Jasper was in. His life depended on the decisions we were about to make.

As I ranted a thrill of suspicion filtered through to my conscious thoughts. "Felix, how do they know about the video?" I looked into his flinty eyes as he stared back at me unflinching.

"Well now, isn't that the twenty-thousand dollar question…" His silence told me everything I needed to know. There was a mole at C&C.

The stakes had never been higher. Unknown forces were pressuring our team. I had to contain my impulse to lash out so we could respond rationally to the threat. I grit my teeth and sank back into my chair sighing deeply.

"What's your theory, Felix?"

"I think someone associated with Jason Electronics and or Volturi has your b..." I looked at him sharply "Jasper."

"My working theory is that they are going to try and force C&C to drop the case using Jasper's safe return as incentive. Now it will be unlikely we can trace these fuckers back to Jason Electronics or Volturi, as they would ensure there was enough cover to deny any involvement. I believe the call to Caius is a pre-emptive strike meant to unsettle our team."

Their ploy worked as I was rattled beyond belief imagining the state Jasper must be in. I wanted so badly to hear his voice pulling my phone out of my pocket but then set it down on the conference table before me restraining my desire to call him once again.

My laptop pinged indicating I had unread e-mail. Typically I didn't receive many on a Sunday piquing my curiosity. I popped it open and called up Outlook.

I had twenty-one unopened e-mails; one was from Craig Matthews and the other twenty were from…_**Carrion**_? Who the hell was that?

I opened the e-mail from Volturi first.

**From:** **Matthews, Craig **  
**To:** **EACullen **

**Cc: TJason ; LO'Connor **  
**Subject:** **Agreement to Resolve and Settle all Legal Matters in re: Richards, et al v. Jason Electronics.**

**Attachment: Richards Settlement **

**Edward,**

**I hope this e-mail finds you well.**

**Out of an abundance of concern for the mental well being of Mrs. Claire Richards and with a desire to minimize any trauma she may experience during testimony in open court, I have prevailed upon Tyler Jason, CEO of Jason Electronics and Liam O'Connor, General Counsel to propose a settlement to resolve all legal matters pertaining to the lawsuit ("Agreement").**

**They both concur that a settlement is the best option for all parties concerned, especially Mrs. Richards, given her fragile state. Please review the attached Agreement that provides what we believe is a generous settlement to finalize any and all legal matters with the proviso that terms of the settlement remain confidential and that there will be no admission of wrong doing on the part of either party to the Agreement. Violation of the terms will render the settlement null and void and we will exercise all available legal options up to and including contempt citations.**

**We expect to hear from you no later than close of business tomorrow that you have obtained your client's acceptance. Thereafter the offer will expire.**

**It's an excellent proposal. I strongly suggest you advise your client to accept it and move on with her life. Encourage her to **_**take the deal**_**. **

**Kind regards,**

**Craig Matthews, esq.**

**Volturi Partners**

I opened the attachment completely appalled by the e-mail. I had the urge to take a bath to get the slime off of me. There was little subtlety and the threat was clear although unstated. Jasper hung in the balance. I summoned over Ed Senior who read the missive over my shoulder as the group congregated behind him trying to get a look.

Passing over the convoluted legal language I heard my Dad swearing a blue streak as we noted the pitiful offer.

"One-Million, Two Hundred and Fifty Thousand Dollars is what they are offering? That doesn't even cover our legal fees. They can't be serious."

"They've got Jasper and we can't prove it. They're trying to force our hand." I said softly as a weight pressed on my chest.

"We're fucking being blackmailed. They think they have our balls in a vice." Clete scrubbed his face in helpless frustration, as our options appeared to be dwindling.

My attention was brought back to the twenty odd e-mails from "_**Carrion"**_.

I clicked on the first one revealing a most frightening message.

**From:** **Carrion**  
**To:** **EACullen **  
**Subject:** **Take the Deal**

**Edward,**

**I have your beloved. You can have him back after Cullen & Cullen takes the deal.**

The next fourteen messages were identical spaced about one-half hour apart. The last five set a very different but increasingly threatening tone.

**From:** **Carrion**  
**To:** **EACullen **  
**Subject:** **Take the Deal**

**Edward,**

**I have your beloved. Why aren't you responding? Are you questioning your sexuality? Is he no longer your favorite? Ropes are cutting into his wrists. Don't you care? Take the Deal.**

Fuck! I bang my head on the table only to be restrained by Ed Senior. "Don't let this shit get to you Eds."

**From:** **Carrion**  
**To:** **EACullen **  
**Subject:** **Take the Deal**

**Edward,**

**I have your beloved. Why aren't you responding? He is in so much pain; he is moaning your name. Take the Deal.**

My resolve weakens as Clete and Ed Senior keep me from fucking trashing the war room. I am going to kill Carrion. Our fathers keep my murderous thoughts in check. I need my boy back.

**From:** **Carrion**  
**To:** **EACullen **  
**Subject:** **Take the Deal, Asshole**

**Edward,**

**I have your beloved. Why aren't you responding? Has a certain brown haired girl captured your fancy? What would Jasper think? Would he feel betrayed if I whispered in his ear that you don't care for him any longer? Maybe he would just want to DIE!**

**TAKE THE DEAL. Lives are at risk.**

What the fuck is he talking about? What brown haired girl? Tanya is strawberry blonde. I pulled at my hair in frustration.

**From:** **Carrion**  
**To:** **EACullen **  
**Subject:** **Take the Deal**

**Fuckwad,**

**I have your beloved. Why aren't you responding? Jasper is going to die if you don't TAKE THE FUCKING DEAL!**

"Someone's unhappy" Clete sneers sarcastically, his chest heaving but his mind is focused on the task at hand. "Let's take stock for a moment, shall we. Ed Junior, this is good that he's rattled so calm the fuck down! Our nemesis is frustrated because he is not getting what he wants."

He paused momentarily lost in thought.

"On the other hand, we may be looking at this from the wrong tangent. Something tells me we may have an independent agent in the mix that Volturi and Jason Electronics are not aware of. In other words, Jasper's kidnappers acted without authorization. Regardless, it's a bad fact for Volturi. Our mole may have done us a huge favor in regards to the case. All we need to do is get Jasper back safely and we are not taking the deal."

**From:** **Carrion**  
**To:** **EACullen **  
**Subject:** **Take the Deal, Assward!**

**Fuckwad,**

**I have your beloved. Why aren't you responding? Guys like you think you can have anything you want, any girl you want just because you are a Cullen. Well, I got what you want. Maybe I'll just give Jasper a little something to remember me by…UP THE ASS!**

**Take the deal my friend.**

My heart about jumped out of my chest as I grasped Clete's arm. Both he and Ed Senior hovered over my shoulders along with Felix as we diligently read through each e-mail message looking desperately for clues. The last e-mail was way personal. This is someone I work with, but who? Most of the people I work with on a daily basis are around this table.

A window opens on my laptop screen:

**Carrion is requesting a 'read' receipt. Would you like to respond?**

**Yes**

**No**

I moved to hit the "yes" button but Felix slapped my hand away before I could type a response.

"They fucked up." Felix boomed suddenly, enthusiastic for the first time today. Pointing at my laptop he exclaimed, "The e-mails. They prove a connection between the kidnappers, Volturi and their client. They're just too clever for their own good." He gloated.

"_**Carrion**_ e-mails came from an internal Cullen & Cullen server. Whoever the mole is set up a separate e-mail account but forgot that there is no extension on internal communications. Look at the header! We just need to track it and we'll find our mole." Felix immediately flipped his phone open texting madly to his cohorts. "Calling all hackers." He exulted gleefully wiggling his eyebrows.

"Not only that, they all used the same fucking phrase, '_**Take the Deal' **_Felix continued. Something tells me we're dealing with amateurs." He grinned like the cat that ate the canary.

"Get Riley set up to track Edward's response to the read receipt and the source of any e-mails he receives in response. I think **Carrion** is going to go nuts."

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

**Jasper**

The stench in the barn was getting to me. I had thrown up the meager contents of my stomach hours ago but I continued to gag. As the day warmed the barn became unbearable as the moldy stench assaulted my senses.

My head was spinning as I drooped over to one side unable to sit up. My restraints pulled at my arms but I was beyond caring. I might have peed myself as well to add insult to injury. The wet material of my pants irritated my thighs. I was parched. My throat ached from lack of fluids.

I could no longer think straight, idly wondering if my captors ever planned to return. I didn't know if I could survive another night in this place.

I opened my bleary eyes seeking my phone. My last conscious thought before I gave into the darkness was that I must have rolled my bare hip over the phone as it was no longer visible.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

**Edward**

For the first time tonight I sensed we were making progress as I watched the beehive of activity around me. I stared at my laptop awaiting further instruction from Felix like a zombie from lack of sleep. I was numb from the events of the day.

Bella plunked herself down next to me offering to bring me a sandwich and some hot tea.

"Sounds great," I said without any feeling. I wasn't hungry I just wanted to find Jasper.

"Edward, may I have a moment?" It was Carlisle. Every bit of anger I'd tried to restrain was about to boil over. He placed a hand on my shoulder and squeezed.

"Don't," I said through clenched teeth and wrenched away from his touch.

"Leave him be" warned Ed Senior. Carlisle's hand slid off and he walked away sighing deeply. How much more of this shit could I take?

I plopped my head down on my arms resting on the table wanting a moment alone. Riley and Felix were somewhere conferring about how to track **Carrion's **e-mail. My eyes drooped shut from exhaustion.

My phone buzzed, buzzed, buzzed. I lifted my head to see who called.

My heart stopped.

**It was from Jasper!**

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

**Whew! I hope you liked this chapter! Sooo, anyone want to hazard a guess as to who Carrion is? Review, I'd love to see what you think.**

**Until next time, hopefully two weeks!**


	24. Chapter 24

**Thanks again for your wonderful reviews. I will try and be better about responding! Anyways, this chapter has tied me in knots trying to wrap up some loose ends before I bring the boys together again. Hope it's not too confusing!**

**Blind Faith**

**Chapter 24**

**Edward**

_My phone buzzed, buzzed, buzzed. I lifted my head to see who called._

_My heart stopped._

_**It was from Jasper!**_

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"Jasper where are you, baby?" I whispered into the phone. The hair on the back of my neck prickled as I awaited a response.

"Jasper is calling," I yelled capturing everyone's attention. The group huddled around me.

"Jasper, are you there?" I spoke again hesitantly waiting for his reply. There was no answer. The only sound I could make out was light static.

The line was open yet no one responded. I shushed the room and turned the phone speaker to maximum listening intently for any sound.

There it was, a light moan obscured by the poor connection followed by a wracking cough.

"Fuck! I think he's hurt." My eyes darted around wildly. "We've got to find him now!"

"Jasper's phone must have GPS and since you weren't been routed directly to voicemail it's still on. We need to call Caius and have him file an emergency order with the court to get the phone company to track its location." Ed Senior swung into action furiously dialing the deputy DA's number.

Caius Volturi, Felix's boyfriend was an interesting guy. Part of the wealthy Volturi family he chose not to join the firm despite knowing he was a shoo-in for partner given his family connections. He was more interested in law and order.

As an openly gay man he fought the battle to be recognized in his own right as a successful attorney. It seems he also didn't want to be tainted by the type of client Volturi Partners generally sought out. Jason Electronics was a classic example.

"Caius? It's Ed Cullen calling. We have made contact with Jasper. Somehow he's managed to call from his cell but seems unable to speak. He may be injured. We need a court order so we can track his location." I tuned out after that impatient to get moving and find Jasper. Pacing around the room seemed to channel my energy but unproductively.

"Can you get it done tonight?"

"Great, the sooner you get it to us the better." Ed Senior clicked his phone shut and strode towards me. "Eds, we have AT&T hanging on the line for word from Caius. Maria worked her connections there to get them moving promising we'd get the order from the court. Technically they've already traced his location."

"Jesus, Dad. This is killing me can't they tell us and we'll paper it later?" Jasper was within reach but bureaucracy kept us from getting to him. I held the phone cradled in my hands listening intently for further sounds.

"They're taking a huge chance as it is. If you want, we can start moving toward the garage assuming we'll get word shortly." He looked around spotting Clete and called him over.

"We want to start rolling. It will help Edward's nerves."

"All right, let's go. Oh and just so you know, I'm packing, just in case." Clete opened his suit jacket slightly revealing a holster. This just amped me up wishing I was carrying as well.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

We were distracted by the approach of Felix and Maria. "You can't leave yet, we've almost got a fix on our traitor." Maria burst out.

"You get someone to identify the IP address from Carrion to a specific unit." Maria yelled at Bella to hightail it to IT and get Riley to track the e-mail while it was still fresh. I decided to taunt Carrion so that he would keep the trail fresh.

Riley called the war room indicating we should leave the telecom line open. He was watching incoming e-mail traffic live as I exchanged insults with my nemesis.

"I've got it!" he shouted, confirming that someone with access to a firm computer sent the e-mails. How stupid could they be and how lucky for us!

"They're on the VPN though not in the office. I should be able to identify the user soon and the location."

While Riley worked to identify the laptop owner, I turned my attention back to my Dad.

Ed Senior and Clete were on fire. I was conflicted between my desire to nail the asshole and to get to Jasper. They, however were outraged by Carrion's e-mail.

"Take the deal, Take the fucking deal? Who do they think they are playing with?"

Their outrage was palpable at being so blatantly manipulated.

"These guys are barely containing their contempt for the plaintiff. The nerve they had making that ridiculous offer and the threat to my son's well-being." Clete huffed exhausted but determined. "They can't be allowed to get away with this. We'll need to carefully assess how much we have before we take it to Caius. These fuckers need to be taken down." My Dad nodded in agreement.

"Ready to respond, Eds?" Ed Senior stood behind me. "I think we've got the asshole all fired up." He gave my shoulders an encouraging squeeze.

I breathed deeply stoking my ire. "Yeah, let's do this." I hit reply and quickly typed up a response.

**From:** **EACullen **  
**To:** **Carrion**

**Cc: Matthews, Craig **  
**Subject:** **Re: Take the Deal**

**Carrion,**

**Touch a hair on Jasper's head and I will make you pay dearly every day of the rest of your God forsaken life. Tell me where he is and we'll go easy on you as long as you flip on your cohorts.**

**Oh, and we are NOT taking the deal.**

**WE ARE NOT TAKING THE DEAL.**

**We will be reporting your threats and attempted extortion to the court and you can convey the following message to your "friends":**

**As far as any settlement is concerned the minimum acceptable amount is $50 million with an acknowledgement by Jason Electronics of negligence in product design and culpability in the death of Bree Richards.**

**Edward A. Cullen, Esquire**

I clicked send and slouched back in the chair completely drained. I added Matthews at the last second so he would know we were onto him, the scumbag.

Carlisle wandered into the war room calmly observing our tense posture as we awaited a response. How could the guy remain so distant?

"What did you tell them?" He inquired.

"I responded with a FUCK YOU!" I yelled. "What do you think?" I pulled at my hair in desperation.

"Calm down son"

"Shut it Carlisle, you have no right." He staggered back from the weight of my words.

Just then my e-mail pinged. I opened the message from **Carrion**:

**From:** **Carrion**  
**To:** **EACullen **  
**Subject:** **Re: Take the Deal**

**Edward,**

**You shouldn't have said that. Say bye-bye to your boy.**

**Carrion**

There was no way this asshole would harm Jasper, I prayed. He wanted me to concede the case. This wasn't going to happen. In the meantime, my angel was suffering. Then it occurred to me.

"What feeds on carrion?" I said softly finally getting it.

"Vultures, for one" volunteered Jacob.

"Vultures" I mused. "Volturi vultures?" My hard eyes swung towards Carlisle.

"Tell Tanya to go fuck herself. She and Matthews are to blame if Jasper dies," I hollered beside myself with grief. I would personally ruin them if something happened to Jasper.

Carlisle's eyes glittered with remorse. "Son, I'm sorry, so sorry."

"It's a little late for regrets, Carlisle." I responded bitterly. I was saddened that our relationship had sunk so far. Now was not the time for reconciliation. I watched as Carlisle sunk into a chair stricken by the realization of what Tanya had done.

In the meantime we had played our traitor like a fiddle. Carrion was clearly an idiot. It didn't take much to link him to Volturi and it was clear he didn't realize the extent to which he was a tool. I was anxious to see how this played out. My greatest fear is that they would act in desperation and harm Jasper. We needed to get to Jasper first.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"How much longer will it take to get the order, Dad?" I felt so helpless gripping my phone tightly to my ear listening for the slightest sound. Dad's phone rang just as I spoke. Ed Senior fumbled with it in his nervousness but finally connected. I waited as he talked quietly into the phone then brightened.

"We got the order. Fax it to me and thanks to Caius." He gave him a fax number.

"Maria, you still got AT&T on the line?" She nodded in affirmation. "Tell them we're faxing them the court order but we want to know the location now!" I was up and ready to race for my car as Maria scribbled furiously. Apparently Jasper was very near a cell tower, which helped them quickly pinpoint his location.

"Where's your I-pad?" Ed Senior bellowed. Bella ran off to retrieve it from my office.

"We'll use the GPS to track the location." Where would I be without my Dad? The thought left me breathless, as I stood awestruck and both he and Clete. They were masterful in a crisis while I wandered about like a useless fool. That had to change for my sake as well as Jasper's.

"Let's go get our boy." Clete hollered out.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Riley walked into the room, as we were packing up to leave. His face was grim.

"I got a fix on the mole."

His eyes flared with anger.

"It's Mike Newton."

"Mike fucking Newton is Carrion?" I shouted, beyond betrayed. Mike played up to me for the past few years trying to be a buddy. I never felt it. So I guess he offered himself to Volturi but what would he gain? It's doubtful they'd ever hire a fuck up like him. As one of Riley's pals was the traitor, I mused, he would be outraged. That explained Riley's fury and sense of betrayal. I think all of us had experienced our fill of it.

"It looks like Newton's at his place even as we speak." Riley continued.

I looked over at Felix.

"We've got to go after Jasper. Felix, can you get this guy? Call Caius and let him know so the police can haul his ass in."

I ran to catch up with Ed Senior and Clete.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

I sat shotgun as my Dad drove my car with Clete leaning over between us from the back seat. Clete and I watched anxiously as the little blue dot on my I-Pad pulsed its progress as we approached our destination.

The road was increasingly pitted with potholes and the surrounding area was a dark and abandoned ruin. Only a few streetlights shone making it hard to see well enough to stay on the road.

I carefully guided Ed Senior when our signal curved as we drove through poorly lit abandoned streets. I worried about the denizens of this area approaching us as we drove along slowly because for certain this area harbored a significant population of the poor and unfortunate, the drug addicted and the criminal.

The last turn we took revealed an open area, an abandoned field of sorts covered in crabgrass with one lonely building shielded towards the back shrouded by a few scraggly trees. It was the only edifice in sight. It was decrepit. My stomach clenched as we pondered how to approach the moldy structure, which appeared to be a barn from a long ago era at a time when this area was mostly rural.

We drove close to the old structure cautiously without headlights on uncertain as to whether we would be encountering Jasper's captors. We diverted off to a dark side road to avoid being seen.

Ed Senior turned off the ignition. The three of us sat silently for a moment. I knew we were close to Jasper, I could feel him.

Off to the side of the barn sat a dark pick up truck with an occupant who hadn't spied us yet. The light from his phone glowed off of him, so he must have been communicating with someone. Clearly, he was not expecting company.

The doors to our car clicked open as quietly as possible. Clete and Ed Senior spoke not a word as they slid from their seats and softly closed the car doors. Not a word was spoken.

I watched as they approached the truck from both sides. I finally slid from my seat and walked to a better vantage point.

They struck like lightening surprising the man in the truck.

"Where, the fuck is my son!" Clete was about to strangle the asshole dragging him from the truck until he gave up details.

He struggled briefly but Ed Senior and Clete soon had him on the ground his hands bound.

Go check the barn, Eds" my father called out.

I proceeded to the ramshackle structure. I prayed Jasper was here and alive. The first thing I noticed was that the door was propped shut but unlocked, not a good sign but then where would Jasper have gone if he'd managed to escape? I pushed the door open as it protested with a loud groan and was assaulted by a vile stench nearly making me vomit. My eyes soon adjusted to the gloom.

The sight before me was horrifying. My flashlight illuminated Jasper's slumped form. He was facing away from me but what I saw brought up bile. The back of his head was matted with blood tangled in his curls. His arms strained away from a post he was bound to and worst of all, his pants were pulled down past his ass. I envisioned the worst as I made my way quickly to him.

"Jasper, baby, it's me." He was unconscious. Raspy breaths erratically escaped his chapped lips. His face was battered and bruised; one eye swollen and purple. Oh, baby!

"Dad, I need a knife now!" I shouted out in the dark, praying that I was heard.

I struggled to pull Jasper's jeans back up to give him some sense of dignity and managed to do just that as Ed Senior launched himself through the barn door followed closely by Clete who moaned at the sight of his son. Ed Senior passed something to Clete and exited.

My overwhelming instinct was to protect Jasper from everyone and take him immediately to the safety of my home but it was clear we needed to get him to a hospital to have his injuries attended to.

Jasper gave a strangled cough, which egged me on to free him. I feverishly sawed through his restraints with Dad's pocketknife that Clete had thrown at me yelling for someone to get water. Clete jumped up at my demand and disappeared outside. Ed Senior was nowhere to be seen. I suspected he might be dealing with the kidnapper we'd restrained. It would not be pretty for that asshole.

Finally after what seemed like forever, Jasper's bindings loosened and he slumped against me moaning. I curled my arms around his unconscious form desperately begging for him to hold on. The stress of the day was beginning to get to me and as I held my boy grateful that he was alive a sob escaped me.

Jasper's eyes fluttered open and he reached a filthy hand up to caress my cheek streaking it with dirt. My tears could no longer be contained and I cried freely.

"It's okay, it's okay, baby," he croaked. "I knew you would find me."

I leaned over and kissed his chapped lips over and over so happy to have him in my arms. I took the opportunity to loosen him from the ropes that bound his waist and legs until he was finally free.

Clete returned with water so I angled Jasper up until he was leaning with his back slightly angled away but pressing into my chest. I cradled his neck being careful to avoid the back of his head and put the bottle to his lips. I dripped a little to moisten his mouth as he sipped slowly.

The stench in the barn was beginning to get to me. I can't imagine how Jasper stood it for the while he was held captive.

"Let's get him out of here." I sat back on my haunches to gain some leverage then lifted Jasper gently.

"Can you walk?"

"Yeah, I think so but hold on to me I don't think I can stand on my own much less walk."

"Don't worry, I'm not letting go of you any time soon." I pushed his messy locks from his face and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek.

Something shiny caught my eye as we stood. There in all its glory was Jasper's lifeline, still on. I retrieved it and pressed it to Jasper's ear taking my own out of my pocket and doing the same.

"This is how we found you, GPS on your phone allowed us to track your location."

"I don't remember calling you…" Jasper said wonderingly. "I did manage to wiggle it out of my pocket losing my pants in the process but I couldn't reach it. I think my last conscious thought before you guys showed up was intense frustration."

"I guess you must have butt-dialed me." I snickered. "It looks like you were lying on the phone."

Jasper smiled for the first time at my inane comment.

Jasper wrapped his arm over my shoulder as I gripped him around the waist. We slowly made our way out of the hellhole. Clete held the door open and patted Jasper as we moved past him.

We both took deep gasping breaths of cool air as soon as we emerged to clear the smell from our noses.

The odor clung to our clothes and I was anxious to free us from them. My thought was to burn the offending items, as I don't think either of us could stomach wearing these outfits again. Fortunately, they held no special meaning.

"It's going to take an ambulance forever to make its way to us. We're better off getting Jasper to Emergency ourselves" my Dad shouted as we made our way towards his car.

"I'm going to wait for the police to get here." He tossed Clete the keys to my car.

"I'll catch a ride to the hospital with these guys" he said pointing as the police cars flashed into view lights blazing. We were all illuminated in flashes of blue and red as we slowly trudged to my car.

The policemen cautiously approached us and Ed Senior took the lead knowing them well. We paused but he waved us on.

"They'll be by the hospital later to get your statements. Just go and get Jasper seen to."

Ed Senior led the policemen to the restrained kidnapper and they unceremoniously pulled him to his feet cuffing him then tossed him into the back of one of the police units.

Clete started the car as I crawled in the back seat gently guiding Jasper in cringing as he winced in pain. Clete took off as soon as I pulled the door closed.

Jasper nestled his head in my lap clearly exhausted. He held on to me tightly at first then relaxed as he fell into a restless slumber. I finally got a good look at the mess on the back of his head. The hair was matted and bloody. There was an open wound about an inch long that surely would need stitches.

His wrists were raw from the tight bindings but that would heal relatively quickly.

I worried about the potential for concussion noting that Jasper kept drifting off and was having a hard time keeping his eyes open. There was also the potential for internal bleeding.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"We're here." Clete called out. I lifted my head up feeling groggy. I must have fallen asleep as well and no wonder, I don't think I'd slept in over twenty-four hours.

I jostled Jasper gently whispering for him to wake up. He groaned and lifted his head slightly. Clete opened the back door and carefully guided my injured boyfriend out of the car. I exited quickly and came around the back of the car.

A glance at the trunk reminded me that I'd put Jasper's clothes in there last night when I had originally gone to his place for an entirely different reason. The painful memory tugged at me but I pushed it aside to deal with later. Right now Jasper needed to heal.

I'd collect the clothes and bring them to Jasper once he was settled.

"Edward" Jasper croaked out anxiously turning towards me as Clete held him steady.

"I'm right here, baby." I called out and quickly placed my hand it his outstretched palm. He winced when I wrapped a comforting arm around his waist and I became concerned he might have bruising or even broken ribs.

We made our way to Emergency and as we did a gurney was immediately rolled out and we stood aside as the doctors took over placing Jasper on the stretcher wheeling him away for observation and treatment. The sight of him being rolled away whimpering and calling my name finally got to me.

I collapsed but Clete caught me.

"This is no time to let down, son. Come on, let's get something to eat while they fix up our boy." He held on to me tightly as we walked linked together to the basement cafeteria.

By now, it was late in the evening or it could have been early morning I had lost all sense of time.

Clete had placed a turkey sandwich, coffee, orange juice and a muffin in front of my folded arms. I'd rested my head down briefly and jerked awake at the smell of coffee.

"Come on, eat up" he said patting my shoulder. I stretched then attacked the proffered foot suddenly ravenous. I finished the last of the muffin and coffee just as we heard a flurry of activity at the entrance. We were the only occupants and observed a blue clad nurse enter and directly approach our table.

"Edward?" She glanced between the two of us.

I warily stood up from the table. "I'm Edward Cullen. How's Jasper?" Something wasn't right!

The frazzled nurse addressed us both as Clete stood next to me.

"A very agitated Jasper Whitlock is calling for you and refusing treatment. I'm afraid he may go into seizure if we don't get him under control and we can't medicate him quite yet until we evaluate the concussion." This was the worst possible outcome I'd feared. I could feel the panic approach as I fought to get my emotions under control.

"Take me to Jasper now." I gasped out roughly. "This is his father he's coming too." All signs of tiredness disappeared. Jasper needed me to be strong for him so he could be treated and I had to help calm him down.

We followed the nurse who turned on her heel and walked briskly away. She filled us in talking back over her shoulder moving with alacrity.

"Mr. Whitlock appears to have an aversion to being touched flinching away at anyone who approaches. He has an open wound that needs to be sutured but that's the extent of the injuries we've been able to observe. I'm Angela by the way." Angela veered to the right and we followed her into the O.R.

I heard Jasper's moans immediately seeing him writhe against the doctors' attempt to restrain him without causing further injury. His legs twisted fighting against their control.

"This is against protocol as you are not a family member so I need to get his father's permission for you to approach him…" I was outraged but thought better of arguing the "family" issue.

"Hell yeah, he's got full authority…"

Angela interrupted. "We need you to sign…"

"Give me that" Clete growled snatching the clipboard from her and scribbled his consent.

"Edward, you need to scrub before you can approach him. Come with me quickly now." Angela took me by the elbow guiding towards the sink. She pulled out scrubs and booties to cover my shoes, a mask for my face and a cap to cover my hair.

"Change in there and hurry."

I stripped naked and pulled on the scrubs and booties over my bare feet. I dangled the mask around my neck pulling the cap over my hair covering it completely. I rushed back into the treatment room.

Angela pulled me to the sink and proceeded to scrub me up to my elbows. She pulled the mask over my face tying it hustling me over to Jasper who was still moaning my name.

"Jasper it's me, Edward." I leaned in close and looked into his wild blood shot eyes. He clearly was delirious and needed immediate help.

"Edwa-a-a-rd." He fought to touch me.

"Baby you need to let them help you." I whispered then looked up at the doctor.

"Please take your hands off for a minute, it's agitating him." They released him and he sat up clinging to me.

"Shush Jasper, I'm here. I won't let go of you unless I absolutely have to. Lie down so they can check you."

"Edwa-a-a-rd, I'm so fucked up." He lay back down on the bed. His eyes drooped but he fought to keep them open.

"Don't leave me," He pleaded.

"I'm not going anywhere, baby. Hold my hand J, look at me while they check out your injuries." Jasper's breathing regulated and I caught the doc's attention.

"The doctor is going to touch your head to check out the bump." The doc caught my drift and I turned Jasper so he could begin the process of cleaning and suturing.

Jasper murmured assent.

"Before we start we need to get him out of these clothes. We'll just cut them off. If that's a problem let me know." Angela said standing next to me. I startled just now noticing her presence.

"Bag and burn them." I snarled. The stench they carried still lingered.

Jasper drifted off gripping my hand tightly and was asleep (or unconscious) once again.

Angela proceeded to efficiently cut away Jasper's clothes. I gasped at what his naked body revealed.

The entire right side of his torso was mottled with deep purple bruising. It was evidence of potential broken ribs. His body still bore streaks of filth from his time in the barn especially his arms and lower back.

"Can I clean him?" I asked desperate to get him out of this state.

"Later." Angela spoke in a clipped tone. "We have to get a complete assessment of his injuries first." I nodded, understanding.

I continued cataloguing the bruises, which continued down Jasper's legs. His right ankle was puffy and might be sprained, hopefully not broken, as he was able to walk with some assistance.

I watched the doc snip a patch of Jasper's hair so he could have clear access to the wound. It took far less time than I anticipated to close the cut for which I was grateful.

"We need to do an MRI and X-rays" Angela stated following a brief exchange with the doctor who snapped off his gloves and left the room presumably for his next case.

"Unfortunately, you can't hold his hand while we do the MRI but hopefully Mr. Whitlock will stay calm if he can hear your voice. Here, see if you can get him into the hospital gown."

I took the gown, still warm and covered Jasper cradling him lightly as I passed it under his body. I tied the back closed offering him a greater sense of modesty. At any other time I would have taken the opportunity to lightly smack his naked ass. Instead, I pulled the gown tight. He slept through my ministrations, which raised my concern over head trauma. At this thought I was furious. I wanted to fucking kill the pricks who hurt him. Newton was going to pay dearly.

Angela handed me a warm blanket to cover Jasper then she rolled the gurney out of the treatment room.

I trudged behind in case Jasper woke and called for me. I prayed they could get through the rest of his evaluation while he slept.

I passed the waiting room seeing Clete laid out on one of the sofas. I called out, he snapped to. I briefly filled him in on Jasper's condition anxious to get back to him.

I got to the MRI room as two interns lifted Jasper onto the table. I was surprised he allowed them to move him but then noticed his slack mouth. He was still out. They positioned him and made quick work of the MRI.

Angela approached me. "Hey kiddo, I think we're good to go now. Mr. Whitlock is likely to sleep through x-rays. Go catch a few zees in the waiting room. She patted my shoulder and gave me a little shove. "I'll let you know when he's settled in his room. Make sure his dad signs all the permissions so you have access to his room, okay?" She winked at me and for the first time today, I smiled back at her.

"Thanks Angela, for everything." I was so grateful for the excellent care she gave to Jasper.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

I was at a loss, a sea with conflicting emotions deep in thought as I made my way back to the waiting room. The night of Jasper's disappearance when we were supposed to meet at the diner and where I was planning to introduce him to Rick I truly believed he'd blown me off, that he was again rethinking "us". Sadly, his waffling and pulling away finally had an effect on me.

Even as he lay injured I was uncertain that his neediness was more than a knee jerk response as much as I wanted it to be because he loved me.

His sister and his friends apparently thought very little of me despite their apologies but that was to be expected given the circumstance. Did they mean it? Did they think I was good for Jasper? I sighed feeling very lonely right now. I decided to call Rick and fill him in on the happenings since I left his place. I really couldn't think of anyone else to call.

I dialed and he answered immediately. "Hey buddy, how are you doing? Have you heard from whatshisname?" Clearly he at least, was still in my corner.

"Yeah, Rick, and it's not what you think. He was injured and couldn't get to me. I'll fill you in on the details when I see you. He's in the hospital right now and I need to get back to him."

"Hey, you need me to sit with you? Are you okay?" I was warmed by his concern.

"No, friend, I'm good. Keep us in your thoughts."

"Call me, Edward if you need anything, anything at all. I'll be there."

"Thanks, Rick. I'll try and be by Wednesday. I need someone to hash this out with."

"You know where to find me, hon. Take care, bye." I clicked off and entered the waiting room.

**What will Edward find awaiting him in the waiting room? Poor baby, he loves Jasper so much. Hope you liked it and sorry it took me three weeks to post. My RL is intruding on my fantasy life. Dang! Please review and give thoughts.**


	25. Chapter 25

**Well here's the latest chapter. Thanks so much for your lovely reviews!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing of Twilight. I only own the story idea.**

**Blind Faith**

**Chapter 25**

**Edward**

"_Call me, Edward if you need anything, anything at all. I'll be there."_

_"Thanks, Rick. I'll try and be by Wednesday. I need someone to hash this out with."_

_"You know where to find me, hon. Take care, bye." I clicked off and entered the waiting room._

**.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.**

I walked quietly back towards the waiting room and sank in the chair next to Clete who was stretched out across two chairs lightly snoring. I was having a hard time settling down still full of nervous energy and proceeded to try and find a comfortable position. I ultimately decided sleep wasn't possible. My mind was in turmoil traumatized by the events of the day.

What I yearned for was Jasper whole and healed once again, that we could resolve our issues and move on together.

Angela's shadow cut across me.

"Hey, Mr. Whitlock is back in his room. Would you like to go to him?" I was up like a shot following her back to Jasper's room.

"He's been lightly sedated but may wake up." She said quietly. "There are extra blankets, by the way in the tray under the bed." Angela adjusted the blanket covering Jasper pulling it up over his shoulder. She looked up at me from across the bed with sympathetic eyes.

"He's going to be all right, Mr. Cullen. Try and get some sleep." I nodded trying to smile but it came out as a grimace. She departed pulling the door closed.

It was just Jasper and me now. The silence of the depths of the night was comforting after the chaos of the last few days. Jasper was sleeping soundly, I observed as I stood over him carefully checking his injured body. Fortunately someone had thought to clean him up a bit so he looked much better although still bruised and battered.

His blonde locks had been washed, still slightly damp. I walked around to the other side of the bed to get a better view of his head wound. He was lying on his side slightly propped up to protect his damaged ribs. The wound on the back of his head had been cleanly sutured and was covered by a small bandage. Not much hair had been cut away so it probably would be easy to camouflage until it grew back in. I couldn't resist pulling a few locks off his face and running my hand softly against his cheek. I brushed my knuckles against the soft stubble of day's old growth.

Jasper sighed deeply and shuddered at my touch. I jerked my hand back not wanting to disturb his slumber.

"Ed-w-a-a-rd" he moaned slowly beginning to stir. Damn! I'd woken him. I quickly moved back around the bed and sat at the edge of the chair I'd pulled up close to his bed. His brow was furrowed but his eyes remained closed. He grew increasingly agitated tempting me to call Angela back as it was clear he was having a nightmare of some sort probably reliving the events of recent days.

"Sh-h, baby I'm here." I reached for his fisted hand stroking the back lightly afraid to touch him too much and cause a panic reaction if his dream was too vivid.

"Ed-w-a-a-rd" Jasper's hand relaxed and opened reaching for me. I placed my own in his trying to be as gentle as possible. He gripped it tight as if it were his lifeline.

I laid my head down on the edge of the bed keeping my eyes glued to his face wanting him to calm but overcome with exhaustion.

I could have opened up the chair I was sitting in which converted to a reclining bed suitable for more comfortable sleep but I just didn't want to let go of Jasper. I soon drifted off too tired to keep my eyes from shutting.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Soft kisses were placed on my face, my eyelids, my nose and my mouth. Oh it felt s-o-o-o-o good I could feel my smile broaden. I might have growled with pleasure a little in my sleep. Warm breaths floated along my skin sending shivers down my spine.

The sheet beneath my face was damp stirring me to consciousness. I must have drooled, yuck!

"Edward, wake up." A hoarse voice croaked at me.

I slowly opened my eyes to be greeted by a beautiful but bruised sight, Jasper's twinkling blue eyes smiling at me with undisguised emotion.

He laughed lightly. "You should see the side of your face it's covered with sheet wrinkles." I gave him a wry look and stretched to get the cricks out of my joints.

"Feeling better?" I yawned loudly snapping my mouth closed scanning for a reaction.

"Much better now that you're near." Jasper pulled at my shirt, actually the borrowed scrub top and pulled me in for a lingering kiss that grew ever more heated. "Come lie with me for a minute."

"I don't want to hurt you babe and I don't want to be caught by one of the nurses, either." I wiggled my eyebrows at him.

"Just for a second E, I need to feel you." He whispered crooning and kissing up my neck. I couldn't resist Jasper's pleas so I crawled up on the bed careful not to jostle him too much and we lay face to face as he pulled my hips in towards his. He winced and I pulled away.

"Are you okay?"

"Fuck, I keep forgetting how banged up I am."

I was again standing beside the bed as a nurse I hadn't seen before entered to check his vitals. I moved back to give her room looking at his careworn expression. He never took his eyes off of me the entire time she examined him. Once the nurse left after a few words with Jasper and another dose of medication I returned to his side taking his hand in mine.

"I want to get out of here ASAP, Edward. The place creeps me out." His anxiety was palpable. "I just want to be with you." He tried to sit up and cringed in pain.

"Stop trying to move Jas, you need to heal."

"I'll heal better at home, take me home, Edward." He demanded. I was stunned to see the sudden change in his mood from the overly affectionate Jasper of a few minutes ago to the stormy petulant creature I was facing now.

"Let's see what the doctor thinks when he checks you today, okay?" I leaned in and kissed his cheek brushing the hair back off of his pouty face trying to soothe him. Jasper was droopy-eyed once again so I guided him back down to a reclining position. Soon he was asleep as result of the medication.

It was still very early and I wondered whether Clete was up yet. I left Jasper asleep and ventured down to the waiting room finding it empty. I figured he must have gone to the cafeteria and since I was in need of coffee headed there hoping to find him.

Clete was hunched over a table clutching his coffee.

"Clete, I was hoping to find you here. We need to talk."

"Get yourself some coffee and come sit."

I made myself a cup and grabbed a bagel for good measure. I was starving. I made my way back to his table and sunk down across from him.

I started in but he interrupted me.

"Edward, I just got off the phone with your Dad. The fucker we caught is singing like a canary."

"That's a relief." I sighed thinking about the shit this next week was going to be.

"A lot of pressure is going to be brought to bear to demand that the DA's office prosecute Mike Newton and this Embry guy and also name Volturi Partners and Jason Electronics. These assholes are going to fight back hard because their backs are to the wall."

A sense of urgency welled up as I realized I needed to talk to Claire as soon as possible along with her parents. I didn't want those vultures getting close enough to try and intimidate her in her fragile state. With a jolt I realized I would have to leave Jasper for a while. What a fucking mess!

"I need to talk about Jasper, Clete." I stopped him so I could say my piece. "Jasper is not doing well. He seems very confused and anxious which is probably due to the concussion. Worse, he wants out of the hospital but he can barely move without pain. I told him we needed to talk to the doc first." I pulled at my hair.

"The thing of it is, I have to get to Claire immediately based on what you've told me. Jasper has not done well when I've left his side so I don't want to be gone too long. He's sleeping now." Clete grabbed my arm.

"You are such a good man Edward." His voice broke. "I can take care of my son while you deal with the Claire situation. I'll try and explain so he doesn't get too upset. Rosalie is on her way over so we'll keep him occupied once he wakes." He pulled me into a man hug.

"Go get the shit taken care of. Call your Dad too, okay? He's anxious to hear from you."

I left the hospital still in the borrowed scrubs reminding myself to retrieve the clothing I'd left behind. I'd forgotten where I parked so I held my key up and clicked until I heard the returning beep. As soon as I was ensconced in my car I dashed home for a quick shower shave and change of clothes.

The red light on my landline was blinking and caught my attention as I walked into my bedroom toweling off my hair as I did. It was unusual for me to get messages on this phone because most people left them on my cell. I depressed the message button and walked towards my bureau in search of clothing anxious to get going. I froze when I heard the pleading voice.

"Edward, it's your mom. Um, please call me when you get this message." I heard sniffles and in a broken voice she continued, "I'm so sorry for what I put you through and what Tanya did was…oh, I'm so broken up by this. Please let me make this right. Call me Edward, I miss you."

Pissed off does not even begin to describe the rage I was trying to contain. Oh now she wants to forgive and forget? I don't think so. I hit the delete button almost breaking the message machine with the force I applied. Eventually we might reconcile but not anytime in the near future, I had way too much anger and resentment held deeply within and no desire to lash out to hurt her unlike how she hurt me. In time we might be okay but it would never be the same.

I quickly dressed and grabbed my laptop rushing to get over to the Richards' home. I remembered the flash drive still nestled in the pocket of my jacket slung over the back of the kitchen chair retrieved it and left my place locking the door behind me.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

**Jasper**

_My head ached and my body was wracked in pain. The stench buried deep in my nostrils caused me to gag repeatedly. My only hope was Edward. He'll come for me. Suddenly the barn door flew open and the ogres approached me, I assumed they were ogres, as I could not make out features._

"_You'll never see him again. You belong to us now."_

"_He's dead, we killed him." A vicious cackle escaped from one of them._

"_No-o-o" I whimpered. I needed Edward to survive. Every time I tried to move the pain slashed through my body keeping me breathless. I had to get away but they held me down, binding my arms and legs as I kicked and screeched for Edward to find me._

"_Jasper", they croaked, "keep still"_

"_Like hell" I responded giving a good kick. Ouch!_

"_Jasper you're going to hurt yourself"_

_I felt a sting on my arm. Once again they overpowered me keeping me from my love. My arms and legs grew heavy as I fought a losing battle to escape. A thick, velvet blackness blanketed me as voices called to me, Edward is on his way…_

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

**Edward**

Charlie and Renee greeted me almost as soon as I rang the doorbell. Claire was nowhere in sight. They ushered me in to the living room and I sat in my usual spot on the sofa. I had called ahead of my arrival and spoke to Charlie explaining the urgency and my need to speak to Claire.

"Have you received any calls from opposing counsel?" I inquired of Charlie as Renee fluttered about putting refreshments before us.

"None from Volturi but a representative of Jason Electronics called this morning asking to speak to Claire. I refused and hung up."

"That was a smart move Charlie, let me fill you in on the events of the past few days…"

Charlie was as inflamed as me but ready to follow the plan I laid out. The idea was to minimize any exposure Claire would have to the situation but we were going to bleed Jason Electronics dry. Not only our lawsuit, I wanted them out of business. Sorry shareholders but that sometimes happens when you side with evil.

As we talked and plotted our course I felt a small presence at my right side. I glanced over only to find Caleb looking up at me with his huge sapphire eyes cradling a blanket in one hand and a well-worn teddy bear in the other. In a flash I was reminded of Jasper. Caleb was in need of comfort. My chest ached anxious to return to Jasper. Something told me to get back to him soon.

"Hi little stuff how've you been?" His eyes grew wide.

"E-ward." Caleb handed me his blanket as he placed his precious teddy on the couch and clambered up on the couch next to me, holding my gaze much as Jasper had in the hospital. A huge lump formed in my throat and I had to look down for a moment to avoid the tears that were threatening to fall. When once again I looked up I realized Renee and Charlie had been similarly affected.

Caleb, I sighed internally, the son born following Claire and David's tragedy, a little boy lost.

Caleb aligned his slight body next to me and retrieved his blanket from my hands and cuddled up to his teddy. He leaned into me snuggling as another presence caught my eye. Claire.

Like a sylph she descended, barely there but beautiful. She, for once, was serene not wracked with pain and guilt. Claire sat lightly next to Caleb carelessly ruffling his tawny locks. It was the only interaction I'd ever observed her engage in with her son. I took it as a positive sign.

"What brings you here Edward, Dad said it was urgent." Her voice was so quiet and soft distracted and uninvolved. I was used to her demeanor but felt the need to keep her informed regardless of how little she cared. In some respects, she died along with David and Bree. The money meant nothing to her.

I could relate but my sense of vengeance wanted to end the fuckers who destroyed her life. I would be content only then and she would finally have some peace. I would not allow them to touch her and cause her any unhappiness. She had suffered enough. This to me was the reason I engaged in the profession of law, what gave me great satisfaction.

"Our opponents made a grave error in judgment which I believe will cause them to concede the case."

"Oh?"

"The only thing I ask Claire is that you take no calls from opposing counsel or the plaintiff, Jason Electronics. If all goes well they will settle and all of this mess will go away."

"Can you set up a trust Edward assuming all goes well and leave all of the proceeds which you might obtain to Caleb less your fee, of course?"

"I'm more than happy to set the wheels in motion but are you sure you want all of the proceeds in the trust?"

"I'm certain." For the first time in as long as I can remember Claire smiled brightly.

"Well, if there's nothing else I'll leave you in my parent's care." She leaned in and lightly kissed my cheek. "Thank-you for everything, Edward, you are a Godsend" She whispered. "Oh, and Caleb certainly has taken a shine to you!" Her eyes twinkled and smiled down at the little boy cuddled up next to me. With that she floated back upstairs leaving me with Caleb and her parents.

"Well!" Charlie huffed. "That went much better than I expected. I haven't seen her that happy in a long time."

Caleb by now had settled himself in my lap clinging to his teddy sound asleep. His blanket was now wrapped around my shoulders. When did that happen? His thumb was deep in his mouth and he had drifted asleep against my chest. I patted his little back at a loss as to what to do.

"I need to get back to Jasper." I whispered to Charlie anxious to get going. He chuckled at the sight of his grandson clinging to me like a spider monkey.

"I'll get him, Edward." He stood and pried little Caleb off of me.

An intense cry escaped Caleb but all I heard was Jasper's wail. "E-ward" Caleb cried as Charlie tried in vain to disentangle his grandson from my person.

"I'll be back, Caleb, I'll see you soon sweetheart." I kissed the top of his head and raced away, torn by his need reflected in me as Jasper's. I had to get back to my love. I sensed all was not well.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

**Jasper**

"I need to get the fuck out of here now!" I growled, but they looked at me as if I were an incompetent. Rosalie and my father kept grabbing at me. I was about to punch my sister in the face when Edward rushed into my room. I was furious. "You said you wouldn't leave yet the first chance you got you were off! Why?" Rosalie grabbed Edward's arm to keep him from approaching me.

"Jasper cut the shit." This from my sister, know it all. "I'm taking you home as soon as the doctor clears you to leave."

"I'm not going anywhere with you." I spat at her. I crawled back to the corner of my bed as I watched her push Edward out of the room shouting at him. Why? I was left alone with my Dad.

"I am not leaving here without Edward so you better talk to Rosalie and set her straight!"

"She is on a mission and I can't talk sense into her, son." My dad responded.

"Well go help Edward now!" I shrieked. "I need him to take me home." Clete went out into the fray leaving me alone. Where was my Edward?

Angela, the night nurse must have just come on duty and she was a force to be reckoned with. There was a lot of yelling and then everything went quiet.

My door slapped open with force and Angela and Dr. Gerandy entered. Behind them I spied a collection of people most notably Edward looking particularly anxious and Rosalie, afire with indignation.

"Hello Jasper," Dr. Gerandy intoned. "I'm going to examine you as it seems there are a number of parties anxious to take you under their care. My personal opinion is that you are in no shape to leave the hospital for at least two more days. In addition, I require you to designate one particular party to represent you…"

"It's Edward. Anyone else can go fuck themselves."

"Just so you know, Edward agrees with me that you need to remain another two days. Having observed the emotional scene created by your family members how would you like me to respond?"

"It's still Edward. I trust he knows what's best for me." I was so tired of the drama Rosalie subjected me to; you would think she was the injured party.

"I want to talk to my sister for a moment. Can you call her in?"

"I will after I examine you." Dr. Gerandy responded. "Please lay back on the bed so can check your vitals.

"Jasper, over all you are progressing but I'm concerned about the stress surrounding you should you leave the hospital. Can you trust my advice as well as that of Edward and allow us the time to let you heal?"

"I trust Edward so yes, I'll follow your advice as long as Edward agrees with it. I need to talk to Rosalie now." My anger at her presumptuousness was seething just below the surface. I tried to keep it in check as I could feel the muscles in my back contract in excruciating pain whenever I thought of her.

Dr. Gerandy departed and before the door could swing closed the force that was my sister, Rosalie, pushed the door open and marched in affronted.

Her eyes were ablaze as if she personally had been assaulted and held captive. "Jasper," she hissed. "I'm so pissed at you for not letting us do what's best for you. Did you know you almost hit me when you were moaning for Edward in your sleep?"

"I'm sorry I missed" I glared at her.

"You have no idea what is best for me, Rosalie, just what's best for you! Have you talked to Dad at all, do you even have a clue what Edward and I have been through? What does Emmett think? I can't believe he agrees with you."

"Yeah, you think Edward is all that well let me tell you, from what I've heard from Jacob…"

"Oh, the word according to Jacob" I said sarcastically. "Doesn't matter, sis because it's all a lie." I had just about enough. "Please leave now. I want to speak to Edward. Alone!" She huffed off, I'm sure full of tears but frankly I was tired of being manipulated. The only one who truly had my best interests at heart was Edward.

I leaned my head back but as I did I remembered the tender spot at the back of my head. "Ouch"

"Hey sweetness." There he was, his beautiful face aglow with love for me. How could I possibly want anyone but him?

He enveloped me in his love, caressing my cheek, kissing my mouth until I was sick with want.

"Edward," I moaned between kisses " take me home."

"I will, angel, when the time is right." He wrapped his arms carefully around me whispering endearments.

"I'm sorry I had to leave. I needed to see Claire about the lawsuit and I needed to do it today." He sighed into my neck.

"I know darling, I was selfish."

"Can you stay in the hospital a few more days? I promise that I'll be here with you I just want you well. Your mom is flying in and um, my mom I guess has had a change of heart and that scares me…" he stuttered over his words. I hadn't seen Mom in at least a year and I sure would _**love**_ to give Esme an earful!

"I'll do as you wish, E but next time trust me enough to tell me when you have to go."

"I will angel, I will."

**Well, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. No smexing lately but that's a coming in the next chapter or two... **


	26. Chapter 26

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing of twilight. Only the story idea is mine. Thanks for your reviews. I truly appreciate each and every one! I am working on the Ed Senior and Clete outtake but I don't necessarily want to disturb the flow of this story. Should I post separately as a Blind Faith out take or should I post as an epilogue?**_

**Blind Faith**

**Chapter 26**

**Jasper**

"_Can you stay in the hospital a few more days? I promise that I'll be here with you I just want you well. Your mom is flying in and um, my uh mother I guess, has had a change of heart and that scares me…" he stuttered over his words. I hadn't seen Mom in at least a year and I sure would __**love**__ to give Esme an earful!_

"_I'll do as you wish, E but next time trust me enough to tell me when you have to go."_

"_I will angel, I will"._

Edward was nowhere to be found when I awoke despite his promise to keep me informed about his comings and goings. He needs to understand how vital this is to me. Without him, I would be dead. Without him I cannot survive. I stewed frustrated to be lying in this stupid hospital bed alone.

The toilet flushed and after a moment Edward exited. Jesus, I can't even let the guy take a piss without freaking out, what's happening to me?

"Hey, you're up" he smiled brightly. God, he was such a vision and he loved me! His broad arms encircled me in a gentle hug ever careful to avoid causing me pain. My ribs were still taped due to the heavy bruising but fortunately no breaks. It hurt if I twisted my body or made a sudden movement but that would pass soon. I turned my head to capture his mouth. I wanted to kiss him like this every second of the day.

Edward pulled back and sat on the edge of the bed regarding me, sensing my edginess. "I want to get out of this bed and take a walk but not in this idiotic hospital gown." I snapped.

"I've got clothes for you in my car. Do you want me to get them? Maybe we can talk the nurses into letting you wear a pair of sweats instead, I mean you're mobile right?" he said conspiratorially ever patient and always thinking ahead; that was my Edward.

"Shit yes, I'll take a shower while you're gone. Wait, I can't shower without you."

"Of course you can" he started but I held my hand up.

"No, it's too small of a space for me to be alone, I can't do it" I huffed feeling like a fool.

"Baby…"

"Go get the clothes, I'll wait for you to get back." I was jittery at the thought of him leaving me alone. "Hurry please."

"Of course" he said patiently. I watched him walk to the door where he paused and looked back at me brushing his fingers through his bronze locks. I caught his worried glance before he hid it behind a sweet smile.

"Be back in a flash." The door swung shut behind him and immediately opened as the elderly volunteer brought in my breakfast tray.

My meal consisted of oatmeal, wheat toast, the weakest coffee ever and orange juice. Lovely, does that even qualify as food? What I wouldn't give for a huge plate of sausage and eggs, a stack of pancakes slathered in syrup and a latte. I thank God I'm only here two more days or I'd starve to death! Regardless, I polished off everything before Edward returned.

Where is he?

I was no longer tethered to an IV so was able to move freely about the room. I went to the window on the off chance I might see my hero returning to me. Parting the blinds with one hand I got an eyeful, much more than I bargained for.

Rosalie, Alice and Jacob were arrayed around Edward engaged in a heated argument. I imagine this is a continuation of yesterday's debacle wherein Rosalie insisted that she would be nursing me back to health. I wish I could hear what they were arguing about, Edward plainly was unhappy and I hated seeing my boy that way.

I was confused by Rosalie's behavior I took from what little Edward had said the other night that they'd made up and that she had apologized for being so rotten to him. It sure didn't look that way to me.

Curious as hell I cautiously opened the window to listen in letting the blinds fall closed so they would be none the wiser.

"Why are you trying to keep us apart?" Rosalie accused Edward.

"I'm not, it's just you seem to be doing everything in your power to drive a wedge between us as if you hate me." I recognized Edward's frustrated tone, trying to be patient but clearly irritated.

"You're not good for him" how wrong Jacob was.

"Shut up Jake, this is between family." Edward growled.

"You are not his family" Rose shouted.

Oh, yes he is! I wanted to scream. What is wrong with them?

"You are isolating Jasper keeping him away from us". You're kidding, right? I was beyond shocked at their assumption.

"You are so wrong about that Rose. Who is filling your head full of this shit? I'm still trying to figure out why you are so fucking hostile today. I mean a few days ago you were crying on my shoulder for forgiveness. You know what? I don't care what you have to say. You are free to see Jasper any time you want. I haven't refused you once, in fact I don't even have that level of control. Someone is twisting your thinking and if my suspicions are right…"

Alice screeched, "Jasper needs us now."

"Of course he does," Edward tried to reason with them. "Go on up, I'll stay away and you can visit. You don't need my permission. After all," he growled sarcastically but I could feel his pain, "I'm not family." He turned on his heel and walked towards his car.

Why the fuck were they messing with the man who saved my life? My love. Were they really that selfish? I am not their little prize to be won in truth, that's how they treated me by not respecting my boundaries. If they made him cry, if they pushed him away I would die.

I felt weak without him watching as they entered the building. I girded myself praying I could stay rational in their presence. I seethed with outrage at their presumption that somehow they were better for me than Edward. Their interference was such an old story by now causing the two of us immeasurable pain. Now was the time to end this shit. They couldn't know I knew about the confrontation so I shut the window and moved back to recline in the hospital bed.

A soft tap at my door signaled their arrival.

"Come in" I said weakly. I wished for an instant I was still hooked up to the IV so I could play it up for all it was worth.

Rosalie entered first rushing to my bedside followed by Alice and Jacob.

"We've been trying to see you for days."

"I just saw you yesterday Rose, what are you talking about?"

"Yeah but that was under supervision."

"Huh?"

"Edward wouldn't let you out of his sight and I couldn't talk to you openly about my suspicions."

"Are you insane Rose? I mean seriously. What suspicions?"

"I think Edward is just using you to make Tanya jealous." My mind went blank. How could my rational sister buy that little gem? There is no way to argue with insanity so I settled for understanding her reasoning, rational or not.

"Edward is not really gay and he was afraid Tanya was going to leave him for…"

"Stop right there sis, I'm feeling a little nauseous."

"I can understand, Jas." Is she serious?

Alice piped up.

"I still have the key to your place so we decided to bring in a crew to clean up the mess. It looks great, just waiting for you to move…"

"I'm not moving back in there, at least not for a while."

"He's got you brain washed" she cried out clutching at me.

"Ouch!"

"Oh, sorry!"

"I think you three are the ones who have been messed with. I'm tired and I want my Edward back. Please leave." I shut my eyes dismissing them. They exhausted me and I needed to discuss this disaster with Edward privately.

"I'll be back tomorrow." Rose said tiredly.

"Fine."

"By the way, I'm not seeing Emmett any more." I restrained my surprise.

I didn't respond and listened as their heels clacked out of my room.

There was some sort of discussion outside in the hall but I was too emotionally drained to take it in.

"Edward!" I yelled, sensing his presence.

My door slapped open a little more violently than I was used to but there stood my god. He dropped the bags and came to me holding me gently in his arms.

"I don't want to talk about anything right now," he sighed.

"Neither do I." He kissed me and placed his forehead against mine.

"Are you still in need of a shower?" His mouth kissed along my neck ending behind my ear.

"Oh, yeah."

.-.-.-.-.-.-.

**I'd rather be a comma than a full stop. (Coldplay) **Love that line. Now back to the story…

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

We both stood together in the small bath full of ardor. I love Edward and he loves me. The rest of this shit we've been dealing with is just annoying. I lifted my arms so he could remove the tape from my body until I stood before him naked. It took him a while because I kept kissing his silly face and he was giggling like a schoolgirl.

My boy is no schoolgirl. He was the epitome of masculinity, my angel, my god and my man. We stared at each other tracing hands down our bodies, he more gently than me. I wanted him more than life itself.

Edward turned the shower on then disrobed displaying his glorious body.

"I hope no one checks on us for a bit" he whispered devilishly. "I plan on adoring every bit of you."

I admired his swollen member lightly brushing against my thigh as he guided me under the warm water. My belly was tight with desire for him as full and as hard as he was and he was being so very careful with me. I wanted to cry out my love it was so hard to contain. I wanted no one but Edward. Days ago, it seemed like years, I floundered over my desire to commit to him. What was my problem? It seems to pale to insignificance. Today my head was clear. There was only him.

We turned towards each other kissing deeply as only partners can do, no shame, no shyness only devotion. He drew his arms down slowly until he cupped my ass pulling me against his cock.

"I'm going to wash you baby." Edward sighed, took the body wash and soaked the washcloth rubbing it to bring up the suds.

"I love you." He passed the cloth over my body slowly, reverently. Our passion would have to wait for a more appropriate venue but his love almost brought me to my knees.

"You are my family Edward." I needed to say it although he might not know why. He hummed grasping onto me.

I leaned into him nuzzling his neck as he carefully washed my back trailing down to my ass and my swollen junk.

He knelt down before my and lifted my leg to rest on his knee cleaning my foot trailing the cloth up my leg before he switched off and raised my other leg repeating the process. He may as well have me strapped, restrained positioned to have him take me in every way possible. Instead, he kissed my cock, licking up my length before taking me deeply in his mouth. I gasped at the intense pleasure. His fingers explored my balls and teased my entrance until he pushed one finger in causing me to explode in his mouth.

"Oh, Edward you are just so, ugh, perfect." My chest heaved as I strained to catch my breath. I felt a twinge in my ribcage but I'd be goddamned before I let him feel bad about that.

"I haven't washed your hair yet, Jasper," he whispered softly. "Turn around so I can see your stitches." I obeyed his command on rubbery legs still feeling the effects of a mighty orgasm. His deft fingers massaged shampoo into my hair probably the best cleansing I'd had for days. Besides, his hands made me weak. I wanted to purr but really? He rinsed me clean and then attended to himself. I wanted to reciprocate but I realized he wanted to cut our time short anticipating visitors.

"Go towel off and check to see if there's anyone in the room." I did as he requested and came face to face with my mom.

"Hey!" I squeaked. I only had my towel covering my dignity but my dear mother didn't seem to care. She came at me crying and grabbing my face.

"How are you doing baby? Daddy is parking the car and will be right up." Thank heaven my dad would be here. I wondered how much Rosalie had been bending her ear. I guess we would know in a few minutes when Edward appears out of my bathroom.

"Mom, I'm as good as can be under the circumstances, still a bit sore but getting better. See?" I turned so she could see the bruises on my body, as I hadn't re-taped yet. The bruise on my face was about gone and I showed her the head wound, which by this point appeared pretty innocuous.

"Let me get my clothes and get dressed. I'm avoiding the hospital gown as of right now," I declared garnering a smile from her. I grabbed both bags and hightailed it back to the bathroom.

"My mom is here!" I hissed as Edward toweled off appearing unconcerned. His green eyes rolled up to meet mine.

"No one will pull us apart unless we do it ourselves, baby." He toweled his hair and took his bag pulling out his toothbrush of all things. I don't think he was referring to my mom. He was unaware that I was privy to the argument he had with Rose, et al. It was clearly on his mind.

"No one can, Edward. It's too late for that." I smiled at him and he seemed grateful for the assurance.

I pulled on a pair of briefs; after all, my mom was in the next room, followed by a pair of well-worn jeans and a long sleeved t-shirt.

"Wait Jasper, I need to tape you up before you put your shirt on." Edward leaned in, half-dressed himself and pecked my lips. "Turn." He stood behind me with the roll of tape and put his arms around me.

"No matter what happens, I'm yours." His breathing stuttered and I realized as stoic as he was trying to be with me he feared the forces arrayed against us.

" And I am yours, Edward, never doubt that." I raised my arms so he could wrap my ribcage securely. I pulled my shirt over my head, pausing to for the first time in ages to consider what Edward had been through. I watched as he carefully dressed himself but he seemed preoccupied. I was so selfish. My angel was clearly suffering along with me and I wondered who was taking care of him. Clearly, Rosalie and her minions were not, his mom, bitch that she was cared only for herself. Emmett was questionable. Other than Edward Senior, it looked like my boy was on his own and yet he was so strong for me. I fought tears as I realized how self-indulgent I had been. It had to be me to care for him as he had done for me. I would be his champion. I prayed I could be because I still felt so fucked up in my head.

I was so needy I gave no thought to his suffering and he was suffering. My own family and so-called friends assaulted him disregarding that he had saved my life. If I were Edward I would have given up long ago. When do I stand up for him? No one else has and Edward is my future.

"Are you ready to meet my mom?" I laced my fingers with his. He was surprised by my action.

"Jasper, are you sure about that, I mean Rosalie and she must talk,"

"I don't care. Rose is full of shit." I ruffled his bronze locks and kissed his sweet mouth.

"It's you and me kid, all the way." I winked my bruised eye causing him to laugh and gripped his hand tightly. The two of us together went out to meet the onslaught.

I was happy to see my Dad but unfortunately Rosalie decided to join as well, hanging onto my Mom, simpering some nonsense in her ear. As much as I loved my sister, right now I wanted to slap her and her interfering ways.

"So I thought we'd go for a family dinner after Jasper gets out of the hospital tomorrow," she piped up clearly meaning to exclude Edward.

I was not going to allow her to set the agenda. Problem was, I was weak from the shit I'd been through. She was so much stronger and I still wondered at her foolish agenda.

"I'm sure that includes Emmett. If this is a family dinner, I'm sure Edward would want his brother here as well, maybe we should include Ed Senior and Victoria." Rosalie was not expecting that.

"Great idea, Jasper." Clete eyeballed Edward as he dialed up his brother.

"I'll call him Jas, I'm sure they'd _**love**_ to be there." Edward got my cue. Oh, sis, you are so out of your league.

"Dad, can we talk for a minute?" I pleaded at him with my eyes trying not to draw attention.

"Yeah. " We walked out and sat in the hallway.

"So what the fuck, son? Why is Rosalie freaking out?"

"She has some strange idea that Edward is cheating on his former fiancée with me to make her jealous and that he's not really gay. It's sick. But even if that weren't out there, I don't think she wants me with Edward because of how we met which I agree was kind of weird. She doesn't trust him."

"Oh, now she wants to play Florence Nightingale?" Clete scrubbed his face trying to figure out his daughter.

"I'd say yes but she's got other reasons to try and separate us. She was dating Emmett but they broke up a few days ago. I not sure why but given circumstances it probably has to do with our situation. Emmett hasn't really been there much for Edward either, throughout all the crap his family put him through. Maybe he's seen the light."

"That sucks."

"Someone is messing with Rose and it might be Tanya. After all Tanya did get Esme all up in a bunch turning her away from Edward. What gets me is he's done so much for me and pretty much always has always been a stand up guy for his family." I was lost in thought realizing we hadn't heard from Edward's dad in a while.

"Where's Ed Senior? I haven't seen him since I've been here. My boy needs him."

"He's working the case, in his glory as if he were a first year intern. I'm certain he'll call Edward very soon."

"Dad, Edward and I are going to need to take a break after all this shit. We can't do this anymore." I bent forward tired of the strings others were trying to yank.

"Edward will pull us through the settlement negotiations but I feel like a pawn rather than an attorney given the fuckery we've been through."

"Maybe that was their intent, Jasper, to wear you down and make both you and Edward feel like ineffective counsel. You know that is a pretty common tactic. Think about that."

Of course, why didn't it occur to me, I needed to get to Edward STAT.

Just then my Mom accompanied by Rosalie and Alice traipsed in. Would she be as easily taken in? I gave my Dad a hard look begging him to listen to the shit I was certain to hear from Rosalie and Alice.

"Where's Edward?" I asked not seeing him in the room.

"Emmett called and Edward's on the phone talking to him." My mom supplied.

"That's great!" I enthused noting the lack of excitement from my sister and Alice. Judging by the look on Mom's face she wasn't buying Rosalie's crap either.

"Well I for one am starving and can't wait for tomorrow night. I'll settle for the cafeteria right now. Clete are you coming? Rose and Alice, please come too."

"I'll be right there Lillian. I just want a brief word with Jasper about the case."

I couldn't stand being near Rose and her minions any longer so I strolled outside my room deciding to sit on a chair in the hallway until my boy finished his call.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Dad plunked himself down next to me as I watched Edward, head down, talking into his phone far down the hallway.

"Hey son, I'm not sure what is going on with your sister but I'm hoping your mom can set her straight. This has gone on long enough. I don't want you to worry about it anymore."

"I'm trying, Dad but she is just so awful to Edward."

"Well enough of that. We need to refocus on the Jason Electronics case. Ed Senior thinks there is the potential for a huge settlement for the Richards family. They've got Matthews down at police headquarters taking a statement from him even as we speak. Apparently he's been implicated by those other two goofs. In any case, the judge has called for all parties to be in his courtroom tomorrow at 2:00PM. Do you think you can get checked out of here by noon?"

My reaction was instantaneous. I felt a panic grip me at the thought of being in court exposed, vulnerable to attack. I couldn't do it.

"I can't be there Dad but Edward will." My breathing accelerated and I sought out Edward's comfort. I couldn't find him immediately increasing my anxiety.

"Jasper, what's going on? Are you okay?" I could feel my Dad growing increasingly upset as he grasped my hand trying to calm me.

"Edward?" I didn't actually shout but there must have been some urgency in the tone of my voice that he heard because instantly I saw him peek out from behind a large food cart and walk rapidly back to me. He was still on the phone but signed off hastily snapping it shut and pocketing it. He slowed as he approached me smiling crookedly.

"Hey, you." He said softly. Without another word Edward sat down putting an arm around me. I was instantly at ease.

"Clete, it's good to see you again. Did you talk to Dad?" he inquired. Edward rubbed my shoulder gently and pulled me closer.

"Yeah I was just bringing Jasper up to speed. The judge wants counsel in court by two PM sharp tomorrow." Dad looked searchingly at me trying to get a read on my mood. I know my anxiety was upsetting to him.

"I don't think I can do it, seeing them again and being reminded of that place, how vulnerable I felt," I shuddered involuntarily.

"Don't worry," Edward said. "It's probably just the attorneys but I'll check and make sure." He hesitated and spoke quietly, "They are going to have to ask you questions about what happened, Jasper, there's no getting around it. If it's really getting to you I think that Dr. Gerandy would be more than happy to prescribe some medication for the short term. It might help."

I conceded that he was right. Despite my aversion to medication, I clearly needed help if I couldn't be away from Edward for more than a few minutes without losing my shit.

"Okay," I sighed. I'll talk to the Doc tonight."

"Good for you Jasper." Dad agreed.

We circled our chairs and continued our conversation about the next day's court appearance. Edward did most of the talking. After speaking to Emmett, Edward indicated that Felix called giving him an update on what he and his guys had dug up connecting Jason Electronics and the thug Embry Call. Apparently this wasn't Embry's first "dirty" job on their behalf. Felix had concluded there was more than enough incrimination information to keep the Richards case from going to trial thereby saving Claire from having to testify. We all felt a great sense of victory and I, for one had a greater sympathy for Claire given what I had been through and the emotional turmoil that resulted.

"I'm going to insist the DA press criminal charges against Volturi Partners and Jason Electronics. This type of case is virtually impossible to win but I want to slime them as much and as publicly as possible. They will pay through the nose because we already know they want to settle.

I'll be there with you, Jasper so you don't have to worry. I venture to guess there will not be much push back." Edward is so good at his job, it's thrilling when he gets that glint in his eye and goes in for the kill. Oh yeah, these fuckers are going down!

.-.-.-.-.-.-.

After our little conclave Mom and the "others" returned from the lunch in the cafeteria we never attended. Seeing us huddled talking business they retreated to my hospital room. Truth be told, I wanted out tonight but I was not about to let the harpies know. As far as I was concerned I was not spending another night in this place. All I had to do is to get Edward and the Doc to go along. Dad would be no problem. I had a solid argument that I'm sure would win them over. I am healed.

"Emmett's on his way over, " Edward called over to me. Certainly this was not to be missed by "them" who had commandeered my room. We figured the only way to clear "them" out was to take his name in vain. Emmett actually wasn't coming over but it worked.

Rosalie and Alice strutted out eyeballing us in all their righteous indignation however misled. Mom followed rolling her eyes.

"I'll be back tomorrow Jasper. Maybe we'll get a chance to talk…privately." Rose huffed as if she were the injured party. Yeah, like I was looking forward to that, uh huh. Rather than tell a lie I merely grunted. After all, I was a dude.

"Bye, don't let the door hit you in the ass" Edward hissed under his breath. Immature, yes; well deserved, certainly. We cackled like idiots as they departed. As I said we are immature.

My mom leaned over and pinched my arm as we watched them depart.

"Ouch, Mom!"

"Listen buddy I am on your side but don't make things worse by making snide remarks. She's very upset about the breakup with Emmett and hopefully she will pull her head out of her ass sooner rather than later."

"Mom! I've never heard you use such language. I should be outraged." My Dad by now had fallen off his chair in hysterics. Edward was looking at me in wonder.

"Shut it Jasper." She patted her hair down and winked at me trying to suppress a smile.

I calmed down at her admonishment and remembered my mission.

"Edward, I want out tonight. When does the Doc make rounds?"

**Hope you liked this. I'm a bit conflicted because I upped the Rosalie is a bitch quotient but she just can't let go. Jasper finally is recognizing he's been deeply affected by his captivity and Edward is starting to feel everyone's stress pile up on him but trying to hold it together. He's got the case to focus on as well. Let me know what you think!**


	27. Chapter 27

**Hopefully you're still hanging with this story. I plan about five more chapters then two epilogues, one the promised Ed Senior and Clete outtake. **

**Blind Faith**

**Chapter 27**

**Edward**

"_Edward, I want out tonight. When does the Doc make rounds?_

I was so worried about Jasper's state of mind whether he was truly ready to leave the hospital environment. Physically yes, he was ready but given his wildly erratic emotional reactions to my absences I feared we might be doing him a disservice by not suggesting medication for the short term. He had been through a kind of hell I hoped never to experience.

I was ecstatic when he agreed to discuss medication with Dr. Gerandy but now he insisted he wanted to be released from the hospital tonight. Technically I could not find fault with his desire and truthfully I wanted him back in my bed. My concern was whether this was best for him.

"Jasper, Dr. Gerandy should be by shortly. Let's talk through the options with him." I stroked his long blonde locks now loosed around his shoulders. He'd been wearing it in a ponytail to better camouflage his head wound, which was well concealed. His stitches would likely be out soon. Jasper hadn't shaved in days. Golden stubble covered his chin and cheeks. I loved the feel of it against my skin although we hadn't had much time alone for me to nuzzle up against his face. All the more reason for us to leave so we could gain a little privacy.

Jasper looked even more beautiful to me. I sensed that he was changed by his experience; how this change would express itself I didn't know but I prayed he would quickly recover his sense of independence and self-confidence.

Clete and Lillian said their goodbyes hugging us both. Now that Jasper seemed to be faring well they decided to depart for their hotel. Lillian would fly home tomorrow but Clete planned to stay until after the court hearing.

My phone vibrated in my pocket and I jumped a little digging in to retrieve it. I sat on the bed next to Jasper as I answered the call without checking the ID.

"Hello"

"Edward, it's your Mom." I could hear the hesitance in her voice, I was equally taken aback to be hearing from her, surprised she was calling. I decided to be polite but distant. I mouthed "mom" to Jasper whose eyes grew wide grasping my hand and twining our fingers together for comfort and support.

"Hi," I said without emotion, letting her make the first move.

"I was calling to find out how you were doing and to invite you to dinner this Saturday." I knew this must be hard for Mom having been the one who essentially exiled me from the family home without allowing for a discussion or considering my feelings.

"Why now?" I was curious at the sudden change. Not a word from her over these past few months other than the one phone message a couple of days ago.

"Well I feel badly Edward you must know that, about the whole misunderstanding. I want things to be like they were; you are such a nice boy." Ah, I was wary now, there seemed to be a hidden agenda.

"I haven't changed much, Mom, I'm still a good person at least I try to be." I rolled my eyes at Jasper trying to keep the hurt at bay. As much as I wanted to lash out it would likely prove to cause more harm than good.

"I miss you so much. Will you come?"

"Is Jasper invited as well?" Somehow I doubted it. We held a silent conversation with our eyes awaiting Mom's response. She hedged.

"I thought it should just be family just so we could re-acquaint ourselves; say what needs to be said…" I wondered what needed to be said out of Jasper's hearing.

"Who else will be there?" I guess I was a masochist. I already knew the answer.

"It will be Carlisle of course and Emmett and um, Rosalie." Huh, when did they get back together, did they ever really break up? I need to call Emmett and find out what the hell is going on because my head is spinning. Just yesterday Rosalie said they'd split but Emmett hadn't said a word; I hadn't had a chance to talk to him. So she's family but Jasper is not? I could smell the sharks circling. I decided not to play.

"Unfortunately _**Mom**_, it turns out Jasper and I have plans that we can't change, maybe another time." I said this with a slight smirk. Jasper arched his eyebrows in question. I mouthed "diner" causing him to smile broadly.

"I'm so disappointed, Edward. Our family has not been the same without you." And whose fault is that? I was getting a weird sense of satisfaction during this conversation knowing I had moved past the anger but she was still trying to control me.

"Well I guess you'll just have to learn to live with disappointment then. I've really got to go. Jasper is being released from the hospital today and I need to see to him." I grinned back at Jasper.

"Talk to you soon. Give my regards to everyone and, oh, just so you know. Jasper _**is**_ family." I couldn't hold back any longer.

He flopped back on the bed lying down as I concluded my call and I rolled partially over onto his stretched out body.

"Wow Edward, you handled that very diplomatically." He kissed my nose.

"Yup, I agree." I nodded a few times trying to find my voice my chest tightening. Sadness came in a sudden and unexpected wave. A tear managed its way out brushed away by Jasper who pulled me close.

"It'll be okay, babe, just give it time." I allowed myself the luxury of a few sniffles.

"I really do love my Mom, you know, despite everything." I mumbled into his neck. He remained silent as I got my act together comforting me. It actually felt nice to be cared for by Jasper.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

After our emotional bonding moment we straightened up the hospital room gathering our bags and tidying up by disposing of fast food bags and empty soda bottles as they were against regulations.

A knock on the door signaled Dr. Gerandy's arrival. Jasper called out for him to enter. With trepidation we watched him enter and sit in a stool across from the two of us perched on the hospital bed. A call came in distracting the lot of us. After a few "Uh Hum's" and "Will Do's", he rolled himself towards a set of files containing Jasper's chart. He popped his laptop open placing it on a small table. He sent an e-mail requesting certain information then slapped his laptop shut.

**Note: 9/8/11: A terrible, terrible thing happened…I lost three thousand words because I couldn't save to my flash drive. Taught me a big lesson about auto recover. I was ready to post 9/9 but since I lost a week's work and am going to have to remember what the heck I wrote, I'm off my weekly update posting. Sorry for the self-indulgence but DAMN!**

Dr. Gerandy eyed us but his focus was on Jasper. We sat primly with our hands entwined waiting.

"Do you feel you are ready to leave Jasper?"

"Yes, I do." Jasper responded while gripping my hand tightly. He wanted out of the hospital environment chafing under their control but clearly he was deeply affected by what he'd endured and his dependence on me was an example. The "old" Jasper never clung to me.

"From what I hear, you've been battling some anxiety." I felt Jasper stiffen wondering how honest he would be with the Doc.

"I keep looking around feeling as if hands are reaching to grab me and take me away. I don't know that I could endure that again. Even though rationally I am pretty certain I'm safe I don't feel that way without Edward." Jasper glanced over anxious at my reaction. I remained stoic giving away nothing of my inner turmoil. I wanted Jasper on his terms not because of his trauma.

"You know I'll be there for you Jasper, I love you, you know that." He leans in and kisses me passionately forgetting our audience.

We pull apart embarrassed by our actions but Dr. Gerandy is unaffected.

"Jasper, I'm going to prescribe anti-anxiety medication for the next few months or until you've made arrangements with a permanent therapist." He continued.

"I'm concerned though. What about the times Edward can't be with you? What will you do then? As an attorney how soon do you think you can return to work?"

"I'm not sure. This whole experience has unsettled me. I've never experienced this level of terror in public places. It's all new to me and very unwelcome. Regardless, we do have court tomorrow so I need to be ready for that." He sighed deeply his breath shuddering. The fear rolling off him was palpable. Jasper glued himself to my side.

"I am ready though to be out of here and safely home." Jasper was very clear on that.

Dr. G wrote out a prescription for Jasper and handed it to me. He stood and shook both of our hands. "I'm satisfied that you are okay to be discharged, Jasper. Good luck to the both of you. I'm sure you'll be in good hands with Edward. Just make sure to check out with the billing office downstairs." He patted Jasper's shoulder and departed.

We looked at each other unsure as to what to do next. We were free to go. After all of the tension and anxiety of the past few days I was feeling a bit of a letdown.

My phone buzzed and I recognized Clete's ringtone.

"Hi Clete."

"Hey Edward, I have a furious Rosalie about to wring my neck. She's insisting on talking to Jasper. I warned her not to make a scene."

I watched Jasper's face curious at my conversation with his dad. Jasper's phone was evidence in the case so his only means of communication right now was through me.

"Let me hand the phone over to Jasper." I mouthed _Rosalie_ and he cringed shaking his head no. I held the phone out to him shaking it and insisting he take it. He rolled his eyes and snatched it away irritated.

"Hi Rose." A nonstop stream of indecipherable babble emanated from the handset. Jasper became increasingly agitated as he listened, just what he did not need.

"Rose…Rose…ROSE! Will you please stop! You know I love you but right now you are talking nonsense. Edward and I need a break, a few days to decompress. You and your posse are a little intense and very misled. The truth is you all need to back the hell off. If you are listening to Tanya you are making a very big mistake. As far as I'm concerned Tanya is the enemy. Talk to Dad he'll tell you."

More babble ensued at an even higher pitch.

"I'm sorry about Emmett. If you split, why are you going to Saturday dinner at Carlisle and Esme's?"

More stupid yammering issued from my phone.

"Oh, you and Esme have bonded have you? I see." His eyes met mine. We were both aflame with indignation. My stomach clenched in anger as I realized the trap they had set for me. I would be having words with my mother before the evening was over.

"Well Edward and I have plans and we won't be able to attend." Jasper winked at me. "Please hand the phone back to Dad."

"We'll leave you two to get yourselves situated and relax for a while. I'll try and talk to Rose see if she'll listen to reason." Clete clearly had enough as well. "Are you heading to your place Edward?"

"Yeah," I responded. "We have to prepare for tomorrow's hearing."

"Okay, but don't forget to get some rest. I'm meeting Ed Senior for dinner so you guys are on your own."

They left us alone once again.

Jasper leaned into me seeming a bit out of sorts. I kissed him and pulled him close.

"I don't get her. My sister has always been my biggest champion, my number one fan. Why now is she so bent on messing with my life?"

"I don't know Jasper, I'm worried about Tanya's influence. I mean look what she's done to my relationship with my Mom? Maybe it's a good thing that Rosalie and Mom have bonded."

"Maybe so, Edward."

"Let's get you dressed." I huffed finished with the discussion and ready to move on.

I leaned down and grabbed the bag containing Jasper's clothes that I'd initially planned to return to his place the night he was attacked. I sighed recalling my out of control emotions when I discovered the bloody scene.

"Hey, what are you thinking?" Jasper said into my neck.

"I'm just so glad to have you back, baby. These last few days…" I couldn't finish suddenly feeling tears gather and my chest tighten. "I love you so much." I said roughly. "The thought of what you went through just kills me."

"I'm good Edward, my sweet Sethie, thanks to you." He murmured lovingly caressing my cheek as I clung to him. "I just need some time to get my head straight."

We pulled apart and I handed him the bag.

"I've been carrying this around since that night." I confessed. "I even brought your new boots."

My admission produced a wide smile from Jasper. He dug excitedly in the bag pulling out jeans and a soft t-shirt as well as his black boots. He changed as I wandered around the room picking up stray items. Satisfied we weren't leaving a big mess behind I hazarded a glance a Jasper who by now was sitting on the floor pulling his new boots on.

Jasper gazed at me with affection but it was laced with anxiety. I grabbed his hand and pulled him up to stand. "Are you ready to head out?" I asked as I wrapped my arms around his waist to give him an encouraging jostle.

"Let's get the hell out a here!" Jasper growled. I tucked the last items into Jasper's bag and we took one last look around before leaving. I opened the door for Jasper and was met by the imposing presence of a nurse I hadn't seen before. "Hilda" her nametag announced. She was pushing a wheelchair.

"The patient is required to ride down in the wheelchair, no exceptions." Man she was tough! Jasper just rolled his eyes and plunked himself down in the seat.

"You can go and pull the car around to the entrance and meet us there." Nurse Hilda continued as she deftly maneuvered the chair out of the room while I held the door for her. I walked next to Jasper down the familiar hall towards the elevators. We were behind Hilda so I took a chance to stroke Jasper's hair feeling the bump that still remained. He leaned into my touch turning to kiss my palm. Nurse Hilda was none the wiser.

I darted out as soon as the elevator doors opened to retrieve my car while Jasper and Nurse Hilda headed to the billing office.

I paused and looked around cautiously wanting to avoid another confrontation with the three harpies. We hadn't yet told Rose and the others that Jasper was getting out for that reason. Just in case I checked to make sure the coast was clear.

I drove slowly towards the entrance until I saw Jasper and Nurse Hilda exit and pulled up to where they were waiting. I got out of the car to help Jasper settle into the passenger seat. I placed his bag in the back.

"I feel kind of silly being doted on. I mean I can walk on my own just fine." Jasper grimaced as he waved at the dour Nurse Hilda who broke into a grin and waved us on.

We drove off after I assured myself Jasper was safely buckled in. Despite his protests he was a bundle of nerves, which put me on edge as well. As we drove I remembered how empty my kitchen was and if I was going to cook I needed to stop and buy groceries. We needed to fill Jasper's prescription as well.

"I thought we would stop by the store to get your prescription filled and pick up a few groceries. I don't think we have much to eat at home." I flinched internally at the word "home" knowing that Jasper had been feeling uneasy about moving in with me so soon but that was before the attack. I liked the thought of it but was not going to push. I was going to need to watch my words carefully and not make any assumptions.

"That's fine Edward." He didn't sound fine in fact it seemed to me that he was quite the opposite. His hands were tightly intertwined white knuckled as if he was just barely holding himself together. Maybe this was too much for him.

"Jasper, I can take you home first if you'd rather and come back for the prescription." I offered.

"I'm fine, I said." He hissed at me. "Don't baby me please."

"_Sorry_" I said under my breath not wanting to agitate him further.

We parked at the store. I avoided the urge to go around and open his door not wanting him to feel inadequate. Sensing his mood I thought we'd get his prescription filled first. We walked straight to the back counter and fortunately there was no line. This meant we wouldn't have to wait long I thought with relief.

Jasper slipped a finger through the belt loop of my jeans unconsciously clinging to me. I chanced a sidelong glance at him noticing how he darted his eyes around flinching at imagined threats. I sensed he was close to losing it despite his reassurances.

The pharmacist called Jasper's name and we approached to claim his prescription. He rambled a bit explaining a few things about the meds but Jasper was lost to him. I added a bottle of water and paid practically throwing money at the poor pharmacist. I took Jasper's arm and led him out of the store foregoing the groceries for now. By this point Jasper was nearly hyperventilating slumping against the car door fumbling to get it open. I stopped his struggle by placing my hand against the frame.

"Take a pill Jasper, you'll feel better."

"Later, I just want to get home."

"Take the fucking pill!" I growled in frustration. He took it from my hand and swallowed it down with the proffered water.

"Alright, you don't have to be an ass about it." He said morosely. I ignored his comment.

I clicked the door open and he slipped into his seat. I resisted the urge to strap him in.

I got myself situated glancing covertly in his direction as he stared unseeingly out the window. Our short foray out in public had taken a lot out of him.

"I'm sorry, Sethie, I just feel so fucked up." I reached for his hand and brought it to my lips.

"It will be okay, I promise."

Jasper blew out a deep breath. The remainder of our short drive was spent in contemplative silence.

I followed him up the path to my place noticing he still favored his ankle a bit. He trudged slowly and waited silently for me to open the door.

I dropped by keys on the side table after securely locking the front door and setting the alarm.

Here we were back at my place. The tension was thick between us as we just stood and stared at each other in the entryway.

I loved him; he knew that but was it enough?

"Are you hungry?" I whispered not daring to crush the quiet between us.

"Yeah."

"Take out okay? Pizza, Chinese, Indian?"

"Pizza but get salad."

"Your wish is my command." I said. Jasper chuckled finally and seemed more at ease.

I pulled my phone out and ordered pizza and salad holding Jasper's gaze the entire time. I slapped my phone shut.

"Pizza will be here in twenty minutes." I couldn't keep my eyes off him.

"Twenty minutes" Jasper sighed walking slowly towards me.

I was in a trance caught in his eyes. He moved until his body was flush with mine.

Jasper wound his arms around my neck ghosting his lips on my neck driving me insane with desire. Finally his lips caught mine in a deep kiss. I shivered at the feeling. It seemed like it had been so long since we had just been together sexually without complications. I sunk into his embrace wanting more.

His unshaven face rubbed up against me increasing the lust I felt for him. I took a chance and pulled his hips into mine feeling his hardness grind into me. He gave a low moan and continued to assault my exposed skin with kisses and nips against my overheated flesh.

"Baby, I want you so bad." He groaned. Jasper wanted me as much as I did him. The doorbell resounded loudly across our personal bubble shattering the quiet.

"Pizza's here." I muttered, disentangling myself and pulling my wallet out as I unlocked the front door.

We sat at the kitchen table eating straight out of the boxes. Our bodies close together. I caught him gazing at me smiling almost happy. He seemed to have relaxed now that we were settled in for the evening. Maybe the meds had kicked in but here at home he was the old self-assured Jasper. He bumped my shoulder teasingly.

"Hey you, I'm going to go clean up and get the hospital taint off my skin."

"I'll clean up the kitchen." I responded kissing his cheek. We both stood and moved about to continue our domestic tasks. Part of me wanted to join him in the shower but I sensed he needed this time alone.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.

**Jasper**

I trailed upstairs so happy to be here with Edward. Whenever he was near I felt at peace.

The shower warmed as I disrobed and rid myself of the wrap around my ribs. It was constricting although necessary.

The warm water flowed over me relaxing my muscles. My thoughts wandered to Edward moving about downstairs. He was such a giving person. Did I truly deserve him? Yes, I decided we deserved each other. Each moment that passed settled in me the certainty that we were meant for each other.

I allowed the warm water to run over my skin relaxing in the shower trying to turn my mind off. Our trip to the grocery store was a nightmare for me. The unreasoning fear that I would be snatched and beaten left me unable to trust anyone but Edward to keep me safe. I caught movements in the corner of my eye but when I turned there was nothing. The raging paranoia I felt was crippling me while my rational mind rebelled against it. We barely made it home before I could completely lose it. Now that the meds kicked in, I felt a whole lot better about life. Edward's home was a haven for me a place where I was completely at ease. I really didn't want to leave the house finding comfort in the seclusion. This was unlike me.

My usual way of dealing was to seek out alone time. I thought back to those times I disappeared on Edward trying to work our relationship issues out on my own, how I'd truly wounded him. It was entirely unfair to exclude him guarding my emotions so carefully holding back from true intimacy. He had lost so much had changed so dramatically all because he loved me. But where had I been for him? I could see Edward was exhausted from not only the trial but from the need he felt to oversee my care.

I soaped myself feeling the soreness in my side. The wrap was constricting but clearly still needed. My body still bore the marks of the beating especially the area around my ribs and my ankle. My facial scrapes faded significantly although they were still noticeable.

Dread washed over me thinking about tomorrow's court appearance. Hopefully with Edward's help and the medication I'd be able to muddle through. I was after all Edward's co-counsel and needed to ready to perform at my best. I couldn't let my attackers win. While I knew this, my subconscious was freaking out. Edward wanted to spend time tonight prepping for the hearing so all would go smooth. I loved it when his killer instinct, take no prisoner style kicked into high gear. There was no one better. I would not disappoint him.

I was considered as good a litigator as Edward. The question for me, was my heart still with the law? Lately I'd been so unsettled with all of the changes in my life especially my relationship with Edward. Even before the attack as I headed back to my place that night I was determined to commit myself to a life with him. I had grown to love him deeply and despite my insecurities I knew I could trust him with my heart. He wanted me as his partner as I was flaws and all.

I needed to show Edward how much I appreciated his loving care. My boy deserved everything.

I love Edward. There, I said it.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

**Edward**

I puttered around in the kitchen cleaning but focused on Jasper. Tomorrow was pivotal to the case. Although it was ostensibly a hearing related to the assault on Jasper it could easily morph to additional charges against the respondents in our case, Jason Electronics and Volturi Partners. I would love nothing better than to hang those assholes up by their balls and get Claire a huge settlement without having to go to trial. After all, that is what they tried to strong-arm us into but now it's on our much more lucrative terms.

Jasper had been fucked with purposefully for just this sort of situation, hoping we'd settle for a pittance to avoid a fragile Jasper and Claire being spotlighted. Their case was weak therefore the only response was to throw shit against the wall. I realized now that Mike Newton and Embry were pawns in this game. The big players didn't care whether they were caught and prosecuted. The end result was to disable plaintiff counsel and render them ineffective and subject to question so they could deal on their terms. I had to prep Jasper with this knowledge in hand.

I typed furiously trying to collect my thoughts and resulting strategy when I felt fingers trail along my neck alerting me to the presence of my boy.

"Sethie, I need you." I squirmed in my seat as the heat of Jasper's words drifted over me causing my jeans to tighten.

"I'm tired baby, come upstairs with me." I swiveled in my seat beholding a naked Jasper, damp curls and alluring blue eyes alight beckoning me to leave my work behind.

"Save your shit baby and come to me." Jasper covered my mouth in a kiss that drained all strength from my body other than my ramrod hard dick. He sauntered up the stairs trailing the towel behind him.

"Be right there!" I hurriedly saved my work. Jasper and I could prep in the morning. Right now we needed each other in the most intimate way.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

We lay together, spent after making love, hungry for each other. The obstacles we'd endured seemed to have lifted; we were "us" tonight for the first time ever. Tomorrow we would go to battle united and defeat the beast. We murmured words of love and sweet endearments, as we lay entwined. I was home.

**I hope you are still with me. My sorry tale of woe regardless. Your reviews are priceless and well appreciated.**

**Next up: The hearing, the battle, the fear.**


	28. Chapter 28

**Blind Faith**

**Chapter 28**

**Edward**

I was up early full of nervous energy my mind running in a million different directions. It was four in the morning so I let Jasper sleep a bit but not too much longer.

Last night our coupling was beyond description. We confirmed our bond with loving words and kisses as we drifted off sated by our intense lovemaking. I was so careful with him but he was aggressive making clear what he needed. To me, it was a healthy indication that my Jasper was healing. I finally felt as if we could pull through all the shit and still end up together.

I padded downstairs and booted my laptop. While it was starting up I went to the kitchen and got the coffee going. I checked the fridge worried about what food might be there and groaned with disgust at the empty state thereof.

There was definitely a need to go on a resupply mission even if it was just for muffins and bagels. I stopped anxious at the thought of leaving Jasper asleep. What if he woke and I was gone? Would that undo the progress he'd made?

Since I was up I knew one other person who was up as well, Ed Senior. I put my plan into motion.

As quietly as possible I crept back to our bedroom and retrieved my cell phone. He was still down for the count snoring softly. I resisted the urge to touch him and went back downstairs.

The coffee gurgled its state of readiness just as my laptop beeped to indicate the same. There's something magical about being up before the dawn breaks. It's as if another world exists during this time. I've always relished it.

I called Dad. He answered right away, as I knew he would.

"Hi Eds."

"Hey Dad, sorry to call before the rooster crows but I'm anxious to get started early on prep for today's hearing. Would you be interested in coming over here?" I heard him chuckle.

"Like I wouldn't be up as well, us vampires need to stick together." He joked. Funny, Dad. "I sure would like to get prepared given we're not certain what will happen. As you know we lawyers don't like not knowing the outcome beforehand. In any case, there's a shitload I need to fill you boys in on and frankly your place is better for a debrief than gathering at the office. We'll have more privacy."

"Maybe you could call Clete and see if he's interested in joining us…"

"I'll do that, son. I'm certain Clete wants to have his two cents heard."

"Oh, and Dad, would you mind picking up breakfast on the way? The cupboard is bare other than the coffee I've got brewing."

"Will do, Eds. See you soon."

Success, we won't starve!

With that, I hung up and ventured into the kitchen to get my coffee. Once I had it just the way I prefer I returned to my laptop situated on the dining table ready to focus on the upcoming hearing. I had tons of e-mails likely containing interesting information we could utilize.

Before I started I decided to wake Jasper. I thought he should be up before our fathers arrived. It would be unfair to take him by surprise.

Slipping back up to our bedroom I was taken by his slumbering body barely covered by the comforter. Jasper's beauty never failed to get my heart hammering just as it did the very first time I ever saw him. His blonde locks were longer than I ever recall. Likely he hasn't had a haircut since he joined the firm. I wish he'd done so the other day, but truly the hair was just him.

I sat down next to his sleeping form. His ribs were still wrapped but otherwise he was naked. I stroked lightly down his arm feeling the warmth of his silky skin under my fingers. I stirred a bit as I recalled last night remembering his legs wrapped around my body moving with me as I thrust into him repeatedly. I calmed myself, and gently shook his shoulder.

"Jas, time to get up. Our dads are on their way over." I spoke softly not wanting to jar him awake.

"No-o-o" he groaned turning to face me with sleepy eyes. "For real? Damn!" Jasper sat up and stretched. "What time is it?" he asked noticing it was still dark outside.

I let my hand drift over his belly caressing the soft skin.

"How much time do we have?" He murmured passing his hand over mine pushing it lower.

"It's almost six in the am Jasper; we need to prep for the hearing so Ed Senior and your Dad are coming here." I retracted my hand but pulled him to me for a quick kiss.

"Go bathe. They will be here soon with breakfast." I pulled the covers off revealing his magnificent body. Damn! I'm starting to regret that I called my Dad.

He laid back knowing that I was admiring his amazing body. He smirked knowingly reaching out to tug on my hand.

"Sorry pal, get yourself in the shower!" He rolled his eyes and turned over to get out of bed and I couldn't resist smacking his luscious ass. God I wanted to bite it!

He squeaked and darted for the bathroom. I went back downstairs.

I sipped my coffee as I read through the e-mails saving any that seemed related to the Jason Electronics case and now also Jasper's assault in a separate folder. I still had deep concerns as to how Jasper would react to a face-to-face encounter with his attackers in the courtroom. I feared that the agoraphobic tendency he displayed yesterday might be exacerbated.

My nature was to protect Jasper. I would want to keep any hurt away from my loved ones. I wondered about the best that I could do for him and ultimately the answer was obvious. Jasper needed to face his demons. I would do him a great disservice by sheltering him. Could he handle it? I was certain that when the time came he would.

There was a sharp rap on the door announcing Ed senior's arrival. I shrugged off my meandering thoughts and unlocked the front door instantly greeted by my grinning father dressed in his trademark black trench and faded blue jeans. He looked like a kid despite the stray gray hairs adorning his otherwise bronze locks, which never failed to amaze me. Dad hugged me awkwardly laden as he was with our breakfast. He was followed in by Clete lugging a couple of bottles of orange juice that he promptly deposited on the counter. Clete spun around to face me.

"How's Jasper doing?"

"I'm doing just fine, Dad" Jasper answered for me as he wandered into the kitchen rubbing his hair with a towel. I couldn't help but admire the bare-chested look but winced that the deep bruise on his side was still visible.

"Wrap me?" Jasper asked with a pouty look batting his eyes at me. Damn! Why did I think an early morning meeting was so important when I could have been rolling around in bed with my beautiful man? I took the bandage from him and skillfully wrapped his ribs. He tugged on his shirt and went to hug his Dad and Ed Senior who were already sitting down at the table eating.

I retrieved the coffee and plopped down next to Jasper. As we ate my Dad started in on what he expected at the hearing.

Ed Senior expounded on what he thought might happen.

"My understanding is that Judge Stanley has read the brief filed by the DA's office hence why he so quickly demanded an initial hearing. He's not at all happy with the situation and the intimidation that was attempted against you, Jasper. It must have left him horrified, I'm certain."

Jasper leaned into me a bit and nodded as he slowly chewed his muffin lost in thought.

"Jasper, I'm not sure what form the hearing will take but the judge may very well ask that you describe the events surrounding the attack. The most important thing you can do is tell only the story you know don't speculate as to the identity of your attackers. The DA has statements by the participants as to who was involved so it's not up to you to establish their guilt" Clete added.

I felt Jasper's reaction. He tensed and started breathing rapidly.

"It didn't occur to me I'd have to testify." By now he had grabbed my hand gripping it tightly as he glanced between Clete and Ed Senior.

"You'll be safe" I spoke softly trying to keep him from losing it. "Don't let the assholes get to you baby, it's what they want."

"Don't worry Jasper, this isn't at the trial stage yet and hopefully never will be. You're not going to be cross-examined by opposing counsel today but you will probably have to tell your story."

With those comforting words Jasper relaxed.

"I can do this as long as you're there with me Edward."

"I will be, but you're stronger than you realize." I pulled him close and kissed his forehead suddenly aware of the heat of the stares coming from our Dads.

"Um, I kind of forgot you guys were here, sorry." I flushed with embarrassment. It was the first time either of them had seen us act with affection and as a couple. I wasn't comfortable with PDAs as it was.

"No worries" Ed Senior waved off my concern. "I mean it's not as if we haven't seen men kiss before, right Clete?"

A choking sound emanated from Clete's direction. Soon they were snickering like kids.

"Remember back at Yale, 1985?"

"Oh fuck I had just about…uh, boys let's wrap up." he suddenly blurted. "You have a couple of hours before you meet us back at the office. Ed, let's head out." With that they abruptly stood and deposited plates and utensils in the sink.

Dad patted my shoulder and put on his trench coat. They were out of the door in no time.

I caught Jasper's expression, which likely mirrored mine, eyebrows arched in surprise. Curious as to what they were hiding…

Whatever had happened in 1985 they were not about to spill but they certainly looked a little comical trying to change the direction of the conversation. We'll get it out of them eventually.

Now that we were alone once again I turned my attention back to Jasper, noting that he looked stressed. I gave him a quick kiss and got up to take the rest of the plates to the kitchen. I didn't want to focus on his discomfort. I knew this was going to be hard for him so I wanted to keep to our normal routine.

Doing dishes can be a little zen at times. I lost myself in thought as I washed the dishes wondering idly about my future. My skin tingled as I felt Jasper approach. I washed the suds off and dried my hands.

His warm body pressed up against me as I dried the plates.

"Mm Sethie, my Sethie, I need you" Jasper murmured into my neck.

My arousal grew as he ground against my ass. His hands wrapped around me caressing my belly. He slipped them under my shirt tracing patterns on my heated skin. Every pass of his fingers increased my desire for him exponentially. By now I had forgotten the dishes and reveled at the feel of his hard cock moving insistently. Jasper's soft words and moans magnified my pleasure and I lost all ability to resist his siren call. I turned off the tap just as he pinched at my nipples. I groaned and pushed back against him placing my hands on the counter for leverage.

He began to nip at my neck and shoulders making soft noises. That combination of slight pain and his whimpers was driving me crazy. I wanted him now; fuck the hearing.

"Fuck, baby you make me so hot for you." I groaned. He rolled his hips harder starting to thrust more aggressively.

"Sethie, I want to fuck you right now." His tongue swiped up my neck and nibbled at my earlobe sucking softly. I pulled at my sweats struggling to free my hard cock swollen needing attention. Jasper pulled at the back of my pants and together we slid them down my thighs until they pooled at my feet. I kicked them away grabbing at my cock to stroke it moving around the head, oh god, that felt so amazing.

I reached back and pulled Jasper back against me grabbing at his ass cheek. He was stripped bare and his naked cock now slid against my ass crack poking at my entrance teasingly. I stroked myself harder bent over the counter with Jasper leaning over my back moaning his need. He gripped me tightly adding his hand over mine as he swiveled his hips sliding his cock against my sensitive ass.

Jasper turned my head and kissed me hard slipping his tongue deep in my mouth. We were rutting against each other as needy as we'd ever been. No one, nothing felt as good as sex with Jasper. I couldn't think anymore so I gave myself over to pleasure, sensation and fucking.

Jasper kept nipping at my shoulders his hands freely roaming my body memorizing it. He alternated between soft touches and aggressive nips sometimes causing me to yelp when he occasionally bit too hard. He sucked and licked his way down my back to my ass. He nipped at my ass.

I turned my head trying to get a better view of his gorgeous self the flush of desire for me evident on his chest. Our eyes met and he bit me hard then began licking and sucking until he reached the Promised Land. My body quivered and my legs grew weak when his tongue began swirling against my entrance.

I tried to turn around so I could kiss him but he held me firmly in place. I watched craning my neck around as he spread my ass and licked at my hole flicking his tongue there increasing my arousal. Then he thrust his tongue in causing my eyes to roll back in my head. The pressure increased as he stretched my opening readying me.

His now lubed fingers thrust in and out. Now he turned me keeping his fingers inside while he pushed my hand away and took my cock in his mouth. His tongue swirled around and only his firm grip on my hip kept me from thrusting wildly as he took me deeply making noises of pleasure that hummed against my aching dick while his fingers moved in and out of me.

I badly wanted to move against him so I grabbed a handful of his long hair and pushed against his mouth slowly but with intent. He opened his throat and swallowed against me causing me to explode with the most intense orgasm I could recall all the while Jasper kept stretching me.

"Fuck, that was incredible" I gasped as my legs shook. Jasper pulled at me until I was straddling his lap there on the kitchen floor. He wound his hands in my hair and I did the same to him. We kissed deeply for what seemed like forever. Our hands roamed over heated sweaty flesh continuing to kiss and lick and suck on each other as we moaned and whimpered our intense coupling. I was pressed against his hard cock that he kept moving against me. I knew what he wanted.

"Fuck me, baby." I growled.

Jasper pushed against my chest until I was laid out on the floor between the kitchen and the dining room. The bed would have been far more comfortable but this was way more erotic. I watched as he loped over to the couch and retrieved a couple of pillows. His heavy erect cock slapped against his belly as he moved to kneel at my bent legs. He stroked himself lightly as he stared at me raking his eyes over my body.

Jasper leaned over me as he spread my legs open kissing me again. Our tongues stroked and danced in this deep intimate moment we were having. I am so fucking in love with him I want to cry.

"Sethie baby, I'm going to fuck you now." His blue eyes darkened with lust and that lovely flush that covered his chest made him glow from within. His chest was still wrapped or I'd be admiring all of his naked beauty.

He pushed my legs even further apart and spread my ass-cheeks. He teased my entrance with his long lubed fingers before plunging them deep inside me. I groaned at the intense pressure feeling myself grow hard again. He began to pant pulling my hips onto a pillow when I grabbed the condom and ripped it free of its packaging. I slipped it on his weeping cock while he grabbed the lube and slathered it on his cock. We stared at each other as together we stroked his cock. He positioned himself against my entrance and I felt that wonderful pressure as he slowly moved against me penetrating me until his balls were against my ass. It felt so fucking amazing.

Cradling my legs in the crook of his arms he leaned down for another soulful kiss not yet thrusting into me.

"I love you, Edward, so much." The grip I had on my emotions was lost and I was flooded with so much love for Jasper. I wrapped my arms around his neck and we kissed again as he began slowly moving in and out of me.

Jasper pushed off my chest and pushed my legs up over his shoulders.

"I'm going to fuck you hard now baby." With that he began to move into me forcefully the way I loved pounding harder and harder. I moaned with each thrust having given myself over to sensation not rational thought. Jasper continued to move in me aggressively pulling my hips back slightly on his lap. He leaned back and changed the quality of his movements rolling his hips but moving deeply until he hit my prostate. I groaned and reached between us fisting my cock stroking fiercely while he rubbed his cock against my sweet spot lighting me on fire. I came again but had no time to recover.

Jasper flipped me until I was on all fours and pushed powerfully back into me pounding against my ass. His balls slapped up against mine as he grunted and grunted. He continued pushing into me so hard I was moving across the wood floor. Not wanting to end up with wood burns I pushed against the nearby wall with my hands to stop my forward progress causing Jasper to drive into me much deeper.

Jasper started to moan loudly. I knew he was close when his thrusts grew sharper and shallower. I spread my legs apart so that I was almost head down to the floor. My arms were braced against the wall and I pushed my ass up to greet his movements. He gave one last cry and grew still gasping as his cock pumped and throbbed within me spilling his cum into the condom. He collapsed onto my back panting and sweaty. After a minute we sunk down on the hard floor kissing still wound around each other slightly sticky from the results of our lovemaking.

"Jesus, that was amazing!" Jasper gasped out stroking my face dancing his hands down my chest tweaking my nipples.

"I'll get hard again if you keep doing that."

Jasper ignored me and kissed down my chest laving and suckling at my nipples. I felt the burn of desire building in my belly. My cock twitched until he bit down hard marking me sucking just below my collarbone.

"Ouch Jasper!" I pushed him away while he giggled at me. I couldn't help grinning back. His nips were arousing albeit increasingly painful.

"Enough." I grumbled at him. I took notice that the sun was now out so we probably had a little more than an hour to get dressed and down to the office. I stood on still shaky legs slightly sore from our intense fucking but I reveled in the feeling. Jasper stood as well. Together we walked back to our room (how nice that sounds!) cleaned up and dressed in short order.

_**I was going to include the hearing in this chapter but realized it would be way too long of a chapter. Also, I apologize for the long delay in posting. RL, traveling for biz, kids, etc., etc.**_

_**Hopefully the secksi scene made up for it!**_


	29. Chapter 29

**Blind Faith**

**Chapter 29**

**Jasper**

I stared at myself in the mirror. Scraggly blonde locks too long for what an attorney should be wearing but I'd be damned if I was cutting it any time soon. Lately I was wearing it back in a ponytail tied back with a leather band to cover the huge fucking lump on the back of my head and the stitches.

I thought of braiding it but that was just too much work. My appearance had degraded, scrawny and washed out. I guess I could blame the attack, but fuck it a lot had to do with the aftereffects. If it weren't for Edward…could he be any more perfect and caring?

How many ways did he have to show his love as I dithered around holding him at a distance afraid to commit like the coward I was. The guilt I felt at how I treated this loving man threatened to overwhelm me. At the same time he was my refuge, my safety, my strength. Only he knew me. How could I give back to him what he deserved? When will he seek me out for comfort?

After the attack he was completely there for me. I trusted that he would be the one, the only one crazy enough to defy logic and discover where I was. I owed him my life. Despite all he had done I was somehow beginning to resent his attentiveness.

How screwed up is that?

It made me feel weak. I think he intuitively sensed that. He pulled back from his nursemaid tendencies of late.

Regardless, that man, my Sethie is also a sexual animal. He is innocence and raw passion wrapped up in a perfect package and he's mine. Everything about him screams to me at the most basic level. This morning was so insane! I had him any way I wanted he was so giving. He gave over power in our relationship to me and I took command. I love Edward very much. I just need to get my head together.

Who the fuck was I anymore? I need to sort myself out. For some reason, I don't want to burden Edward with my shit. If he knew what I was keeping from him he would freak, I know him. I'm just so sick of depending on Edward and lately, I feel like if he moves out of my sight I can't function. Even I know that's an unhealthy state of affairs.

My physical bruises were starting to fade for that I was grateful. I would tell Edward tonight that I would be seeking counseling. That would make him happy.

I met my image in the mirror and buttoned my grey vest and put on the matching jacket over a charcoal black shirt. I went with the bolo tie which was a must today as well as my new black boots. I smiled at how happy Edward was when I bought them. Like I said, no one knows me like Edward. I decided to forego the cowboy hat because after all I was originally from New York by way of Texas. Enough affectation for now!

"Jas, we've gotta go." There he was, my guardian angel. I smiled at myself and for the first time understood why he was so good for me. My cheeks pinked and I finally looked healthy.

Edward walked into my bedroom dressed to kill. If I didn't know we had less than fifteen minutes to haul ass I would have stripped him bare and had my way with him.

He was unassailable in a black pinstriped suit, the pinstripes narrow and barely discernible. His shirt, stark white clung to his lean body. A blood red tie offset the otherwise somber colors. Edward stood next to me and fussed with his tie. I turned to him and our eyes met. He smiled as I straightened his tie. I leaned in and kissed his sweet face.

"Did you take your meds, Jas?" Edward murmured while stroking a loose piece of hair behind my ear.

"Yeah, I did. I have the bottle in my bag." He worried endlessly about me. I hoped and prayed I would make it through the hearing without losing my nuts.

"Good." Reassured he kissed the tip of my nose.

"Ready, baby?" I asked.

"Yeah, let's go kick some ass." We entwined our hands releasing only when Edward locked the front door and set the alarm. Taking my hand once again he guided us to his victory car, an Aston Martin Vanquish. Like I said, my man has style.

Edward was a man possessed. He was in his take no prisoner's mode. I found that incredibly sexy. He was powerful determined and focused. His eyes reminded me of a hawk that has spied its prey. That is why he never loses. '.

I hazarded a glance over to his steely countenance. When he felt the heat of my stare his features softened and he looked at me adoringly.

"I won't let you down Jasper." He hummed in that way he speaks.

We stopped for coffee at the cafe in the lobby of the building. Who was there but none other than sweet Bella. We both snuck up on her and she started when we both leaned in on either side of her. She nearly dropped her latte.

"Ugh, you scared me!" She blushed a thousand shades of red still crushing on Edward who gave her a tight one-armed embrace. I wondered whether she would ever get over him…

"Hey girl, I've missed ya!" I said into her ear.

"Oh, Jasper, I'm so happy to see you!" Bella said enthusiastically. Forgetting herself she gave me a big hug, which made me wince a bit. She noticed and a look of horror crossed her face.

"Stop it, B. Swan!" I gave her a little frown. "I'm fine." Truth was, this was the best I'd felt outside of Edward's place since the attack. I guess the meds finally kicked in.

I chatted with Bella while Edward ordered our coffees. The three of us headed back up to the office together.

It seemed like an eternity since I had been in the office. It was a strange feeling to be back.

I felt full of nervous energy slightly unfocused given everything that happened. I approached my office as I had on my first day, strange and unusual territory. Bella pushed me through the door and got me settled in.

I walked around my office closing the door behind me. It was so disorienting to be back here even though less than a week had passed. It seemed like ages and I no longer felt connected to the place. Was this the result of the attack? I shook off the feeling and sat at my desk sipping my coffee.

I checked my Outlook and saw we had a team meeting scheduled in an hour. Until then, I fiddled my fingers and thought my future. Is this what I truly wanted, working at the Cullen firm? Back in Texas before I came out I had similar thoughts but was convinced I had to make my mark. My time with Peter was devastating. Peter pushed and pushed me to be the biggest, the best and I complied.

My fear increased as I wound myself up anticipating what was to come. Would I be okay at the hearing or would I be overtaken by another panic attack. I needed Edward.

This had to stop, this clinging to him like a scared baby. My hands shook as I resisted the impulse to run to Edward for comfort. I gripped the sides of my chair to try and control the tremors. I had to be able to keep my shit together to make it through the hearing. My credible testimony was critical to ensuring that the assholes were locked up.

I am a successful attorney for God's sake. I've been in tough courtroom situations and I know how even with slam-dunk case the tables can be turned against you by able counsel with one slip up. Fuck! I can feel the sweat dripping down my back.

The phone rang startling me. I snatched it up with a shaky hand.

"Whitlock here" I said. No one spoke. The phone's dial tone sounded. On any other day I wouldn't have given a hang-up call another though but now, I wondered if it was those goons trying to get to me.

My rational side clearly wasn't getting through the paranoia I was slowly giving into. It was as if I was outside of my body watching myself disintegrate.

The medication, when had I last taken it? I grabbed my bag and dug through for the pills. I'll take two. I swallowed them and took a gulp of coffee. I was tapping my foot furiously trying to contain my anxiety.

Should I go find Edward? Why hasn't he checked on me? I felt foolish. It can't have been more than fifteen minutes since we parted.

The phone rang again. I ignored the ringing or tried to. It soon stopped.

With great effort I tried to quiet my mind. My rational side had to take control back from my more primitive survival instincts. My extreme reactions were out of all proportion to reality.

I gripped the sides of the chair and stilled my movements. I closed my eyes and slowed my breathing emptying my mind of the racing thoughts as best I could.

What am I afraid of?

What am I afraid of?

What am I afraid of?

It struck me like a bolt of lightning. I had lost control the night of the attack. My sense of security and independence had been ripped to shreds. I needed to regain that feeling of control at least for a few hours today.

Slowly, slowly I regained a sense of calm. My muscles relaxed as the meds kicked in loosening my grip on the chair. I leaned back breathing easier just as the phone rang again. I closed my eyes and tried to ignore the incessant noise.

There was a knock at my door.

"Come in." I knew it was Edward.

"Baby why aren't you answering your phone?" Edward was eyeing me carefully as if I were a skittish fawn ready to leap at a moments notice. He stalked over and kneeled in front of me taking both of my hands.

"I was getting heavy breathers and hang up calls. I figured it was the assholes trying to get to me so I stopped answering. Sorry if I scared you." I leaned forward in my chair and kissed his sweet mouth. He pulled me close until my face was buried in his neck.

"Edward, I'm going to be okay. Have faith in me, please?" I whispered against his warm skin. God, how I loved him!

"I do, believe me I do." He held my face in his hands as we stared deeply into each other's eyes.

"Let's get to the meeting so we can prep." Edward stood and gently pulled me to my feet. We linked hands and separated only as we reached the conference room.

Ed Senior and Clete were huddled with Carlisle deep in conversation at one end of the conference room formerly our war room although technically it still was. The place looked like it had been bombed. The walls were still covered with time lines and taped up newspaper articles. The large table that dominated the room was littered with cups half-full of days old coffee and fast food wrappings. Someone needed to tidy up…

Edward bristled upon spying Carlisle. Things were still unsettled between them and Esme as well. Edward would be the consummate professional of that I was certain but he really didn't want to engage Carlisle if he could avoid it.

Riley was bent over his laptop muttering something to Bella as she looked over his shoulder. How cozy. Hmm, I wonder about those two…

Edward took command. My hero, sigh…

I sat at the table as he stalked towards Ed Senior, Clete and Carlisle. Ed Senior wrapped his arm tightly around Edward who nodded politely at Carlisle. He turned towards the room urging the men to sit.

"Please everyone take your seats, I'll be brief as we need to head to court in just a few moments." Edward braced his hands on the back of the chair he stood behind and surveyed the room. In addition to the senior partners, Bella and Riley, Maria and Felix had joined them along with Jacob. Caius the assistant DA entered the conference room carrying an overstuffed folder. He would be leading the charge today ably backed by Edward seconded to the DA's office by the firm. It was an unusual arrangement but no one knew more about the case and the resulting attack on me than Edward. Caius joined Edward at the head of the table. Caius cleared his throat and began speaking to the assembled team:

"As tempting as it is to try the Jason Electronics case what we are seeking today is to have the perpetrators of the assault on Jasper Whitlock", he nodded towards me "bound over for trial for felony assault and intimidation. To that end, we will present our evidence in the following manner:

Edward Cullen will lead Jasper through the facts of the assault as he recalls them. Now we know that Jasper was unable to identify his attackers but we will leave that to testimony by Felix the Cullen Firm's investigator and Riley Biers IT technical manager who discovered the identity of one of the attackers, Michael Newton. From Mr. Newton's own statements after he was taken into custody we link back to the other attackers and ultimately to the Volturi Firm and Jason Electronics.

We will be asking the court to bind over the defendants for trial and requesting that we also be permitted to criminally prosecute both the Volturi Firm and Jason Electronics."

Caius Volturi was a brave, brave man to go up against the family business. He was a slight thin man balding prematurely for someone in his mid-thirties. He was quite the contrast with Felix but they suited each other perfectly. Caius continued laying out his game plan.

"The line up for testimony is as follows:

Jasper Whitlock

Felix" His eyes flicked over to his partner.

"Riley Biers. With that we should have more than enough to convince the judge that there is sufficient evidence to bind them over for trial."

"Everybody ready to go?" Edward called out and received nods and call outs in return as everyone rose arranging their papers.

I saw Edward swivel around looking for me just as I reached his side. His mouth twitched but otherwise he was all business. Why was his aggressive confidence such a turn on? We walked down to the garage together and climbed back into his car. We were silent for a moment as the car purred to life. Edward's hand reached out and took mine. He stared straight ahead, completely focused.

"It'll all be okay baby, these fuckers are going down." He spoke softly squeezing my hand tightly then pulled away and engaged the clutch. We were headed for the courthouse a scant three minutes away. I took a deep breath but was feeling calmer. Edward's confidence was rubbing off on me.

Following instructions I trooped in behind lead counsel and sat just behind the DA's table. Edward sat next to Caius pulling files out of his heavy leather satchel. He turned to me leaned forward and whispered, "You are first up but then you need to leave. You can't stay for the other witnesses' testimony. Felix will take you to a separate room down the hall. Wait for me there please."

I shrugged and nodded in agreement pretending that being separated from Edward was just fine and dandy. I didn't want him worrying about my mental state.

Counsel for the defendants entered the courtroom and occupied the table to our right. Mike Newton sneered at me. His parents just behind him glared death stares in our direction. You would think we were the perpetrators by the look on their faces.

The bailiff called to court to order as the judge entered the chamber.

I kept myself in check by staring at Edward's back. He was just in front of me.

"The court calls Japer Whitlock to the stand." The bailiff called out. I stood and approached the witness stand just as Esme and Carlisle entered the courtroom. They took my seat and the one just next to it. Somehow that irritated me.

I was sworn in and repeated the well-known facts implicating Newton and the others. I was thankful there was no prosecution cross-examination in a preliminary hearing but just as I left the stand defense counsel approached the bench.

I was close enough to hear counsel for the defense utter their ludicrous argument: "If you please, your honor, this is a simple case of gay bashing by Mr. Newton. Jason Electronics and Mr. Matthews would have nothing to do with that. We request they be severed from this case." Shocked and uncertain whether the court would buy this argument I left and let Felix lead me out to our waiting room.

I missed the fireworks. Edward filled me in later when he came to gather me from the waiting room.

"Those fuckers wanted to make your beating look like, as they put it, a "simple" gay bashing. I'm certain you heard that. The judge didn't buy it and after they kept arguing held counsel in contempt! The best part is he bound them all over for trial!"

Oh, yay.

"Does that mean I have to testify again?" I asked quietly, quivering in my seat.

"You know the answer as well as I do Jasper, of course." Edward enveloped me in his arms as I began to lose it. I had been so strong today but the thought of those freaks getting to attack me again was just too much.

"Shh baby, let's get the hell outa here." Edward nuzzled my neck leaving soft kisses in his wake.

"The guys are getting together at Kelly's to celebrate. Are you up for that?"

"Sure as long as you're near!" I smiled at his surprised face but then remembered that I wanted to ask him about his mother.

"Are you sure Jazz?" Edward pulled me close pressing against my hip suggestively.

"Edward, stop." I said pushing lightly against his chest. "Your mother and Carlisle took my seat when I left. Did you talk to them?" He bristled clearly not wanting to discuss them but I pushed. He sighed loudly letting me out of his embrace taking a seat on the small couch. I wrapped my arm around his shoulder as I sat next to him offering what comfort I could. He grasped my other hand in his two gathering his thoughts.

"She looked so forlorn, Jasper. I wished she hadn't come though, it reminded me of her rejection, the fact she took Tanya's side over mine. I couldn't hide the bitterness and then when she tried to hug me… I turned my back on her and left without a word. I couldn't let her touch me right then."

"Oh Edward." He was holding so much emotion in check. "Esme probably should have thought it through better; to just show up like that, I agree wasn't helpful."

"I know I was wrong in hurting her in such a manner but I'm not quite ready to forgive and forget."

"Maybe in a few weeks we can invite your parents over for dinner and hash it all out. You love your mom and I think it would be best to get this mess behind us. You both are suffering something awful."

I stroked through Edward's soft hair, cut short for the trial. It made him look so young and vulnerable right at this moment. Just a short hour ago he was a fierce warrior but right now Edward just wanted his mother whether he could admit it to himself was another thing.

He leaned into me and turned his face to mine, searching for healing. We kissed softly at first, over and over until I felt the heat between us build as our mouths hungrily sought each other, tongues twisting together as we gave into our lust. Edward growled and pulled me tight against his chest moving his hips until I felt his hardness thrusting against me. His ardor was evident and I was going to give him what he so desperately needed.

Ever cautious I reached out and locked the door to the small room and flicked off the light. I was fairly sure we'd been forgotten as the court emptied out but I didn't want us to be caught out and embarrassed.

"Mmm, Jasper, we're in the dark together." Edward murmured as he kissed and sucked lightly on my neck his long fingers deftly working on my belt tugging it open occasionally rubbing my hard cock through my pants. Every inch of my body wanted his touch as I ached to feel his warm silky skin against mine.

"My dirty Sethie." I chuckled softly as Edward worked the buttons of my shirt open. We moved against each other while I worked his pants off and pulled his tie loose. I wanted to rip his shirt open to get to him but just pushed it up over his head trapping his arms behind him in the expensive linen.

"I want to touch you." Edward whined struggling against his shirt. He sucked at my hard nipples nipping them until I nearly came.

"Take your pants off Jazz, I want to suck your big dick." Ooh baby, no problemo. I was bare from the waist down in no time at all. Edward buried his face in my crotch nuzzling around my balls as I held onto his naked shoulders to keep him from falling over; his arms were still tangled in his shirt. He licked up my cock finally taking me into his warm wet mouth.

"Fuck, that feels so good, Sethie." I tried to keep from thrusting to deep into his throat but the feeling of his warm wet tongue swirling around my head was overwhelming. Edward stopped and leaned back slightly on the couch spreading his thighs open. I palmed his crotch as he eyed my hard twitching cock glistening with his saliva. His dick was peeking out over the edge of his black briefs straining against the fabric.

"Please Jazz, my pants…off…" He groaned urgently nearly incoherent tossing and writhing against the cushions. I yanked them off folding them neatly then returned to the awesome sight of my baby laid bare and open before me, bound and vulnerable. I kissed his naked shoulder trailing my hands up his strong thighs.

"Baby straddle me. I want your body." I sat down over his waiting frame and we both gasped and moaned with the skin to skin contact of our hard cocks. We rubbed against each other enjoying the soft rutting as we kissed and sucked and grew increasingly aroused. I pulled Edward up and finally worked to free his hands from the shirt placing it with his slacks. Freed from his bindings Edward became ever more aggressive until I had to remind him not to squeeze me too tightly as my healing bruises were still tender.

"Jasper, I need to fuck you." Edward moaned. "I hope you have something with you because I don't."

"Oh, I do. Hold on to that thought." I grabbed my pants and extracted the condom and packet of lube from my wallet handing them to Edward.

"Up" he commanded pulling my body to his kissing me deeply. He stroked down my back squeezing my ass.

"Turn and put your hands on the back of the couch." I did as he asked. Edward pushed down on my back so I bent over more while he caressed my ass and tugged on my balls sending me into a frenzy of lust. He crouched behind me and took my balls into his mouth sucking on each then trailed his tongue up to my entrance swirling against the sensitive skin.

"Uh, fuck me Sethie, I need you inside me." I could barely hold back but I didn't want to come until he fucked me. He spread my ass and slowly circled with one finger before pushing in and stretching me readying me for his big hard cock. He tore the packet of lube open and I felt cool fingers pushing into me as I pushed back against his hand urging him, pleading with him to get on with it. He thrust his slick fingers in curling his fingers and hitting my prostate. I saw stars. My legs gave out and Edward wrapped one strong arm around my waist holding me in place keeping me from collapsing.

Edward slid the condom on and I heard the moist sounds of lube as he coated himself. He pulled on my hips as his breathing grew harsher.

"Baby, you look so good like this." Edward groaned and placed his lean body against mine teasing my entrance with his cock. Finally I felt the burn as he breached my entrance both of us moaned at the intense feeling, the intimacy of such close contact. Edward slowly pushed in until his hips met my ass panting his desire, warms breaths against my back. With one hand he began slowly stroking my hard cock still deep inside me filling every inch of me.

Edward slowly pulled out then thrust back in with more force beginning to move his hips in a circular motion then thrusting harder and harder moaning incoherently. I felt a sharp sting. Wow that was amazing. Edward slapped my ass again thrusting deeply leaning his body back angling to hit my prostate over and over and over until I was crying out with the intensity of pleasure building in my belly seeking release. He slapped me hard and I exploded all over the couch. Edward grew impossibly bigger pushing and thrusting until he came with a cry.

We collapsed in a heap both of us quivering and sated from our fucking. God we need that. Edward kissed up my neck holding me close. He sucked on my ear lobe. His hot breath caressed me as he whispered in my ear.

"I love you so fucking much." He squeezed me tightly. I gasped a bit and Edward pulled back remembering my tender side. We lay quietly on the couch our legs entangled stroking each other whispering endearments while we came down from our high.

After a bit we cleaned up as best we could and redressed. With one last look around the little room we departed and headed out to Kelly's.

_**I hope you all will forgive the long wait, this was a particularly hard chapter to write. **_


	30. Blind Faith 30

_**Disclaimer: Stephenie is the queen of all things Twilight. I only own this little plot.**_

_**Thanks for sticking with me through this journey with the boys. I had a tough go since Ch 27. Hopefully I'm past the block.**_

**Blind Faith**

**Chapter 30**

**Edward**

I felt a little manic as Jasper and I walked to my car in the courthouse garage. The events of the day could not have gone better. I held tightly to Jasper's hand. He was amazing on the stand. It would certainly be hard for an outside observer to tell how stressed out testifying made Jasper but I knew how difficult it was for him to face his attackers and they did not make it any easier with their glares and sneering comments.

I glanced over at my darling who was looking at me with a smile. Our love was growing. It curled around us like a warm blanket. We intuitively sensed each other's moods and right now we were as high as a kite with happiness. The love we shared earlier was beyond description in its perfection. Our intimate connection made us one I hoped, forever. We just needed to get past this case so we could work on "us".

Jasper tugged at my hand, his eyes lit with happiness. "What are you thinking?" He said softly.

I grinned at him swinging his hand between us as we walked. I turned him in a pirouette until he was against my body. Sighing I responded;

"I'm thinking I will never look at the courthouse in the same light again!" We both giggled being silly with each other until we reached my car.

I beeped it open helping Jasper in despite his objections. I couldn't help myself. Jasper was the love of my life and I needed to show him that in every way I could. It wasn't because he couldn't do for himself, I just wanted to show Jasper how much I treasured him.

Once we were securely buckled in I leaned over and gave Jasper a quick kiss and asked:

"Are you sure you're okay with going to Kelly's?"

"Yeah, I'm good Edward as long as I can see you."

"I won't be far from you, ever." I stroked his cheek noting the light stubble given that it was now late in the day.

I started up the beast and we headed out to Kelly's.

Parking was hard to come by and I didn't want to take the chance my Aston-Martin would be scratched or otherwise damaged in the crowded lot.

"I know this sounds weird but your place is really close by. Would you mind if we left the car there and walked back?" I hesitated knowing Jasper hadn't been back to his home since the attack. Was I being insensitive?

"Um," he hesitated. "That should be fine Edward. We can leave it in the drive and walk back."

I felt really selfish now that I noted how tense Jasper was. But then it occurred to me he needed to face his fears, right? Maybe this would be the first step for him in regaining his confidence.

I pulled up to the gate. Jasper leapt out and entered the access code. The gate rattled open. Rather than getting back in the car immediately Jasper slowly trailed up the driveway twirling his keys as I carefully crawled behind him illuminating his movements.

I was worried I'd made a huge error in judgment. Was I putting his well being at risk because I didn't want my car to get scratched? What was on Jaspers mind as he walked cautiously up the driveway?

Anxious, I parked in the roundabout watching as Jasper continued approaching his place. He was at his front door before I could unfasten myself and exit the car.

I threw my door open and tried to get to him before he opened the front door. I had no idea what state his place was in and god forbid if his blood still stained the tiles in the foyer…

"Jas. Wait up." I sprinted towards him but he managed to get the door open and flicked on the light. I groaned internally and prepared for the worst.

Finally nearing Jasper I could do no more than follow him into his place. He looked around wonderingly and I was stunned silent.

It was pristine.

There was no sign of the struggle that had ensued with his attackers. Clearly someone, likely Rosalie and Alice made sure the place was perfect for whenever Jasper chose to return. At this particular moment I was grateful for their foresight. I would sink to my knees in thanks for what they'd thoughtfully done for Jasper at least, for this one point in time.

"Everything is just perfect. That's all I needed to see." Jasper turned on his heel and walked back outside.

"Ready Edward? It's only a five minute walk from here." I knew he was not okay but I played along. After all he just left the front door wide open.

"Yes, throw me the keys and I'll lock up." I said nonchalantly feeling anything but. I caught the tossed keys and locked the front door.

We walked to the side gate and exited making sure the lock clicked in place. I grasped Jasper's arm as he continued to walk away.

"Hey, are you okay? I think I might have imposed too much with the car and all. I don't want to dredge up old memories…"

"No Edward, it's all good." He patted my hand and I loosened my grip unconvinced. How far did I push him? He was back to the old cryptic Jasper. Should I be grateful or afraid? My happy mood darkened a bit. I wanted to kick myself.

Jasper turned and pulled me tightly to his body.

"Everything is okay worry wart." He kissed my trembling lips. Why did I feel like crying?

"You are my home, Edward. I'm putting this place up for sale. I want to live with you if you'll have me." I ducked my head into the place between his shoulder and neck as I gave over to tears. This was everything I ever wanted. I clung to him unable to form words, just letting out my overflowing love for him, my dear Jasper. The events of the day finally overtook me.

"Sweetness, you make me worry. Why the tears?" Jasper stroked my head soothing me as I composed myself. I sniffled a bit feeling foolish.

"I'm just so happy. Today and tonight are the culmination of all my dreams. I guess I kinda lost it."

We stood together arms entwined as I settled back to normal.

"Are you ready to head to Kelly's?"

"Oh yeah, I need a beer!" I laughed along with Jasper wiping at my eyes as we quickly proceeded back towards Kelly's bar. It was so cold outside that I began to regret leaving my jacket in the car until we entered the bar. The heat enveloped us and I quickly forgot all about my lack of a jacket. None other than his sister, Rosalie, immediately yanked Jasper out of my grasp pulling him towards a nearby table. Momentarily at a loss, I just stood and watched them unsure what to do next.

They were soon huddled close together talking animatedly. I was happy for once to let them bond. I shouted out to Jasper, "Hey are you good?"

"Yeah, I'm good," he grinned back giving me a "thumbs up".

I ambled into the crowd greeted with cheers and arms slapping me on the back. A beer was shoved at me. I couldn't have been happier than at this moment with these friends and these colleagues. This moment made the hard work of the past few months worth all of the heartache.

Bella and Riley looked entranced with each other sitting at a tall bistro table leaning in captured in each other's gaze. I don't think they were even conscious of it. The two of them made a sweet couple and I hope something came of it. Maybe the girl would finally get over her crush. Sipping on my beer I surveyed the room. Alice and Jacob joined Rosalie and Jasper. My gut clenched with resentment but I had to let it go. It was important for Jasper to make peace with his sister and friends so he could move on.

The thump, thump of the music was blaring making it hard to talk. I decided just to hang back and observe for a while. I realized I was feeling a little melancholy; a little lonely wishing my family was here too.

I chanced a glance over at Jasper's table and found that he was looking back at me with concern. I didn't want to be a downer so I looked around and spotted Felix and Caius. I smiled and waved at Jasper walking over to their table. I positioned myself so Jasper could still see me and joined them.

"There he is, the man of the hour!" brayed Felix, clearly having sampled a bit too much spirits but looking none the worse for wear. Caius was giggling at him flushed as well and I was reminded of a night a few months ago when these two nefarious characters got Jasper liquored up and dropped him off at my place.

For that I will be forever grateful to them. It was the start for us.

"Okay you two know that it's as much due to your hard work. This was a team effort. Bottoms up!" I drained my drink as Felix and Caius snickered at my toast.

"Bottoms up…oh yeah, I'll have what you're having." Caius smirked then winked at me. He turned away and kissed Felix passionately. I felt a little awkward gawking at them.

A warm hand caressed my neck sending a thrill down my spine. "Hey you. Miss me?" Jasper kissed the nape of my neck then tugged at my hand. By now Felix and Caius were lost to us deep in their own bubble.

"Always." I whispered in response rising and following Jasper as he led me along.

"Emmett is here." He twined his fingers with mine leading me towards the table where Rosalie sat with Emmett and the others. I wasn't so sure about this. So much bad blood had been let over these past weeks. The last people I wanted to be around were Rosalie and her coterie, Alice and Jacob. I would do this because it was important to Jasper.

"Hi Edward!" Emmett called out waving me over. I warily took a seat between Emmett and Jasper deciding to be as cordial as possible.

I smiled politely and shook hands with the three of them. Jasper beamed.

"Dude, it's so good to see you." Emmett pulled me into a tight hug slapping my back. "I heard from Carlisle that you killed it in the courtroom. Congrats." Rosalie once again at Emmett's side scrutinized me. Whatever, I wasn't here seeking her blessing.

"So you and Rose are back together eh?" I called out to Emmett not really looking for the obvious answer just trying to draw out a reaction, ignoring her as best I could.

"I guess you could say that, Edward." Rosalie said sipping her drink. Emmett glowed with happiness; she eyed me like prey. I did not understand what he saw in her. What the fuck was I doing at this table? This was torture. Was I supposed to respond to her?

"Well congrats to you two." I lifted the beer towards them then to my lips keeping busy avoiding their studious glances. Did he sense my discomfort and if so why did he subject me to this torture? I grew increasingly annoyed. Rosalie caught me in her steely gaze.

"Your mother wants to see you and soon." _Fuck you Rose_.

"Is that an order?" I was already on my feet.

"God, that didn't come out right." She stuttered. "She misses you." Rosalie blush? Unheard of I thought cynically.

"Give her a chance Edward. Get that stick out of your ass. Now sit back down." Emmett growled at me. My own brother thinks I'm an ass. I sat down hard and crossed my arms across my chest. My posture spoke volumes. Speak, but don't expect me to listen, I'd heard just about enough from "her".

"Edward, just listen to them." Jasper squeezed my thigh. I looked over at him remembering his words of earlier today. I choked back my anger and resentment.

"Esme is heartbroken. She realizes she did you wrong but you won't let her apologize. Carlisle told us her health has deteriorated markedly in the past few months." Rosalie for once, looked sincere. My chest clenched. Yes, I was bitter but I didn't wish any harm to befall my mother. I still loved her deeply but my anger and my sorrow at their rejection had never had a chance to be fully expressed.

I glared at Jasper at let him know with my eyes that I did not appreciate being ambushed. He acknowledged my glare with a worried frown.

I took command of the situation. "Jasper and I agreed that after things settle down we'd have them over for dinner to hash things out. Did he mention that?"

Rosalie looked at me with a confused expression.

"I, uh didn't get a chance…" Jasper whispered so upset at his admission and the realization he had put me on the spot without warning. "It's okay Jazz, we'll talk later." I brushed his soft cheek with my fingertips and gave him a tight humorless smile.

"Emmett, please pass the message on to my mother and Carlisle. We'll call in a few weeks." I couldn't abide responding to "her".

Just then, I noticed that Ed Senior and Clete finally had sauntered in. That was my cue to depart.

"Well it's been loads of "fun" but I see my father and need to speak with him. Evening everyone." I stood abruptly and left with a gnawing pain in my gut feeling a little violent. Any meeting with Rosalie left me ready to punch something preferably her smug face. I have no idea what Emmett sees in her. Wait, she's a hot bitch, but still…

I couldn't wrap my head around the idea that she and Jasper were related. They were so different yet cared deeply for each other. This time Jasper followed me as we left the group behind.

Jasper looped his arm through mine pressing close to me.

"Edward, I'm sorry. I know you feel ambushed but I didn't intend that. I was just hoping we could all get past our differences with Rose. Everything just came out wrong." He whined. I was annoyed but had sense enough to recognize that Jasper didn't intend any harm. I kissed his temple and squeezed the arm wrapped through mine.

"No harm done, baby. She just annoys the shit out of me. I actually think she gets off on it." Jasper looked thoughtful.

"Hmm, you may be right about that…"

_**Sorry for the long wait. I'm getting this out now and will continue with their talk with Ed and Clete and the culmination of the lawsuit. **_


	31. Author's Note

_**Disclaimer: Stephenie is the queen of all things Twilight. I only own this little plot.**_

_**Thanks for sticking with me through this journey with the boys. I appreciate all of your feedback!**_

**Blind Faith**

**Author's Note**

**I apologize for taking so long to update! I have reached serious writer's block! My job is very demanding as well and family issues have limited the time I have to reflect on writing. I'm taking a break from work for a month and hopefully will be able to wrap some of my stories. Expect and update in mid-September for those of you still following my little story!**


	32. Chapter 32

_**Disclaimer: Stephenie is the queen of all things Twilight. I only own this little plot.**_

_**I greatly apologize for the long delay. Thanks for sticking with me through this journey with the boys. I appreciate all of your **_

_**feedback!**_

**Blind Faith**

**Chapter 31**

**Edward**

Ed Senior stood and waved us over to their table. What a scene it was in contrast to where we had just been. It looked like he and Clete were holding unlit cigars…Cuban?...Clearly they were in a celebratory mood more than willing to flout US Customs. Today boded well for the outcome of the Jasper's case so I could understand their exuberance. Still, how the hell did they have access to Cuban cigars?

Jasper had his arm around my waist clinging to me uncertainly, unhappy with the scene left behind with Rosalie. I sighed deeply worrying about my sweet Jasper trying so hard to bring us all together, ever the peacemaker. As much as I wanted to try and make amends she was such a fucking control freak bitch on wheels that I could only take her in small doses. The fact that Rosalie had insinuated herself into my family's life through Emmett and my mother added salt to the wound. It was infuriating that she scolded me for not reaching out to Esme. Who the hell was she to tell me what to do? Just the thought of Rosalie made me want to hit something.

_Calm down, calm down,_I repeated like a mantra cooling down finally as we approached our fathers.

The atmosphere grew ever more festive with each step we took towards our fathers.

You know… I'm gay, Jasper's gay but we're not "flamboyant" if you know what I mean. So there's Ed Senior, in his signature black trench, cigar between his lips a scarlet silk scarf draped around his neck. The loose ends were fluttering behind him like wings as he chatted to his rapt audience made up mostly of firm associates. His graying but still bronze locks made him look like a mad professor as he gesticulated wildly drawing laughs from his adoring "fans".

Clete was guffawing and cat calling my Dad; something about Mardi Gras in '85. Clearly he'd had one too many scotches. Clete's loud paisley tie seemed weirdly incongruent. He'd loosened it so that it hung below his starched white Oxford shirt the first two buttons undone. His shirtsleeves were rolled up. He was relaxed, twirling his scotch happily reveling in his best friend's eccentricity.

They looked so fucking young and alive.

I felt old.

Right then I was overcome by a flood of love for my lunatic father who suffered so much to maintain our relationship. Yeah, I love him and I'm proud to be his son, a realization that fills my heart and makes me smile. It dawns on me how alike we are in certain ways. I want to be even more like him.

Jasper and I pause standing in the shadows for another moment observing. Today had left me overly emotional and reflective. Will Jasper and I be like this in twenty years? Will we be as full of life as our crazy fathers or will we succumb to convention. I want to be like Ed Senior, full of energy and unafraid to take life on.

I shook my self back to the here and now realizing I still had Jasper tentatively hanging on to me.

I pulled Jasper close while we were still in the dark as we approached their table. I kissed his cheek and heard his exhale. I stopped and turned to him.

"You okay Jazz?"

"Um, yeah, as long as you stay close to me babe."

The fear of being assaulted again still clung to him.

"Not a problem, let's go hang with the cool Daddies." I grinned at him while I pulled my shades on. Jasper laughed at me and did the same just as we caught sight of Clete arguing some nonsense with Ed Senior. What's all this about beads and transvestites? It seemed like they were a few scotches short of a fistfight.

"Hey old men, what are you arguing about?" I shouted out catching their attention.

"Over here boys! We were just about to give up hope that you would join us!" Ed Senior gleefully imitated Groucho Marx with his trademark cigar wiggling his eyebrows.

I strolled out of the shadows tugging Jasper along and joined the festivities. Clete rose and moved a few chairs around making space for the two of us. We plopped down next to each other just as fresh drinks appeared in front of us.

"So Dad", I started. "What's all this about love beads and transvestites? Sounds a little sketchy."

"Oh well son, that's a story for another day." He wiggled his eyebrows deviously then pulled me out of my chair into a tight embrace just about squeezing the air out of my lungs before patting my back and letting me go. Yeah, he's proud of his one and only son, I beamed at his overt affection.

Ed Senior plunked himself down so it was just the four of us men, fathers and sons celebrating together. We traded stories although they kept very close to the vest the mysterious '85 event. I was on a mission to uncover the details. They deviously evaded our enquiries.

We devolved to our current case rehashing some of the most memorable details of today's hearing. That Newton and his cohorts would stand trial was immensely satisfying. We filled Jasper in on what he had missed by not being able to stay in the courtroom. He was taken aback by their argument that this was simply a gay bashing I could feel the thrill of fear begin to settle on him and I couldn't allow that quickly changing the subject.

I didn't say anything to Jasper but there was no certainty that Newton and the other men were still being held in custody. There was a distinct possibility that someone, possibly from Volturi had bailed them out.

Upon reflection however it would be stupid for the firm to openly secure their release given Volturi's current precarious status before the court as lawyers for Jason Electronics. Hopefully they too will be held culpable for the vicious attack on Jasper.

I swirled my drink contemplatively taking a long sip deciding to keep these thoughts to myself. There was no need to worry Jasper further just as he seemed to be relaxing once again. I would keep him close for the time being.

I must have been staring into space deep in thought when I was startled back to reality by a nudge to my shoulder. I looked towards Jasper who was eyeing me carefully.

"Edward you look like you're a million miles away." He stroked down my arm taking my idle hand in his. I smiled back winking.

"I was just thinking about you, of course!" I couldn't resist leaning forward for a kiss, which he responded to enthusiastically much to the noisy delight of our parental audience. I flushed forgetting where we were momentarily but what the hell! It felt great to acknowledge each other in public. Crisis averted for now.

Ed Senior tapped my shoulder to get my attention. He leaned in catching my gaze with a seriousness that belied tonight's festivities.

"You know I'm really proud of you son how you've handled this case despite what happened to Jasper." He spoke quietly so only I could hear amidst the noisy sounds of chatter and music, one arm slung over my shoulder pulling me in. I glanced over at Jasper who was engaged in deep conversation with Clete despite still clinging to my hand.

Dad cleared his throat and unlike his normal demeanor appeared nervous. "Coming out was brave and now I'm going to ask that you do one more brave thing." He paused looking me in the eye.

"You are going to have to deal with your mother." I bristled at her mention. Fuck! Now even my Dad was on my case.

He sensed my rising anger and held up a hand to stop me from saying things I would regret.

"I understand that her actions were completely inappropriate and hurtful. I am or was angry as well. That doesn't mean she hasn't seen that she was wrong and is trying to make amends. She can't apologize if you won't see her."

"Dad, what she did was beyond wrong. She essentially banned me from the family when I broke it off with Tanya and came out. I has hurt and lonely. The nurturing mother I thought I had disappeared. If not for you, Vic and of course Jasper I don't know where I would be." My anger at the situation simmered pleading with him to understand.

"I'm not quite ready to forgive and forget but I have agreed to get together with Mom and Carlisle for dinner soon as long as Jasper is invited. We're a package deal and I won't back away from that." Jasper squeezed my hand catching my attention.

"I wouldn't expect you to exclude Jasper, Edward." He paused considering his next words. "Just think about whether you can have an honest conversation if he's there with you."

"Oh, I can have an honest conversation alright." I seethed.

"Try an contain your anger." Ed Senior pulled me in for a hug and landed a quick kiss on my temple. "I'm asking a lot of you, to be the bigger person. I suffered her wrath for years, I know what it's like but we are okay now, maybe not friends but okay. I don't want you to miss a chance to get your Mom back." He patted my back and just then Jasper tugged again at my hand.

Jasper's expression indicated he'd gleaned the substance of my talk with Ed Senior. I sighed and smiled in reassurance.

"Do you want to get out of here?" I asked. Exhaustion hit me like a freight train, not surprising given the events of the day and evening. I was ready to climb into bed and lose myself in sleep.

"Yeah, I need the walk back to your car to clear my head." I guess Jasper had indulged a bit too much!

He pulled me up from my chair and tugged me along as we shouted our goodbyes to the Dads and the rest of the team. I caught sight of Bella and Riley, heads close, his hand resting lightly on her thigh. Looks like there is something developing between them. Oh, goodie!

"Night, all!" We waved then quickly left the bar shocked by the coolness of the night as the door closed behind us sealing off the heat of the club.

We walked slowly, arms entwined around our waists holding each other close to preserve some warmth, talking softly, intimately. We walked through the dark night occasionally lit by a streetlight as our steps brought us closer to his place where I had left my car.

This is all I want for my life, I reflected as Jasper went on about some subject lost to me. He and I together like this. It's all I want and why I risked so much for him, waited for him to trust me. This moment right now is perfect. I glanced over at his beautiful face as he chatted on laughing. I reached over and pushed a few stray curls away from his cheek overwhelmed by my love for him.

He stopped talking and paused turning towards me. We just stood and gazed at each other, our love unspoken but clear as day and strong as steel. It had been tempered by fire and we'd survived.

We kissed then, lost to the world around us. No words were necessary. We stood like that for maybe a minute or two when I realized we had reached Jasper's place.

"We're here. Let's get you back home so we can get to bed." I yawned loudly as I beeped my car open.

"Edward, let's just stay here." I jerked in surprise. His bright blue eyes shone with affection and concern.

"Are you sure?" I asked. With all of the bad memories from the attack it was the last thing I expected. I would drive through hell rather than cause him a moment's angst. "I'm good to drive J."

"No, you need to rest. Besides, it's just a house. I need to exorcise some demons. I'm tired of living in fear." That's my boy!

"Okay then. I am about to fall over and you're right, it's too chancy to drive when I'm this tired. Let me know though if you get weirded out and we'll leave."

"Deal."

Jasper engaged the automatic gate. It grated open. We walked past my car and I quickly locked it again.

We found ourselves once again before his grand front door only this time we knew what lay beyond. Once again I was grateful to Rosalie and Alice for thinking ahead.

We entered and after Jasper secured the front door and engaged the alarm we trudged upstairs to his bedroom. As we stood at the threshold the effects of the day left me barely able to speak my feet felt like they were covered in lead weights.

Jasper grabbed me by the biceps and guided me towards the bed. I just stood there like a lump as he turned the bed down and shut off the lights with the exception of the one on the nightstand next to me.

He stood behind me and leaned in to kiss my neck. A shiver went through me at his light touch.

"My sweet Sethie let me undress you." Jasper whispered into the quiet. I leaned my head back against his shoulder as he slowly unbuttoned my shirt peeling it away letting it waft to the floor soon to be followed by my trousers and briefs. He placed my phone, wallet and keys on the nightstand then coaxed me under the covers. I turned towards Jasper and watched him undress in the soft light barely able to keep my eyes open.

His beauty nearly brought me to tears. I watched as he walked in all his naked glory to the other side of the bed and crawled in next to me never taking his gaze from mine.

We lay face to face until he rolled over me to kiss me goodnight. His warm silken skin was like a healing balm. He held me close as I succumbed to exhaustion and sunk into a deep sleep.

No more than an hour must have passed before I was startled awake by the insistent shriek of my phone. I fumbled for it on the nightstand to check who was calling at this hour. It was Ed Senior. I sat up abruptly as did Jasper and answered. Dad rattled on for a minute until I was wide awake; stunned at his words.

Say it again Dad so Jasper can hear."

**Hope you enjoyed. I am optimistic I won't take as long to update next time!**


	33. Chapter 33

_**Disclaimer: Stephenie is the queen of all things Twilight. I only own this little plot.**_

_**Thanks so much for your lovely reviews. It means a lot after having not posted for a long while. I'll try and be better! Note: There are probably 3-5 chapters left then the Clete and Ed Senior saga…Springsteen, Madonna, way before Nirvana…**_

**Blind Faith**

**Chapter 32**

**Jasper**

_No more than an hour must have passed before I was startled awake by the insistent shriek of my phone. I fumbled for it on the nightstand to check who was calling at this hour. It was Ed Senior. I sat up abruptly as did Jasper and answered. Dad rattled on for a minute until I was wide awake; stunned at his words._

"_Say it again Dad so Jasper can hear."_

Edward hit the speaker button. Ed Senior's voice blared uncomfortably loud into the early morning but his words were the sweetest sound I'd heard in a while.

"I heard unofficially from the court that that Newton and his cohorts are going to plead to felony battery." I couldn't resist breaking out into a full grin. Edward and I smiled at each other. I resisted the urge to grab him and bounce on the bed like a teenage girl.

The sense of relief that flooded me put into perspective the intense struggle I'd undergone to come to terms with the attack. I still bore the bruises and tenderness on my ribs as well as my psyche.

To think I nearly walked away from Edward. He represents everything good that has happened to me in recent months and yet I was still so fearful I almost let him go and gave in to the insistent pressures of Rosalie and Alice. It would have been easier in many ways to give up, much less stress but oh, the heartache I would have caused. Edward would have let me go, I see clearly, because he cares that much for me. He would have lived with a broken heart to keep me happy.

So my relief is not only that the assault case will end and that I won't have to testify and I still have my man, this gorgeous creature sitting next to me in our bed…naked…on the phone…

"The plea deal means that the defendants won't spend much time in jail, Mike especially as a first time offender. We still have the option to go forward with the case if you feel strongly about going for a tougher sentence." Ed Senior droned on.

"No, I want to agree to the plea deal. I want this over and behind us." I leaned into Edward holding onto his hand as we talked. Our connection was strong but I needed his touch.

"We'll make sure that the terms of his probation all parties, in fact, include an order to stay far from you and your loved ones. It's just an added security for you, Jasper."

"Thanks, Ed." I shouted towards the phone. I flopped back on the bed, wide awake and exhilarated feeling freer than I had in a while. Edward ended the call and lay on me pressing our bodies close. I circled my arms around his neck and drew him to me giving him soft lingering kisses unable to stop smiling at the same time.

"I'm happy Sethie, maybe we can finally leave this thing behind us."

"Sleep, baby." He murmured into my shoulder snapping the light off. Shortly, we drifted off once again.

The hiss of the shower was the first sound that broke through my consciousness as I awoke. Edward was up and it was still fairly early. I pushed the comforter aside and arose slightly confused. Was it a weekday? I had lost all sense of time being out of the office since my attack.

I picked up a pair of discarded sleep pants tugging them on pondering why I suddenly felt so unsettled.

Work beckoned to me for certain. I'm sure a full slate of cases awaited my return. My stomach churned at the thought. Was I ready to return? Did I want to? What would Edward want me to do?

Of course knowing him he'd never push me to return if I really wasn't ready to face the day-to-day pressures of the office.

I brushed the hair off my face roughly not liking the unsettled feeling that tugged at me.

The shower shut off and I just stood there staring at the bathroom door unable to move.

A light puff of steam emanated from the bathroom preceding Edward clad only in a towel shoulders glinting from the water droplets that clung to him like little diamonds.

He pulled the towel off to dry his hair revealing his exquisite form to me unaware at first that I stood in the middle of the room frozen with anxiety. His eyes finally caught mine. He let the towel drop from his hand and moved quickly to my side.

"What's the matter Jasper?" His shower-warmed body enveloped me and long graceful fingers caressed my cheek, as I feared I might break down. Edward pulled me towards the bed and I sat heavily rubbing at my eyes trying to clear my head. He crouched before me cradling my face forcing me to meet his eyes. I began to cry unable to hold back the torrent of emotion. It was as if I was watching myself cry but I couldn't stop it. I could see Edward was frantic with worry but I couldn't stop. I felt so out of control.

Edward pulled me close. I sunk into his lap and he held me tight not questioning my actions, just rocking me and whispering comforting words as I fell apart. I'm not sure how long I continued this way, no more than minutes I suppose but I slowly felt the tears ebb and a sense of heavy calm pervade my senses. I could easily have drifted off to sleep again were it not for Edward.

"Baby, talk to me." His worried velvet voice purred.

What do I say? I had no idea why I had reacted so strongly to the thought of returning to a job that up to now I loved. The stress released by the plea deal seemed to be a valve opening all sorts of other feelings.

"I...I'm not sure I want to go back to Cullen. I don't think I want that any more." This revelation surprised me as much as Edward.

"You don't have to go back Jasper, you never have to work there again if it will make you happy but please tell me you still want us." He was pleading. Oh I scared him, how could I be so careless. That is not okay. We both sank down on the carpet still entwined.

"The one thing I know for sure is that I want us. It's what is keeping me sane. I'm not sure why I became so emotional probably just the confluence of events. I love you Edward. You have no idea how much." We curled into each other holding on as we let the waves of emotion recede.

After a while Edward spoke.

"Have you given any thought to what you might want to do?" In reality I hadn't. All of this was spontaneous but necessary.

"Not in any detail." I pondered for a moment. "I like the idea of opening a legal aid clinic, you know, helping people in my situation but without the resources to fight back."

"Whatever you decide is fine with me as long as we're together." Edward kissed my sorry looking face and laughed at my grimace before growing serious.

"I love you Jasper. You are everything to me."

His utter confidence in me was inspiring. While I hadn't given the idea a full vetting the more I thought about it the better it sounded.

"I could probably rent a small office to start." I could feel my enthusiasm growing.

"That's the spirit!" Edward chucked me under the chin then rose up and pulled me to my feet.

"I, on the other hand still have a strong affinity for Cullen & Cullen and need to get my ass to the office." With that sweeping declaration he disappeared into his closet to pick his clothes for the day. Once he emerged he set about getting ready for the day. As ever, he was a vision in a suit. Here I stood by comparison bare-chested in only a pair of black sleep pants. My hair was a tangled mess. Despite that Edward gripped a handful and pulled me close.

His fingers drifted over my chest and he gave my nipple a quick tweak setting my core on fire. He then layed one hell of a kiss on me, leaving me breathless.

"See you tonight baby." He was off with a wink and a swagger. I couldn't help but laugh at his silly happiness, waving him off to his day.

Therapy. Edward hadn't mentioned it in a while. I clearly was still reacting to the trauma from the attack and it dawned on me that if I didn't deal with how it has affected my daily life and Edward's as well it could damage our relationship. I peered out the window watching my lover depart. I would be better for us, for me.

….

I sat hunched in front of my laptop considering the reality of opening my own law office. I was excited by the thought. In many ways I was better suited as a sole practitioner given my independent nature.

First, though was how to break the news to the firm that I would not be returning. Edward would leave that to me. In the office we were professional colleagues, nothing more despite the well-known fact that we were seeing each other. This was business not personal.

Given my reputation as a litigator I'm sure Ed Senior and Carlisle would not be pleased given the effort they put forth to entice me from Texas. Damn, I felt guilty! They provided me the opportunity that freed me from the shackles of my old firm and my past with Peter. How do I leave without seeming ungrateful?

I had money to start up on my own, tons of it. That was not an issue. Key to moving forward was to leave the firm on a high note reputation intact. The repercussions of the assault surely reverberated through the firm. Certainly there were those who would welcome my departure.

I realized the only way for me to leave on my terms was to return to Cullen & Cullen and resume my duties for the time being. Edward should also be protected from any fall out of any implied connection between my departure and the assault. I could then formulate my long-term plan to open an advocacy practice.

Emotionally I was shaky following the attack that was certain. I committed to Edward that I would seek counseling and I would. Despite that now that I had made a decision I was convinced I could do this for a little while. I was strong enough to return to work. Determined, I picked up the phone and dialed Carlisle.

…

"Carlisle Cullen speaking."

"Good afternoon Carlisle it's Jasper." I heard him clear his throat in surprise. His chair squeaked presumably as he sat up.

"I heard the good news from Ed Senior. You won't have to testify. I'm sure that's a relief." His tone was odd, hesitant.

"I'm glad to get it behind me as well. I also wanted to let you know I'll be returning to the office full time next week."

"Good to know…good to know. Say Jasper on another subject Esme is having family dinner this Sunday and she is anxious for Edward to join us once again. Can you boys make it a point to be there?"

I was taken aback by his direct comment. I was tired of their manipulations but I knew that Edward had to mend fences with his mother to move forward.

"I'll mention it to Edward and he'll get back to you. It will be his decision."

"Okay then Jasper, I suppose that's all that can be done. In any case, I look forward to having you back at the firm next week. Goodbye."

I ended the call thinking about how Edward would react to Carlisle's request. Edward does not like being pressured not that I can blame him having observed how not only his family, mine also had great designs on how he should live his life and with whom.

Once Edward came out and declared himself some of those selfish souls could not accept his choice and to this day continue to cause him grief.

Edward has surprised me with his strength of character. He chose me and has not looked back. Tonight after he's had a chance to relax we'll discuss dinner with his mother and Carlisle. It will be on his terms not theirs.

I thought about my return to the firm. After this morning's mini-meltdown I'm sure he will have questions. As always true to his nature he won't think about the impact to himself just how I will fare. Once I explain my reasoning I hope he'll understand.

While I enjoyed to time to recover from the assault, as I healed I became increasingly anxious to resume a higher level of activity. Honestly today I for the first time felt like a housewife sending his husband off to work! Given that, I should focus on something for dinner no, I am not going to cook but my man needs to be fed!

I checked the clock and it was just after 3:00 in the afternoon. I hadn't heard from Edward all day, likely he was tied up and knowing what it was like at the firm I certainly wasn't going to annoy him with needy calls. I did however want to welcome him home warmly. We had a lot to discuss tonight.

**I am posting this now because I don't want to take so freakishly long to post! Next up Edward and Jasper's conversation and dinner with the folks.**


End file.
